Photos courtesy Humboldt Roller Derby

A grand affair took place in the Franceschi Hall at the Redwood Acres Fairgrounds early Saturday evening.

Enthused fans cheered and bellowed at the top of their lungs, egging the participants on between long pulls from their frothy beers. Though there were no racecars to be seen (the typical source of clamor at the grounds) there were certainly plenty of engines roaring. Figuratively, anyway. Colorful lights were flashing, music blared and people reveled.

A Humboldt Roller Derby bout was soon to begin.

A near-capacity crowd was awash with merriment and awe as the Humboldt Roller Derby welcomed to town the Undead Bettys, who ventured all the way from eastern Contra Costa County.

The first of two bouts on the night kicked off at 6 p.m. and featured the B squad of both organizations, as the hometown Widow Makers faced off against The Damned.

The initial match was a hotly contested battle from the onset, with the Widow Makers jumping out to an early lead as they fed off of the home-court advantage. Holding a 20-point lead at the conclusion of the first 30 minute half, the Widow Makers appeared poised to take the bout home. But The Damned had alternative inclinations, as the Contra Costa natives fought to maintain relevance deep into the second half.

With just under 15 minutes remaining, The Damned swung the pendulum back in their favor, attaining a stout lead that would hold up despite a rambunctious final effort in the waning moments from the Widow Makers. The final score was 200-174 in favor of The Damned.

“They were all classy players,” Said Widow Maker Jammer, Psycho Ward, about her opponents in the opening match, “and it was a good challenge. It was just really fun.”

Psycho continued commenting on what it means for the Widow Makers to be able to come together as a unit after logging so many rigorous hours in practice.

“We practice three days a week, at least two hours, amongst each other, and when we finally get this time to team up and go up against somebody else, it’s such an incredible feeling.”

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Following a brief intermission, the minor leaguers cleared the track to make way for the main event, a marquee matchup featuring the HRD Redwood Rollers and the visiting Undead Bettys.

Things appeared bleak for the Rollers in the early portion of the bout, as the Bettys showed no signs of fatigue from their long trip up through the Redwood Curtain. With remarkable ease, the Bettys etched 38 points on the board before the Rollers could respond with a score of their own. Having had enough of the Undead onslaught, Redwood Jammer Luna Lovebad finally worked her magic, casting 10 points in favor of the Rollers.

The Bettys were admirable in staving off their competition for the majority of the first half, but the Rollers were not to be denied glory of their own as they mounted a steady comeback. During Jam 13 of Period 1, McNasty, another Jammer for the Rollers (and the only founding member of HRD that has skated in every season), orchestrated a beautiful maneuver to break free of the pack and inch the score closer, bringing her team within 8 points of the Bettys. Three Jams later, Atreyu, who also serves as a coach for the Rollers, wove her way through a solid blockade of Bettys to snatch the first lead of the night for the hometown squad. The closing Jam of the first period saw Roller Jammer Maude Behavior secure a much-needed 10-point score, distancing their lead to 100-88.

The second period of the main event mirrored the first in many ways. The lead changed hands numerous times as both teams remained unflappable in employing various strategies to inhibit the opposition. The decisive moment of the bout occurred in Jam 16 of Period 2, as Redwood Roller’s Haught Baux blazed her way to a 9 point Jam, mounting her team’s lead to 172-148.

The Rollers would hold and eventually take the hard-earned win by a margin of 185-158. Fans flooded the floor, lining the perimeter of the track as the victorious Redwood Rollers skated around to accept the gratuitous adulation.

The Redwood Rollers successfully protected their home-court from the hungry clutches of the Undead Bettys.

Following a bout with the Sirens of Crescent City at the end of this month, the members of HRD will take a two-week break before getting right back into training for next season, which is set to begin in early 2016.

# # #

I think I finally figured out the answer to the age-old question of what happens when an immovable object crosses paths with an unstoppable force; it’s a roller derby bout.

A printed recount of a roller derby bout simply can’t give the event due diligence. One must experience it in the flesh.

The excitement in the air is palpable. There’s crashing and banging and plenty of screaming. The contests prove to be so engaging that it would be no stretch to consider them semi-interactive. A DJ provides a rocking soundtrack to coincide with all the action, fans paint their favorite players name on their forehead and clothing, and, at this bout specifically, there was even a full band in attendance, The Dirty Derby Blowhards, that wailed away during every timeout and intermission, complete with two tubas and a drummer.

I found myself, at the very least, emotionally involved, wincing with every collision and cringing with every tumble. I was pulling for them out there. I didn’t particularly want them to fall down, but any fan would admit that the crashes are probably the most fun thing to see. With remarkable swiftness, the skaters would bounce back to their feet and carry on, as though no incursion was even experienced, a proper synopsis of the will of a derby participant.

Roller derby is not a game for fans faint of fortitude. Hits are laid akin to those of linebackers and safeties in football, only it happens on wheels and with less padding. Oh, and on concrete. Not the forgiving surface of grass, or even a hardwood court. Concrete.

And like concrete, those who participate in the sport are tough. They don’t only have numbers; skaters also give themselves sinister derby names such as Casstastrophe, Jesstroyer and Zombie Stardust. Most are a clever play off their real name, but others are simply born to instill fear in the heart of their opponent.

Roller derby is a sport requiring both grace and grit, with the best teams in possession of a balance of both. Speed kills, like in every arena, but power is in equal demand.

The bout between the HRD and the Undead Bettys was only the second I’ve attended, but it certainly won’t be my last.  

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Humboldt Roller Derby has a simple vision for their organization; to provide their community with entertaining, family-friendly sporting events and also to act as a beacon of positivity for women and girls of all ages, size and ability, empowering them to be confident and healthy in every aspect of their lives.

“Empowerment. Camaraderie. We all love each other, we take care of each other. The fitness part of it is really key,” Said Pyscho Ward regarding her experiences since joining HRD, “I say all the time, I wish when I was a young girl that I would’ve had something like this. My life would’ve been a lot different. I would’ve been a stronger person, more confident. Just in the year and a half that I’ve been on the team, and the six months of boot camp before that, I’ve changed incredibly. I am empowered now and I love it. And it’s fun!”

“We make democratic decisions, and we play a crazy sport that takes a lot of skill and confidence.” Said team coach, Atreyu, about HRD.

HRD also has opportunities in place for youth skaters to get in on the action. The Seedlings are ages 7-11, while the Saplings are ages 12-17. Just recently, the first Sapling officially made the jump to the adult league. Zombie Star Dust skated for the Saplings for five years before debuting with the Redwood Rollers this season. She certainly won’t be the last to bridge the gap, as there are many talented Juniors progressively ascending the ranks.

HRD has experienced steady growth since its inception in 2006, going from learning the very basics of skating to being inducted into the pinnacle governing body of the sport, the Women’s Flat Track Roller Derby Association, and earning an international rank.

Fan support is monumental for HRD, as crowd sizes have reached up to 750, but typically average around 600 per bout. Speaking about the fans, blockers Tiger Blood and Barry ‘Em 6ft Under had this to say, “Thank you, we love you!”

Above all, behind the crushing hits, menacing war paint and insidious in-game demeanors, there are compassionate hearts peppered throughout Humboldt Roller Derby, with only the best intentions for all people who support them in the community.

As a non-profit, HRD has donated over $50,000 back to their community in its lifetime. Each bout this year, HRD donated $1,000.00 to a non-profit organization within Humboldt. Recipients this season included Humboldt Family Health Services, Humboldt Domestic Violence Services, Humboldt Trails Council, Humboldt Rape Crisis Team, Planned Parenthood Spare Change Program, CASA of Humboldt, and the Humboldt Bay Rowing Association.

Derby participants come from all walks of life, as there is a diversity of roles for every sort. There is no skill level required, only a desire to have fun, learn and grow as an individual. Women and girls of all ages are urged to come out and participate. For those interested, more information and sign ups are available at www.humboldtrollerderby.com.

Making one final sentiment about her decision to join the wonderful people involved with Humboldt Roller Derby, Psycho Ward had this sentiment, “It’s the best thing I’ve ever done, absolutely the best thing.”

After attending only a couple of bouts, I am inclined to believe her.

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During the event, Humboldt Roller Derby bid a heartfelt goodbye to retiring Head Referee, Delia Damage, who has impressively officiated every game aside from one with the organization since its creation. Her time and efforts are greatly appreciated and she will be missed.