The search for Masala, the Sequoia Park Zoo’s escaped Red Panda, entered its third day Saturday with dozens of Humboldtians fanning out from the zoo this morning in the hopes of spotting some red fuzz. So far, no luck.  

In the meantime, a good-natured soul with internet access is attempting to bring a pinch of levity to this whole hairy ordeal by engaging in the time-tested, perhaps worn out tradition of setting up a fake Twitter account for someone quasi-famous. Twitter user @RedPandaMasala claims to be “Living the dream in Eureka, California” and “Likes: long walks and low fences” and “she” is tweeting about her experiences in the big, scary world!

[UPDATE: A second, but apparently “first” fake Masala Twitter account has reached out to let us know they exist. In the interest of fairness, please devote equal attention to @masalaredpanda. Sheesh.] 

Descriptions of some of “Masala”’s walkabout exploits would seem to reveal this as someone local (who else would crack Safeway parking lot yuks?):

Hey, there are no locks on my enclosure!

— Masala the Red Panda (@RedPandaMasala) November 21, 2015

Walking down Harris. I thought this was a Safeway. Ace Hardware? WTH?

— Masala the Red Panda (@RedPandaMasala) November 21, 2015

Ah, found the new Safeway! That parking lot tho… #eurekaproblems

— Masala the Red Panda (@RedPandaMasala) November 21, 2015

Can’t find bamboo chips anywhere. Thanks for nothing, Murphy’s.

— Masala the Red Panda (@RedPandaMasala) November 21, 2015

Whoa, @KHUMradio is following me! Thanks for putting on my request for Gary Clark, Jr.

— Masala the Red Panda (@RedPandaMasala) November 21, 2015

I’m pretty new to the Internet & @Wikipedia & the world, but I’m pretty sure this isn’t accurate: “The red panda, also called lesser panda”

— Masala the Red Panda (@RedPandaMasala) November 21, 2015

Isn’t @Wikipedia also called the “lesser encyclopedia”?

— Masala the Red Panda (@RedPandaMasala) November 21, 2015

What’s the difference between Harris and Harrison??? No wonder I’m lost.

— Masala the Red Panda (@RedPandaMasala) November 21, 2015

THIS is how you take a family photo. In your face, @KimKardashian. pic.twitter.com/wLdgN5a3Rh

— Masala the Red Panda (@RedPandaMasala) November 21, 2015

Oh, Internet. You have so much free time. 

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• Red Panda Missing From Sequoia Park Zoo
• The Search for Masala: The Red Panda Hunt Continues