UPDATE: Scroll down for the list of this year’s awards winners.

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Ladies and gentlemen, DO NOT start your engines … because that would be against the rules.

Your Lost Koast Outpost welcomes you to our visual coverage of one of Humboldt County’s most enduring and glorious traditions: The 2014 Kinetic (Grand Championship) Sculpture Race. Over the course of the weekend, we’ll be throwing up pictures, video and gossip online here. We’re going to try and keep info sorted by sculpture until that proves to be unwieldy. 

LoCO extends a glorious thank you to the fine folks at Schmidbauer Building Supply and Eureka Natural Foods who love Kinetics enough to sponsor our coverage, as well as the coverage done by our colleagues at KHUM 104.3/104.7. As you follow the race this weekend, bookmark this page and add KHUM to your radio presets. Together we’ll be all up in glory.

Other LoCO Kinetic Posts:

 

 

-2014 Award Winners-

-Grand Champion-
 Tempus Fugitives: Drilling for Glory

-Engineering-
First: Melvin
Second: Banana Split
Third: 8.5

-Art-
First: Star Trukkers
Second: Blue Oyster Cult
Third: June’s Steam Pump

 -Time-
First: Dr. Pedal & Mister Ride
Second: Melvin
Third: Breakin’ Wind

-Pageantry-
First: Blue Oyster Cult
Second: Star Trukkers
Third: Hell on Axles

-ACE Medals-
 Tempus Fugitives: Drilling for Glory
Melvin
Pigasus
Think I Can
Dr. Pedal & Mr. Ride
Banana Split
Up!
Bounce For Glory
Breakin’ Wind
Biking Fool
8.5

-6:32 Award-
Race Like an Egyptian 

-Best Bribe-
Star Trukkers 

-Best Campsite-
Hell on Axels 

-Best Junior-
Pigasus 

-Best Pit Crew-
Trikosaurus 

-Best Volunteer-
Kinetic Kops 

-Biggest Splash-
Star Trukkers 

-Goddess Jen-O Award-
Brown Chicken Brown Cow

-Golden Dinosaur-
Easy as 3.14

-Golden Flipper-
Partly Cloudy 

-Lifetime Achievment Award-
Dana Hall, Bill Neil, Tom Razooly 

-Mediocre Award-
Breakin’ Wind 

-Most Improved-
Star Trukkers 

-Never Give Up-
Trikosaurus 

-One For the Little Guy-
Trikosaurus 

-Racers’ Choice-
Tempus Fugitives: Drilling for Glory 

-Second to Last-
Corpie Cruiser 

-Spectators’ Fave-
Bite Me 

-Spirt of the Glorious Founder-
 First: Lost Coast Mutineers
Second: Bounce For Glory 
Third: Banana Split

-Teddy Bear Award-
2014 Space Idiocy

-They Came From Out of Town-
Zebra Muscle Invasion

-You Klever Rascal-
-The Cloud of Unknowing 

-EVERY 2014 KINETIC SCULPTURE- 

 
-TEMPUS FUGITIVES-
Years Raced: 5 - Years Aced: 3

UPDATE: While most sculptures had to forego their pageantry displays due to time constraints, Tempus Fugitives went all out with their rewritten version of “Sixteen Tons,” six seconds of which is included below.  

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-BITE ME-
Years Raced: 29 - Years Aced: “Lots” 

UPDATE: Lead Bite Me pilot Ken Bidelman posted an extreme POV video of his scuplture’s descent down Dead Man’s Drop. View below.

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-TRI-LO-BIKE-
Years Raced: 0 - Years Aced: 0 
UPDATE: The speed demons of Tri-Lo-Bike were the first sculpture across the Day 1 finish line at Halversen Park. Zoom!

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-EASY AS 3.14-
Years Raced: 9 - Years Aced: 2

UPDATE: Pie splat! The day didn’t start so easy for this sculpture. Here’s a bummer photo of them flipped over in the Arcata Bottoms. Ouch!

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-LOST COAST MUTINEERS-
Years Raced: 3 - Years Aced: 0 

UPDATE: One of the pirates aboard this swashbuckling sculpture was upset about pageantry displays being cut short due to time constraints. He physically took out his aggression on Kinetic emcee Amy Berkowitz. Yikes!

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-DOOMED BUGGY-
Years Raced: 33 - Years Aced: n/a

UPDATE: After telling people for months that he planned to end his 32 year racing streak, Kinetic legend (and LoCO contributor) Duane Flatmo snuck in at the last minute with a repurposed rig. 

UPDATE x2: Duane and partner Lucus Thornton flipped their sculpture at Dead Man’s Drop. Fortunately, they’re all good. For the glory.

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-BOUNCE FOR GLORY-
Years Raced: n/a - Years Aced: n/a 

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-WILEY COYOTE-
Years Raced: 3 - Years Aced: 0  

UPDATE: Wiley Coyote were “This is what you don’t do” examples of the brake test. The sculpture failed to stop and ended up slamming into the back of the 8.5 sculpture. Slow down!

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-TRINITY TERROR-
Years Raced: 0 - Years Aced: 0 

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-RACE LIKE AN EGYPTIAN-
Years Raced: 8 - Years Aced: 1 

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-TRIKOSAURUS-
Years Raced: 0 - Years Aced: 0 

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-MELVIN-
Years Raced: 33 - Years Aced: 24 

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-JUNE’S STEAM PUMP-
Years Raced: 34 - Years Aced: “Lots” 

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-PIGASUS-
Years Raced: 4 - Years Aced: 1 

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-THINK I CAN-
Years Raced: 9 - Years Aced: 5 

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-DOCTOR PEDAL AND MISTER RIDE-
Years Raced: 1 - Years Aced: 1 

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-HELL ON AXLES-
Years Raced: 19 - Years Aced: 0

 

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-BLUE OYSTER CULT-
Years Raced: 7 - Years Aced: 1 

 

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-RAT-
Years Raced: 5 - Years Aced: 2 

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-CLOUD OF UNKNOWING-
Years Raced: n/a - Years Aced: n/a 

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-ACME SUPPLY TRUCK-
Years Raced: 3 - Years Aced: 0 

UPDATE: Acme Supply Truck didn’t even make it off the Plaza before it broke down. Engineering Award nominees they are not.

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-ZEBRA MUSCLE INVASION-
Years Raced: 0 - Years Aced: 0 

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-CANALIFORNIA DREAMING-
Years Raced: 0 - Years Aced: 0 

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-LOTECNOTEC-
Years Raced: 4 - Years Aced: 0 

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-FiFi-
Years Raced: 10 - Years Aced: 3 

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-UP!-
Years Raced: 3 - Years Aced: 2 

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-DOODLE BUGS-
Years Raced: n/a - Years Aced: n/a 

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-BROWN CHICKEN BROWN COW-
Years Raced: n/a - Years Aced: n/a 

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-BREAKING WIND-
Years Raced: n/a - Years Aced: n/a 

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-BANANA SPLIT-
Years Raced: n/a - Years Aced: n/a 

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-AWFUL WAFFLE-
Years Raced: n/a - Years Aced: n/a 

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-THE CORPIE CRUSIER-
Years Raced: n/a - Years Aced: n/a 

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-KINETIC PARANORMAL SOCIETY-
Years Raced: n/a - Years Aced: n/a 

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-2014: A SPACE IDIOCY-
Years Raced: n/a - Years Aced: n/a 

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-BIKIN’ FOOL-
Years Raced: n/a - Years Aced: n/a 

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-STAR TRUKKERS-
Years Raced: n/a - Years Aced: n/a 

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-PARTLY CLOUDY-
Years Raced: n/a - Years Aced: n/a 

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-BAMBOO BOMBER-
Years Raced: n/a - Years Aced: n/a 

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-CLINTON FOR PRESIDENT-
Years Raced: n/a - Years Aced: n/a 

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-FUNKIN’ PIZZA SHIP-
Years Raced: n/a - Years Aced: n/a 

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-OLD TEC-
Years Raced: 0 - Years Aced: 0 

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-8.5-
Years Raced: n/a - Years Aced: n/a

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-JEEP-
Years Raced: n/a - Years Aced: n/a 

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