Let’s review the arguments Eureka City Councilmember Marian Brady made at the Humboldt County Planning Commission on Dec. 1.

Nobody with eyes in their goddamn head would dispute any of these things.

But Brady made another case, too. To paraphrase: The billboard backlash is just a manifestation of the well-documented liberal elite agenda to kill jobs, and so must be resisted by all right-thinking people.

You’d think that this would be pretty self-evident as well. Just this week, though, someone calling himself “Jonathan Snyder” published a so-called “white paper” that uses “data” to “make the case” that there is a strong inverse correlation between billboard density and wealth, and that cities with tight restrictions on billboards tend to have less poverty, lower home vacancy rates and higher real estate values.

To quote from “Snyder’s” conclusion:

Across these multiple measures, billboards were found to have negative financial and economic impacts. In Philadelphia, there is a statistically significant correlation between real estate value (as measured by sales price) and proximity to billboards. Properties located within 500 ft. of a billboard have a decreased real estate value of $30,826. Additionally, homes located further than 500 ft. but within a census tract/community where billboards are present experience a decrease of $947 for every billboard in that census tract. Income for strict sign control cities is higher than that for not-strict cities. Furthermore,the home vacancy and poverty rates for strict control cities are lower. Having strict sign controls does not negatively impact the economic prosperity of a city.

Don’t make me laugh. Here, if anyone asks, is how we can tell that this is just more of the same liberal elitist mind-control propaganda.

For one, this “Snyder” admits that he has a graduate degree from a fancy-pants Ivy League university.

For another, this degree was in city planning.

For another, he just can’t stop himself from throwing in some data to show that bike paths increase property values, as if that had anything to do with anything.

Most importantly, though, the paper itself was paid for by something called the “Samuel S. Fels Fund.”

What is the Samuel S. Fels Fund? Everything you need to know is on the Internet. It is the legacy of early 20th-century industrialist and fifth-columnist Samuel S. Fels, of Fels-Naptha soap fame. Just as Scottish Communist Andrew Carnegie sought to destroy the publishing industry by building up a nationwide network of so-called “libraries” for freeloaders, so did the traitor Fels bankroll a foundation that “addresses positive social change.” Wink.

Cui bono? Scumbag non-consumers, of course. Here we see a self-described “hippie” grinding up Fels-Naptha in a food processor. Case closed!