My boyfriend’s car this morning. | Jacquelyn Opalach

Today, I woke up to a text from my neighbor
Who heard a bump and scratch in the night, not too far
You see, a bear was expending great labor
To rip a hole into my boyfriend’s small car

She yelled and she clapped, the bear ran away
And although the great beast didn’t manage to enter
The damage was done: door bits scattered every which way
Luckily my dude is a nifty inventor

With a smile n’ pliers he hacked up a quick fix
Alas, in this rural tale no one wins
So a few words of caution to folks in the sticks:
Don’t leave an old pizza box on the seat of your rigs

Today, my boyfriend will give State Farm a ring
Hopefully they cover this sort of thing?

All fixed up, for now.