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Prepare for a silver wave of incoming retirees, Humboldt! Today, the Los Angeles Times, California’s largest newspaper by circulation, released its rankings of the top 10 best places to retire in the state, and behold! There’s a two-way tie atop the podium: Our very own Eureka and Arcata.

How the heck did they arrive at that conclusion, you ask? The Times ranked 367 California cities based on four criteria: 

• Climate: the number of days of extreme heat expected per year, based on projections for 2035 to 2064
• Health and wellness: a health index combining dozens of factors, including air quality, access to transportation and proportion of adults with health insurance — though not direct access to hospitals [emphasis added]
• Recreation: the proportion of residents who have a park, beach or open space greater than 1 acre within a half-mile of their home
• Affordability: typical home prices and rental costs in the city

As such, our local municipalities benefited from having zero days per year above 100 degrees; copious access to parks, beaches and open spaces; and relatively cheap home and rent prices (by California standards, anyway).

Both Eureka and Arcata also rate near or (in Arcata’s case) above the top 50% in the health index.

The list notes one specific “con” for our local cities: their remoteness, which some of us consider a “pro.”

“A drive from Los Angeles would take nearly 11 hours, and that is without any traffic (good luck with that!),” the story says. (Who the hell drives from here to Los Angeles? We have direct flights, ffs.)

Our neighbor to the north, Crescent City, lands at No. 7 on the list despite having “few attractions” and ranking “poor” (bottom 20% of all cities) in the health index.

The Bay Area also makes a good showing, with Benicia and Emeryville making the list. Also in NorCal: Fair Oaks in Sacramento County and the picturesque burgh of Grass Valley in the Sierra Nevada foothills.