Dustin’ off this silly graphic we made a thousand years ago

It’s been a while, but we’d like to welcome you all to the latest edition of LoCO SPORTS — the only online sports feature powered entirely by proud parents sending LoCO the arguably interesting exploits of their talented children. Let’s get ready to rumble! 

This time out: Mega kudos are in order for 10-year-old McKinleyville resident Calvin Koczera, after he and a turtle named “Flash” bested roughly 500 other competitors during the 62nd annual Nisswa, Minnesota Turtle Races. Can we get a cowabunga? 

To claim the title, Calvin and his swift-shelled sidekick had to speed through three separate heats. We’ve compiled the videos Calvin’s parents sent us into a sporty montage, which you can watch below. (Note: We’ve condensed the action a bit because, as you might have heard, turtles are slow.)

There you have it. Calvin is a big winner and, by extension, one could make the case that makes all of us in Humboldt big winners. CONGRATULATIONS, CALVIN AND US! 

For his part, we are told Flash received some lettuce. 

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* - Comparable to other turtles only