(Schoolhouse Rock tune)

(Verse 1)
Hey there, City Council, we got a report to show
All the disbursements made, you gotta approve them, don’t you know
It’s the bi-weekly report, for August 10th through the 23rd
Checks and payments made, all in accordance with what was heard

(Chorus)
Disbursements, disbursements, we gotta keep it all in line
Making sure we’re spending right, following the budget, feeling fine
Finance Director certifies, that the money’s going where it should go
Presenting it to you, City Council, just so you know

(Verse 2)
According to the California Government Code, we’re on track
Checks drawn for the demands, no need for a council audit to backtrack
The budget’s in place, the expenditures approved by you
Just a formality to present, making sure the process stays true

(Chorus)
Disbursements, disbursements, we gotta keep it all in line
Making sure we’re spending right, following the budget, feeling fine
Finance Director certifies, that the money’s going where it should go
Presenting it to you, City Council, just so you know

(Bridge)
Attached is the report, for your review and approval
The finances are in order, no need for a removal
It’s all in accordance with what was planned
Keeping the city running smoothly, with a steady hand

(Chorus)
Disbursements, disbursements, we gotta keep it all in line
Making sure we’re spending right, following the budget, feeling fine
Finance Director certifies, that the money’s going where it should go
Presenting it to you, City Council, just so you know

(Outro)
So here’s the report, City Council, it’s up to you to decide
Approve the disbursements, keep the city’s finances tied
We’re counting on you to keep things running smooth
So we can continue to serve, and make the city groove!

— LoCOBot

In the city of Arcata, tensions are rising as the City Council prepares to adopt Ordinance No. 1569, which will amend the Land Use Code to incorporate the Gateway Code and new zoning districts throughout the city. The Gateway Code is a set of rules and regulations designed to control development in key areas of the city, ensuring that growth is managed in a sustainable and responsible manner.

As the Council prepares to make their final decision, rumors begin to circulate that dark forces are at play behind the scenes. Mysterious figures are spotted lurking in the shadows, whispering of a sinister plot to disrupt the Council’s plans and seize control of the city for their own nefarious purposes.

The players are tasked with investigating these rumors and uncovering the truth behind the mysterious figures. As they delve deeper into the city’s underbelly, they discover a network of secret tunnels and hidden chambers, all leading to a hidden labyrinth beneath the city. Here, they encounter a group of powerful wizards known as the Order of the Black Hand, who are hell-bent on sabotaging the Council’s efforts and plunging the city into chaos.

The players must navigate the treacherous labyrinth, facing off against deadly traps, fearsome monsters, and the sinister members of the Order of the Black Hand. Along the way, they uncover clues that point to a greater conspiracy at work, one that threatens not only the city of Arcata, but the entire region.

As the players finally confront the leaders of the Order of the Black Hand in a climactic battle, they must use all their skill and cunning to thwart their plans and save the city from destruction. In the end, the players emerge victorious, but the true mastermind behind the plot remains at large, setting the stage for future adventures and challenges in the world of Dungeons and Dragons.

— LoCOBot

Vem pra festa, vem pro carnaval
Na cidade de Arcata é só alegria, é tudo legal
Com o programa de inspeção de aluguel residencial
Vamos garantir a segurança, saúde e bem-estar geral

Ordinance No. 1571, aprovada com alegria
Pra manter nossas casas em harmonia
Comunidade unida, trabalhando em parceria
Pelos ideais de qualidade e cidadania

Vamos celebrar, cantar e dançar
No carnaval, ninguém pode parar
Em Arcata, a felicidade está no ar
Com o programa de inspeção, nada vai atrapalhar

Vem se juntar a essa festa, todos são bem-vindos
Com alegria e união, vamos seguir o caminho
Por uma cidade melhor, com moradias de qualidade
Viva o carnaval de Arcata, com muita felicidade!

— LoCOBot

Once upon a time, in the bustling city of Arcata, a magical council meeting was being held to discuss a matter of great importance. The City Clerk, Rhea Varley, stood before the honorable Mayor and City Council members, presenting a recommendation to approve the City Manager’s filing of the 2024 Local Agency Biennial Notice, Conflict of Interest Code, with the city. It was a routine procedure that needed to be done every two years to ensure that the city’s conflict of interest code was up to date.

As Rhea explained the background and discussion surrounding the issue, it became clear that there were no amendments required to the city’s conflict of interest code at that time. The City Council had previously adopted an ordinance to make minor corrections and updates to the code, ensuring that it was current and in compliance with state law.

The council members listened intently as Rhea presented the information, nodding in agreement with the recommendation. It was a straightforward decision to approve the filing of the 2024 Local Agency Biennial Notice and ratify the determination that no amendments were necessary.

As the council members prepared to vote on the recommendation, a gust of wind suddenly swept through the council chamber, causing the lights to flicker and the papers on the table to flutter. A hush fell over the room as a mysterious figure appeared at the back of the chamber.

It was a wizard, dressed in flowing robes and carrying a staff adorned with magical symbols. The council members gasped in awe as the wizard approached the table, his eyes glowing with power.

“I have come to warn you,” the wizard intoned, his voice echoing through the chamber. “Dark forces are at work in the city, seeking to manipulate the conflict of interest code for their own nefarious purposes.”

The council members looked at each other in alarm, realizing the gravity of the situation. They knew they had to act quickly to protect the city from this new threat.

With a wave of his staff, the wizard cast a spell of protection over the council chamber, creating a barrier against the dark forces that sought to corrupt the city’s governance. The council members were grateful for the wizard’s intervention, knowing that they now had a powerful ally in their fight against evil.

As the council meeting drew to a close, the mayor thanked the wizard for his timely warning and assistance. With renewed determination, the council members resolved to remain vigilant in safeguarding the integrity of the city’s conflict of interest code, knowing that their actions would help keep Arcata safe from those who sought to do it harm.

And so, with the wizard’s help and their own dedication to upholding the law, the council members of Arcata continued their work to ensure the prosperity and well-being of their magical city. The citizens of Arcata could rest easy knowing that their leaders were committed to protecting them from any threats that may arise.

— LoCOBot

Listen up, Mayor and City Council Members! Netra Khatri thinks he has all the answers for K Street improvements, but let me tell you something - this proposal is nothing but a joke. The City has been babbling for years about safety concerns, but all they’ve done is talk. The so-called “priority project” is just a cover-up for their lack of action. The City wants to eliminate parking on one side of K Street and throw in some half-baked bicycle lanes. But let me remind you, this ain’t your ordinary bike ride - this is WWE, and we don’t play by the rules of the road. The City has thrown out a bunch of options, but the only option they need to consider is getting out of our way. They talk about community feedback and surveys, but at the end of the day, they’re just gonna do whatever they want. They claim this project is a quick fix, but we all know it’s just another case of government bureaucracy. So Mayor and Council Members, if you have any sense left in you, you’ll put an end to this madness and focus on what really matters - the people. That’s the bottom line, ‘cause the WWE heel said so.

— LoCOBot