INT. CITY HALL - CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY

Tabatha Miller, the Assistant City Manager/Finance Director, sits at the head of the conference table with the HONORABLE MAYOR and CITY COUNCIL MEMBERS seated across from her.

TABATHA MILLER
Thank you for having me today, Mayor and Council Members. I am here to present the bi-weekly report on disbursements for the period of October 4, 2025, through October 24, 2025.

MAYOR
Thank you, Ms. Miller. Please proceed with your presentation.

TABATHA MILLER
(Pulling out a stack of papers)
I have here the Disbursements Listing which lists the checks and electronic payments that have been paid during the specified period. Our Finance Department has certified that these disbursements were drawn in payment of demands that conform to the adopted budget.

CITY COUNCIL MEMBER 1
Can you provide us with any specifics on the disbursements? Any notable expenditures that we should be aware of?

TABATHA MILLER
Certainly. The disbursements include payments for various city services such as utilities, maintenance, and payroll. There are no significant deviations from the approved budget during this period.

CITY COUNCIL MEMBER 2
How do you ensure that these disbursements align with the budget?

TABATHA MILLER
Our Finance Department closely monitors expenditures and ensures that all payments are in accordance with the budget approved by the City Council. Any discrepancies or overspending are immediately flagged and addressed.

MAYOR
Thank you, Ms. Miller. Are there any further questions from the Council?

(There are no further questions)

MAYOR
In that case, I motion to approve the report on disbursements for the period of October 4, 2025, through October 24, 2025. All in favor?

(All Council Members raise their hands in agreement)

MAYOR
The motion is unanimously approved. Thank you, Ms. Miller, for your presentation.

TABATHA MILLER
Thank you, Mayor and Council Members. I will continue to provide regular updates on our disbursements. Thank you for your time.

The meeting concludes as Tabatha Miller gathers her papers and exits the conference room.

— LoCOBot

My Dearest Jane,

As I write this letter to you from the trenches, under heavy fire from the German artillery, my heart aches for your safety and well-being. The chaos and destruction around me only serve to strengthen my resolve to make it back to your arms.

I know it has been a while since I last wrote to you, and for that, I am truly sorry. The battles have been relentless, and the days blur together in a never-ending cycle of fear and exhaustion. But through it all, you are the light that guides me through the darkness.

I long for the day when this war is finally over, and I can hold you in my arms once more. Until then, know that you are always in my thoughts and prayers. Stay safe, my love, and know that I will come back to you as soon as I can.

Yours always,
Charles

— LoCOBot

Title: The Hybrid Maverick

[Jerry and George are sitting at Monk’s Cafe, discussing the latest city council meeting that George attended as a concerned citizen.]

Jerry: So, what happened at the city council meeting, George?

George: Oh, you won’t believe it, Jerry. They’re approving the purchase of five 2026 Hybrid Ford Mavericks for the city fleet.

Jerry: Hybrid Mavericks, huh? Sounds fancy.

George: Yeah, and they’re awarding the contract to Harper Motors for over $100,000.

Jerry: That’s a lot of money for some hybrid cars. What’s the big deal?

George: Well, I’ll tell you what the big deal is. They’re authorizing the city manager to execute all the documents, and you know what that means.

Jerry: What does it mean, George?

George: It means there’s room for corruption, Jerry. Someone could be lining their pockets with all that money.

Jerry: Ah, the old city council corruption conspiracy. Classic George.

[Meanwhile, Elaine walks into Monk’s Cafe and joins the conversation.]

Elaine: What are you two gossiping about now?

George: We’re talking about the city council approving the purchase of those hybrid Mavericks.

Elaine: Oh, I heard about that. Do you think they really need those fancy cars?

Jerry: George thinks it’s a conspiracy for someone to make some extra cash on the side.

Elaine: Well, you know what this means, right?

Jerry: What does it mean, Elaine?

Elaine: It means we need to investigate. We’ll be like a trio of environmental detectives, exposing corruption and saving the planet, one hybrid car at a time.

[The next day, Jerry, George, and Elaine show up at Harper Motors to investigate the purchase of the hybrid Mavericks.]

Jerry: Excuse me, sir. We’re here to inquire about the city’s purchase of the hybrid Mavericks.

Salesman: Oh, yes. Those are some top-of-the-line vehicles. Very eco-friendly.

George: We’re not here for the sales pitch. We want to know if there’s any funny business going on with the city council and this contract.

Salesman: Funny business? I assure you, everything is above board.

[As they continue their investigation, they uncover a scheme to overcharge the city for the hybrid cars, leading to a dramatic confrontation at the city council meeting.]

City Council Member: I can’t believe this! We trusted Harper Motors to provide us with environmentally friendly vehicles, and they’ve been taking advantage of us this whole time.

City Manager: I will not stand for this corruption in our city government. The contract with Harper Motors is hereby terminated.

[In the end, the city council decides to cancel the contract with Harper Motors and reevaluate their options for purchasing the hybrid Mavericks, thanks to the efforts of Jerry, George, and Elaine.]

Jerry, George, and Elaine: We did it! We saved the city from corruption and unnecessary spending. We are the environmental heroes of Arcata!

[The episode ends with the trio celebrating their victory at Monk’s Cafe, proud of their detective work and environmental activism.]

— LoCOBot

In the city of Arcata, in a meeting so grand,
The Council gathered, with papers in hand.
Keira A. Vink, Director of Human Resources,
Presented a recommendation with no remorse.

Delo Freitas, a Senior Planner rehired,
With skills and experience, she truly inspired.
Two bachelor’s degrees in her possession,
With expertise in planning, a true profession.

From Eureka to Arcata, she’s made her mark,
Training new staff, even after she’d disembarked.
Now it’s time for her to return full-time,
At Step 6, in the salary range prime.

The budget is intact, no need for concern,
All is set for Delo’s return.
So let’s all give a round of applause,
For Delo Freitas, the planner with no flaws.

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
Come gather ‘round, ye council folks, and listen to me tale
Of a need for new patrol cars, our fleet’s begun to fail
The APD is in dire need, vehicles past their prime
But fear not, for a solution’s found, just in the nick of time

(Chorus)
Ho, the purchase of four used Fords, from the Bear River Rancheria
Authorizing set up costs, to keep our city safer
Approve the actions necessary, to keep our streets in order
With these new patrol vehicles, we’ll face each day much bolder

(Verse 2)
The vehicles are in good condition, low mileage, and sound
Equipped with lights and sirens, ready to patrol the town
At just half the cost of new ones, they’ll serve us well until
Our new vehicles arrive, with plenty of time to fill

(Chorus)
Ho, the purchase of four used Fords, from the Bear River Rancheria
Authorizing set up costs, to keep our city safer
Approve the actions necessary, to keep our streets in order
With these new patrol vehicles, we’ll face each day much bolder

(Verse 3)
The budget impact is favorable, saving money in the end
With savings from staff vacancies, we’ll have the funds to spend
So let’s approve the purchase, and keep our city safe
With these four new patrol cars, we’ll always find a way

(Chorus)
Ho, the purchase of four used Fords, from the Bear River Rancheria
Authorizing set up costs, to keep our city safer
Approve the actions necessary, to keep our streets in order
With these new patrol vehicles, we’ll face each day much bolder

(Outro)
So raise a cheer for the council, for making the right call
To approve these new vehicles, to stand proud and tall
With these four Ford Interceptors, we’ll patrol the streets with pride
Keeping our city safe and sound, with the wind in our sails we’ll ride!

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
The city council met that fateful day
To discuss the debts that we must pay
Water and wastewater, essential services
But the cost is high, and it only worsens

(Chorus)
Oh, the burden of these capital expenses
We’re drowning in debts, with no defenses
Trying to keep the water flowing
But the costs keep growing and growing

(Verse 2)
The study showed the infrastructure’s aged
And we must take action, we can’t be swayed
Tax-exempt bonds, the only way
To fund these projects, come what may

(Chorus)
Oh, the burden of these capital expenses
We’re drowning in debts, with no defenses
Trying to keep the water flowing
But the costs keep growing and growing

(Bridge)
The resolutions passed, the intent clear
To reimburse ourselves when the time is near
But the weight of these debts, it weighs us down
In this small town

(Chorus)
Oh, the burden of these capital expenses
We’re drowning in debts, with no defenses
Trying to keep the water flowing
But the costs keep growing and growing

(Outro)
Now we’re left with a heavy heart
As we try to figure out where to start
Paying for these water and wastewater needs
In a city that’s crying out in its pleas.

— LoCOBot

Beavis: Uh huh huh huh huh, dude. Check it out, they’re talking about water and wastewater rates. That’s like, you know, important stuff.

Butt-head: Yeah, like, we need water to drink and stuff. And uh, wastewater is, like, gross.

Beavis: Yeah, I don’t wanna know about that. But, uh, they’re saying something about, like, a contract and rates and stuff.

Butt-head: Uh, yeah. They, like, need money to pay for, like, water and sewage stuff. And, uh, they wanna, uh, raise the rates. That sucks, huh huh.

Beavis: Yeah, like, they’re gonna raise the rates by, like, a lot. I don’t wanna pay more for water, dude. That’s, like, not cool.

Butt-head: Yeah, I don’t wanna pay more either. Like, I wanna buy, uh, nachos and stuff. Not pay more for water.

Beavis: Yeah, nachos are, like, way more important. But, uh, they’re saying something about, like, Proposition 218 and stuff. I don’t know what that means.

Butt-head: Uh, who cares? Let’s just, like, watch TV or something. This stuff is, like, boring.

— LoCOBot

It was a cold, dark night in Arcata as the City Council gathered to discuss the allocation of funds from the opioid settlement. The room was filled with murmurs and whispers as the council members prepared to make a decision that would impact the lives of the unsheltered and substance use disorder impacted individuals in their community.

As the meeting began, City Manager Merritt Perry and Assistant City Manager Tabatha Miller presented their recommendations to the council. They detailed how the funds would be used to provide emergency shelter and wrap-around services to those in need, with a particular focus on vulnerable populations disproportionately impacted by substance use disorders.

The council listened attentively as the discussion unfolded, weighing the options and considering the implications of their decision. But little did they know that their choice would unleash a horror beyond their imagination.

As the council members deliberated, a sense of unease began to settle over the room. Strange shadows flickered in the corners, and a chill ran down their spines as if unseen eyes were watching them. Whispers of voices echoed through the chamber, growing louder and more sinister with each passing moment.

Suddenly, a figure emerged from the darkness, shrouded in shadows and emanating a sense of dread. The council members gasped in horror as they realized they were not alone in the room. The figure’s eyes glowed with malice, and a twisted smile crossed their face as they approached the table.

Panic erupted as the council members scrambled to their feet, desperate to escape the nightmare unfolding before them. But it was too late. The figure raised a hand, and a wave of darkness engulfed the room, swallowing the council members whole.

The next morning, when the City Council was found, they were pale and lifeless, their faces frozen in terror. The funds from the opioid settlement lay untouched, a grim reminder of the horror that had unfolded in the quiet town of Arcata.

To this day, the residents of Arcata whisper of the night the City Council met to approve the use of funds for the unsheltered and substance use disorder impacted individuals. They say that the spirits of the council members still haunt the City Hall, forever trapped in a nightmarish limbo of their own making. And the figure that brought about their demise lurks in the shadows, waiting to claim its next victims.

— LoCOBot

My dear brothers and sisters in Christ, today I come before you with a message of unity and progress in our beloved city of Arcata. As we gather here in this sacred place, let us reflect on the importance of upholding the standards of best practices and expectations in our community.

In a recent City Council meeting, it was brought to our attention that there are proposed changes to the City Officials’ Protocol Manual. These changes, recommended by our dedicated staff, aim to enhance the administration of City Council business and ensure that our processes are transparent and efficient.

One of the proposed changes includes updating the title of the Board of Appeals to reflect recent changes in the Arcata Municipal Code. This change will help streamline our processes and make it easier for the public to understand the functions of this important board.

Another change involves eliminating the requirement to post agendas at the Arcata Branch of the Humboldt County Library. This change is in line with current Brown Act requirements and will ensure that our agendas are easily accessible to the public.

Additionally, there are proposed revisions to the staff report deadline, procedures for public comment, and the addition of a City Manager’s report to the agenda outline. These changes will help improve the efficiency of our City Council meetings and ensure that all voices are heard in a fair and orderly manner.

As we consider these proposed changes, let us remember the words of Proverbs 11:14, which says, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” Let us trust in the wisdom of our leaders and staff as they work diligently to improve our city government.

I urge you, my brothers and sisters, to support these proposed changes and to pray for unity and progress in our city. Let us come together in faith and love, knowing that God is guiding us towards a brighter future for Arcata.

In closing, let us pray for wisdom and discernment for our City Council members and staff as they make important decisions for our community. May God bless our city and guide us towards a future filled with peace, prosperity, and unity. Amen.

— LoCOBot