Humboldt Highness Cannabis Retail Facility
Project No: CUP-22-0008

The year is 2023 and the city of Eureka is in the midst of a transformation. With the legalization of recreational cannabis in California, entrepreneurs have flocked to the city to set up their cannabis-related businesses. One such business is Humboldt Highness, LLC, a cannabis retail facility that is looking to open a shop at 29 5th Street.

Humboldt Highness applied for a Conditional Use Permit (CUP) from the City of Eureka to open their cannabis retail facility. After months of review, the Planning Commission finally convened for a public hearing to consider the permit. At the hearing, the Commission heard from Millisa Smith, the Assistant Planner assigned to the case, who presented a detailed staff report on the project.

The report outlined the details of the project, including the square footage of the facility, the hours of operation, the security measures to be implemented, and the details of their planned odor control system. The Commission also heard from local area Tribal Historic Preservation Officers, who recommended measures to ensure any ground disturbance would not harm any cultural artifacts. The Commission also heard from the public, both in favor and opposed to the project.

Ultimately, the Commission unanimously approved the CUP, finding that the project was exempt from CEQA, and that it would not be detrimental to the public health, safety, or welfare, or materially injurious to the properties or improvements in the vicinity.

Now that the permit has been granted, Humboldt Highness will move forward with their plans to open their cannabis retail facility. With its prime location and state-of-the-art security and odor control systems, the facility is sure to become a popular spot for cannabis enthusiasts in the city of Eureka.

— LoCOBot

Jack in the Box
Project Nos: AA-21-0004 (mod)

It had been a long day in the small town of Eureka, and the sun had just set behind the hills. The locals had all gone home, and the streets were eerily quiet.

Suddenly, a loud rumbling filled the air. It seemed to be coming from just down the street, and it was getting louder by the second.

As the rumbling grew closer, a large truck came into view, followed by a long line of cars. They all stopped in front of the new Jack in the Box restaurant that had just opened.

The locals had been wary of the new restaurant. It had been built in a hurry, and the construction seemed to be cursed. People had reported strange noises coming from the building at night, and the workers had all fled in terror.

But the locals were more worried about the new drive-through trellis, patio, lighting, and signage that had just been installed. The bright lights and loud music emanating from the restaurant seemed to be calling out to something in the darkness.

As the locals watched in horror, they saw a figure emerge from the shadows. It was large and shrouded in darkness, and it seemed to be heading straight for the restaurant.

The figure slowly made its way to the drive-through window and began to pound on the glass. The locals could hear a muffled voice coming from the figure, but they couldn’t make out what it was saying.

Suddenly, the figure stopped pounding on the window and stepped back into the shadows. Then, as quickly as it had appeared, it was gone.

The locals were left in stunned silence. What had just happened? Who was that figure? And why had it come to the Jack in the Box?

They may never know the answers to these questions, but one thing is for sure: the locals will never forget the night they encountered the mysterious figure at the Jack in the Box.

— LoCOBot

General Plan Conformance
Project No: GPC-22-0001

EPISODE OF SEINFELD

The episode opens with Jerry and George in Jerry’s apartment discussing the latest news.

Jerry: “Hey George, did you hear about the General Plan Conformance Review for 1017 4th Street?”

George: “No, what’s that?”

Jerry: “Well, the County of Humboldt wants to acquire the land and demolish the existing residential structure. But they need the City of Eureka to approve the project first.”

George: “Seems like a lot of bureaucracy!”

Jerry: “Yeah, but it’s necessary to make sure the project is in line with the City’s 2040 General Plan. Plus, the County needs to replace the 64 off-street parking spaces that will be lost when the project is completed.”

George: “I guess that makes sense. So, did the City approve it?”

Jerry: “Not yet. The Planning Commission needs to approve the project first. They’re meeting tomorrow to discuss it.”

George: “Maybe we should go check it out. It could be interesting!”

Jerry: “Yeah, let’s do it!”

The next day, Jerry and George arrive at the Planning Commission meeting. They take their seats in the back of the room as the Commission begins to discuss the project.

Commissioner: “So, what is the recommendation for this project?”

Assistant Planner: “We recommend receiving the report and adopting a Resolution finding the conformance review is exempt from CEQA and determining acquisition of the land and demolition of the existing residential structure located at 1017 4th Street is not in conformance with the City’s 2040 General Plan.”

Commissioner: “What is the net benefit to the public?”

Assistant Planner: “Unfortunately, without a clear understanding or plan of what future development will be, future benefit to the public cannot be weighed.”

The Commission continues to debate the merits of the project, with Jerry and George looking on in amusement. Finally, the Commission votes to approve the project, with Jerry and George cheering in the back of the room. The episode ends with Jerry and George walking out of the meeting, talking about the project.

Jerry: “That was interesting!”

George: “Yeah, it was. I’m glad they approved the project!”

Jerry:

— LoCOBot

General Plan Conformance
Project No: GPC-22-0002

Once upon a time, in a small city by the sea, there was a county that was in need of a new public health laboratory facility. The county wanted to modernize and consolidate existing laboratory operations into a single, efficient facility, but they needed land to do it. After a long search, the county finally found two adjacent parcels, located on I Street, which they thought would be perfect for the new facility.

The county went to the Planning Commission to request approval for the acquisition and development of the parcels. After careful consideration, the Planning Commission determined that the project was in accordance with the City’s 2040 General Plan and granted approval.

The county set to work acquiring the land, demolishing the existing single-family residence, and merging the two parcels. Everyone in the city was excited for the new facility, as it would bring much needed improvements and upgrades to the area.

Once the construction of the new facility was complete, the people of the city were amazed. It was a two-story office building with an associated parking lot. It was modern, efficient, and exactly what the county had envisioned. Everyone was so proud of the new facility, and thankful for the hard work of the county and the Planning Commission for making it all possible.

The people of the city were so happy to have the new facility that they decided to throw a celebration. Everyone gathered together in the city square to celebrate the completion of the project. They shared stories, ate food, and listened to music. It was a truly joyous occasion that no one would ever forget.

The moral of the story is that hard work and dedication can make great things happen.

— LoCOBot

Verse 1:
Down the coast of Eureka, I can see the changes all around,
The planning commission’s staff report, all the changes they have found.
It’s time to update the coastal plan, it’s time to make it real,
With new policies and regulations, it’s time to make a deal.

Chorus:
Make a plan for the coast,
Find a way to make it work,
Update the land use plan,
For all the people of Eureka.

Verse 2:
The seismic and geologic hazards, they need to be accounted for,
The tsunamis, flooding, and erosion, it’s time to keep the score.
Hazardous material contamination, we need to keep that in check,
It’s time to take a stand and plan, so that we all can be safe.

Chorus:
Make a plan for the coast,
Find a way to make it work,
Update the land use plan,
For all the people of Eureka.

Bridge:
Down the coastal line of Eureka,
It’s time to make a change,
Protect the people and the land,
We must act now and arrange.

Chorus:
Make a plan for the coast,
Find a way to make it work,
Update the land use plan,
For all the people of Eureka.

— LoCOBot