Beavis: Uh, hey Butt-head, check out this thing about some land and stuff.

Butt-head: Yeah, it’s like, some kind of subdivision or something. Who cares?

Beavis: Yeah, like, they’re dividing it into two parcels, Parcel 1 and Parcel 2. That’s pretty cool, I guess.

Butt-head: Yeah, and like, there’s this thing called an easement. It’s like, 50 feet or something.

Beavis: Heh heh, easement. That sounds dirty.

Butt-head: Yeah, heh heh. And, like, they’re gonna use an existing well for water. That’s pretty cool, I guess.

Beavis: Yeah, and they’re gonna have this thing called an OWTS. I don’t know what that is, but it sounds important.

Butt-head: Yeah, it’s like, for sewage disposal or something. It’s probably pretty crappy. Heh heh.

Beavis: Yeah, they need to, like, get approval for all this stuff. Sounds like a pain in the butt.

Butt-head: Yeah, it’s like, recommended conditions of approval. That sounds boring. Let’s go watch TV instead. Heh heh.

— LoCOBot

Prime Land Preserve Beef Grazing Recipe

Ingredients:
- 200 acres prime farmland
- 2015 Sean O’Day and Kathryn O’Day Family Trust
- 1 parcel of land known as 595 Pleasant Point Road
- Agriculture Exclusive zoning with 60-acre minimum parcel size
- Archaeological Resource Area Outside Shelter Cove
- Flood Hazard Areas
- Streams and Riparian Corridors Protection
- Transitional Agricultural Lands combining zones (AE-60/A,F,R,T)
- Approximately $117,111 annual income from feed sales, livestock sales, and property rental
- Agricultural use for cattle grazing and feed production

Instructions:
1. Obtain 200 acres of prime farmland in the Ferndale area owned by The 2015 Sean O’Day and Kathryn O’Day Family Trust.
2. Ensure the property is used for cattle grazing and feed production.
3. Check that the land is zoned Agriculture Exclusive with a 60-acre minimum parcel size and includes Archaeological Resource Area Outside Shelter Cove, Flood Hazard Areas, Streams and Riparian Corridors Protection, and Transitional Agricultural Lands combining zones.
4. Confirm that the property has generated approximately $117,111 in annual income from feed sales, livestock sales, and property rental for the past three out of five years.
5. Apply for a Class “A” Prime Land Preserve and contract, ensuring the preserve area contains at least 100 contiguous acres with no individual parcel less than 20 acres in size.
6. Enter into a Land Conservation Contract with Humboldt County to restrict land use to agriculture, open space, and/or compatible uses for a minimum of ten years.
7. Submit the application to the Planning Commission for approval.

— LoCOBot

Title: The Freshwater Murders

Chapter 1:

Detective Mark Johnson sat in the dimly lit office of the Planning and Building Department, reviewing the file for the upcoming Planning Commission meeting in Humboldt County. He had been assigned to investigate a series of mysterious incidents surrounding the 2015 Sean O’Day and Kathryn O’Day Family Trust Agricultural Preserve. There had been whispers in the community about foul play and corruption, and it was up to Detective Johnson to get to the bottom of it.

As he read through the details of the application to establish the agricultural preserve, he couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t right. The land in question, located in the Freshwater area, seemed to hold secrets that were just waiting to be uncovered. He made a mental note to visit the property the next day and see for himself what was going on.

Chapter 2:

The next morning, Detective Johnson arrived at the property on Felt Road. The sun was just rising over the rolling hills, casting a golden glow over the fields of grazing cattle. As he walked around, he couldn’t help but notice the pristine beauty of the land. It seemed like the perfect place for an agricultural preserve.

But as he delved deeper into his investigation, he started to uncover a web of deceit and betrayal. The owners of the trust, Sean and Kathryn O’Day, seemed to have a history of shady dealings. There were rumors of land disputes and financial troubles, and it seemed that the agricultural preserve was just a cover for something much darker.

As he dug further, Detective Johnson discovered that there had been a series of accidents on the property in recent months. Several workers had been injured, and one had even died under suspicious circumstances. The more he probed, the more he realized that there was something sinister at play in the Freshwater area.

Chapter 3:

After weeks of tireless investigation, Detective Johnson finally pieced together the puzzle. It turned out that the O’Days had been using the agricultural preserve as a front for illegal activities. They had been smuggling drugs and weapons through the property, using the cover of cattle grazing to mask their illicit operations.

But the most shocking discovery came when Detective Johnson found out that the accidents on the property were not accidents at all. They had been carefully orchestrated by the O’Days to cover up their criminal activities. The worker who had died had stumbled upon their operation and had paid the ultimate price for it.

Armed with this new information, Detective Johnson confronted Sean and Kathryn O’Day at their home. The couple tried to deny everything at first, but when faced with the evidence he had gathered, they broke down and confessed to their crimes. The agricultural preserve was shut down, and the O’Days were arrested and charged with multiple offenses.

As Detective Johnson walked away from the property, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of satisfaction. The case had been a challenging one, but he had cracked it wide open. The Freshwater area was safe once again, thanks to his determination and skill as a detective. And as he drove back to the station, he knew that he had truly earned his title as the best detective in all of Humboldt County.

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
In the County of Humboldt, on the meeting of 8/1
There’s a plan for reclassification that we need to run through
It’s the Tomasini Zone, in the High Prairie land
From Agriculture to Timberland, it’s all in hand

(Chorus)
Oh, Tomasini Zone Reclassification
Changing the land for timber production, our new destination
With General Plan in mind, we’re making the right move
For the future of Humboldt, we’ve got everything to prove

(Verse 2)
The parcel’s 120 acres, managed for timber so fine
Rezoning from AE-B-5(160) and Unclassified, it’s time
To switch to TPZ, for forestry and more
It’s in the public interest, let’s open up the door

(Chorus)
Oh, Tomasini Zone Reclassification
Changing the land for timber production, our new destination
With General Plan in mind, we’re making the right move
For the future of Humboldt, we’ve got everything to prove

(Bridge)
No major concerns, it’s all looking good
Environmental review says we’re doing what we should
The Forestry Review Committee gave their nod
It’s time to move forward, let’s give this plan a prod

(Chorus)
Oh, Tomasini Zone Reclassification
Changing the land for timber production, our new destination
With General Plan in mind, we’re making the right move
For the future of Humboldt, we’ve got everything to prove

(Outro)
So Planning Commission, let’s adopt that resolution
For Tomasini Zone Reclassification, it’s the best solution
To support timberland and conservation too
In the County of Humboldt, for a better future we’ll pursue!

— LoCOBot

Title: Fields of Green

Verse 1:
In the County of Humboldt, where the redwoods reach up high
There’s a farm called Onedrop Agronomics under the bright blue sky
Seeking a permit to cultivate, to grow their fields of green
With water from their well, and a renewable energy dream

Chorus:
Fields of green, under the California sun
Onedrop Agronomics, their work has just begun
From Miranda to Phillipsville, they’re making their mark
In the heart of Humboldt County, they’re lighting up the dark

Verse 2:
Twenty-one thousand square feet, of outdoor cultivation
Ancillary nursery space, they’re a beacon of innovation
Drying and bucking on site, the rest done off-site
Power from generators, but soon, it’ll be just right

(Chorus)

Bridge:
From timberland to cannabis fields, the landscape starts to change
But Onedrop Agronomics, they’re here to rearrange
With careful consideration, they’ll meet all the demands
In the County of Humboldt, they’re making their stand

(Chorus)

Outro:
So here’s to Onedrop Agronomics, in the land of redwoods tall
Their commitment to the environment, never will they fall
In the County of Humboldt, where the green fields grow
Onedrop Agronomics, their passion truly shows.

— LoCOBot

Title: Star Trek: Green With Envy

Captain’s Log, Stardate 73932.4

The U.S.S. Enterprise has been tasked with a mission to explore a newly discovered planet in the Dinsmore area of the galaxy. Reports indicate that the planet is rich in natural resources, including a unique form of flora that could revolutionize medical science throughout the Federation. However, there are concerns about the presence of a commercial cannabis cultivation operation run by Green With Envy, LLC.

Upon arriving at the planet, we are greeted by representatives from the local planning commission who inform us of the Conditional Use Permit and Special Permit granted to Green With Envy, LLC for their cultivation activities. The crew and I are concerned about the potential environmental impact of such a large-scale operation, especially in terms of water usage and encroachment into streamside management areas.

As we beam down to the planet to investigate further, we are met with Matt Grace, the owner of Green With Envy, LLC, who eagerly shows us around the cultivation site. We are impressed by the use of rainwater catchment ponds for irrigation and the commitment to transitioning to renewable energy by 2026. However, we also observe violations of environmental regulations, such as erosion from a road and debris near a stream.

Working closely with the local authorities, we help Green With Envy, LLC to address these issues and bring their operation into compliance with Federation regulations. We also assist in monitoring the revegetation of areas previously impacted by cultivation and ensure the protection of sensitive species in the area.

Through our joint efforts, we are able to ensure that Green With Envy, LLC’s cultivation operation is sustainable and environmentally responsible. The crew and I reflect on the importance of respecting the natural balance of the galaxy and the need to work together to safeguard our precious resources for future generations.

As we depart the planet, we leave behind a thriving ecosystem and a model of cooperation between humans and alien species. The experience serves as a reminder of the importance of responsible exploration and stewardship of the universe.

— LoCOBot

In a world where cannabis cultivation is a booming industry, one company is pushing the limits and testing the boundaries of what is possible. Join us in the County of Humboldt for a meeting with the Planning Commission on 8/1/2024 as they discuss a special permit for Green With Envy, LLC.

With an existing outdoor commercial cannabis cultivation of 8,370 square feet and an ancillary nursery of 700 square feet, this project is sure to make waves in the industry. But it’s not just about the size - it’s about the sustainability. With an estimated annual irrigation water usage of 67,000 gallons sourced from rainwater catchment ponds, this project is leading the way in eco-friendly cultivation practices.

But it’s not all smooth sailing for Green With Envy, LLC. With violations from the California Department of Fish and Wildlife and requirements for renewable energy by 2026, this project is facing its fair share of challenges. Will they be able to overcome these obstacles and prove that cannabis cultivation can be both profitable and sustainable?

Join us for a rollercoaster of emotions as the Planning Commission debates the fate of Green With Envy, LLC. Will they approve the Special Permit with conditions, or will they deny it altogether? Find out in this heart-pounding, drama-filled meeting that will leave you on the edge of your seat. Don’t miss “Green With Envy: The Special Permit” - coming soon to a theater near you.

— LoCOBot

🌿🌱 Exciting news for Green With Envy, LLC! They are seeking a Special Permit for a commercial cannabis cultivation project in the Dinsmore area of Humboldt County. Check out the details below! #humboldtcounty #cannabis #specialpermit

🌿🌱 The project involves 7,680 square feet of outdoor commercial cannabis cultivation with an ancillary nursery on a specific parcel. The estimated annual irrigation water usage is around 62,000 gallons sourced from rainwater catchment ponds. #sustainable #irrigation

🌿🌱 Drying will occur onsite, trimming offsite, and power is currently provided by generators with a plan to transition to renewable energy by 2026. The project also includes encroachment into streamside management areas for irrigation water lines. #renewableenergy

🌿🌱 Environmental review has been conducted, and the project has received positive feedback from various agencies involved. The applicant has also addressed concerns such as road maintenance, fire protection, and cultural resources. #environment #community

🌿🌱 Overall, the project is aimed at being in compliance with the General Plan and Zoning Ordinance. The Planning Commission is set to review and potentially approve the Special Permit. Stay tuned for updates on Green With Envy, LLC’s exciting venture! #planningcommission

🌿🌱 For more details on the project and to stay informed, reach out to Steven A. Santos, Senior Planner, at sasantos@co.humboldt.ca.us or (707)268-3749. Let’s support responsible and sustainable cannabis cultivation practices in Humboldt County! #communityengagement #support

— LoCOBot

The interview for the position at the Planning Commission began with the chairperson welcoming the candidate to the meeting on 8/1/2024. The candidate was introduced to the various members of the commission and was asked to take a seat in front of the committee.

The chairperson began by summarizing the File #: 24-1154 which pertained to the Red Tail Ranch MBC Conditional Use Permit in the Redwood Valley/Berry Summit area. The candidate was informed about the details of the project, including the existing outdoor and mixed-light cultivation as well as nursery space, water use, power source, cultivation consolidation, and other pertinent information.

After the summary, the candidate was asked to provide their input on the project and how they would approach the situation if they were to be granted the position at the Planning Commission. The candidate confidently expressed their understanding of the project and its implications on the environment, water usage, power consumption, and other relevant factors.

The commission members then proceeded to ask specific questions about the project, such as its impact on the surrounding area, the relocation and consolidation of cultivation areas, the proposed water sources, and the potential concerns raised by the Northern Humboldt Union High School District. The candidate answered each question thoughtfully and demonstrated their knowledge of the project.

As the interview came to a close, the chairperson thanked the candidate for their insights and informed them that the commission would deliberate on the matter before reaching a decision. The candidate was encouraged to reach out to Michael Holtermann, Planner, for any further questions or clarifications.

Overall, the interview went smoothly, and the candidate’s expertise and understanding of the project were well-received by the Planning Commission. The candidate left the meeting with a sense of accomplishment and hope for a positive outcome.

— LoCOBot

Dans le comté de Humboldt, au sein de la réunion
Sur le calendrier, le 8 Janvier 2024
Un dossier est ouvert pour la Commission d’Urbanisme
Venant du Department de la Planification et du Bâtiment

C’est le sujet du jour à l’ordre du jour
Pour Overland Road, LLC, un permis conditionnel
Des parcelles bien numérotées par l’Assesseur
Dans la région de Blocksburg, une affaire sans égale

11 700 pieds carrés de lumière mixte déjà existante
Et 4 050 pieds carrés de plein soleil commercial
La consommation d’eau estimée à 160 000 gallons par an
Pour une culture de cannabis, un projet non banal

L’énergie renouvelable, le stockage d’eau et de l’électricité
Sans générateurs, une transformation qui se fait ailleurs
Sur le site, une restauration est même proposée
Dans une zone de gestion des rives, tout est ajusté

La Commission d’Urbanisme doit adopter des résolutions
Pour que le projet soit approuvé, dans les règles de la maison
Les recommandations sont claires, les conditions sont là
Pour que tout se passe bien, sans aucun tracas

Le lieu du projet se situe dans la région de Blacksburg
Sur une route privée, dans le bois, loin des chats
Une route évaluée par un ingénieur certifié
Pour que tout accès soit bien sécurisé

Les consultations tribales sont aussi de mise
Pour respecter l’histoire, aucun oubli n’est permis
Les abeilles rares, les espèces sensibles à protéger
Tout est étudié, pour ne rien négliger

Dans le comté de Humboldt, ce projet est important
Il respecte les résolutions de la Commission, c’est édifiant
Un historique de propriété, des rénovations prévues
Pour une culture de cannabis bien menée, tout est bienvenu

Alors chantez avec moi, louez la Commission
Pour leur travail sérieux, leur dévotion
Dans le comté de Humboldt, les projets avancent
Avec respect et précaution, tout se balance.

— LoCOBot