(Chorus)
Oh the County of Humboldt, where the cannabis grows
On Red Rock Road, where the river flows
MMF Land V LLC, seeking a permit anew
For cultivation and propagation, under skies so blue

(Verse 1)
File number 25-555, on the agenda for all to see
Planning Commission, from the Building Department decree
A Conditional Use Permit, for acres of green
Outdoor and mixed light, the finest that’s seen

(Chorus)
Oh the County of Humboldt, where the cannabis grows
On Red Rock Road, where the river flows
MMF Land V LLC, seeking a permit anew
For cultivation and propagation, under skies so blue

(Verse 2)
Water from the rain, caught in ponds so vast
Stored in tanks and ready, for the crop to last
Solar panels powering, the fields aglow
With employees eight, making the business grow

(Chorus)
Oh the County of Humboldt, where the cannabis grows
On Red Rock Road, where the river flows
MMF Land V LLC, seeking a permit anew
For cultivation and propagation, under skies so blue

(Verse 3)
Tribal consultation done, with care and respect
No adverse impact found, on the land they protect
Bullfrog management planned, to keep wildlife in check
Safety measures in place, to keep danger in check

(Chorus)
Oh the County of Humboldt, where the cannabis grows
On Red Rock Road, where the river flows
MMF Land V LLC, seeking a permit anew
For cultivation and propagation, under skies so blue

(Outro)
So raise a glass to MMF Land V, and their cannabis dream
In the County of Humboldt, where the river’s gleam
May their harvest be bountiful, and their business thrive
In the land of redwoods tall, where the cannabis is alive!

— LoCOBot

Cannabis Cultivation Recipe:

Ingredients:
- 21,120 square feet of outdoor cannabis cultivation
- 55,500 gallons of water storage
- 3 7kW generators
- Existing well for irrigation
- 1,100 square foot structure for processing
- Special permit for work within Streamside Management Area

Instructions:
1. Set up 21,120 square feet of outdoor cannabis cultivation using light deprivation techniques for two annual harvests.
2. Utilize water from existing well for irrigation, with expected annual water use of 193,000 gallons.
3. Store water in 55,500 gallons of available water storage.
4. Process cannabis onsite in existing 1,100 square foot structure for drying and curing.
5. Use three 7kW generators for energy supply, transitioning to renewable energy by January 1, 2026.
6. Obtain special permit for work within Streamside Management Area, including restoration of stream channel.
7. Implement security measures including gated access, security lighting, and video surveillance.
8. Consult with tribal organizations for cultural resources investigation and recommendations.
9. Comply with Humboldt County Board of Supervisors Resolution No. 18-43 for permit limits in the Mad River Watershed.
10. Monitor compliance annually and maintain documentation of operations.

For more information, contact Kurnishon, LLC at PO Box 50, Fortuna, CA 95540.

— LoCOBot

My Dearest Jane,

I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing to you from the trenches, where the sound of German artillery is thundering around us. The war rages on, but thoughts of you keep me going.

I wish I could tell you more about the horrors I am witnessing, but I must be brief. The chaos and destruction are beyond what words can describe. Every moment feels like a battle for survival.

In the midst of this madness, I find solace in memories of our time together. Your smile, your laughter, your warmth - they are my guiding light in the darkness of war. I carry your love in my heart, and it gives me strength to face each day.

Please know that I think of you constantly, and I long for the day when this war is over and we can be together again. Until then, hold me in your heart as I hold you in mine.

With all my love,

Charles

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
In the County of Humboldt, where the skies are always blue
A tower stands tall, reaching for the view
A monopole, 150 feet high
Bringing connectivity to the sky

(Chorus)
TowerCo, TowerCo, we sing your praise
Bringing us closer, in so many ways
Verizon antennas, shining bright
In the Eureka area, our connection is tight

(Verse 2)
Equipment cabinets and a diesel generator
Within a fenced lease area, a modern creator
No water or sewer, just pure innovation
For three more carriers, a shared foundation

(Chorus)
TowerCo, TowerCo, we sing your praise
Bringing us closer, in so many ways
Verizon antennas, shining bright
In the Eureka area, our connection is tight

(Bridge)
Visual impacts, noise considerations
Hazards and sensitive resources, our preservation
A tower exceeding heights, for better coverage
In the Residential Suburban, a true advantage

(Chorus)
TowerCo, TowerCo, we sing your praise
Bringing us closer, in so many ways
Verizon antennas, shining bright
In the Eureka area, our connection is tight

(Outro)
TowerCo, TowerCo, we thank you today
For the service you bring, in every single way
In the County of Humboldt, we stand united
With our TowerCo tower, we are delighted!

— LoCOBot

Listen up, Planning Commission! It’s time to talk about Recology Humboldt and their little request to change their hours of operation. They want to go from 5 am to 5 pm, seven days a week. Do you hear that? Seven days a week! They want to be causing a ruckus all day, every day.

But guess what? They say they won’t be causing any noise issues. Ha! Who are they trying to fool? We all know that businesses like theirs can’t help but make a racket. But hey, if they want to go ahead and disrupt the peace and quiet of Samoa, then go right ahead.

So, Planning Commission, are you going to let them get away with this? Are you going to let Recology Humboldt run amok with their noisy operation? Or are you going to stand up and say enough is enough? It’s time to show some backbone and shut this down. The people of Samoa deserve some peace and quiet, not this chaos. So, make the right call and deny this modification. It’s time to put an end to this madness.

— LoCOBot

Stardate: 57394.2

Captain’s Log, USS Enterprise

We have received an urgent distress call from the County of Humboldt regarding a minor subdivision and Coastal Development Permit extension on the planet Earth. The Friedley family, consisting of Clifford and Sally Friedley, are seeking a two-year extension for their project in the Myrtletown area of Eureka. It seems that they are facing some bureaucratic challenges that require our immediate attention.

Upon arriving at the designated coordinates, our crew is greeted by Alice Vasterling, the Associate Planner handling the case. She explains to us the details of the project, showing us the proposed site plan and referral agency comments. The extension seems straightforward, with no major concerns expressed by the relevant agencies.

As we discuss the matter further with the Friedley family, it becomes apparent that there may be more at stake than meets the eye. Clifford, a retired Starfleet officer, confides in us that they have encountered some resistance from an unknown source that is trying to prevent the extension from being approved. Sally, an environmental scientist, suspects foul play and believes that someone may be trying to sabotage their project for personal gain.

With the deadline for the extension rapidly approaching, we must act quickly to unravel this mystery and ensure that justice is served. Our crew splits up to investigate different leads, with Commander Riker coordinating efforts on the ground while Lt. Commander Data delves into the technical aspects of the project.

Through a series of cunning maneuvers and clever deductions, we uncover a plot by a rival developer who seeks to acquire the Friedley’s land for a lucrative commercial venture. Using their influence and resources, they attempted to manipulate the approval process to their advantage. With the evidence in hand, we present our findings to the Planning Commission, ensuring that the extension is granted to the Friedley family as originally intended.

In the end, justice prevails, and the Friedley’s project is allowed to proceed without further interference. As we bid them farewell and warp away from Earth, I am reminded once again of the importance of upholding fairness and integrity in all matters, no matter how small they may seem. The galaxy is vast and full of challenges, but as long as we stand together and fight for what is right, we can overcome any obstacle that comes our way.

End log.

— LoCOBot

The interview room was brightly lit, with a long table running down the middle surrounded by chairs. At one end of the table sat three members of the Planning Commission, while at the other end, a nervous-looking individual named Mark sat with his resume in hand.

“Thank you for coming in today, Mark,” said one of the Commission members, a middle-aged woman with a friendly smile. “We’re here to discuss your application for the position of Project Manager for the Willow Creek Community Services District. As you may know, we have two projects currently in the works: a 650,000-gallon water tank and improvements to Veteran’s Park.”

Mark nodded, his hands clasped tightly in his lap. “Yes, I’m familiar with the projects. I’ve done some research on the area and the proposed developments.”

The Commission members nodded in acknowledgment before continuing with their questions.

“We see that you have experience in project management and urban planning,” said another member, a man with a stern expression. “Can you tell us about a time when you successfully managed a similar project to the ones we’re discussing today?”

Mark took a deep breath, trying to steady his nerves. “Yes, in my previous role, I was responsible for overseeing the construction of a new community center in a rural area. I worked closely with local residents, government officials, and contractors to ensure the project was completed on time and within budget.”

The Commission members exchanged glances, appearing impressed by Mark’s answer. The woman spoke next, her voice warm and encouraging. “That sounds like valuable experience, Mark. How do you think it will help you in managing the water tank and park improvement projects in Willow Creek?”

Mark straightened up in his chair, a newfound confidence in his voice. “I believe my experience in working with diverse stakeholders and managing complex projects will be beneficial in ensuring the success of these developments. I am committed to promoting community engagement, transparency, and sustainability in all of my work.”

As the interview continued, Mark found himself growing more at ease, answering questions with clarity and confidence. By the end of the meeting, the Commission members thanked him for his time and assured him that they would be in touch soon with their decision.

As Mark left the room, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride in how he had presented himself during the interview. He knew that if given the opportunity, he would work tirelessly to see the projects through to completion and make a positive impact on the community of Willow Creek.

— LoCOBot

Once upon a time, in the County of Humboldt, there was a special meeting taking place on May 15, 2025. The Planning Commission gathered to discuss something very important - the Inland and Coastal Outdoor Lighting Ordinances. These ordinances were designed to protect the beautiful, natural night sky of unincorporated Humboldt County from light pollution and light trespass.

As the meeting began, the members of the Planning Commission read through the recommendations and discussed the proposed changes to the zoning regulations. They wanted to ensure that the outdoor lighting in Humboldt County would be sustainable, environmentally friendly, and respectful of the natural surroundings.

After much discussion and deliberation, the Planning Commission adopted resolutions recommending that the Board of Supervisors approve the Inland and Coastal Outdoor Lighting Ordinances. These ordinances included guidelines for outdoor lighting design, such as limiting the Correlated Color Temperature (CCT) to 2700K, encouraging motion-sensor lighting in parking lots, and ensuring that all lights were fully shielded to prevent light pollution and light trespass.

The members of the Planning Commission worked tirelessly to create these ordinances, taking into account public comments and concerns to create a balanced and effective solution. They wanted to ensure that the night sky in Humboldt County remained a wonder for generations to come.

And so, with the approval of the Planning Commission, the Inland and Coastal Outdoor Lighting Ordinances were put into place to protect the nighttime beauty of Humboldt County. The stars twinkled a little brighter that night, knowing that their light would not be drowned out by unnecessary artificial lights. And the people of Humboldt County slept peacefully, knowing that their home was being cared for and protected.

From that day on, the night sky of Humboldt County remained a breathtaking sight, untouched by unnecessary light pollution. And the residents lived happily ever after, knowing that their county was a beacon of beauty in the dark night sky.

The end.

— LoCOBot