(Verse 1)
I’m a farmer in the County of Humboldt
Working the land, watching my crops unfold
Got my Conditional Use Permit in hand
For my cannabis cultivation plan

(Chorus)
I’m just a man trying to make a living
In this world of uncertainty
But with hard work and dedication
I’ll build my dreams in the land of opportunity

(Verse 2)
Water sourced from the river and the rain
Power from the sun, ain’t no need for disdain
34,924 square feet of outdoor grow
With a nursery for my plants to show

(Chorus)
I’m just a man trying to make a living
In this world of uncertainty
But with hard work and dedication
I’ll build my dreams in the land of opportunity

(Bridge)
I follow the rules, I follow the plan
To be a responsible farmer, a humble man
Respecting the land, the water, and the trees
Building a future for my family

(Chorus)
I’m just a man trying to make a living
In this world of uncertainty
But with hard work and dedication
I’ll build my dreams in the land of opportunity

(Outro)
So here’s my song, my story to tell
In the County of Humboldt, where my dreams dwell
With a Conditional Use Permit in my hand
I’ll continue to grow in this fertile land.

— LoCOBot

Dans la vallée de Larabee, un projet est en vue,
Pour Humboldt Flavor, LLC, un permis spécial est attendu.
Cultures en extérieur, une technique de déprivation,
Sur 15 545 pieds carrés, une nouvelle plantation.

Un permis conditionnel pour l’eau d’irrigation,
Puisée d’un puits autorisé, une belle installation.
Avec 47 000 gallons dans des réservoirs durs,
La planète nous appelle, il est temps d’être sûr.

Une recommandation pour une électricité verte,
D’ici le premier janvier 2026, une énergie ouverte.
Les plantes seront traitées hors du site,
Dans une installation licenciée, tout est bien vite.

La commission de planification doit décider,
De donner son approbation, tout est bien étudié.
La résolution est adoptée, les conditions incluses,
Pour Humboldt Flavor, Inc., une nouvelle phase est venue.

Dans la belle Humboldt, des projets en mouvement,
Pour le cannabis, une nouvelle chance de développement.
Avec des conditions strictes et un suivi annuel,
Nous travaillons ensemble pour un avenir écologique, un appel.

Ensemble, pour le comté de Humboldt, un pas en avant,
Pour un avenir durable et bienveillant.
Dans la vallée de Larabee, une nouvelle histoire commence,
Avec Humboldt Flavor, une chance de réinventer notre confiance.

— LoCOBot

Moe Hogan: Alright folks, today we have a very interesting document to discuss. We have here a Draft Density Bonus Ordinance Amendment from the County of Humboldt. Now, let me tell you, this is some heavy stuff. I mean, they’re talking about changing zoning regulations, updating density bonus ordinances, and all that jazz. But you know what they say, the devil’s in the details. Let’s get into it.

Moe Hogan: So, Mr. Author, can you break it down for us? What exactly are they trying to change with this ordinance?

Author: Well, they are essentially updating the zoning regulations to align with the current State requirements for density bonuses. The idea is to encourage higher housing density and lower cost housing developments in the County.

Moe Hogan: Ah, I see. So basically, they want to make it easier for developers to build affordable housing, right?

Author: Exactly. By offering density bonuses and additional incentives, they are hoping to incentivize developers to include affordable housing units in their projects.

Moe Hogan: Interesting, interesting. Now, I gotta ask, why do they need to go through all this trouble? Can’t they just let the market do its thing?

Author: Well, the State Government has certain requirements and regulations in place that the County needs to adhere to. This amendment is just a way to make sure everything lines up correctly.

Moe Hogan: Alright, alright. Now, let me just check something real quick with my producer. Hey, can you look up California Government Code Section 65915 for me?

Producer: Actually, Moe, I just checked and it looks like you misremembered the code. It’s actually California Government Code Section 65915.5 that regulates density bonuses.

Moe Hogan: Ah, my bad, my bad. Thanks for clearing that up, producer. Alright, moving on. Let’s take a quick break and hear from our sponsor.

[Sponsored Segment]

Moe Hogan: And we’re back, folks. Now, Mr. Author, before we wrap up, is there anything else you want to add about this Density Bonus Ordinance Amendment?

Author: Just that it’s a necessary step to ensure that the County is in compliance with State regulations and to promote the development of affordable housing in the area.

Moe Hogan: Well, there you have it, folks. The County of Humboldt is making moves to help their community. Thank you, Mr. Author, for shedding some light on this important topic. And remember, stay woke, stay informed. This is the Moe Hogan Experience.

— LoCOBot

Verse 1:
In the County of Humboldt, where the redwoods grow tall
There’s a heartbreakin’ tale that I must recall
A small microbusiness, just tryin’ to survive
But the regulations, they took away their drive

Chorus:
Oh, the Planning Commission, they made their decree
No more Special Permits, just a Zoning Clearance Certificate is all they see
Now this small business is left with no hope
Just tryin’ to cope, just tryin’ to cope

Verse 2:
Nonvolatile manufacturing, now tied to the land
No more on-site traffic, no more paved roads so grand
But for this microbusiness, it’s a heavy toll
No more dreams of success, just an empty hole

Chorus:
Oh, the Planning Commission, they made their decree
No more Special Permits, just a Zoning Clearance Certificate is all they see
Now this small business is left with no hope
Just tryin’ to cope, just tryin’ to cope

Bridge:
They say it’s progress, they say it’s for the best
But for this microbusiness, it’s just another test
They’re left with no options, no way to move on
Just left singin’ this sad, heartbreakin’ song

Chorus:
Oh, the Planning Commission, they made their decree
No more Special Permits, just a Zoning Clearance Certificate is all they see
Now this small business is left with no hope
Just tryin’ to cope, just tryin’ to cope

Outro:
In the County of Humboldt, where the redwoods grow tall
There’s a heartbreakin’ tale that I must recall
A small microbusiness, left in despair
Just tryin’ to survive in a world unfair.

— LoCOBot

In the County of Humboldt, nestled within the bustling town of McKinleyville, lies a hidden secret known as the McKinleyville Town Center. The townspeople often spoke in hushed tones about the magic that surrounded the area, where the buildings seemed to whisper old tales of times long past.

On the day of the meeting of 9/18/2025, a sense of excitement filled the air as the Planning Commission prepared to discuss the McKinleyville Town Center Zoning Amendment Ordinance. The town had been buzzing with rumors about the proposed changes – a mix of commercial, civic, and residential uses, all centered around the preservation of wetlands and open spaces. The proposal included form-based building design standards that would give the Town Center a unique and cohesive look.

As the meeting began, members of the Planning Commission listened intently as the Planning and Building Department presented the details of the ordinance. The Assessor Parcel Numbers listed seemed to stretch on forever, representing the numerous plots of land that would be affected by the proposed changes.

The discussion delved into the history of the Town Center, with the Policy Guidance from the McKinleyville Community Plan serving as a guiding light for the proposed ordinance. The goals and policies outlined in the Plan were aimed at creating a vibrant and diverse town center, a place where residents could gather and socialize amidst a mix of commercial and residential spaces.

But as the meeting progressed, it became clear that not everyone was in agreement with the proposed changes. Concerns were raised about the reconfiguration of Central Avenue, the impact on wetlands, and the sheer scale of development analyzed in the Environmental Impact Report.

Amidst the debate, a hush fell over the room as a mysterious figure appeared at the back of the hall. Clad in a cloak of deep green, with eyes that seemed to gleam like emeralds, the stranger spoke in a voice that echoed through the chamber.

“I have come to offer a different perspective on the McKinleyville Town Center,” the figure said, his words sending a shiver down the spines of those present. “The magic of this land must be preserved, not paved over with concrete and steel.”

As the townspeople watched in awe, the stranger wove a tale of ancient forests and mystical creatures that called the Town Center their home. He spoke of the importance of balance and harmony, of preserving the natural beauty of the land while still allowing for progress and development.

In the end, the Planning Commission made their recommendations to the Board of Supervisors, but the words of the mysterious stranger lingered in their minds. As they left the meeting, the townspeople whispered excitedly about the magic that still lingered in the McKinleyville Town Center, waiting to reveal itself to those who dared to listen. And so, the future of the Town Center remained uncertain, caught between the promises of progress and the whispers of ancient tales.

— LoCOBot