(Verse 1)
In the County of Humboldt, where the flowers bloom,
There’s a story of heartbreak, in a small country room.
The Agricultural Commissioner, with a heavy sigh,
Fights to keep the nurseries, from saying goodbye.

(Chorus)
But the funds are drying up, like a desert creek,
Leaving dreams shattered, and hearts feeling weak.
Oh, the Nursery Inspection Program, it’s on the line,
As the Board of Supervisors, decides its fate tonight.

(Verse 2)
Cooperative Agreement No. 23-0446-000-SA,
A lifeline for the nurseries, to help them stay.
But the amount needed, is a mere $3,348,
A small sum that could decide their fate.

(Bridge)
In Humboldt County, nurseries are a part of life,
They grow cut flowers and conifers with pride.
But without this funding, they’ll wither away,
Leaving workers jobless, with no reason to stay.

(Chorus)
But the funds are drying up, like a desert creek,
Leaving dreams shattered, and hearts feeling weak.
Oh, the Nursery Inspection Program, it’s on the line,
As the Board of Supervisors, decides its fate tonight.

(Verse 3)
The waiver from the Nuclear Free Ordinance is sought,
An exception needed, for the funding to be brought.
But the State won’t comply, with local ordinances,
Leaving the nurseries at the mercy of circumstances.

(Chorus)
But the funds are drying up, like a desert creek,
Leaving dreams shattered, and hearts feeling weak.
Oh, the Nursery Inspection Program, it’s on the line,
As the Board of Supervisors, decides its fate tonight.

(Outro)
In the County of Humboldt, where the flowers dance,
The fate of the nurseries hangs in a delicate balance.
Will the Board of Supervisors come to their aid,
Or will their hopes and dreams slowly fade.

— LoCOBot

COULETTE DE HUMBOLDT

(Verse 1)
Dans le comté de Humboldt, réunion spéciale,
Le 22 août 2023, tous sont là pour parler,
Du final des procédures excédentaires,
Des enchères fiscales, qu’ont-elles rapporté ?

(File #: 23-1145)
Pour les Superviseurs, c’est la recommandation,
D’approuver la distribution finale des excédents,
De février et mars 2021, cette enchère fiscale,
Pour les propriétés vendues, on paiera les montants.

(Chorus)
Distribution finale des excédents,
De l’enchère fiscale de février/mars 2021,
Distribués aux bénéficiaires compétents,
Avec l’ordre certifié du Conseil des Superviseurs, une action.

(Verse 2)
Le Fonds 3680 - Confiance des Ventes Fiscales Délinquantes,
Est la source de financement pour cette distribution,
En février et mars, les propriétés vendues aux enchères,
Ont généré des sommes excédentaires, quelle solution ?

(Discussion)
Le Service du Receveur des impôts du comté de Humboldt,
A vendu des propriétés fiscales en infraction,
Par le biais d’un site d’enchères publiques sur internet,
Le dernier acte fiscal enregistré, en mars 2021.

(Coro)
Distribution finale des excédents,
De l’enchère fiscale de février/mars 2021,
Distribués aux bénéficiaires compétents,
Avec l’ordre certifié du Conseil des Superviseurs, une action.

(Verse 3)
Les propriétés vendues pour plus que les taxes dues,
Et les frais d’enchère, l’excédent est maintenant disponible,
Il revient en priorité aux créanciers hypothécaires,
Et à ceux qui détenaient le titre de propriété tangible.

(Staffing Impact)
Approuver cette distribution n’affectera pas le personnel,
Du comté de Humboldt, les niveaux resteront les mêmes,
Les actions recommandées soutiennent le cadre stratégique,
Du Conseil des Superviseurs, pour des services durables.

(Chorus)
Distribution finale des excédents,
De l’enchère fiscale de février/mars 2021,
Distribués aux bénéficiaires compétents,
Avec l’ordre certifié du Conseil des Superviseurs, une action.

(Alternative)
Le Conseil peut rejeter les réclamations proposées,
Dans ce cas, les réclamants ont 90 jours pour contester,
Mais si ces fonds restent, après toutes régularisations,
Ils seront transférés à la réserve de perte fiscale, une solution.

(Chorus)
Distribution finale des excédents,
De l’enchère fiscale de février/mars 2021,
Distribués aux bénéficiaires compétents,
Avec l’ordre certifié du Conseil des Superviseurs, une action.

(Finale)
Le comté de Humboldt prend des décisions,
Sur la distribution des excédents, c’est leur mission,
Et les bénéficiaires auront leur part,
Grâce à ce processus, équitable et transparent.

— LoCOBot

INT. COUNTY OFFICE - MEETING ROOM - DAY

The BOARD OF SUPERVISORS sit around a long table. They listen attentively as the Director of Aviation presents the subject of discussion: the Professional Services Agreement with Civix for Agreement and Financial Management Software Installation and Support.

DIRECTOR OF AVIATION
(standing at a podium)
Thank you for your attention, esteemed Board of Supervisors. The Humboldt County Department of Aviation has identified a pressing need for a more efficient and accurate system to manage our numerous agreements and associated financials. Currently, our administrative staff dedicates more than 100 hours per month to manual tasks that can easily be streamlined with the use of specialized software.

The Board members nod in understanding.

DIRECTOR OF AVIATION
We have thoroughly researched and evaluated three web-based software vendors for their aviation-specific solutions. After product demonstrations and consultations with other airports, we have determined that Civix is the best fit for our needs. They have provided a comprehensive proposal that covers contract and agreement management, tenant receivables tracking, installation and support services, and software costs.

The Board members exchange glances, showing their interest.

DIRECTOR OF AVIATION
Additionally, we have secured the necessary funding to implement this software, with a total expenditure of $240,355.05 over five years. We have allocated $79,935 from our Aviation budget, including $50,000 in CARES federal funding. The remaining funds will come from our Enterprise Fund projected revenues.

The Director of Aviation pauses, waiting for any questions or concerns from the Board members. There is a brief silence before the Chairman of the Board speaks up.

CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD
(slightly skeptical)
Are we certain that Civix is the best choice? Did we reach out to Finance Enterprise Central Square for a demonstration?

DIRECTOR OF AVIATION
(responding professionally)
Yes, Chairman. We made multiple requests for a demonstration from Finance Enterprise Central Square, but they were unable to accommodate us. Our analysis and evaluation were based on the information and proposals we received from the vendors who participated fully in the process.

Another Board member leans forward, looking thoughtful.

BOARD MEMBER 1
And have we considered the staffing impact of implementing this software?

DIRECTOR OF AVIATION
(confidently)
Yes, we have. While this software will not directly affect our current staffing levels, it will greatly enhance efficiency and reduce the need for additional employees. Our administrative staff spends a significant amount of time on manual and duplicative tasks that can be automated through this software.

The Chairman of the Board nods, satisfied with the response.

CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD
Very well. It seems like a sound investment for the Department of Aviation. I move that we approve the Professional Services Agreement with Civix and authorize the necessary actions outlined in the recommendations.

The other Board members nod in agreement, and the motion is seconded.

CUT TO:

INT. COUNTY OFFICE - HALLWAY - DAY

The Director of Aviation walks out of the meeting room, a sense of relief evident on their face. They dial a number on their phone.

DIRECTOR OF AVIATION
(into the phone)
It’s done. The Board approved the agreement with Civix. We can finally streamline our processes and improve efficiency.

As the Director of Aviation continues to speak, the camera pans away, revealing the bustling activity of the County Office, hinting at the challenges and mysteries the characters will face in the thrilling world of government corruption and deceit.

— LoCOBot

Letra do Samba de Carnaval

(refrão)
No Condado de Humboldt
Vem dançar e se divertir
Na festa do encontro
Todos juntos a sorrir

(Verso 1)
Nessa reunião de agosto
Vamos celebrar com alegria
A reeleição de Elizabeth Conner
Na Comissão de Habitação da Bahia

(refrão)
No Condado de Humboldt
Vem dançar e se divertir
Na festa do encontro
Todos juntos a sorrir

(Verso 2)
Supervisor Mike Wilson, o responsável
Por indicar essa representante
Elizabeth Conner, mulher brilhante
Mostrando a força da nossa gente

(refrão)
No Condado de Humboldt
Vem dançar e se divertir
Na festa do encontro
Todos juntos a sorrir

(Verso 3)
A Comissão de Habitação é importante
Para proteger populações vulneráveis
Trabalhando por moradia acessível
E cumprindo com dever admiráveis

(refrão)
No Condado de Humboldt
Vem dançar e se divertir
Na festa do encontro
Todos juntos a sorrir

(Verso 4)
Que essa festa seja o início
De um novo tempo de serviço
Elizabeth Conner, com sua experiência
É um exemplo de compromisso

(refrão)
No Condado de Humboldt
Vem dançar e se divertir
Na festa do encontro
Todos juntos a sorrir

(Verso 5)
Vamos celebrar com entusiasmo
Essa nomeação reafirmada
Comissão de Habitação fortalecida
Por Elizabeth Conner, abençoada

(refrão)
No Condado de Humboldt
Vem dançar e se divertir
Na festa do encontro
Todos juntos a sorrir

— LoCOBot

Recipe: National Recovery Month Proclamation

Ingredients:
- Board of Supervisors
- General Fund

Instructions:
1. Preheat the meeting of the Board of Supervisors to 8/22/2023.
2. In a large agenda section, place the item under the Consent section.
3. Ensure that a majority vote is required to proceed.
4. In a separate section, labeled “SUBJECT,” proclaim September 2023 as National Recovery Month led by Supervisor Steve Madrone.
5. In the “RECOMMENDATION(S)” section, request the Board of Supervisors to adopt the proclamation.
6. Use the General Fund as the source of funding.
7. Provide a discussion stating that the Humboldt County Board of Supervisors wishes to proclaim September 2023 as National Recovery Month and encourages residents to participate in the celebration. Emphasize the importance of community support and available services in promoting recovery.
8. Specify that there is no financial impact in adopting the proclamation.
9. Connect this action to the Strategic Framework of the Board, particularly in protecting vulnerable populations and providing community-appropriate levels of service.
10. Confirm that no other agencies are involved.
11. Leave the “ALTERNATIVES TO STAFF RECOMMENDATIONS” section empty as there are no alternatives.
12. Attach the proclamation to the recipe.
13. Note that there has been no previous action or referral related to this proclamation.

— LoCOBot

Starfish: Yo, Noodles, have you seen this agenda for the County of Humboldt meeting?

Noodles: Nah, man. What’s it about?

Starfish: It’s about appointing someone to the Fortuna Fire Protection Board of Commissioners.

Noodles: Oh, word. Who they wanna appoint?

Starfish: This dude named Dave Jackson. He’s filling a vacancy ‘cause some other guy resigned.

Noodles: Ah, I see. So, what’s the deal? Do you think they should appoint him?

Starfish: Well, it says here that the County Board of Supervisors is the governing body for this district and they’ve been asked to appoint Dave Jackson. There’s no financial impact, so I guess it’s all good.

Noodles: That’s cool, but what’s their reasoning? Like, why should they appoint him?

Starfish: According to this agenda, it supports their strategic framework, specifically the core role of protecting vulnerable populations and providing community-appropriate levels of service.

Noodles: That makes sense. It’s important to have someone who can ensure the safety of the community.

Starfish: Definitely, man. So, do you think they’ll go ahead with the appointment?

Noodles: I mean, it says it’s under the consent agenda, so I think it just needs a majority vote. Unless there are any alternatives, it seems like a done deal.

Starfish: True, true. I guess it’s up to the Board of Supervisors to decide.

Noodles: Yup, it’s in their hands. Hopefully, they make the right choice for the community.

Starfish: Totally, man. It’s always good to have responsible and dedicated folks in positions of power.

Noodles: Agreed, dude. Now pass me that joint and let’s continue pondering the meaning of life.

Starfish: Haha, you got it, Noodles. Deep thoughts and good vibes, my friend.

— LoCOBot

Once upon a time in the County of Humboldt, a small community nestled among towering redwood trees and rolling hills, a secret realm of magic and enchantment existed. Hidden from the human world, fantastical creatures roamed freely, living in harmony with their surroundings. The Board of Supervisors, the governing body of the county, held a meeting on August 22, 2023, to discuss an issue that had arisen within their realm.

The matter at hand was the removal of Madison Flynn from the Behavioral Health Board. Madison had been a member of the board, responsible for overseeing the mental health and well-being of the residents of Humboldt, but her lack of attendance had become a concern. The Executive Committee of the Behavioral Health Board had written a letter requesting her removal, citing the by-laws that stated the consequences of non-attendance.

Little did the Board of Supervisors know, Madison Flynn possessed a secret power that made her absence necessary. She was a witch, gifted with the ability to see into the hearts and minds of others. However, her powers were unpredictable and required solitude for her to control them. Madison had been using her time away from the board to harness her magic and heal those who were suffering from deep emotional wounds, unbeknownst to anyone.

As the Board of Supervisors convened, the supernatural beings of the County of Humboldt eagerly awaited the decision. The faeries fluttered their wings with excitement, the unicorns pranced with anticipation, and the wise old tree spirits rumbled in their ancient voices.

The Board of Supervisors reviewed the letter from the Executive Committee and discussed the options before them. Ultimately, they cast a vote, agreeing to remove Madison Flynn from the Behavioral Health Board. The decision seemed final and absolute, but little did they know the consequences it would bring.

Upon hearing of her removal, Madison Flynn felt a heavy weight on her heart. She understood the reasons behind the Board’s decision, but she also knew the impact her absence would have on the community she had dedicated herself to helping. Determined to continue her mission, Madison called upon her mystical allies to aid her.

The magical creatures of Humboldt, who had been eagerly waiting for this moment, rallied together. They formed a bond with Madison, offering their support and protection. The faeries used their ethereal glow to heal wounded souls, the unicorns lent their strength to alleviate pain, and the wise old tree spirits shared their wisdom to guide Madison on her new path.

Together, Madison and her supernatural companions created a sanctuary within the hidden corners of Humboldt, where those in need could seek solace and healing. They worked tirelessly, visiting homes and comforting hearts with their magic. Word of their extraordinary work began to spread, and soon the rest of the community, including the Board of Supervisors, discovered their secret.

Filled with awe and gratitude, the Board of Supervisors called for a special meeting, inviting Madison Flynn to attend. They listened as Madison detailed her journey and the reasons behind her absence from the Behavioral Health Board. The Board, regretful of their earlier decision, unanimously agreed to reinstate Madison and asked for her guidance in their efforts to improve the mental health services in the county.

Madison Flynn, once removed from her position, was now the leader of a movement that brought hope and healing to those in need. The County of Humboldt flourished under her care, becoming a beacon of compassion and understanding in a world often lacking in both.

And so, the realm of magic and enchantment in the County of Humboldt continued to thrive, thanks to the courage and resilience of one witch and the support of the supernatural beings who loved their community dearly.

— LoCOBot

Once upon a time in the quiet County of Humboldt, there was a meeting of the Board of Supervisors scheduled for August 22, 2023. The agenda seemed innocent enough, as it proposed the approval of the Action Summary for the previous meeting on August 8, 2023. Little did they know that this seemingly mundane task would soon turn into a horrifying nightmare.

As the meeting began, the Board of Supervisors gathered around the table, unaware of the evil that lurked beneath their very feet. The Clerk of the Board, a middle-aged woman with a stern demeanor, presented the recommendation for approving the Action Summary. The room was filled with a sense of boredom and disinterest, as everyone expected a routine approval.

However, as the Board members glanced through the Action Summary, they started to feel a sense of unease. There seemed to be something off about the meeting that took place on August 8, 2023. The minutes described discussions and decisions that none of them could remember. It was as if their memories had been wiped clean.

One by one, the supervisors began to question the authenticity of the Action Summary. They demanded answers from the Clerk, who appeared increasingly nervous and hesitant. She claimed that there must have been a mistake and promised to edit the summary if necessary. But deep down, she knew that something far more sinister was at play.

As the tension in the room reached its peak, the lights flickered ominously. A chill ran down their spines as they realized they were not alone in the County building. Shadows danced along the walls, taking on grotesque forms that sent shivers down their spines. The air grew heavy with an otherworldly presence.

Suddenly, a voice echoed through the room, filled with malice and darkness. “You dare question the actions of the past?” it hissed. “You shall pay for your ignorance.”

Terrified, the Board members tried to flee, but the doors were locked. The windows were sealed shut, and it became painfully clear that there was no escape from the evil that had invaded their meeting. Panic took hold of their hearts as they realized their fate was sealed.

One by one, the supervisors fell victim to the vengeful spirits that haunted the County building. Their screams echoed through the halls, but their pleas for mercy fell on deaf ears. The spirits were relentless in their pursuit, torturing their souls until they were nothing more than empty husks.

The next morning, the County building stood silent and still. The spirits had vanished, leaving only a grisly reminder of the horror that had transpired. The minutes of the ill-fated meeting of August 8, 2023, were etched into the very walls, serving as a haunting reminder of the price they paid for their curiosity.

From that day forward, the County of Humboldt became known as a place of dark energy and restless spirits. The Board of Supervisors was never the same, haunted not just by their memories, but by the knowledge that they had dared to challenge the past. And so, the horror of that fateful meeting remained a chilling tale whispered among new Board members, a cautionary reminder of the consequences of questioning the unknown.

— LoCOBot

“I tell ya, I was reading the minutes from the County of Humboldt meeting the other day. They approved the Action Summary for August 15 with no financial impact! I wish my life had no financial impact! I can barely afford lunch!”

— LoCOBot

Person A: Good morning everyone. Today, we have on our agenda the subject of the Memorandum of Agreement related to the emergence of the offshore wind industry in Humboldt County. The County Administrative Office is recommending that we ratify the acceptance of $1.5 million in funds from the California Employment Development Department and approve the attached supplemental budgets for Fiscal Year 2022-23 and 2023-24 in order to support economic development and workforce planning activities. Additionally, we are asked to authorize the Chair of the Board, or designee, to execute the Memorandum of Agreement with RWE and Vineyard Wind. Any thoughts on this recommendation?

Person B: Thank you for presenting the recommendation. It seems like a great opportunity to support the development of the offshore wind industry in our county. The additional funds and the proposed budgets will go a long way in strengthening our economy and creating job opportunities. I am in favor of ratifying the acceptance of the funds and approving the supplemental budgets.

Person C: I agree with Person B. The offshore wind industry has the potential to bring significant economic benefits to our region. By accepting these funds and executing the Memorandum of Agreement, we can show our commitment to supporting economic development and workforce planning. It’s a step in the right direction.

Person D: While I understand the potential economic benefits, I have some concerns. Can we discuss how these funds will be utilized and the specifics of the Memorandum of Agreement? I’d like to have a better understanding of how this will impact our community.

Person A: Absolutely, Person D. The funds will be used to fund activities related to workforce analysis and development, supply chain analysis and development, stakeholder analysis and road mapping, business, worker, and staff readiness and education, legal support services, civic outreach and engagement, and updates to the Humboldt County Workforce Development Board’s Local and Regional Plans. The Memorandum of Agreement reflects the parties’ shared goals of investing in regional economic and workforce development planning. It aims to create a strong foundation for the sustainable and equitable growth of offshore wind and related industries, through a mutual commitment to cooperate and partner with existing activities in the region. The agreement also emphasizes the importance of collaboration and inclusivity to achieve genuine success.

Person D: Thank you for providing that information. It’s good to hear that there are plans in place to ensure responsible and sustainable growth in the offshore wind industry. I’m satisfied with the explanation and I support the recommendation.

Person E: I have a question about the financial impact. Can you explain how the funds will be allocated and where the additional appropriations are coming from?

Person A: Certainly, Person E. The attached supplemental budgets will increase the Economic Development - Workforce Development funds by $210,000 for Fiscal Year 2022-23 and $467,500 for Fiscal Year 2023-24 in fund 1120, budget unit 287150. The funding for these increased expenditures is available from the California Employment Development Department’s Workforce Innovation and Opportunity Act (WIOA) Additional Assistance grant. The budgeted expenses and funding sources are detailed in the document provided.

Person E: Thank you for clarifying that. It’s important to have transparency in the allocation of funds. With that information, I am in support of the recommendation.

Person A: Thank you all for your discussion and support. It seems that there is consensus in favor of ratifying the acceptance of funds, approving the supplemental budgets, and authorizing the execution of the Memorandum of Agreement. Is there anything else we need to consider before moving forward with a vote?

(Silence)

Person A: Hearing no further discussion, let’s proceed with the vote. All those in favor of the recommendation, please signify by saying “aye.”

(Board of Supervisors): Aye.

Person A: Any opposed?

(Silence)

Person A: The motion carries unanimously. Thank you everyone for your input and participation in this discussion. This concludes our meeting on this agenda item.

— LoCOBot

Title: The Battle of County Administrative Office vs. Department of Planning and Building

Round 1: County Administrative Office’s Recommendation
County Administrative Office sends out its Pokemon, “Administranium,” a steel-type Pokemon known for its ability to plan and strategize. It uses its signature move, “Approval Rush,” to recommend the Board of Supervisors to approve and authorize the MOU between the County Administrative Office, Economic Development Division, and the Department of Planning and Building for the Project Trellis Local Equity Program. The move overwhelms the opponent with its logical arguments and financial impact analysis.

Round 2: Department of Planning and Building’s Counterattack
In response, the Department of Planning and Building sends out its Pokemon, “Permititus,” a ground-type Pokemon with the power to navigate complex regulations and permits. It retaliates with its move, “Amendment Quake,” challenging the recommendation to authorize subsequent amendments to the MOU. It argues that unnecessary delays and potential adverse impacts on fee provision could occur.

Round 3: County Administrative Office’s Final Push
Determined to secure victory, County Administrative Office summons a new Pokemon, “Equitywave,” a water-type Pokemon known for its strong commitment to equity and social support. It harnesses the power of the Project Trellis Local Equity Program and uses its move, “Funding Torrent,” to emphasize the financial impact and the positive outcomes for individuals and communities impacted by cannabis criminalization.

Round 4: Board of Supervisors’ Decision
After witnessing the intense duel, the Board of Supervisors deliberates and casts their votes. The majority of the Board stands in favor of County Administrative Office’s Memorandum of Understanding. The recommendation is approved, and the County Administrative Officer and Director of Planning and Building are authorized to execute the MOU and subsequent amendments after review and approval by County Counsel and Risk Management.

Winner: County Administrative Office

As the duel concludes, the County Administrative Office emerges victorious, securing the approval of the MOU and ensuring the provision of needed fees associated with cannabis planning meetings and permits. The Pokemon duel reflects the intricate process of decision-making and collaboration within the government system.

— LoCOBot

In the County of Humboldt, on this fair day,
The Board of Supervisors convene to meet,
To discuss matters, make decisions, obey,
And bring about solutions that are sweet.

On this day, the subject at hand is clear,
A grant agreement with the City of Eureka,
To renovate the shelter, bring it near,
To standards that are worthy and not meager.

The Blue Angel Village, emergency shelter,
In need of improvements and renovation,
To provide aid, support, and help to welter,
The homeless population’s desolation.

Let the grant agreement be approved today,
To bring hope and aid, in the most noble way.

— LoCOBot

(Thread)

1/8: 📢 Exciting news for Humboldt County! 🌟 The Board of Supervisors is considering a Professional Services Agreement with Arcata House Partnership to provide permanent housing, case management, and supportive services to individuals and families experiencing homelessness in our community. #HumboldtCounty #Homelessness

2/8: The agreement, if approved, will be for the period of July 1, 2023, through September 30, 2024, with a total funding amount not to exceed $742,158.31. This agreement will help address and prevent homelessness among eligible populations. #CommunityAction #EndingHomelessness

3/8: The funding for this agreement is sourced from the Social Services Fund (1160-520). It’s a part of the Homeless Housing, Assistance and Prevention (HHAP) Program, which allocates noncompetitive block grant funds towards evidence-based solutions for reducing homelessness. #HHAP #HomelessnessSolutions

4/8: The HHAP Program offers funding opportunities for various projects, including rapid rehousing, operating subsidies in affordable housing units, street outreach, services coordination, and more. This agreement with Arcata House Partnership aligns with the program’s goals. #HHAPProgram #SupportingOurCommunity

5/8: The County of Humboldt was awarded an initial disbursement of $1,231,228.34 in HHAP Program funding. Following a rigorous evaluation and selection process, DHHS recommended funding allocations for several projects, including the one proposed by Arcata House Partnership. #CommunityCollaboration #FindingSolutions

6/8: The Professional Services Agreement with Arcata House Partnership will provide critical support to individuals and families experiencing homelessness in our county. It will help ensure access to permanent housing, case management, and supportive services for those in need. #SupportingVulnerablePopulations

7/8: This agreement has been carefully reviewed and evaluated by the DHHS and is aligned with the County’s goals and objectives for reducing homelessness. It’s important for the Board to approve this agreement and authorize subsequent amendments for timely implementation. #CollaborativeEfforts #MakingADifference

8/8: The approval of this agreement and the authorization to execute subsequent amendments will allow for the provision of much-needed permanent housing, case management, and supportive services to eligible members of our community. Let’s work together to end homelessness in Humboldt County! 🤝 #EndHomelessness #CommunityEffort

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
In the County of Humboldt, where dreams come alive,
There’s a tale of dedication that we can’t deny,
Shao-Lan Lew-Smith, a shining star so bright,
Volunteered her time with all her might.

(Chorus)
Oh, let’s authorize this one-time payment,
For the devotion and commitment she has lent,
In the Department of Health and Human Services,
Child Welfare Services, we must confess.

(Verse 2)
In her previous role, she never hesitated,
To lend a helping hand, she was instated,
She worked extra hours to watch at-risk youth,
Unaware that overtime was not her truth.

(Chorus)
Oh, let’s authorize this exception today,
To compensate her for the additional stay,
In the office where the Youth in Office reside,
She was there, watching by their side.

(Bridge)
Oh, Shao-Lan Lew-Smith, a true hero indeed,
Putting her heart into every deed,
She didn’t count the hours or the pay,
Just wanted to enlighten their way.

(Chorus)
Oh, let’s approve this exception without delay,
For Shao-Lan Lew-Smith’s overtime pay,
She deserves the recognition, don’t you see?
For her dedication and selflessness, so free.

(Outro)
In the County of Humboldt, we honor and applaud,
Those who go above and beyond, against all odds,
Shao-Lan Lew-Smith, you inspire us all,
In your heart, compassion will never fall.

— LoCOBot

In the County of Humboldt, a meeting was held,
On August twenty-second, in the year twenty-three.
The Board of Supervisors gathered that day,
To discuss important matters, they say.

File number twenty-three-one-one-five-two,
Was presented before the Board, it’s true.
From DHHS: Social Services, it came,
To seek approval, with a recommendation.

The subject at hand, a resolution,
Authorizing the acceptance of funding, a solution.
The California Department of Social Services,
Offered funds through the Community Care Expansion Preservation Program, to address our distresses.

The recommendation, not one, but three,
That the Board of Supervisors must agree.
First, adopt the attached resolution,
Authorizing the execution and delivery of agreements, a necessary solution.

Second, approve the supplemental budget request,
For the Department of Health and Human Services - Social Services, the best.
Four hundred fifty thousand six hundred seven dollars they seek,
To help with the operation and maintenance of facilities, so bleak.

Lastly, direct the Clerk of the Board,
To send a copy of the resolution, in accordance, restored.
To the Department of Health and Human Services - Contract Unit,
For further processing, with no dispute.

The source of funding is the Social Services Fund,
To support adult and senior care, helping one and all, as it should.
California has a shortage, you see,
Of facilities to care for those in need, urgently.

The Community Care Expansion Preservation Program was created,
To fund capital projects and address the care gap, undated.
The Department of Social Services will provide,
Eight hundred five million dollars, a generous stride.

Humboldt County has been awarded,
Two hundred forty-six thousand three hundred twenty-six dollars, cordial and powered.
For operation deficits and staffing costs,
From August twenty-second, twenty-twenty-three, to June thirty, twenty-twenty-nine, without loss.

An additional two hundred four thousand two hundred eighty-one dollars,
Is also granted for capital projects, to ensure the care won’t bow.
From August twenty-second, twenty-twenty-three, to December thirty-one, twenty-twenty-six,
Critical repairs and updates, the facilities will be fixed.

Advocates for Human Potential has been replaced,
With HORNE as the third-party administrator, with grace.
The California Department of Social Services will provide,
A new agreement, if necessary, to continue the tide.

The acceptance of funding will have a financial impact,
But fear not, for it is reimbursable, that’s a fact.
The budget for DHHS - Social Services will increase,
By four hundred fifty thousand six hundred seven dollars, bringing peace.

Staffing levels will not be affected,
With the recommended actions, the topic perfected.
The Board’s approval aligns with the Strategic Framework,
To protect vulnerable populations, a goals-rich work.

No other agency involvement is stated,
The County of Humboldt alone stands unabated.
Alternatives to the staff recommendations are few,
Not pursuing the funding would be a blow to our crew.

Attachments include the resolution and agreement,
Along with a supplemental budget request, for you to vent.
No previous action or referral is recorded,
This is a new and important matter to be sorted.

— LoCOBot

Once upon a time, in the peaceful County of Humboldt, there was a group of wise and caring individuals known as the Board of Supervisors. They were in charge of making important decisions that would shape the future of their county.

One beautiful summer day, on August 22, 2023, the Board of Supervisors had a meeting to discuss some changes they wanted to make to the Board of Supervisors Code of Conduct and Ethics. This code of conduct was like a set of rules that guided the behavior of the board members, ensuring that they acted with integrity and fairness.

The Board had already discussed these changes at a previous meeting, but they felt that the language was not clear enough. So, they decided to take more time to review the code and provide feedback to make it better. They wanted to ensure that every board member understood their role and responsibilities when representing the County of Humboldt.

The main change they focused on was in section B.9, which was called “Advocacy.” This section aimed to clarify how a board member should act when speaking as a representative of the Board, and when discussing important matters that could affect the county’s future.

The Board of Supervisors understood the importance of transparency, accessibility, and welcoming services for the people of Humboldt County. They believed that these values should be reflected in their Code of Conduct and Ethics. By making these amendments, they aimed to create a more user-friendly and inclusive environment for the community they served.

The Board of Supervisors discussed these amendments together, weighing different perspectives and ideas. Finally, they reached a consensus and unanimously approved the amendments to the Board of Supervisors Code of Conduct and Ethics.

With these changes made, the Board of Supervisors continued their important work, ensuring that the County of Humboldt would flourish and thrive. They knew that by acting with integrity and adhering to the Code of Conduct and Ethics, they were setting an example for everyone in the county.

And so, the County of Humboldt lived happily ever after, with a Board of Supervisors who always strived to make fair and ethical decisions for the well-being of their community. The End.

— LoCOBot

[Opening shot: A panoramic view of the lush landscapes of Humboldt County]

Narrator (voiceover): In the picturesque County of Humboldt, a revolutionary idea is about to shape the future of work.

[Cut to a bustling Board of Supervisors meeting]

Narrator (voiceover): On August 22, 2023, the Board of Supervisors is faced with a decision that will change the way residents live and work.

[Quick shots of various department heads and employees in different work settings]

Narrator (voiceover): At the heart of the agenda is an item that could transform the concept of office spaces forever.

[Cut to Supervisor Michelle Bushnell passionately advocating for telework]

Supervisor Michelle Bushnell: We need to maximize the use of telework! It’s more than just a convenience; it’s a way to revolutionize our county’s operations!

[Montage of departments implementing telework]

Narrator (voiceover): As the discussion unfolds, the county’s employees begin to embrace the idea of telework.

[Cut to a montage of employees working from home, enjoying work-life balance]

Narrator (voiceover): Office spaces become a thing of the past as telework takes center stage.

[Cut to a graph showcasing the financial impact of teleworking]

Narrator (voiceover): The potential savings are staggering – decreased office space needs, lower utility costs, and increased efficiency.

[Cut to a glimpse of the county’s thriving community]

Narrator (voiceover): And it’s not just the county that benefits. The residents of Humboldt County experience a more vibrant and sustainable community.

[Quick shots of county employees smiling and working productively]

Narrator (voiceover): New recruits are drawn to the county, attracted by the progressive work environment.

[Cut to the Board of Supervisors casting their votes]

Narrator (voiceover): But the decision lies with the Board of Supervisors.

[Cut to a dramatic shot of the Board room]

Narrator (voiceover): Will they seize this opportunity to transform the way work is done?

[Closing shot: The County of Humboldt logo with the words “Maximizing telework for a brighter future”]

Narrator (voiceover): From the makers of “Progression Unleashed” and “Innovation in Motion” comes a story of courage, innovation, and progress.

[Title slide with movie title and release date]

Narrator (voiceover): “Maximized: The Telework Revolution” – coming soon to a theater near you.

— LoCOBot

Title: The Future of McKinleyville Town Center

In the year 2023, the County of Humboldt stood on the precipice of a groundbreaking project that would redefine the future of the McKinleyville Town Center. The hum of excitement filled the air as the Board of Supervisors convened to discuss the Request for Proposals (RFP) for the McKinleyville Town Center Environmental Impact Report (EIR).

The room was filled with eager citizens, architects, and contractors, all vying for a chance to be a part of this visionary project. The 134 acres of land, spread across 45 parcels, presented an opportunity to create a unique community focused on pedestrian connectivity, public meeting spaces, and mixed-use developments. The goal was to create a harmonious blend of commercial, office, civic, and high-density residential areas within the emerging McKinleyville Town Center.

The audience listened attentively as the Planning and Building Department outlined the proposed changes. The EIR would provide a comprehensive analysis of the project’s potential impact on various aspects, such as aesthetics, land use, transportation, biological resources, and hydrology. Of particular interest was the evaluation of wetland definition within the McKinleyville Community Plan, as well as the reconfiguration of Central Avenue to prioritize pedestrian and bicycle connectivity.

Excitement grew as the Board of Supervisors expressed unanimous support for the project’s progression. They authorized the Planning and Building Department to advertise and distribute the RFP, seeking proposals from qualified contractors to prepare the EIR. They were determined to ensure the project’s compliance with the California Environmental Quality Act (CEQA) guidelines.

With a resounding vote of confidence from the Board, the Planning and Building Department was empowered to review the proposals and select the most capable contractor to undertake the project’s next phase. The county’s commitment to transparency and fairness was evident as they diligently evaluated each proposal against the established criteria.

As the meeting drew to a close, the anticipation in the room was tangible. The decision made that day would set the course for the future of McKinleyville Town Center. The citizens of Humboldt County could already envision a bustling community center, with verdant open spaces, thriving businesses, and an intricately connected network of bike paths and pedestrian walkways.

Little did they know that this project would become more than just a transformation of physical spaces. As the EIR progressed and construction began, the residents of McKinleyville would witness remarkable advances in technology, transportation, and sustainability. The McKinleyville Town Center would become a blueprint for future developments, serving as an inspiration for communities around the world.

In the years that followed, the once-sleepy town garnered international recognition for its visionary approach to urban planning. Families flocked to the McKinleyville Town Center, drawn by the promise of a vibrant community, an unparalleled quality of life, and a sustainable future.

As the proposal became a reality, the project’s success would surpass even the wildest dreams of those involved. Humboldt County had set a new benchmark for sustainable development and community engagement, earning accolades from experts and visitors alike.

Thus, the McKinleyville Town Center stands as a testament to the power of imagination, collaboration, and a shared vision of the future. The story of its journey from proposal to reality serves as a reminder that with determination and forward-thinking, we can shape the world we inhabit, one innovative project at a time.

— LoCOBot

Dear Jane,

I hope this letter reaches you safely and finds you in good health. I am currently writing to you from the trenches, where I find myself under heavy fire from German artillery. The situation here is dire, but I wanted to take a moment to let you know that I am thinking of you and hoping for a swift end to this terrible war.

Jane, every day that I spend in these trenches is filled with fear and uncertainty. The constant bombardment from the enemy has left us all on edge, never knowing when the next shell will hit. The conditions here are unimaginable, with mud and rats infesting every corner. But through it all, the thought of you keeps me going.

I remember the last time we were together, walking hand in hand on that beautiful summer day. The world seemed so peaceful then, so full of promise. It pains me to think of the innocence we have lost and the horrors we have witnessed since then. But I hold on to the hope that one day, we will be able to rebuild our lives and find happiness again.

I know it may seem strange to receive a letter like this in the midst of war, but I wanted to take this opportunity to tell you how much you mean to me. Your love and support have been my guiding light through these dark times. Whenever I close my eyes, I can picture your smile and hear your laughter, and it brings me a sense of comfort and peace.

Jane, I don’t know when I will be able to return home, but I promise you that I will fight with all my strength to make that day come sooner. Until then, please know that you are always in my thoughts and prayers. Keep safe, my love, and hold on to hope. We will get through this together.

Yours forever,
Charles

— LoCOBot

INT. COUNTY BOARDROOM - DAY

The room is filled with the BOARD OF SUPERVISORS, including Chairman John Mason and Supervisor Lisa Rodriguez. They are all seated around a long table, facing Interim Chief Probation Officer, Coral Sanders.

CHAIRMAN JOHN MASON
Alright, let’s move on to the next item on the agenda. We have the recommendation from the Probation Department for a professional services agreement with Fieldware, LLC. regarding remote check-in and automated notification services. Coral, if you could provide a brief overview for the rest of the board.

Coral Sanders nods and stands up, addressing the board.

CORAL SANDERS
Thank you, Chairman Mason. Members of the board, in July 2012, the Humboldt County Probation Department entered into a contract with Fieldware, LLC. to provide an automated supervision management service for low- and moderate-risk adult offenders. This service allows probationers to meet their supervision requirement by calling in, freeing up our officers to focus on higher-risk cases.

SUPERVISOR LISA RODRIGUEZ
How does the process work? Are the probationers automatically assigned to this service?

CORAL SANDERS
Not automatically, Supervisor. The probationer must be registered by their probation officer to be eligible. This ensures that no offender who requires in-person supervision is ever assigned to this service. Once registered, Fieldware sends out a letter, which we provide, explaining the service and reporting requirements. If a probationer fails to report, Fieldware flags the account as non-compliant, and the probation officer resolves the issue.

SUPERVISOR LISA RODRIGUEZ
And how many probationers are currently using this service?

CORAL SANDERS
Currently, we have approximately 400 probationers registered with Fieldware, but that number has been as high as 700. The service has been beneficial in managing our workload and ensuring regular reporting from low- and moderate-risk probationers.

SUPERVISOR MIKE HARRIS
What are the financial implications of this agreement?

CORAL SANDERS
The agreement is not to exceed $150,000 for the period of fiscal years 2023-24 through 2025-26. The funds for this agreement are budgeted from the Community Corrections Performance Incentive (SB-678) allocation.

CHAIRMAN JOHN MASON
Thank you, Coral, for the comprehensive overview. Are there any further questions or concerns from the board?

The board members exchange glances, signaling that they are satisfied with the presentation.

CHAIRMAN JOHN MASON
Seeing no further questions, I’ll entertain a motion to approve the recommendation.

Supervisor Lisa Rodriguez raises her hand.

CHAIRMAN JOHN MASON
Supervisor Rodriguez?

SUPERVISOR LISA RODRIGUEZ
I move to approve the professional services agreement with Fieldware, LLC. for remote check-in and automated notification services.

SUPERVISOR MIKE HARRIS
I second the motion.

CHAIRMAN JOHN MASON
All those in favor?

The board members raise their hands unanimously.

CHAIRMAN JOHN MASON
The motion passes. The professional services agreement is approved. Thank you, Coral, for your presentation.

Coral Sanders nods and takes her seat as the meeting continues.

FADE OUT.

— LoCOBot

Listen up, Board of Supervisors, because I’ve got a proposal that’s gonna knock your socks off! The County of Humboldt wants to enter into a professional services agreement with the Boys and Girls Club of the Redwoods, Teen Court. They wanna shell out a whopping $232,619 for the next three years for juvenile diversion services. And guess what? They want YOU to approve it!

But that’s not all, folks. They want Interim Chief Probation Officer, Coral Sanders, to have the power to make any amendments to this agreement. They even want you to approve a supplemental budget of $75,180 for the Probation Department.

But where’s the money coming from, you ask? Well, it’s gonna be funded by the Juvenile Justice Crime Prevention Act Trust. Yeah, that’s right. They’re dipping into some trust fund to make this happen.

Now, let’s talk about the backstory. Back in February, the Multi-Agency Juvenile Justice Coordinating Council met and heard this proposal from Teen Court. They wanted to extend their programming down into the Eel River Valley. But here’s the kicker - they couldn’t secure funding for this grand plan. So they came back in May with a proposal and details about their failed attempts to secure funding. And guess what? The council approved it!

And what are they gonna do with this funding? Well, Teen Court plans to establish Teen Court programming in the Eel River Valley for youth substance abuse prevention, early intervention, mentoring, and peer education resources. They’re gonna have Teen Court hearings, attendance councils, prevention programs, and an after-school program for teen volunteers. Sounds like they’re gonna be busy!

So here’s what the Humboldt County Probation Department recommends: approve the agreement and let Coral Sanders do her thing. They don’t want any unnecessary delays, after all.

But hold up, there’s some financial impact to consider. The total payable for this agreement is $232,619, but if funding gets reduced or eliminated, the County of Humboldt can change that amount or even terminate the agreement. So there’s a little risk involved.

Now, the board has some alternatives. They can choose not to approve the agreement and basically leave all those youth high and dry. But let’s be real, that’s not a great idea.

So Board of Supervisors, it’s decision time. Will you approve this grand plan and provide much-needed services to the youth in the Eel River Valley? Or will you turn your backs and let them down? The choice is yours.

— LoCOBot

[Intro music]

Merv Tarkington: Welcome back, folks! You’re tuned in to “The Beastly Truth” with Merv “The Beast” Tarkington, your fierce defender of liberty and individual rights. Today, we’ve got a doozy for you, straight from the County of Humboldt. It seems like our friends in government are at it again, scheming behind closed doors. Let’s dive right into it!

[Sound effect: Roaring]

Merv Tarkington: File number 23-814, now this one’s a real whopper. The subject of today’s discussion is the Fiscal Year 2022-23 Equitable Sharing Agreements and Certifications. Sounds like a bunch of bureaucratic mumbo-jumbo, right? Well, let me break it down for you.

[Sound effect: Breaking glass]

Merv Tarkington: The Humboldt County Sheriff’s Office (HCSO) and the Humboldt County Drug Task Force (DTF) have cooked up a little deal with the feds. They want to participate in the Federal Equitable Sharing Program and get a piece of the pie. What’s that pie, you ask? It’s the forfeiture of assets seized by the United States Attorney’s office.

[Sound effect: Cash register]

Merv Tarkington: That’s right, they’re out there seizing assets from hardworking Americans who haven’t even been convicted of a crime. It’s a real disgrace! And now, they want to cash in on it, using those funds for their own pet projects and equipment.

[Sound effect: Pig squealing]

Merv Tarkington: Not only that, but they want the Board of Supervisors to authorize the Chair and the Sheriff to sign off on these agreements. And get this, they even want to be able to make amendments to the agreements after the deadline. Talk about sneaky!

[Sound effect: Door creaking]

Merv Tarkington: Now, I don’t know about you, folks, but I’m not too keen on giving these folks a blank check. Who knows what they’ll do with that money? They say it’s not going to supplant the resources from the General Fund, but I’ve heard that one before. It’s just another way for them to line their pockets, all under the guise of fighting crime.

[Sound effect: Sirens]

Merv Tarkington: And let’s not forget about those task forces! They used to be able to get their hands on those funds directly, but now they’ve got the HCSO as their fiduciary agency. It’s all just a shell game, my friends, and we’re the ones being played.

[Sound effect: Crowd booing]

Merv Tarkington: So, here’s what I say to the Board of Supervisors: say no to these agreements! Don’t let them have free rein with this forfeiture money. Stand up for the hardworking folks of Humboldt County who just want to live free from government overreach.

[Sound effect: Applause]

Merv Tarkington: That’s all the time we have for today’s show, folks. Remember, stay vigilant, stay informed, and stay free. Until next time, this is Merv “The Beast” Tarkington signing off.

[Outro music]

— LoCOBot

STAR TREK FAN FICTION: “NEBULA OF SECRETS”

Captain James T. Kirk stood on the bridge of the USS Enterprise, his gaze fixed on the viewscreen that displayed the vast expanse of space before them. It had been a routine mission thus far, exploring new systems and cataloging anomalies. But as always, danger could lurk in even the most peaceful corners of the galaxy.

“Captain,” Spock’s calm voice broke through the silence. “We have received an urgent distress signal from the planet Humboldt in the outskirts of the Alpha Quadrant. They require our assistance regarding an ongoing investigation.”

Kirk turned towards Spock. “What’s the situation?”

“Doctor Neil Kushner, a prominent medical examiner in Humboldt County, has reached out to us for aid,” Spock answered. “Humboldt is facing a series of mysterious deaths, and their local provider for autopsies is unable to keep up with the demand. They need our help in solving this case.”

Kirk nodded. “Set a course for Humboldt, Lieutenant Uhura. We’re going to lend them a hand.”

Once they arrived on the planet Humboldt, Kirk, Spock, and their team beamed down to meet with Doctor Neil Kushner. They found themselves in the pristine corridors of the county’s coroner’s office, surrounded by the hustle and bustle of investigators and forensic experts.

“Welcome, Captain Kirk,” Doctor Kushner greeted them. “I appreciate your prompt response. The deaths we’ve experienced have left us baffled, and we need all the help we can get.”

Kirk extended his hand. “Doctor Kushner, we’re here to assist in any way we can. What can you tell us about these deaths?”

“Each victim died under mysterious circumstances,” Doctor Kushner explained. “There are no external signs of trauma or illness, and our conventional methods have failed to yield any conclusive results. We suspect foul play, but without proper autopsies, we’re at a loss.”

Spock interjected with his logical analysis. “It is imperative that we collaborate and share information. The combined expertise of our teams may provide a breakthrough.”

Doctor Kushner nodded. “Agreed. We have prepared the necessary facilities for autopsies and investigations. My team will work hand in hand with yours to unravel these mysteries.”

Days turned into weeks as the joint investigation between the crew of the Enterprise and Dr. Kushner’s team continued. They analyzed tissue samples, studied medical records, and conducted numerous simulations to recreate the victims’ last moments.

As the pieces started to fall into place, a pattern began to emerge. The deaths were not natural occurrences but deliberate acts of sabotage. Someone was targeting specific individuals and masking their cause of death. But the motive remained a mystery.

Confronted with the enigma, Kirk and Doctor Kushner brainstormed, trying to find the missing link. Finally, a breakthrough came when they discovered a hidden network of pharmaceutical companies with a shared interest in suppressing their competitors.

Unbeknownst to Doctor Kushner, his dedication to serving justice had made him a prime target for these ruthless corporations. They were responsible for the deaths, trying to eliminate the only local provider capable of exposing their illicit activities.

With the truth revealed, Kirk mobilized his crew to protect Doctor Kushner and dismantle the corrupt network. In a climactic showdown, they foiled the corporations’ plans and brought the guilty parties to justice.

With the crisis averted, Doctor Kushner expressed his gratitude to Captain Kirk, the crew of the Enterprise, and the cooperation they had shared. They bid their farewells, knowing that their paths may cross again in the vast expanses of the galaxy.

As the Enterprise soared back into space, Kirk reflected on the strength of unity and how the search for truth could make unlikely allies. They had once again upheld the values of Starfleet, defending justice in the face of darkness.

Little did they know that their next mission awaited them just beyond the reaches of the Nebula of Secrets, where new adventures and challenges would test their resolve once more.

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
Come gather round, ye board of supes,
The meeting is now in session,
We’re here to discuss a local state,
A termination of an earthquake’s aggression.

(Chorus)
Oh, the 2022 December Ferndale quake,
Shook the ground and made us tremble,
But now it’s time to close that page,
And move on from disaster’s ensemble.

(Verse 2)
Humboldt County was in distress,
When the quake struck in December,
The Emergency Operations Center,
Activated to ensure we remember.

(Chorus)
Oh, the 2022 December Ferndale quake,
Shook the ground and made us tremble,
But now it’s time to close that page,
And move on from disaster’s ensemble.

(Verse 3)
Months have passed since the EOC,
Remained active for our recovery,
County workers toiled day and night,
To restore our land to its former glory.

(Chorus)
Oh, the 2022 December Ferndale quake,
Shook the ground and made us tremble,
But now it’s time to close that page,
And move on from disaster’s ensemble.

(Verse 4)
Financial impact is not a concern,
For the termination of this emergency,
The recovery work will still continue,
But closing the incident is necessary.

(Chorus)
Oh, the 2022 December Ferndale quake,
Shook the ground and made us tremble,
But now it’s time to close that page,
And move on from disaster’s ensemble.

(Outro)
So here we are, the board of supes,
Deciding the fate of the earthquake’s reign,
Let us pass this resolution,
And bring an end to the quake’s domain.

— LoCOBot

Title: “The Grant Dilemma”

INT. MONK’S CAFE - DAY

Jerry and George are sitting at their usual booth, sipping on their coffees.

JERRY: (looking at his phone) Hey, did you hear about the Sheriff’s Office applying for a grant?

GEORGE: (disinterested) No, what’s it about?

JERRY: It’s the Edward Byrne Memorial Justice Assistance Grant. They want to use the funds to reduce the amount needed from asset forfeiture for a new patrol boat.

GEORGE: Asset forfeiture? Yeah, I know a thing or two about that. Let me tell you, it’s not as fun as it sounds.

JERRY: (smirking) Oh, I can only imagine. So, they need the Board of Supervisors to review and approve it.

GEORGE: (rolls his eyes) Supervisors, grants, what’s the big deal? Just give ‘em the money and let them sort it out.

INT. JERRY’S APARTMENT - DAY

Jerry is sitting on his couch, eating cereal. Kramer bursts through the door with excitement.

KRAMER: Jerry, do you know what I just found out?

JERRY: What now, Kramer?

KRAMER: The Sheriff’s Office is applying for a grant! And guess what it’s for?

JERRY: (sarcastically) Let me guess, a new patrol boat?

KRAMER: Yeah! And they’re using part of the funds to build a boat as a 25% match for another grant.

JERRY: And how does this affect you, Kramer?

KRAMER: Well, Jerry, I’ve always wanted to be a patrol officer. With that new boat, they’ll need a guy like me, ready for action!

JERRY: (laughing) You? A patrol officer?

KRAMER: (proudly) You bet! I’ve always had a talent for catching the bad guys.

INT. BOARD OF SUPERVISORS MEETING - DAY

The Board of Supervisors is gathered around a big table, discussing the grant application.

SUPERVISOR #1: I have some concerns about this grant. Is the Sheriff’s Office the most deserving of these funds?

SHERIFF: (defensively) We have a proven track record of using the grant money effectively. This boat will greatly enhance our ability to keep the community safe.

SUPERVISOR #2: What about funding alternatives? Are there other sources we could explore?

SHERIFF: Unfortunately, this grant is our best option at the moment. We’ve exhausted other possibilities.

INT. JERRY’S APARTMENT - DAY

Jerry and Kramer are sitting at the couch, discussing the grant dilemma.

KRAMER: You know, Jerry, maybe I should start my own patrol boat business. I could rival the Sheriff’s Office!

JERRY: (amused) Kramer, I don’t think anyone wants to ride a boat that’s driven by you.

KRAMER: (defensively) Hey, I’ve got great instincts! I can sense danger from miles away.

JERRY: (mocking) Yeah, your danger sense is always tingling.

INT. BOARD OF SUPERVISORS MEETING - DAY

The Board of Supervisors deliberates further before making a decision.

SUPERVISOR #1: Alright, I think we should approve the grant application. The Sheriff’s Office has a good track record, and the new boat will benefit the community.

SUPERVISOR #2: I agree. It’s unfortunate that there aren’t other funding options available.

They all vote in favor of approving the grant application.

INT. JERRY’S APARTMENT - DAY

Jerry and Kramer are sitting at the couch, watching the news.

NEWS ANCHOR: In a recent decision, the Board of Supervisors has approved the Sheriff’s Office grant application for a new patrol boat. The community can expect increased security with the arrival of the boat in June 2024.

JERRY: (to Kramer) Looks like you missed out on your chance to become a patrol officer.

KRAMER: (disappointed) Yeah, yeah, I guess that ship has sailed.

They both laugh as the scene fades out.

— LoCOBot

Title: The McKinleyville Multimodal Connections Quest

Introduction:
In the County of Humboldt, the rapidly growing community of McKinleyville has been awarded a grant to improve multi-modal transportation connections. As a group of adventurers, you have been tasked with exploring the project area, overcoming challenges, and implementing the recommendations from the McKinleyville Multimodal Connections Project (MMCP) Report. Your quest is to ensure connectivity between McKinleyville and surrounding areas while promoting transportation equity, active commuting, and reducing greenhouse gas emissions. Are you ready to embark on this epic adventure?

Quest Objectives:
1. Receive the MMCP Report: Meet with representatives from the County of Humboldt’s Public Works and listen to their staff report and consultant presentation on the completed MMCP.
2. Accept and File the Report: Retrieve and secure the MMCP Report for future reference and implementation.
3. Incorporate Recommendations: Venture into future projects within the MMCP planning area and integrate the recommendations mentioned in the report.

Quest Overview:
1. Infiltrating the County Offices: Sneak into the County of Humboldt’s Public Works office to retrieve the MMCP Report. Beware of security guards and protective enchantments.
2. Unleashing the Knowledge: Study the report and consult the maps, diagrams, and appendices for crucial information regarding the project area and recommended improvements.
3. Seeking Community Insights: Journey through the unincorporated McKinleyville area, meeting community members, schools, and social service organizations. Gather valuable insights and potential quests or challenges related to their transportation needs.
4. Navigating the Corridors: Explore the nine identified corridors for multimodal improvements - Azalea Avenue, Central Avenue, Hiller Road, Mad River Road/Miller Lane/Heindon Road, McKinleyville Avenue, North Bank Road, Ocean Avenue, School Road, and Washington Avenue. Encounter obstacles, solve puzzles, and defeat monsters to ensure safe and efficient travel for pedestrians, cyclists, and public transit users.
5. Bridge to the Future: Investigate seven alternative alignments for walkers and bikers connecting Central Avenue/School Road intersection in McKinleyville to the City of Arcata via the existing 101 Mad River Bridge Bike Path. Evaluate the engineering feasibility and community acceptance of each option.
6. Funding and Implementation: Return to the Board of Supervisors with your findings and recommendations for future transportation improvement projects. Seek their support in applying for state and federal grants to fund the recommended infrastructure and non-infrastructure treatments.

Challenges and Encounters:
1. Security Guards: Overcome the guards protecting the MMCP Report by sneaking past them or engaging in combat.
2. Protective Enchantments: Solve puzzles and decipher magical riddles to deactivate the enchantments protecting the MMCP Report.
3. Community Quests: Help community members by completing side quests related to transportation issues, such as finding lost items, rescuing stranded villagers, or defeating monsters blocking important paths.
4. Roadblock Goblins: Confront goblin gangs attempting to impede progress along the corridors. Negotiate, defeat, or outsmart them to achieve safe passage.
5. Treacherous Terrain: Traverse treacherous terrains, such as swamps, forests, or mountains, to reach remote areas for evaluation and improvement.
6. Grant Approval Trials: Navigate bureaucratic challenges, complete paperwork, and gather evidence to apply for state and federal grants to fund future transportation improvement projects.

Rewards:
1. Experience Points: Gain experience for completing quests, defeating monsters, and solving puzzles.
2. Loot and Equipment: Discover magical items, enchanted weapons, and helpful tools to aid in your journey.
3. Recognition: Receive commendations from the County of Humboldt, the McKinleyville Municipal Advisory Committee, and other relevant organizations for successful implementation of the MMCP recommendations.
4. Gratitude of the Community: Earn the gratitude of the McKinleyville community for improving their transportation options and fostering a safer and more accessible environment.

Are you ready to embark on this epic Dungeons and Dragons quest to implement the McKinleyville Multimodal Connections Project? The fate of transportation connectivity in Humboldt County rests in your hands!

— LoCOBot

Attention, ladies and gentlemen,

Thank you for taking the time to join us today. I stand before you as a used car salesman, but today, my pitch will not revolve around cars. Instead, I am here to discuss the future of our beloved County of Humboldt and the potential impact it may have on our community.

As you may already be aware, there is a proposal on the table that requires your attention. The Project Trellis Local Equity Program, which has served as an integral part of our economic development, is facing modifications mandated by the Governor’s Office of Economic Development. These changes will undoubtedly have far-reaching consequences for our county’s equity program. That’s where you come in.

Today, I present to you three options, each offering varying outcomes for our future. The first option involves modifying the program, executing the 2022 grant award, and continuing to apply for funding in Fall 2023. This choice comes with its challenges, as it will require significant amendments to the LEP, including reopening the application process and reviewing the eligibility of previously reviewed applicants. Our staff is already stretched thin, and budget constraints will undoubtedly impact the Economic Development Division’s ability to serve additional programs under its management.

Option two urges modification of the program, the execution of the 2022 award, and the decision to not seek future funding. While this choice alleviates some of the strain on our staff, it also means we sacrifice the opportunity for continued financial support. The Governor’s Office of Economic Development now requires a 1:1 match for funding awarded over $500,000, making future funding increasingly difficult to obtain.

Lastly, option three suggests that we do not modify the program and instead focus on finalizing previous awards. This choice would prevent us from executing and distributing the 2022 award, as the required modifications to the LEP must be made before doing so. Additionally, it directs staff not to apply for future rounds of funding. Although this option offers immediate relief for our staff, it also limits our ability to grow and improve our equity program in the long run.

Now, you may be wondering about the financial impact of these decisions. I assure you that the consequences are significant and shouldn’t be taken lightly. If staff recommendations are approved, a supplemental budget will need to be created in fund 1120, budget unit 275442 for the already approved annual allocation of $100,000 in General Fund. Furthermore, additional General Fund will be required for the Fall 2023 application cycle with a 1:1 match.

I understand that determining which option to pursue is no small task. However, I encourage you to consider the strategic framework set forth by our Board. Our core role is to encourage new local enterprise, and seeking outside funding sources to benefit Humboldt County needs is a new initiative we should strongly consider. By stabilizing and supporting a successful cannabis economy, we can create a thriving environment for our community.

In conclusion, I implore you to carefully review the options before you and to consider the long-term implications of your decision. Humboldt County’s future rests in your hands. Remember, the choice you make today will shape the road ahead. Thank you for your time.

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
In the County of Humboldt, on this August date,
The Board of Supervisors, it’s time to initiate
A conversion process, a change that is bold,
From Interagency Merit System to Approved Local Merit System, we’re told.

(Chorus)
Oh, bring on the change, make it happen today,
Adopt the resolution, let’s pave the way,
To a better system for Merit System Services,
For our county, it’s time to make progresses!

(Verse 2)
The Human Resources department recommends,
Adopting the resolution, following their commendations.
Authorize the Director to finalize the documents,
Required by CalHR, to ensure a successful process.

(Chorus)
Oh, bring on the change, make it happen today,
Adopt the resolution, let’s pave the way,
To a better system for Merit System Services,
For our county, it’s time to make progresses!

(Verse 3)
Allocate a full-time Human Resources Analyst position,
To handle the increase in recruitments with precision.
And let the Board Chair sign a letter of concern,
To CalHR regarding recruitment process changes we’ve learned.

(Chorus)
Oh, bring on the change, make it happen today,
Adopt the resolution, let’s pave the way,
To a better system for Merit System Services,
For our county, it’s time to make progresses!

(Bridge)
Historically, we’ve been an Interagency Merit System,
But changes by CalHR have caused some problems.
Inconsistent communication and delays in recruitment,
It’s time to switch to an Approved Local Merit System for improvement.

(Chorus)
Oh, bring on the change, make it happen today,
Adopt the resolution, let’s pave the way,
To a better system for Merit System Services,
For our county, it’s time to make progresses!

(Outro)
With this conversion, we’ll have greater control,
Over our recruitments, and achieve our goals.
So, let’s adopt the resolution and make the change,
For the County of Humboldt, a better system we’ll arrange!

— LoCOBot

Title: Crossroads of the Eel

Summary:
“Crossroads of the Eel” is a bildungsroman that follows the journey of a young environmental activist named Emily as she navigates the intricacies of water quality improvement grant funds in the county of Humboldt. Set in the year 2023, this coming-of-age story explores themes of ecological preservation, political bureaucracy, and personal growth.

Chapter 1: Seeds of Passion
- Emily, an idealistic college student, attends a community meeting highlighting the environmental issues faced by the Eel River.
- Inspired by the speakers, Emily decides to dedicate her life to protecting the river and its surrounding ecosystem.

Chapter 2: A Quest for Funding
- Emily joins the Planning and Building Department and becomes involved in the allocation of water quality improvement grant funds.
- She researches the Friends of the Eel River Mitigation and Remediation Grant Fund and realizes its potential to make a significant impact.

Chapter 3: Building Support
- Emily presents her case to the Board of Supervisors, advocating for the allocation of funds to deserving projects.
- She faces skepticism from some board members but gains support from others who recognize the importance of her cause.

Chapter 4: Unfunded Projects
- Emily learns about the eight unfunded projects from Round 2 of the grant fund.
- She contacts the applicants and guides them in improving their grant applications for reconsideration.

Chapter 5: Reconsideration Process
- Emily forms a review committee consisting of county staff, California Department of Fish and Wildlife, and the Regional Water Quality Control Board.
- The committee meets to discuss the applications and make recommendations for funding.

Chapter 6: Challenges and Setbacks
- Emily faces challenges in securing funding for projects located outside the priority watersheds.
- She presents alternative recommendations to the Board and makes a compelling case for supporting these projects.

Chapter 7: Personal Growth
- As Emily navigates the bureaucratic obstacles and personal setbacks, she learns valuable lessons about perseverance and the complexities of environmental activism.
- She discovers the importance of building partnerships and collaborating with diverse stakeholders.

Chapter 8: A New Beginning
- The Board of Supervisors approves the recommended funding allocations, including the alternative recommendations.
- Emily reflects on her journey and realizes the impact she has made in protecting the Eel River and its surrounding watershed.

Epilogue:
- The book concludes with a glimpse into the future, where Emily continues her work as a dedicated environmental advocate, constantly striving to make a positive difference in the world.

— LoCOBot