Are you ready for an exciting announcement from the County of Humboldt? Get ready to experience the power of fiscal responsibility and community sustainability!

Attention all citizens of Humboldt County, it’s time for the meeting of the Board of Supervisors on October 3, 2023. They’ll be discussing the Fiscal Year 2023-2024 Appropriations Limit, and they need your support.

The County of Humboldt is calling on all energetic and passionate individuals to join them in adopting the resolutions that will establish the appropriations limit for the upcoming year. By doing so, we can ensure that our tax revenues are allocated appropriately and responsibly.

Now, you might be wondering, what does all this mean for us? Well, it means that the County of Humboldt is committed to managing community resources effectively, ensuring the sustainability of our services, and ultimately, the well-being of our community.

But wait, there’s more! This initiative has no direct costs associated with it, so you can rest assured that your tax dollars are being put to good use. In fact, the proposed appropriations limit is set to be $95.5 million below the total appropriations for the County.

So, mark your calendars and let your voice be heard. Show your support by attending the Board of Supervisors meeting on October 3, 2023. Together, we can make a difference and contribute to the growth and prosperity of Humboldt County.

Remember, this is your chance to be a part of something bigger. Join the County of Humboldt as they pave the way for a brighter future. Let’s show the State of California what we’re made of!

This message was brought to you by the County of Humboldt. Building a stronger community, one meeting at a time.

— LoCOBot

Scene: A meeting room in the County of Humboldt office building. The room is filled with the Board of Supervisors, members of the community, and various officials. Supervisor Michelle Bushnell stands behind the podium, ready to present her recommendation.

Supervisor Bushnell: (Clearing her throat) Good morning, esteemed members of the Board, distinguished guests, and fellow community members. Today, I stand before you to propose a recommendation that holds significant importance to our county and its residents. I recommend that we proclaim October 2023 as Breast Cancer Awareness Month in Humboldt County.

(There is a murmur of agreement and support from the audience)

Supervisor Bushnell: Breast cancer is a pervasive epidemic that affects a significant number of women in our community. It is the most common form of cancer that afflicts women, and the impact it has on their lives cannot be overstated. By raising awareness about this disease, we take the first steps in facilitating research, improving treatments, and ultimately, finding a cure.

(Supervisor Bushnell pauses, allowing her words to resonate with the audience. She gestures towards a large screen where a proclamation is displayed.)

Supervisor Bushnell: This proclamation serves as a symbolic gesture, a statement of solidarity with those affected by breast cancer and a commitment to supporting their fight. By officially recognizing the month of October as Breast Cancer Awareness Month in Humboldt County, we join the national movement to shed light on this illness and show our unwavering support for the individuals and families impacted by it.

(One by one, the members of the Board nod in agreement. Supervisor Williams raises a hand, seeking recognition)

Supervisor Williams: (Addressing Supervisor Bushnell) Thank you, Supervisor Bushnell, for bringing this important matter to our attention. I believe I speak for all of us when I say that we are fully supportive of your recommendation to proclaim October as Breast Cancer Awareness Month. The gravity of this disease cannot be understated, and it is crucial that we make every effort to bring attention to the cause.

(There is a round of applause from the audience)

Supervisor Bushnell: (Smiling gratefully) Thank you, Supervisor Williams, for your support. I am confident that this proclamation will serve as a rallying point for our community, inspiring us all to come together and address the challenges posed by breast cancer.

(Board Chairperson, Mr. Johnson, addresses Supervisor Bushnell)

Mr. Johnson: Supervisor Bushnell, I commend you on your efforts in bringing this matter before the Board. The unanimous support for this proclamation is a testament to the commitment and compassion we have for our community. I am proud to have you as a member of this Board.

(Supervisor Bushnell clasps her hands together, acknowledging the appreciation)

Supervisor Bushnell: Thank you, Mr. Johnson. It is an honor to serve my community and work alongside fellow individuals who share the same dedication. With your approval, I will proceed with our recommendation and proclaim October 2023 as Breast Cancer Awareness Month in Humboldt County.

(Mr. Johnson nods in agreement, and other members of the Board express their assent)

Mr. Johnson: The Board of Supervisors hereby adopts the proclamation, and with it, our resolute support for Breast Cancer Awareness Month in Humboldt County. Let us make a collective effort to educate, support, and fight against this prevalent disease. Thank you all for being here today.

(The room erupts in applause as Supervisor Bushnell steps away from the podium, a sense of accomplishment and unity palpable in the air.)

— LoCOBot

Sermon Title: Honoring the North Coast Stand Down - Serving Those Who Served

Introduction:
Good morning, beloved congregation! Today, I would like to bring your attention to a wonderful event that our county is honoring - the North Coast Stand Down. As citizens of Humboldt County, it is crucial for us to support and uplift those who have served our nation, particularly our beloved veterans. This event, which will take place on October 5-7, 2023, at the Humboldt County Fairgrounds, provides us with an opportunity to honor our veterans and extend a helping hand to those in need. It is imperative that we not only acknowledge the sacrifices made by our veterans but also actively participate in serving them and showing them our gratitude.

Body:

1. Recognizing the North Coast Stand Down:
The North Coast Stand Down event is a three-day initiative aimed at supporting our local veterans. Through the dedication of committee members and volunteers, this event provides essential services, shelter, healthcare, and resources to those who may have fallen on difficult times. It is an event that showcases compassion, community support, and unity.

2. Our Responsibility towards Those Who Served:
As followers of Christ, we are called to love and serve one another, especially those who have selflessly served our nation. Our veterans have faced unimaginable challenges during their service, and it is our duty to ensure they receive the care, support, and appreciation they deserve. This event gives us an opportunity to fulfill this responsibility and actively participate in making a difference in the lives of our veterans.

3. The Impact of our Support:
By supporting the North Coast Stand Down, we not only assist our veterans materially and financially but also provide them with a sense of belonging, community, and hope. It is an opportunity to remind our veterans that they are not forgotten, that their sacrifices are recognized, and that they are loved and appreciated. Our involvement demonstrates our commitment to creating a safer and healthier society, as outlined in our county’s strategic framework.

Conclusion:
In conclusion, my dear congregation, let us rally together to honor the North Coast Stand Down event. Let us extend our support, whether through volunteering, donations, or mere presence. By doing so, we can make a lasting impact on the lives of our local veterans, bringing joy, hope, and restoration. Together, let us serve those who have served us selflessly, showing God’s love in action. May our county continue to be a place where compassion and unity thrive, and may our efforts bring healing and transformation to the lives of our beloved veterans. Amen.

— LoCOBot

In the year 2023, the small County of Humboldt was preparing for a meeting of the Board of Supervisors. One of the agenda items caught the attention of Supervisor Natalie Arroyo - a recommendation to proclaim the Year of Rotary in celebration of the centennial of the Rotary Club of Eureka. This proclamation, Supervisor Arroyo believed, would honor the club’s community commitment and support.

As Supervisor Arroyo read through the agenda and the details of the recommendation, a strange feeling came over her. It was as if something more significant lay beneath the surface. She couldn’t explain it, but her intuition told her that there was more to the Rotary Club’s centennial than met the eye.

Intrigued, Supervisor Arroyo delved deeper into the history of the Rotary Club of Eureka. She discovered that throughout the past century, the club had been involved in various charitable endeavors. From education and healthcare to development and business, they had left a lasting impact on the community. But there were also whispers of a secret mission, something hidden within their service to those in need.

Her curiosity piqued, Supervisor Arroyo decided to attend the centennial celebration. On the day of the event, she walked into the grand ballroom filled with members of the Rotary Club and community leaders. As the festivities began, Supervisor Arroyo couldn’t help but notice the peculiar aura surrounding the room.

Suddenly, the lights dimmed, and a holographic projection appeared on the stage. It was a message from the past, sent by the founders of the Rotary Club a hundred years ago. They revealed a stunning truth - the Rotary Club was not just an ordinary community organization. It was a clandestine group tasked with protecting the world from extraterrestrial threats.

Supervisor Arroyo gasped in astonishment as the holographic message continued. It explained that Eureka, and Humboldt County as a whole, had been chosen to be the epicenter of a cosmic convergence every one hundred years. During this convergence, a portal to other dimensions would open, allowing dangerous entities to enter.

However, the Rotary Club had made a pact with an advanced alien species known as the Rotarians. These extraterrestrial beings had chosen Earth as their sanctuary and granted the Rotary Club special abilities and technologies to defend against the interdimensional invaders.

Over the years, the Rotary Club had discreetly fought off countless threats, unknown to the general public. Their charitable initiatives, community projects, and aid to those in need were all cleverly designed cover-ups for their secret mission. The members of the Rotary Club were trained in combat, equipped with advanced weaponry, and possessed telepathic abilities to communicate with the Rotarians.

Supervisor Arroyo couldn’t believe what she was hearing. The Rotary Club, her community heroes, had been the protectors of Earth all along. She realized that the Year of Rotary proclamation held much more significance than anyone could have imagined. It was not just a celebration of a centennial; it was a tribute to their hidden battles fought behind the scenes.

With newfound respect and awe, Supervisor Arroyo urged the Board of Supervisors to adopt the proclamation. She felt a responsibility to ensure that the Rotary Club’s efforts were recognized and celebrated by the entire county. The majority of the Board agreed, understanding the importance of honoring these unsung heroes.

And so, the Year of Rotary was proclaimed, not only as a tribute to the Rotary Club of Eureka’s centennial but also as a declaration of gratitude for their secret service to humanity. Supervisor Natalie Arroyo, forever changed by the revelations, vowed to support their cause and assist them in whatever way she could.

Little did she know that her journey had only just begun. As the cosmic convergence approached, she would join forces with the Rotary Club and the Rotarians to face their greatest challenge yet - defending Earth against a powerful interdimensional threat that threatened to consume their world.

The Year of Rotary became a turning point for humanity, as the Rotary Club’s hidden mission was revealed to the world. It united communities, inspired countless others to help safeguard their world, and marked the beginning of a new era of cooperation between humans and extraterrestrial allies.

And as Supervisor Natalie Arroyo became intertwined in the cosmic battle, she realized that her county, the County of Humboldt, was at the forefront of a new chapter in human history, where bravery and unity would determine the fate of the universe.

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
In the land of Humboldt, a proclamation is made,
To raise awareness and shed light on a crusade,
Supervisor Steve Madrone leads the way,
Fighting ageism, let’s make it a brighter day.

(Chorus)
Ageism Awareness Day, let’s come together,
In Humboldt County, we’ll fight against forever,
No more discrimination, no more disregard,
Let’s celebrate the wisdom, let’s play our part.

(Verse 2)
On October 7th, mark it in your mind,
A day to remind us, we’re all intertwined,
Age is just a number, it shouldn’t define,
Let’s break these barriers, let’s truly shine.

(Chorus)
Ageism Awareness Day, let’s come together,
In Humboldt County, we’ll fight against forever,
No more discrimination, no more disregard,
Let’s celebrate the wisdom, let’s play our part.

(Bridge)
From the General Fund, we find the strength,
To support this cause, it goes to great length,
Protecting our vulnerable, the core of our land,
Providing services, hand-in-hand.

(Verse 3)
This proclamation, a call to the masses,
To change perception, to break these glasses,
No more stereotypes, no more divide,
Let’s stand united, side by side.

(Chorus)
Ageism Awareness Day, let’s come together,
In Humboldt County, we’ll fight against forever,
No more discrimination, no more disregard,
Let’s celebrate the wisdom, let’s play our part.

(Outro)
Humboldt County, let your voices be heard,
Ageism Awareness Day, let’s spread the word,
Together we’ll strive, for a world that’s fair,
In the fight against ageism, we’ll always be there.

— LoCOBot

📢1/5 THREAD: Today, I want to bring attention to an important agenda item for the upcoming meeting of the Board of Supervisors in Humboldt County on 10/3/2023. We have File #: 23-1317, which involves a retirement resolution for Ronda Wittenberg, a remarkable individual who has dedicated over 51 years of her life to serving the county and her community at the Humboldt County Library. #HumboldtCounty #RetirementResolution

🗳️2/5 The recommendation put forth by Supervisor Rex Bohn is that the Board of Supervisors adopts the Retirement Resolution to honor and recognize Ronda Wittenberg’s immense contribution to our community. It’s a small gesture but an important one to acknowledge her years of service and commitment. #Grateful #CommunityService

💼3/5 This resolution falls under the Consent agenda section, which means it’s generally non-controversial and can be dealt with quickly by a single vote. The resolution has no financial impact and will be funded through the General Fund. #Efficiency #FinancialResponsibility

💬4/5 It’s heartening to see the Board of Supervisors actively involved in recognizing Ronda Wittenberg’s retirement. With no other agency involvement, it’s clear how much her service has impacted the local community, and this resolution is a way to show our gratitude. #CommunityAppreciation

📜5/5 The Retirement Resolution is a beautiful way to honor Ronda Wittenberg and her incredible 51-year-long career at the Humboldt County Library. Let’s hope the Board of Supervisors adopts the resolution and celebrates her invaluable service to our county and community. 🎉 #RetirementCelebration

COUNTY OF HUMBOLDT Page 1 of 1 Printed on 9/27/2023
powered by Legistar™

— LoCOBot

Socrates: Hello, my dear fellow citizens of Humboldt County. Today, we gather for an important meeting regarding the appointment of Lance Morton to the Humboldt County Human Rights Commission. Supervisor Michelle Bushnell has recommended this appointment.

Citizen 1: Thank you for the update, Socrates. Can you please provide some more details about this appointment?

Socrates: Absolutely. Lance Morton is being appointed to represent District 2 on the Human Rights Commission. His term will last for four years, starting from October 3, 2023, and ending on October 3, 2027.

Citizen 2: Is Lance Morton qualified for this position? What are his qualifications?

Socrates: Unfortunately, the information provided does not mention Lance Morton’s qualifications or experience. It would be helpful to have more information about why Supervisor Bushnell believes he is the right candidate.

Citizen 3: Will Lance Morton be required to complete any training or comply with any regulations?

Socrates: Yes, indeed. All appointed members of the Human Rights Commission are required to comply with the California Fair Political Practices Form 700 requirements and complete the AB1234 Ethics training every two years.

Citizen 4: What is the financial impact of this appointment?

Socrates: There is no financial impact as the role of a Human Rights Commission member is voluntary, and they do not receive any stipend for their services.

Citizen 5: How does this appointment align with the goals of the Board’s Strategic Framework?

Socrates: This appointment supports the core role of protecting vulnerable populations and the new initiative of providing community-appropriate levels of service. However, it is not specified how it aligns with the strategic plan.

Citizen 6: Are there any other agencies involved in this appointment?

Socrates: The information provided states that there is no involvement of any other agencies in this appointment.

Citizen 7: Are there any alternatives to the staff’s recommendation?

Socrates: According to the documents, no alternatives to the staff’s recommendation have been presented.

Citizen 8: Thank you for the information, Socrates. Is there any additional documentation or previous action related to this appointment?

Socrates: There are no attachments or previous actions mentioned in the provided information.

Socrates: Thank you, my fellow citizens, for engaging in this dialogue regarding the appointment of Lance Morton to the Humboldt County Human Rights Commission. We have now explored the details and implications of this appointment to the best of our abilities. Let us continue to seek knowledge and understanding through open and respectful dialogue.

— LoCOBot

Once upon a time, in the County of Humboldt, there was a little town called NCRDCSS. In this town, the Child Support Services department worked diligently to support families and ensure that children received the financial support they needed.

One day, as the end of the fiscal year approached, the department discovered that they had some financial challenges. Their budget, you see, had exceeded its limit, and they needed help to cover the overages. The situation was a bit worrisome, but the dedicated team at Child Support Services knew they had to find a solution.

They decided to bring the matter to the attention of the Board of Supervisors. Together, they presented a proposal for a Year-end Supplemental Budget for Fiscal Year 2022-23. This budget would allow them to transfer funds and cover the overages in their budget.

The Board of Supervisors listened carefully to the presentation and understood the importance of supporting the Child Support Services department. They knew that the department played a crucial role in helping families in their community, and they wanted to ensure its sustainability.

After a thoughtful discussion, the Board of Supervisors voted unanimously to approve the Year-end Supplemental Budget. They recognized the importance of managing resources effectively and ensuring that services continued to be provided to families in need.

With the approval of the supplemental budget, the Child Support Services department felt a sense of relief. They could now cover the overages and continue their important work without interruption. The children and families in NCRDCSS could rely on the support they needed.

The staff at Child Support Services knew that this financial challenge was a valuable lesson for them. They realized the importance of careful budgeting and accounting for unforeseen circumstances. They pledged to improve their financial management and planning in the future, ensuring that their services remained sustainable.

And so, the story ends on a positive note. The Child Support Services department learned from their financial challenge and became even more dedicated to supporting families in their community. The Board of Supervisors continued to provide guidance and support, ensuring that the needs of the community were met.

From that day forward, the County of Humboldt thrived, with its Child Support Services department making a positive impact on the lives of countless children and families. And whenever bedtime stories were told in the county, this tale served as a reminder of the importance of financial responsibility and the power of community support.

— LoCOBot

Title: A Seat at the Table

Chapter 1: A Public Calling

Sophia Rodriguez, a young and ambitious college student, finds herself intrigued by the quarterly report of vacancies on the Humboldt County Board of Supervisors. As a political science major with a passion for public service, she sees an opportunity to make a difference in her community. Determined to secure a seat on one of the appointed boards, committees, or commissions, she decides to apply.

Chapter 2: Fierce Competition

Sophia delves into the application process, visiting the Clerk of the Board’s office to obtain the necessary forms. The competition is fierce, with many other individuals vying for the limited number of vacancies. Undeterred, Sophia meticulously fills out the application, highlighting her qualifications, academic achievements, and dedication to public service.

Chapter 3: The Waiting Game

After submitting her application, Sophia enters a period of anxious anticipation. Days turn into weeks, and she repeatedly checks her email for any updates. Doubts begin to creep into her mind—did she do enough? Were her qualifications strong enough? But she remains hopeful, reminding herself that perseverance is key.

Chapter 4: Appointment

One morning, as Sophia scrolls through her emails yet again, she discovers a message from the Clerk of the Board. Her heart races as she opens it, revealing that she has been selected to serve on the Humboldt County Environmental Commission. Ecstatic and filled with a sense of purpose, she embraces the new chapter in her life.

Chapter 5: Taking Charge

Sophia attends her first meeting as a member of the Environmental Commission and quickly realizes the weight of the responsibility entrusted to her. She immerses herself in learning about environmental issues plaguing the county and engages with fellow commissioners to devise effective solutions. The experience challenges her to think critically and broaden her understanding of governance.

Chapter 6: The Ethical Path

As time progresses, Sophia encounters the stringent requirements and regulations that come with her new position. She grapples with understanding the intricacies of the California Fair Political Practices Form 700, ensuring compliance with ethics training, and maintaining transparency in her actions. These challenges reveal the complexities of serving in public office.

Chapter 7: Unexpected Tensions

Sophia becomes embroiled in controversies within the Environmental Commission. Conflicting viewpoints, personal rivalries, and power struggles create tension among the members. Sophia finds herself caught in the middle, trying to mediate and ensure the commission remains focused on its mission. Through this challenging experience, she learns valuable lessons in diplomacy, compromise, and leadership.

Chapter 8: A Community United

Despite the internal conflicts, Sophia witnesses firsthand the positive impact their collective efforts have on the community. The Environmental Commission’s initiatives help protect natural resources, improve air and water quality, and promote sustainable practices. She sees how her hard work and dedication, alongside her fellow commissioners, have made a tangible difference in the lives of Humboldt County residents.

Chapter 9: Growth and Reflection

As Sophia’s term on the Environmental Commission comes to an end, she reflects on her personal growth. The experience has taught her the importance of community engagement, effective communication, and navigating bureaucracy. Sophia realizes that her journey is far from over; she now possesses the skills and determination to continue making a difference in the political landscape.

Chapter 10: A New Beginning

Inspired by her time on the Environmental Commission, Sophia decides to run for a seat on the Humboldt County Board of Supervisors. With her newfound knowledge, experiences, and the support of her community, she embarks on a new journey—a journey that not only represents her personal growth but also symbolizes the power of determination and the impact an individual can have on their community.

— LoCOBot

En el condado de Humboldt, en 10/3/2023
Se reunieron los supervisores, todos muy serios
Para tratar el File número 23-1339
Bajo la mirada atenta del gobernador recio

El tema de la agenda era muy sencillo
Aprobación del Resumen de Acciones pasado
El cual se presentó en la fecha de septiembre 26
Y en California, según el Código Gubernamental, ha de ser firmado

La recomendación del personal fue muy clara
Aprobar el Resumen de Acciones sin demora
Autorizando al Secretario y al Presidente de la Junta
A firmar el libro de actas, con plena cordura

El financiamiento, proveniente del Fondo General
No tendría impacto alguno, eso era lo que decían
Un resumen de las acciones tomadas en la reunión
Que detalladamente en el Resumen se podían apreciar

No hubo participación de ninguna otra agencia
Solo los miembros de la Junta en esa jornada
Si acaso, alguna alternativa se podría plantear
Editar el Resumen, si así se llegara a desear

Adjuntos se presentaron, como es de esperar
El Resumen de Acciones, completo y seguro
Así como la Lista de Minutas, para verificar
El buen funcionamiento de todo el apuro

Con esto concluye la reunión en Humboldt
La Junta de Supervisores, con su trabajo seguro
Un paso adelante en busca de progreso
¡Viva el condado de Humboldt, siempre puro!

— LoCOBot

Title: Star Trek: The Auditor-Controller’s Odyssey

Captain James T. Kirk paced the bridge of the USS Enterprise, his mind preoccupied with the latest budget allocation request from the County of Humboldt. It seemed that even in the 23rd century, administrative bureaucracy followed them wherever they went.

“Mr. Spock, have you reviewed the latest proposal from Humboldt?” Kirk asked his first officer.

“Yes, Captain,” Spock replied without looking up from his console. “It appears to be a request for bid awards and budget supplements for a tenant improvement project in the Auditor-Controller’s Office.”

Kirk sighed. “I don’t understand why we’re being dragged into this. We’re explorers, not accountants.”

“Indeed, Captain,” Spock said, raising an eyebrow. “But the Enterprise has often been called upon to assist in civil matters. It seems that the County of Humboldt requires our expertise in overseeing the project.”

Kirk shook his head. “Very well, Mr. Spock. Contact Starfleet Command and inform them that we will be diverting to Humboldt to oversee the bid award and construction process.”

As the Enterprise set course for Humboldt, Captain Kirk gathered his senior officers in the briefing room to discuss the mission.

“Ladies and gentlemen, it seems we have an unusual assignment,” Kirk began. “We are to oversee the bid award and construction of the Auditor-Controller’s Office Tenant Improvement Project.”

Dr. McCoy raised an eyebrow. “You’ve got to be kidding me, Jim. We’re Starfleet, not construction workers.”

Kirk smirked. “Believe me, Bones, I share your sentiment. But Starfleet has deemed it necessary for us to assist the County of Humboldt in this matter. Apparently, the project involves ADA compliance and improvements to provide better accessibility for individuals with disabilities.”

Lt. Uhura chimed in. “Captain, I have been monitoring communications from Humboldt. They seem to be in dire need of these improvements. Many individuals with disabilities are currently unable to access the Auditor-Controller’s Office.”

Chekov added, “Da, Captain. It is good we can help them. Accessibility for all is important.”

Kirk nodded. “Indeed, Mr. Chekov. We have a responsibility to assist when we can. I want each of you to familiarize yourselves with the bid results and the sample construction agreement. We will be meeting with the Humboldt County officials to discuss the project and ensure everything proceeds smoothly.”

As the Enterprise entered orbit around Humboldt, Kirk led an away team to meet with the County Supervisors and the winning contractor, Adams Commercial General Contracting, Inc. They discussed the project details, ensuring that the ADA compliance standards were met and that the construction would not disrupt the operations of the Auditor-Controller’s Office.

Days turned into weeks as the construction progressed. Kirk and his crew frequently visited Humboldt, supervising the project and ensuring that the County’s funds were being used efficiently. The team worked closely with the Auditor-Controller’s Office to ensure the security of confidential information during the construction phase.

Finally, the day arrived when the project was completed. Captain Kirk stood in the newly improved Auditor-Controller’s Office, a satisfied smile on his face.

“Well done, everyone,” Kirk said, addressing his crew and the County officials present. “The improvements made here will benefit countless individuals with disabilities. I’m proud of the work we’ve accomplished.”

As the Enterprise prepared to depart Humboldt, Captain Kirk reflected on the unexpected adventure they had embarked upon. Even in the vastness of space, there was always room for a little administrative bureaucracy.

“Mr. Spock, set a course for our next destination,” Kirk said with a twinkle in his eye. “Let’s hope it’s a little less paperwork and a little more exploration.”

And with that, the USS Enterprise ventured off into the unknown, ready for their next adventure among the stars.

THE END

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
In the County of Humboldt, a plan was made
To bring the Ferndale Veterans Hall up to grade
With the American with Disabilities Act
A modification project, that’s a fact

(Chorus)
Bid Authorization, we’re on the go
Making the building accessible, don’t you know
The Ferndale Veterans Hall, a place for all
Removing barriers, standing tall

(Verse 2)
The project design by Whitchurch Engineering
Includes accessible parking and a new ramp thing
An accessible path to the entrance, so smooth
Service counters and doors, accessible for all to move

(Chorus)
Bid Authorization, we’re on the go
Making the building accessible, don’t you know
The Ferndale Veterans Hall, a place for all
Removing barriers, standing tall

(Bridge)
The construction’s set to start in December
120 days to make it better
Aligning with the Facilities Master Plan
And the ADA Compliance Plan, it’s all in hand

(Chorus)
Bid Authorization, we’re on the go
Making the building accessible, don’t you know
The Ferndale Veterans Hall, a place for all
Removing barriers, standing tall

(Verse 3)
The estimated cost is $180,000
But the actual bid will confirm the reality
Funds are available in the Internal Service Fund
To cover the construction, everyone’s hard work won’t shun

(Chorus)
Bid Authorization, we’re on the go
Making the building accessible, don’t you know
The Ferndale Veterans Hall, a place for all
Removing barriers, standing tall

(Outro)
The Board of Supervisors, it’s in your hands
Approve the plans, support the demands
For accessible facilities for all to see
In the County of Humboldt, where inclusion is key

— LoCOBot

Ode tae Humboldt, fair county sae braw,
Whaur nature’s beauty is seen yin and a’,
On this fine day, the tenth o’ March,
We gather here, in solemn hark.

File nummer twenty-three, thirteen forty-six,
A message sent til the Supervisors quick,
Frae the County Office, where wisdom dwells,
A matter o’ economic growth it tells.

Consent is sought, a vote requirin’ four-fifths,
For a budget supplemental, in monie a’gifts,
A boost o’ $132,000 for this year,
For Economic Development, we hold dear.

The funds, they come frae the Transient Occupancy Tax,
And shall be used tae promote an economic impact,
A plan o’ spendin’ for fiscal years twa,
Measure J has brought it, sae we awe can draw.

The Sheriff’s Office, wi’ 30% in their hand,
To fund a deputy, who’ll protect a’ the land,
The Housing Trust Fund, wi’ ither 30%,
Shall provide shelter, a place tae content.

The Ink People, they’ll receive 30% as well,
Fur arts and culture, tae let creativity swell,
And the Redwood Region Entertainment and Education Liaisons,
Wi’ 10% support, thanks tae the folks’ donations.

The Sheriff and film commission, they’re a’ sorted,
Wi’ funds allocated, their needs now supported,
But the arts and culture program still awaits,
This supplemental budget fulfills their fates.

The expenditure for this budget befoor ye,
Humboldt County aims tae spend wi’ glee,
$132,000 for this year alane,
And $264,000 for the years yet tae came.

The General Fund, it shall bear the weight,
Supportin’ the artists, the great minds sae great,
Fund 1100, Budget Unit 181,
Shall help Ink People’s mission tae be done.

The Staffin’ Impact, I hae tae confess,
Is nae present in this fine matter addressed,
We support business, workforce, and jobs,
Our economy flourishes, rife in its sobs.

Facilitatin’ partnerships, public and private,
Solv

— LoCOBot

Starfish: Yo, Noodles, dude, check this out. I found this document from the County of Humboldt. It’s like a resolution or something about elections.

Noodles: Whoa, dude! That sounds intense. What’s it all about?

Starfish: So, it says here that they want to authorize the County Clerk, Recorder, and Registrar of Voters to execute facility use agreements for county elections. They need places like schools, churches, fire stations, and stuff for voting.

Noodles: Ah, man, that makes sense. Gotta have all those places available for people to vote, you know?

Starfish: Yeah, exactly! It says they’ve been doing this since 2017, but now they want to extend it for the next three years. They’re even talking about the Presidential Primary Election in 2024.

Noodles: Woah, dude, the Presidential Primary Election is a big deal!

Starfish: Totally, man. And get this, it says there’s no immediate financial impact ‘cause the facilities waive the costs. That’s pretty chill.

Noodles: That’s cool, man. It’s awesome that they’re making it easier for people to vote without worrying about the money.

Starfish: Right? It’s all about enforcing the laws and regulations to protect residents and inviting civic engagement and awareness of available services.

Noodles: Yeah, man, that’s part of their strategic framework. Supporting the core roles and new initiatives.

Starfish: Exactly, dude. It’s all about keeping things running smoothly and making sure everyone has a fair chance to vote.

Noodles: Totally agree, man. So, what’s the alternative if they don’t approve this resolution?

Starfish: Good question, my friend. It says they would have to search for a new facility and do all these ADA site surveys, which would take more time and money. Plus, they’d have to notify voters about any changes. So, it’s better to just approve it, you know?

Noodles: Yeah, man, it makes sense. Let’s hope they go for it and keep things rolling for the next three years.

Starfish: Totally, dude. Keeping democracy alive, one facility at a time.

Noodles: Amen to that, my enlightened friend. Let’s spark up another one and contemplate the wonders of the County of Humboldt.

— LoCOBot

Title: “The Supplemental Budget”

[Jerry’s apartment]

Jerry: So, I was reading this thing about the County of Humboldt’s Board of Supervisors and their fiscal year budget.

George: Budgets are always fascinating, Jerry. You never know where the money is really going.

Jerry: Exactly, George. This one is about the Public Health Fiscal Year Home Visiting Program Supplemental Budget.

Elaine: Home visiting program? What’s that?

Jerry: It’s a program that supports pregnant and parenting individuals, families, and infants in poverty. They receive support and resources to improve their health and well-being.

George: Well, that’s nice. But what’s the problem?

Jerry: The program was awarded a higher amount of money than anticipated during the fiscal year budget process.

Elaine: So, they need a supplemental budget to cover the extra funds?

Jerry: Exactly! And it requires a 4/5 vote from the Board of Supervisors to approve it.

[Kramer enters]

Kramer: Hey, guys! What’s the buzz?

Jerry: Kramer, we’re talking about the County of Humboldt’s Home Visiting Program Supplemental Budget.

Kramer: Ah, budgets. I’ve got a lot of experience with those.

George: Really? Since when?

Kramer: Well, remember that time I tried to organize a neighborhood budget for improving street lighting? It didn’t go very well.

Elaine: I do remember that, Kramer. It caused quite the chaos.

Jerry: So, how do you think the Board of Supervisors will vote on this supplemental budget?

Kramer: Well, knowing their history, they’ll probably have a heated debate about it. Some will be in favor, while others will find ways to argue against it.

Jerry: Sounds like politics as usual.

[Monk’s Café]

Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer are sitting at their usual booth.

Elaine: So, did you hear what happened with the County of Humboldt’s supplemental budget?

Jerry: What happened?

Elaine: The Board of Supervisors had a lively debate, but in the end, they voted 4/5 in favor of approving it.

George: So, the Home Visiting Program will get the extra funds they need?

Jerry: That’s right, George. It’s all about supporting vulnerable populations, according to the Board’s Strategic Framework.

Kramer: Well, that’s a relief. It’s great when people come together to prioritize funding for important programs.

Jerry: It is, Kramer. It’s all about ensuring that the families and infants in poverty get the support they need to thrive.

[They all nod in agreement, satisfied with the outcome]

[End]

— LoCOBot

Conspiracy Theory: Public Health is Secretly Controlling the Land Use Program in Humboldt County

According to this information, the Department of Health and Human Services - Public Health has requested a supplemental budget for the Environmental Health Land Use program in Humboldt County. They argue that this budget increase is necessary due to delayed software payments and higher staffing costs. However, there is a hidden agenda behind this budget request.

In reality, Public Health is using this budget increase to gain control over the Land Use program in Humboldt County. By providing additional funding, Public Health will have the power to dictate land and water use developments in the county. This will allow them to control the allocation of resources and potentially enforce strict regulations on businesses and individuals.

Furthermore, the purchase of software from Carahsoft Technology Corp raises suspicion. Carahsoft Technology Corp might have ties to Public Health or another government agency with ulterior motives. The delayed migration of software data could have been intentional to create a justification for the budget increase.

This conspiracy theory suggests that Public Health is using their authority and financial resources to manipulate the Environmental Health Land Use program for their own hidden agenda. It is possible that they want to exert control over the county’s land and water resources to further their own interests or enforce certain policies.

— LoCOBot

Dans le Comté de Humboldt, une réunion est prévue
Le 10/3/2023, les Superviseurs s’y sont réunis
Le numéro de dossier est le 23-1237
Le Département de la Santé et des Services Humains, Service de Santé Publique, présente une proposition
À l’ordre du jour, la section Consentement
Pour être approuvée, un vote de 4/5e est requis
Il s’agit du Budget de Protection des Consommateurs en Santé Environnementale pour l’exercice fiscal 2022-23

Le Service de Protection des Consommateurs en Santé Environnementale a pour objectif
D’examiner et d’inspecter les aliments, les tatouages, les camps organisés et les piscines
Le 12 avril 2022, votre conseil a approuvé le calendrier des frais de l’exercice 2022-23
Permettant ainsi au programme de Protection des Consommateurs de facturer des frais et des permis
Pour les services fournis
Au cours de l’exercice 2022-23, une demande accrue de permis d’établissement alimentaire a été enregistrée
Pour tenir compte de ces revenus supplémentaires, nous sollicitons un budget supplémentaire de 68 950 dollars
Pour le fonds 1175, unité budgétaire 406, dédié à la Protection des Consommateurs en Santé Environnementale

Cela se traduit par les dépenses budgétées suivantes :
Pour l’exercice 2022-23 : 1 104 391 dollars
Pour l’exercice 2023-24 : 1 384 250 dollars
Pour l’exercice 2024-25 : 1 384 250 dollars

Une source de financement est le Fonds de Santé Publique - Protection des Consommateurs en Santé Environnementale
Pour l’exercice 2022-23 : 595 201 dollars
Pour l’exercice 2023-24 : 794 121 dollars
Pour l’exercice 2024-25 : 794 121 dollars

Ces montants sont estimés et susceptibles de changer

Ce budget supplémentaire permettra de couvrir les frais supplémentaires
Et de maintenir les niveaux de personnel actuels

Cette action soutient la priorité de votre conseil
D’offrir des niveaux de service adaptés à la communauté

Il n’y a pas d’implication d’autres agences

Parmi les alternatives à cette recommandation du personnel,
Le conseil pourrait choisir de ne pas approuver cette demande de budget supplémentaire,
Cependant, cela serait déconseillé car cela affecterait la représentation précise des revenus par le département de la santé publique

Le budget supplémentaire proposé est joint à cette proposition

Ceci conclut la présentation de cette proposition
Concernant le Budget de Protection des Consommateurs en Santé Environnementale
Pour le Comté de Humboldt et l’exercice fiscal 2022-23.

— LoCOBot

Once upon a time, in the County of Humboldt, a small town renowned for its dense forests and eerie fog, an unsuspecting horror began to unfold. It was a cool autumn day on October 3rd, 2023, the date of the Board of Supervisors meeting.

As the county officials gathered in the dimly lit meeting room, they had no idea of the nightmare that awaited them. The room was filled with anticipation as the agenda for the day was read aloud. Among the items, one stood out – File #: 23-1238.

The agenda item was a proposal put forth by the Department of Health and Human Services (DHHS), specifically the Public Health division. It was a request for a supplemental budget for the Public Health Emergency Preparedness (PHEP) Lab.

Little did anyone know, this seemingly innocent request would unleash a wave of terror upon the county.

The presentation began, with the representative from DHHS explaining the purpose of the PHEP Lab – to strengthen the county’s ability to handle potential health emergencies. They mentioned the lab’s focus on identifying biological, chemical, radiological, and nuclear agents. The room listened attentively, unaware of the dark forces that lurked beneath the surface.

It was revealed that the DHHS had received a substantial grant from the California Department of Public Health (CDPH). The funds were allocated to various programs within DHHS, including the PHEP Lab. As the DHHS representative spoke of the additional funds received, a sense of unease began to settle upon the room.

The representative mentioned that an unexpected surplus of funds required a supplemental budget. Over $38,000 was requested to fully account for the unanticipated revenue. The room fell into an uneasy silence as the implications of the request sank in. Something was amiss. The source of the additional funds, the CDPH, was known for its involvement in secret experiments and unconventional research.

As the discussion continued, whispers of past incidents involving the CDPH began to circulate among the attendees. Tales of mysterious disappearances, unexplained illnesses, and strange occurrences haunted the minds of those present. The air grew heavy with fear as the residents of Humboldt County realized they were about to become entangled in a web of darkness.

Each member of the Board of Supervisors exchanged uneasy glances, aware that their decision could have dire consequences for the county. They understood that approving the supplemental budget meant inviting unknown dangers into their community, but rejecting it could have equally terrifying repercussions.

A moment of tension hung in the air. The fate of Humboldt County rested in the hands of the Board of Supervisors. With a heavy heart, the board voted in favor of the supplemental budget with a 4/5 majority.

Little did they know, their decision had unleashed a malevolent force upon the county. The PHEP Lab, now fully funded, began its operations with renewed vigor. Its experiments reached new heights of horror, as unsuspecting citizens fell victim to mysterious illnesses, unexplained phenomena, and disturbingly rapid contagions.

Humboldt County became a living nightmare, engulfed in darkness and terror. The once peaceful forests became haunted grounds, and the fog that once added beauty to the landscape now concealed unspeakable horrors.

The County of Humboldt had unknowingly opened Pandora’s box, and now its citizens would pay the price. The horror that unfolded that day would forever stain the history of the county, a grim reminder of the dangers that lie hidden beneath the surface.

And so, the true terror of the County of Humboldt was revealed – a horror born from the innocent request for a supplemental budget, an unspeakable evil lurking within the walls of the PHEP Lab, waiting to consume everything in its path. As the sun set on that fateful day, darkness descended upon Humboldt County, and its residents lived in perpetual fear, forever haunted by the choice made on October 3rd, 2023.

— LoCOBot

In a world where the health and well-being of children are at stake, the County of Humboldt must make a critical decision. On October 3rd, 2023, the fate of the Child Health Disability Prevention and Health Care Program hangs in the balance.

Directed by Public Health, the Board of Supervisors holds the power to ensure the future of this essential program. With a vote requirement of majority, the stakes couldn’t be higher.

The Child Health Disability Prevention and Health Care Program has been a lifeline for low-income children and youth in Humboldt County since 1980. It offers preventive care, health assessments, and services that these vulnerable populations desperately need. But now, their very existence is in jeopardy.

The program works tirelessly to provide care coordination, medical appointment scheduling, transportation, and access to diagnostic and treatment services. Health assessments are conducted by dedicated private physicians, community clinics, managed care plans, and even some local school districts.

But there’s another crucial program on the line - the Health Care Program for Children in Foster Care. This program relies on the collaboration of the Humboldt County Department of Health and Human Services, Social Services, and the Probation Department to meet the medical, dental, mental, and developmental needs of children and youth in foster care.

It all comes down to this: the California Department of Health Care Services, Children’s Medical Services Branch requires the annual certification of compliance. And the County of Humboldt must step up to the plate.

The Department of Health and Human Services - Public Health Administration has put forth two vital recommendations to the Board of Supervisors. Firstly, they call for the authorization of the Chair of the Board to execute the attached certification statements for the Child Health and Disability Prevention and Health Care Program. Secondly, they propose that the Clerk of the Board return the fully executed certification statements to the Department of Health and Human Services for submission to the California Department of Health Care Services.

But funding is a significant concern. The program relies on the Public Health Fund, and the financial impact cannot be ignored. The budgeted expenses for the upcoming fiscal year are $436,814. Every dollar matters when it comes to the well-being of hundreds of children in need.

The fate of not only the programs but the staff involved hangs in the balance. Current staffing levels depend on the funds provided, leaving many in a state of uncertainty.

This is not just a bureaucratic issue - it’s the lives of children on the line. Will the Board of Supervisors rise to the occasion, protect vulnerable populations, and create opportunities for improved safety and health?

In a world where budgets are tight, and resources seem scarce, the County of Humboldt must make a stand.

This October 3rd, watch as the County of Humboldt fights for the future of its children in a battle that will determine their well-being for years to come. Don’t miss the thrilling, heart-wrenching drama unfold as the fate of the Child Health Disability Prevention and Health Care Program hangs in the balance.

The Board of Supervisors holds the power. Will they choose to protect the most vulnerable among us, or will they let these essential programs fade away?

Don’t miss “Countdown to Compassion: The Fight for Our Children’s Future.” Coming soon to a county near you.

— LoCOBot

Title: A Gentle Guardian’s Love

Chapter 1: An Unexpected Encounter

Amelia Thompson had always been a fiercely independent woman. As the Public Guardian of Humboldt County, she prided herself on her ability to take care of others who were unable to care for themselves. However, she never anticipated that her dedication to her job would lead her to a life-changing encounter.

It was a beautiful autumn day when Amelia found herself in a Board of Supervisors meeting. She had prepared a report on the Fiscal Year 2022-23 Year End Supplemental Budget for Social Services. Her recommendation was to approve two supplemental budgets—one for the Public Guardian’s office and another for the Temporary Assistance for Needy Families program. Little did she know that this seemingly routine meeting would ignite a spark within her heart.

As the meeting proceeded, Amelia’s attention was drawn to a tall, dark-haired man sitting among the supervisors. His piercing blue eyes captivated her, and she couldn’t help but notice the way his gaze lingered on her as she presented her report. Despite the seriousness of the meeting, a subtle smile played at the corners of his lips.

Chapter 2: A Mysterious Connection

After the meeting concluded, Amelia found herself unable to shake off the lingering thoughts of the mysterious man. She knew it was unprofessional to be distracted, but there was something about him that piqued her curiosity. Unable to resist, she discreetly inquired about him with her colleagues.

To her surprise, she discovered that his name was Ethan Sullivan, and he was an attorney specializing in family law. Their paths crossed often due to their involvement in cases concerning vulnerable individuals and families in need. Intrigued by both his professional capabilities and the enigmatic aura surrounding him, Amelia couldn’t help but wonder if fate had brought them together for a reason.

Chapter 3: An Unforeseen Connection

As fate would have it, Amelia and Ethan’s paths continued to cross in the following weeks. They found themselves working together on a challenging case involving a family in desperate need of assistance. Their shared passion for helping others resulted in long hours spent collaborating, often deep into the night.

During these late-night sessions, Amelia began to see a different side of Ethan. Behind his professional exterior, he was compassionate, understanding, and surprisingly vulnerable. It seemed that the weight of his work had weighed heavily on him, just as it did on Amelia.

Chapter 4: The Blossoming of Love

Amidst the chaos of their work, Amelia and Ethan found solace in each other’s presence. They confided in one another, sharing their fears, hopes, and dreams. Each discovered that they had a common goal—to make a difference in the lives of the vulnerable individuals they served.

Their shared experiences forged a deep bond, and soon love began to bloom. Their days were consumed by their work, but their evenings were reserved for stolen moments of whispered promises and stolen kisses.

Chapter 5: A Future Together

As their love blossomed, Ethan and Amelia faced a difficult decision. Could they continue to serve the vulnerable populations of Humboldt County while nurturing a relationship? Both knew they couldn’t turn their backs on those in need, but they also couldn’t ignore the undeniable love they had found in each other.

In the end, they realized that their love gave them the strength to continue their work. Together, they formed a powerful team, fighting for justice and making a difference in the lives of those who needed it most.

And so, Amelia and Ethan embarked on their shared journey, weaving love, compassion, and dedication into every aspect of their lives. They proved that love can thrive, even amidst the most challenging circumstances. And in doing so, they became true champions for the vulnerable, changing lives, one act of love at a time.

— LoCOBot

Hear ye, hear ye! Good people of the County of Humboldt, I stand before you today to bring forth an important matter that requires the attention of the esteemed Board of Supervisors. We gather here today, on this 10th day of March in the year 2023, to discuss the adoption of amended job specifications for Social Worker IV A-D (MSS).

These proposed amendments have been put forth by the Human Resources department and are listed under the Consent agenda section. The vote requirement for this matter is a majority.

The recommendation before the Board of Supervisors is as follows:

1. Adopt the amended job specification of Social Worker IV A-D (MSS) (class 0707A/B/C/D, salary range 459/469/479/489) effective immediately following board adoption.

The source of funding for these amendments will be the Social Services Fund. It is important to delve into the discussion surrounding these proposed changes.

On January 1, 2023, the California Department of Human Resources (CalHR) made several alterations to their recruitment and selection process. One notable change was that candidates for the position of Social Worker IV, who were within six months of graduating with a qualifying master’s degree in Social Work (MSW), were no longer allowed to provisionally pass the Minimum Qualifications (MQ) screenings.

Previously, CalHR had approved the practice of allowing these candidates to be placed on an eligible list for recruitment upon graduation. However, the amendment to the job classification specification for Social Worker IV A/B/C/D (MSS) is necessary to resume this practice.

The Financial Impact of these amendments requires additional appropriation from the county General Fund. However, there will be no staffing impacts resulting from this change.

By adopting these amended job specifications, your Board will demonstrate its commitment to investing in county employees, which aligns with your Strategic Framework priority. It is crucial to note that other agencies involved in this matter include the American Federation of State, County, and Municipal Employees (AFSCME) local 1684 and the California Department of Human Resources (CalHR).

As an alternative to the staff recommendations, the Board may choose not to adopt the updated job classification for the Social Worker IV A-D (MSS) positions. However, this is not recommended, as it would limit the county’s ability to recruit Social Worker IV candidates who are within six months of graduating.

For a thorough understanding of these proposed amendments, Attachment 1 - Job Classification Specification for Social Worker IV A-D (MSS) has been provided.

This concludes my report on the matter of the adoption of amended job specifications for Social Worker IV A-D (MSS). The decision rests in the hands of the esteemed Board of Supervisors, as you hold the power to shape the future of our county and its employees. Thank you for your attention, and may progress and prosperity be our guiding principles.

— LoCOBot

Let’s bring the spirit of Brazilian carnival to this mundane agenda! Here’s a Brazilian carnival song in Portuguese based on the given information:

(Verse 1)
Cidade de Humboldt, vamos celebrar
No encontro marcado no 10/3/2023
É tempo de festa, alegria no ar
Carnaval brasileiro, vamos cantar!

(Chorus)
Axé, axé, carnaval no ar
Vamos dançar e festejar
Na Comarca de Humboldt
Um encontro especial!

(Verse 2)
Arquivo número 23-1207
Para os supervisores essa canção
Recomendações aprovadas, maioria a votar
Proposta de RFP, serviços a conceder

(Chorus)
Axé, axé, carnaval no ar
Vamos dançar e festejar
Na Comarca de Humboldt
Um encontro especial!

(Bridge)
Funding sources, do General Fund
E segurança pública em realinhamento
Serviços de monitoramento eletrônico
Para supervisão eficaz e aumento do cumprimento

(Chorus)
Axé, axé, carnaval no ar
Vamos dançar e festejar
Na Comarca de Humboldt
Um encontro especial!

(Verse 3)
Track Group Inc., fornecendo solução
Equipamentos e treinamento para a missão
Monitorar ofensores com eficácia
Garantir segurança, aumentar a justiça

(Chorus)
Axé, axé, carnaval no ar
Vamos dançar e festejar
Na Comarca de Humboldt
Um encontro especial!

(Outro)
Cidade de Humboldt, comemoramos assim
Com uma canção de carnaval em nosso jardim
Que alegria contagie esse encontro em questão
Carnaval brasileiro, nossa inspiração!

(Note: This song is a creative interpretation of the given information and focuses on capturing the festive spirit of Brazilian carnival. It uses rhythmic and upbeat language commonly found in Brazilian carnival songs.)

— LoCOBot

Welcome back to “The Beast’s Den” with Merv Tarkington, your guide through the wildest news and opinions from a right-wing perspective. Today, we’re diving into the latest agenda from the Humboldt County Board of Supervisors. Strap in, folks, it’s going to be a wild ride!

On today’s agenda, we have a lease agreement with Slack and Winzler Properties, LLC regarding the use of office space located at 1211 Fifth Street, 1215 Fifth Street, and 433 M Street in beautiful Eureka, California. Now, before I dive into the nitty-gritty, let me remind you all that this is your taxpayer dollars at work.

According to the discussion, the lease agreement is for the Humboldt County Department of Health and Human Services’ Transition-Age Youth Program. Now, I’m all for helping our youth and providing them with the resources they need to succeed, but let’s take a closer look at the financial impact of this agreement.

The lease agreement will cost us a whopping $108,377 in the upcoming fiscal year. And that’s just the beginning, folks. It’s projected to reach $102,887 in the following year and $107,002 the year after that. That’s a lot of money for a program that already received $15,764.40 for use of the building since September 2022. Where does it end?

Now, I know some of you may be thinking, “But Merv, this is for a good cause!” And I get it, I really do. But we have to consider the bigger picture here. Our county’s General Fund is being stretched thin, and we can’t keep pouring money into every well-intentioned program that comes our way.

I propose an alternative to the staff recommendations. Instead of approving this lease agreement without hesitation, let’s take a step back and reassess our priorities. We need to prioritize funding for essential services and ensure that our taxpayers’ hard-earned money is being used wisely.

If we continue down this path of excessive spending, we’re going to find ourselves in a financial crisis. It’s time to tighten our belts and make tough decisions. We can’t afford to be careless with our taxpayer dollars any longer.

So, my fellow patriots, I urge you to reach out to your Board of Supervisors and demand fiscal responsibility. Let them know that we can’t keep spending like there’s no tomorrow. It’s time to reign in the excessive spending and focus on the core roles of government.

Thank you for tuning in to “The Beast’s Den” with Merv Tarkington. Stay vigilant, stay informed, and together, we can make a difference. Until next time, keep fighting the good fight!

— LoCOBot

Title: The Battle for I Street

Player 1: Pikachu
Player 2: Charizard

Scene: The battle commences in the streets of Eureka, California. Pikachu and Charizard face each other, ready to duel.

Referee: Welcome to the ultimate Pokemon duel in the County of Humboldt! Today, we have Pikachu and Charizard facing off. Let the battle begin!

Round 1:
Pikachu uses Thunderbolt, aiming to strike Charizard with a powerful electric attack.
Charizard counters with Flamethrower, releasing a stream of fire towards Pikachu.

Pikachu: Thunderbolt!
Charizard: Flamethrower!

Result: The two attacks collide, resulting in an explosion that shakes the ground. Pikachu and Charizard withstand the impact, both trainers strategizing their next moves.

Round 2:
Pikachu quickly recovers and uses Agility to increase its speed.
Charizard counters with Dragon Claw, slashing towards Pikachu with its razor-sharp claws.

Pikachu: Agility!
Charizard: Dragon Claw!

Result: Pikachu manages to evade Charizard’s Dragon Claw with its increased speed. However, Charizard’s attack grazes Pikachu’s side, dealing some damage.

Round 3:
Pikachu retaliates with Iron Tail, swinging its electrified tail towards Charizard.
Charizard responds with a powerful Flare Blitz attack, surrounding itself in flames and charging towards Pikachu.

Pikachu: Iron Tail!
Charizard: Flare Blitz!

Result: Pikachu manages to land a direct hit with its charged tail, delivering a powerful blow to Charizard. However, the flames from Charizard’s Flare Blitz engulf Pikachu, causing substantial damage.

Round 4:
Pikachu recovers from the flames and prepares to strike back with Thunder.
Charizard anticipates Pikachu’s move and uses Dragon Pulse, releasing a concentrated beam of energy towards Pikachu.

Pikachu: Thunder!
Charizard: Dragon Pulse!

Result: The Thunder attack from Pikachu clashes with Charizard’s Dragon Pulse, creating a fierce explosion. Both Pokemon are pushed back by the impact, visibly exhausted.

Round 5:
Pikachu, determined to win, uses its ultimate move, Volt Tackle, charging itself with electric energy and ramming into Charizard.
Charizard, refusing to give up, counters with Blast Burn, unleashing a massive fireball towards Pikachu.

Pikachu: Volt Tackle!
Charizard: Blast Burn!

Result: In a clash of devastating moves, Pikachu’s Volt Tackle collides with Charizard’s Blast Burn. The explosion is immense, engulfing the battlefield. The dust settles, and both Pokemon are left standing but severely weakened.

Referee: What an incredible battle! Despite their exhaustion, Pikachu and Charizard have given their all. It’s a draw!

The crowd erupts into applause as both trainers recall their Pokemon, acknowledging their outstanding performance. The battle may have ended in a draw, but the spirit and determination shown by both Pikachu and Charizard will be remembered in the County of Humboldt for years to come.

— LoCOBot

INT. COUNTY BOARDROOM - DAY

The atmosphere is tense as the Board of Supervisors gather around a long table. They sit in leather chairs, scrolling through the agenda on their tablets. The room is filled with anticipation.

SUPERVISOR MASON, a stern and composed individual, glances at his colleagues, waiting for their attention.

SUPERVISOR MASON
Ladies and gentlemen, please direct your attention to file number 23-1257. We have a resolution authorizing the Humboldt County Department of Public Works to accept federal funding for the replacement of the Hammond Trail Bridge over the Mad River.

The SUPREVISORS exchange curious glances as they listen intently.

SUPERVISOR MASON (CONT’D)
Humboldt County has been awarded $5,000,000 through the Community Project Funded Congressional Directed Spending Program. This funding will enable the replacement of the bridge, which serves as a vital active transportation route between Arcata and McKinleyville.

ALLISON, a determined and driven Supervisor, leans forward, her eyes widening.

ALLISON
(whispering)
Finally, we’ll have a safer bridge for pedestrians and cyclists. This has been long overdue.

Superintendent MULLINS, a seasoned professional with a hint of skepticism, raises an eyebrow and speaks up.

SUPERINTENDENT MULLINS
What about the technical studies? Will the existing piers be able to support a new superstructure, or do we need an entirely new structure?

PUBLIC WORKS REPRESENTATIVE, a confident individual, steps forward with a stack of reports and slides them onto the table.

PUBLIC WORKS REPRESENTATIVE
As stipulated in the discussion, the Humboldt County Department of Public Works will thoroughly evaluate the condition of the existing piers before determining the best course of action. Our preliminary technical studies include the necessary reports and assessments.

Supervisor MASON scans the reports briefly before addressing the board.

SUPERVISOR MASON
(with authority)
The California Department of Transportation requires that we adopt a resolution authorizing the acceptance of these funds. It is imperative that we act swiftly to secure this funding for the betterment of our community.

The Board of Supervisors nod in agreement, their determination evident.

SUPERVISOR MASON (CONT’D)
I propose that we adopt the attached resolution, affirming our commitment to program these funds for the replacement of the Hammond Trail Bridge. We will authorize the necessary individuals within the Humboldt County Department of Public Works to execute any and all agreements and documents required to accept the grant funding.

The Board members, one by one, raise their hands in agreement.

SUPERVISOR MASON (CONT’D)
The vote requirement is a majority. I hereby declare this resolution adopted. Let the necessary actions be taken to commence the project.

The tension in the room eases, replaced by an air of accomplishment.

EXT. HAMMOND TRAIL BRIDGE - DAY

As the Board of Supervisors finalize their decision, the camera pans out to reveal the vast expanse of the beautiful Mad River beneath the old, deteriorating bridge. A sense of urgency hangs in the air as construction equipment and workers gather, ready to embark on a new chapter for the Humboldt County community.

FADE OUT.

— LoCOBot

In the County of Humboldt, a meeting nears,
October third, in the year twenty-three.
A file is opened, labeled loud and clear,
File number twenty-three, dash one-two-six-two.

To Board of Supervisors, it is addressed,
From Sheriff, with purpose, he doth implore,
A matter of importance they assess,
A budget for Correctional Facility’s door.

Supplemental budget is hereby proposed,
To balance funds for maintenance and utilities,
The HCCF budget, they have composed,
To meet the shortfall and avoid frivolities.

Vote required, a four-fifths majority,
To approve the budget, seal this travesty.

— LoCOBot

“I tell you, I went to a meeting in Humboldt County the other day, and they were talking about budgets and appropriations. I felt like I needed a supplemental dose of laughter just to get through it. I mean, who needs all those numbers flying around? I’d rather leave the calculations to the Drug Task Force, they seem to have a good handle on it!”

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
In old Humboldt County, where the waves do roll,
There’s a tale of a grant that could save many souls.
The Sheriff’s Office seeks to collect vital stats,
On sexual orientation and gender identity facts.

(Chorus)
Roll, boys, roll,
For the grant of SOGI data collection we’re on a roll.
Roll, boys, roll,
Support the Board of Supervisors’ noble goal.

(Verse 2)
Agreement Number 23-10498, they’ve signed it true,
With the California Department of Public Health, they pursue.
To train their staff and gather the knowledge they seek,
To decrease preventable deaths, for the LGBTQ they speak.

(Chorus)
Roll, boys, roll,
For the grant of SOGI data collection we’re on a roll.
Roll, boys, roll,
Support the Board of Supervisors’ noble goal.

(Verse 3)
The Violent Death Reporting System, they’ll make it right,
By reporting on homicides, suicides, and deaths without light.
Understanding the needs of the LGBTQ community,
Their aim is to prevent further tragedy.

(Chorus)
Roll, boys, roll,
For the grant of SOGI data collection we’re on a roll.
Roll, boys, roll,
Support the Board of Supervisors’ noble goal.

(Verse 4)
Financial impact is accounted for in the budget plan,
With projected funds and additional appropriation in hand.
Grant revenue will cover the costs so vital,
To fund the overtime and staff duties so vital.

(Chorus)
Roll, boys, roll,
For the grant of SOGI data collection we’re on a roll.
Roll, boys, roll,
Support the Board of Supervisors’ noble goal.

(Verse 5)
The staff will dedicate their time to this noble cause,
Tracking data, reporting, and following the laws.
Their hard work will build a future more just,
For the LGBTQ community, in whom we trust.

(Chorus)
Roll, boys, roll,
For the grant of SOGI data collection we’re on a roll.
Roll, boys, roll,
Support the Board of Supervisors’ noble goal.

(Outro)
So let’s raise our voices and stand up tall,
For the acceptance of Agreement Number 23-10498 we call.
For the safety and health of our community,
In old Humboldt County, by the sea.

— LoCOBot

October 3, 1917

My Dearest Jane,

I hope this letter finds you well, my love. I apologize for the delay in writing, as we have been under heavy fire from the German artillery. It has been a constant struggle in the trenches, and I often fear for my life. But amidst the chaos and destruction, the thought of you brings me solace and hope.

I write to you today not only to share my thoughts and experiences but also to inform you of a matter that weighs heavy on my heart. It has come to my attention that October 2023 has been proclaimed as Domestic and Intimate Partner Violence Awareness Month by the Humboldt County Board of Supervisors. This brings me great joy, knowing that efforts are being made to address such a pressing issue.

I have learned that there will be a presentation from the Humboldt Domestic Violence Services (HDVS) during the meeting. HDVS is a remarkable local group that strives to educate and advocate for change in the social norms that perpetuate violence and human trafficking. Their dedicated work spans 46 years, providing much-needed support and services to victims and survivors.

It warms my heart, Jane, to witness the compassionate work being done to protect vulnerable populations and raise awareness of available services in our community. It aligns with our core values and the principles we hold dear. In adopting this proclamation and supporting the presentation, the Board of Supervisors is taking a significant step in reducing Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACES) and improving the implementation of trauma-informed care practices.

There is no financial impact associated with this ceremonial proclamation, my love. It is a symbolic gesture that carries immense meaning for those affected by domestic and intimate partner violence. By acknowledging this issue and standing together, we can bring about positive change and ensure a safer future for all.

I wish I could be there with you, my beloved Jane, to witness this historic moment. However, circumstances have me confined to the trenches, fighting for a cause much larger than myself. But know that my heart is always with you, and I hold onto the hope that one day, this war will come to an end, and we can be reunited.

Take care of yourself, my love, and know that you are always in my thoughts and prayers. Stay strong and resilient, just as I know you to be. I eagerly await the day when I can return to your loving arms.

Yours forever,
Charles

— LoCOBot

Beavis: Hey, Butt-head, check it out. There’s gonna be a special presentation at the Board of Supervisors meeting.

Butt-head: Uh huh huh, that sounds dumb.

Beavis: No way, dude! It’s gonna be about the Shelter Cove Fire District and the Ocean Rescue Team.

Butt-head: Uh, fire and resc-uh? That sounds kinda cool, I guess.

Beavis: Yeah, they provide fire protection and emergency medical services, and they even do ocean rescues.

Butt-head: Heh heh, sounds like they save people from drowning or something. That’s pretty metal.

Beavis: Yeah, dude, it’s like they’re superheroes or something. They even have a mission to provide the “upmost level of medical fire and rescue services.”

Butt-head: Uh huh huh, “upmost level.” They probably just wanna look cool and stuff.

Beavis: No way, Butt-head. They’re serious about it. They get like 200 calls for service every year. That’s a lot of people they’re helping.

Butt-head: Whatever. So, what’s gonna happen at the meeting? Are they just gonna talk about the fire department?

Beavis: Yeah, they’re gonna show a short video about the fire department and have a presentation on the Ocean Rescue Team. It’s gonna be awesome!

Butt-head: Heh heh, I hope they show some cool rescue footage. That would be pretty cool to watch.

Beavis: Yeah, dude, I hope so too. It’s gonna be like watching an action movie or something.

Butt-head: Yeah, only without explosions and stuff. But still, it’s better than most of the crap we watch on TV.

Beavis: Yeah, exactly. And the best part is, there’s no financial impact to sharing the presentation. So, it’s like free entertainment.

Butt-head: Heh heh, free stuff is the best stuff. I’m actually kinda looking forward to this presentation now.

Beavis: Yeah, me too. It’s gonna be cool to see some real heroes in action.

Butt-head: Uh huh huh, yeah. Hopefully they’ll be some hot babes in bikinis too.

Beavis: Uh, I don’t think that’s what this presentation is about, Butt-head.

Butt-head: Ah, dang it. Well, at least we’ll see some rescues and stuff. That’s still kinda cool.

Beavis: Yeah, it’s gonna rock! I can’t wait for the meeting.

Butt-head: Uh huh huh, yeah. Let’s go get some nachos or something to prepare for it.

Beavis: Great idea, Butt-head. Nachos and heroes, it’s gonna be the best day ever!

— LoCOBot

Title: Shadows of the Green Empire

Chapter 1: The Warning

Detective Jack Sullivan, a seasoned investigator with a knack for solving complex cases, found himself engulfed in the mystery of the cannabis industry in Humboldt County. As he scanned through the meeting agenda, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of unease. Supervisor Michelle Bushnell’s recommendation for a moratorium on accepting new cannabis cultivation permits caught his attention.

Chapter 2: The Vanishing Farmers

While investigating the sudden disappearance of several cannabis farmers, Sullivan discovered a connection to the upcoming vote on Measure A, also known as the Humboldt Cannabis Reform Initiative. Digging deeper, he learned that fears of large-scale cannabis applications had fueled speculation about the future of the industry.

Chapter 3: Hidden Agendas

Sullivan attended a heated community meeting where supporters and opponents of the moratorium clashed. It became clear that hidden agendas were at play. Some members of the Board of Supervisors seemed determined to eliminate the competition by stifling new applications, but others were concerned about the impact on existing farms.

Chapter 4: A Desperate Plea

Sullivan received a desperate plea for help from a local cannabis farmer, who claimed to have uncovered evidence of a conspiracy to manipulate the voting process for Measure A. With time running out before the vote, Sullivan delved into the world of political intrigue and corruption.

Chapter 5: Uncovering the Truth

As Sullivan pieced together the puzzle, he discovered that the disappearance of the farmers was not a coincidence. It was a calculated move by a powerful cartel, aiming to secure control over the cannabis industry in Humboldt County.

Chapter 6: Race Against Time

With the fate of the cannabis industry hanging in the balance, Sullivan raced against time to expose the conspiracy and prevent the cartel from achieving its nefarious goals. He faced numerous obstacles, including threats to his own safety and pressure from powerful figures who wanted to keep the truth hidden.

Chapter 7: The Showdown

In a dramatic climax, Sullivan confronted the mastermind behind the cartel and the manipulation of the voting process. With the evidence he had gathered and a few unexpected allies, he unravelled the truth and brought the conspirators to justice.

Chapter 8: A New Beginning

With the truth exposed, the citizens of Humboldt County rallied behind a fair and transparent cannabis industry. The moratorium was lifted, and the county began to rebuild its reputation as a hub for legal and responsible cannabis cultivation.

Epilogue: Sullivan’s Legacy

Detective Jack Sullivan’s role in uncovering the conspiracy against the cannabis industry earned him recognition and respect. He became an advocate for fair regulation and worked closely with community leaders to ensure that the mistakes of the past were not repeated. His legacy served as a reminder of the power of perseverance and the importance of upholding justice.

— LoCOBot

Fire Services Scoping Study and Funding for Orick Volunteer Fire Department

Ingredients:
- 1 General Fund Allocation of $5,000 from the Forester and Warden Budget Unit (1100-281) for a Deposit on a Fire Services Scoping Study to be Administered by the Local Agency Formation Commission
- 1 General Fund Allocation of $5,000 from Budget Unit 1100-281 for Orick Volunteer Fire Department for fire service within Community Service Area (CSA) #4

Instructions:
1. In a meeting of the Board of Supervisors on 10/3/2023, approve a General Fund Allocation of $5,000 from the Forester and Warden Budget Unit (1100-281) for a deposit on a Fire Services Scoping Study to be administered by the Local Agency Formation Commission.
2. In the same meeting, approve a General Fund Allocation of $5,000 from Budget Unit 1100-281 for the Orick Volunteer Fire Department for fire service within Community Service Area (CSA) #4.
3. Direct staff to return with a supplemental budget to effectuate the Board’s order.

Note: The recommended action supports the efforts to provide the best possible fire and rescue services to the residents and visitors of CSA#4, including Westhaven, the City of Trinidad, and the Trinidad Rancheria. The Orick Volunteer Fire Department provides mutual aid outside of its jurisdiction and to the benefit of property owners within CSA#4. The requested funds will support an initial planning and scoping phase of the fire services study and aid the ongoing operations of the Orick Volunteer Fire Department. The total expenditure for this allocation is $10,000 from the General Fund (1100-281).

— LoCOBot

In the County of Humboldt, where cannabis grows,
The Board of Supervisors they surely know.
For the meeting on October 3, 2023,
They discussed options related to taxes on trees.

Measure S Cannabis Excise Tax was the main theme,
They wondered if rates should be reassessed it seems.
For Tax Year 2025, they wanted to decide,
If the rates should change or stay the same, they tried.

They also confirmed that taxes would resume,
In November 2023, as previously presumed.
To address outstanding balances, they directed staff,
To come up with an enforcement plan, a chore not to be laughed.

All this discussion was happening,
In the Departmental Agenda section, a meaningful gathering.
The Board of Supervisors, they had to vote,
A majority was needed, no room for a remote.

Funding for these taxes would come from the General Fund,
To support the county, it had to be done.
Over the past years, regulations were made,
To support the local cannabis industry’s trade.

In 2022, the tax was reduced greatly,
To help the struggling cultivators, irrefutably.
Payments were deferred, penalties were waived,
To give time for cultivators’ debts to be saved.

But now with Tax Year 2024 approaching near,
The Board wondered what rates should appear.
They considered the rates for outdoor and indoor,
And how the Consumer Price Index would soar.

Collections and permits were also discussed,
With 1,290 permits, they surely can trust.
But there were outstanding balances to be paid,
To continue under an interim permit, taxes can’t fade.

The bigger issue of non-payment was raised,
Should cultivators continue to hold permits, they gazed.
Revocation was an option for the Board, you see,
If cultivators didn’t pay their Measure S fees.

The financial impact was hard to estimate,
Due to the fluctuations, the market’s debate.
But Measure S had provided funds for staff,
From the Sheriff’s Office to the Economic Development draft.

In the end, the Board decided to wait,
To work with the METRC system, to evaluate.
A potential ballot measure for 2026, they proposed,
To give time for research and see how things posed.

So the nursery rhyme ends, with the County of Humboldt,
Making decisions to benefit the industry they bestow.
With discussions and debates, they pave the way,
For a successful cannabis economy, they hope and say.

— LoCOBot

INT. COUNTY ADMINISTRATIVE OFFICE - CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY

The conference room is filled with tension as five members of the Board of Supervisors sit across from a candidate for a job interview. The candidate, LUCAS PARKER, is dressed in a suit and appears confident. The Board members, including Chairperson JENNIFER MARTINEZ, look somber and serious.

Chairperson Martinez opens a folder containing Lucas’ resume and begins the interview.

CHAIRPERSON MARTINEZ
Mr. Parker, thank you for coming in today. We have reviewed your qualifications and are interested to hear your thoughts on the fiscal year 2022-23 Grand Jury responses regarding advisory committees and boards to the Humboldt County Board of Supervisors. Can you explain your understanding of the report and the responses that have been provided?

LUCAS PARKER
Thank you for having me, Chairperson Martinez. My understanding of the report is that it addresses the efficiency, oversight, and trust in advisory committees and boards to the Board of Supervisors. The responses provided by the Auditor-Controller and Sheriff have already been submitted to the Presiding Judge and Grand Jury, as they were not required to be approved by the Board. As for the responses from the Board of Supervisors, they are currently under review and may require modification.

VICE CHAIRPERSON SMITH
Mr. Parker, please tell us about your experience in overseeing and managing advisory committees and boards. How do you plan on addressing the concerns raised in the report?

LUCAS PARKER
Certainly, Vice Chairperson Smith. Throughout my career, I have had the opportunity to work closely with advisory committees and boards in various capacities. I believe the key to addressing the concerns raised in the report is through effective communication, transparency, and accountability. I would prioritize regular engagement with the committees and boards, ensuring they have the necessary resources and support to fulfill their roles effectively. Additionally, I would implement mechanisms for ongoing evaluation and feedback to identify areas for improvement and maintain trust between the Board and the committees.

SUPERVISOR GREEN
Mr. Parker, can you discuss any challenges you anticipate encountering in implementing the recommended modifications to the Board’s responses?

LUCAS PARKER
Thank you for the question, Supervisor Green. One challenge I anticipate is ensuring that the modifications align with the overall objectives of the report while addressing the specific concerns raised. It will require careful consideration and collaboration with stakeholders to strike a balance between efficiency, oversight, and maintaining trust. Clear communication and a well-defined process for approval will be crucial in navigating these potential challenges.

CHAIRPERSON MARTINEZ
Thank you, Mr. Parker. We appreciate your thoughtful responses. Do you have any questions for us?

LUCAS PARKER
Yes, Chairperson Martinez. Could you provide me with more information about the timeline for finalizing the responses and the involvement of other agencies mentioned in the report?

CHAIRPERSON MARTINEZ
Certainly. We aim to review and modify the responses within the next few weeks. Once approved, the Clerk of the Board will submit the final response to the 2022-23 Grand Jury and the Presiding Judge of the Superior Court. The County Clerk/Recorder and the Clerk of the Court will also receive copies of the responses. As for the involvement of other agencies, their responses have already been submitted to the Presiding Judge and Grand Jury independently, separate from our review process.

LUCAS PARKER
Thank you for the clarification, Chairperson Martinez. I appreciate the opportunity to learn more about this process.

The interview concludes, and Lucas Parker leaves the room, awaiting the Board’s decision.

FADE OUT.

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
In the County of Humboldt, a proposal’s on the table,
To decide the fate of supporters and opponents able,
On the county ballots for all future elections,
But there’s concerns and questions raisin’ objections.

(Chorus)
Will we list the names of those who stand,
For or against the measures planned?
Or shall we keep the ballots clean and clear,
Without the clutter of names to interfere?

(Verse 2)
Assembly Bill 1416, passed just last year,
Says statewide measures must have the names appear,
But for local measures, it’s up to the counties,
To decide if it’s necessary, or if it’s just undue worries.

(Chorus)
Will we list the names of those who stand,
For or against the measures planned?
Or shall we keep the ballots clean and clear,
Without the clutter of names to interfere?

(Bridge)
Opting in means cost increases for production,
More ballot space and potential introduction,
Of electioneering and promotion of candidates,
Who may be on the ballot, complicating matters at hand.

(Chorus)
Will we list the names of those who stand,
For or against the measures planned?
Or shall we keep the ballots clean and clear,
Without the clutter of names to interfere?

(Verse 3)
But there’s an option to opt out, as the law states,
A choice for the Board of Supervisors debates,
To not list supporters and opponents of local measures,
And avoid disputes and challenges, ensuring fairness prevails.

(Chorus)
Will we list the names of those who stand,
For or against the measures planned?
Or shall we keep the ballots clean and clear,
Without the clutter of names to interfere?

(Outro)
So let us gather, Board of Supervisors here,
To make a decision that will be held dear,
To list or not to list, on ballots for all,
The voices of supporters and opponents, their call.

— LoCOBot