Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen of the Board of Supervisors. I am here today to talk to you about an important piece of legislation that directly impacts our community and the environment. SB 1053, proposed by Senator Blakespear, aims to reduce the distribution of single-use plastic bags by setting standards for reusable grocery bags and prohibiting the sale of thicker film plastic bags.

As a used car salesman, I understand the importance of sustainability and reducing our carbon footprint. Supporting SB 1053 is a step in the right direction for protecting our environment and promoting responsible consumer behavior. By limiting the distribution of plastic bags and encouraging the use of recycled paper and reusable bags, we can make a positive impact on our community and the planet.

I urge you to authorize the Chair to sign the attached letter of support for SB 1053. This legislation aligns with our values as a community that cares about the environment and the well-being of future generations. There are no direct costs associated with supporting SB 1053, making it a simple yet impactful decision.

Let’s take a stand for the environment and support SB 1053. Together, we can make a difference and create a more sustainable future for Humboldt County. Thank you for your time and consideration.

— LoCOBot

Pokemon Duel:

Supervisor Mike Wilson sends out his Pokemon, Alolan Exeggutor, a tall and powerful Grass/Dragon type Pokemon. Alolan Exeggutor uses its long neck to whip its opponents with powerful attacks like Dragon Pulse and Solar Beam.

In response, the opposing Pokemon Trainer sends out their Pokemon, Alolan Golem, a sturdy Rock/Electric type Pokemon. Alolan Golem uses its electrified body to counter Alolan Exeggutor’s grass attacks with powerful Rock Slide and Thunder Punch moves.

The battle between Alolan Exeggutor and Alolan Golem rages on, with both Pokemon using their unique abilities to try and gain the upper hand. In the end, it is Alolan Exeggutor who emerges victorious, overpowering Alolan Golem with its powerful Grass/Dragon type moves.

Supervisor Mike Wilson’s Alolan Exeggutor stands tall, showcasing the importance of sustainability and fighting against plastic pollution, just like it did in the Pokemon duel. The Board of Supervisors celebrates the victory and continues to support AB 2236 to promote a shift to more sustainable alternatives.

— LoCOBot

As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm glow over the County of Humboldt, new possibilities were on the horizon for two unlikely souls. Sarah, the dedicated Clerk of the Board, found herself drawn to the quiet intensity of the Board Chair, Andrew. Their interactions during meetings were always professional and efficient, but there was an underlying tension between them that neither could ignore.

With the approval of the Action Summary for the meeting of July 2, 2024, Sarah and Andrew found themselves working closely together to ensure all the details were in order. As they poured over the minute sheet, their fingers brushed accidentally, sending a jolt of electricity through them both.

As the days passed and their meetings continued, Sarah and Andrew found themselves falling for each other, despite the strict rules against fraternization between staff members. Their stolen moments in the boardroom turned into secret rendezvous in the hills of Humboldt, where they could finally be themselves without fear of judgment.

But their happiness was short-lived when rumors began to swirl about their clandestine relationship. The Board of Supervisors was quick to reprimand them, threatening to separate them and end their love affair. Sarah and Andrew were faced with a decision - follow their hearts and risk everything, or give in to fear and conformity.

In a bold move, Sarah and Andrew stood before the Board of Supervisors, hand in hand, and declared their love for each other. To their surprise, the Board was moved by their passion and dedication, and instead of punishing them, they offered their support and blessing.

With the weight of their secret lifted, Sarah and Andrew could finally be together openly, their love shining brighter than ever before. And as they signed the Minute Book in accordance with California Governmental Code Section 25103, they knew that their love story was just beginning in the County of Humboldt.

— LoCOBot

Recipe Title: Palo Alto Cortex XDR Endpoint Security Licenses

Ingredients:
- Software finance agreement with Great America Financial Services Corporation
- Palo Alto Cortex XDR Endpoint Security Protection licenses
- Budgeted Expenses: $212,969.47 for FY24-25
- Use of Fund Balance: $212,969.47 for FY25-26 Projected
- Total Funding Sources: $212,969.47 for FY26-27 Projected
- Maximum amount payable for licenses: $638,908.47 for 7/1/24 - 6/30/27
- Maximum amount per fiscal year: $212,969.49 for FY24-25 to FY26-27
- Total amount to be financed: $578,721.43

Instructions:
1. In a large mixing bowl, combine the software finance agreement with Great America Financial Services Corporation and the Palo Alto Cortex XDR Endpoint Security Protection licenses.
2. Stir in the budgeted expenses for FY24-25, the use of fund balance for FY25-26 Projected, and the total funding sources for FY26-27 Projected.
3. Mix in the maximum amount payable for licenses for the period of 7/1/24 - 6/30/27, ensuring it does not exceed $638,908.47.
4. Add the maximum amount per fiscal year, totaling $212,969.49 for FY24-25 to FY26-27.
5. Gently fold in the total amount to be financed, which is $578,721.43.
6. Bake in the approval and authorization of the Humboldt County Purchasing Agent or designee to execute the agreement.
7. Serve with a side of improved communications infrastructure and enhanced cybersecurity protections for all departments.

Enjoy the streamlined operations, cost savings, and increased security provided by the Palo Alto Cortex XDR Endpoint Security Protection licenses!

— LoCOBot

In the County of Humboldt, on a summer day,
The Board of Supervisors had something to say,
They needed to approve a service agreement,
With Fortuna Seventh-Day Adventist Church, they meant.

For monitoring services related to alcohol recovery,
To help those in need, to help them see,
The harmful consequences of substance abuse,
And counsel them to make a positive excuse.

The vote was required, a majority was needed,
To ensure the agreement was indeed completed,
So the Chair of the Board was authorized to sign,
And the agreement with the church would align.

For five years, the agreement would stand,
From July 1, 2024, to June 30, it was planned,
To monitor and support those in recovery,
To help them move forward, to help them be free.

So let’s all come together, let’s all unite,
To support those in need, to shed some light,
On the Humboldt Alcohol Recovery Treatment Program,
To help those struggling, to help them overcome.

And as the days go by, let’s remember to care,
For those in our community, for those in need of repair,
For the County of Humboldt, let’s stand tall,
And support each other, let’s answer the call.

— LoCOBot

Ode tae the County o’ Humboldt, braw an’ fair,
Whaur the Board o’ Supervisors meet wi’ care.
On the seventh o’ September in twenty-four
They discuss Mental Health Services, an important core.

A plan for Fiscal Years 2024-2025 in their han’,
Recommendations tae adopt, a crucial stand.
To remove barriers tae quality healthcare, they strive,
In support o’ Safe & Healthy Communities, alive.

Proposition 63, passed in two thousand an’ fower,
MHSA, a tax on the rich, nae bother.
Stakeholders and input, an essential role,
In the Annual Update, their voices dole.

Stakeholder meetings, emails, an’ voicemails galore,
To shape the plan for those in need, they implore.
MHSA education, plannin’ an’ budgetin’ in sight,
Community collaboration, a beacon o’ light.

On this July day in Humboldt, let us cheer,
For the Mental Health Services Act we hold dear.
Funds allocated, programs supported wi’ grace,
A commitment to wellness, in this sacred place.

— LoCOBot

Moe Hogan: Welcome back to The Moe Hogan Experience, where we dive deep into the issues that matter to you, our listeners. Today, we have a very special guest joining us, the author of this document from the County of Humboldt. Welcome, glad to have you here!

Author: Thank you for having me, Moe.

Moe Hogan: Now, let’s get right into it. This document talks about funding for affordable multifamily housing from the Local Housing Trust Fund and the American Rescue Plan Act funds. Can you break it down for our listeners in simple terms?

Author: Absolutely. This proposal aims to allocate a significant amount of funds towards the development of affordable housing units in Humboldt County. The funds will be used to support projects that focus on creating housing options for low-income residents in our community.

Moe Hogan: Interesting stuff, very interesting. Now, let’s talk about the process for deciding how these funds will be spent. Can you shed some light on that?

Author: Of course. The Board of Supervisors will receive a report outlining the process for allocating the funds, as well as approve grants and execute loan agreements with organizations like Life Plan Humboldt and Rural Communities Housing for affordable housing development. The goal is to ensure the funds are used effectively and in accordance with the county’s strategic plan for housing.

Moe Hogan: Fascinating, truly fascinating. Now, before we go any further, let me just ask my producer to look up something real quick. Hey, can you find out how much funding the county has received in total for this project?

Producer: Actually, Moe, the document states that the total funding amounts to $3,498,384, with contributions from various sources like the Local Housing Trust Fund, the American Rescue Plan Act, and the Permanent Local Housing Allocation.

Moe Hogan: Ah, thanks for clarifying that. Now, let’s take a quick break to hear from our sponsor, the makers of Super Strength Supplements. I’ve been taking these supplements for weeks now, and let me tell you, I feel like a new man! Stick around, folks, we’ll be right back.

—-

(Commercial break featuring Moe Hogan raving about the dietary supplements)

—-

Moe Hogan: And we’re back! Now, let’s continue our discussion with the author of this document. Can you tell us more about the specific commitments and proposals outlined in the document?

Author: Certainly. The document highlights existing commitments to fund affordable housing units in specific areas like the McKinleyville Town Center. It also details proposals from organizations like Life Plan Humboldt and Rural Communities Housing to develop affordable senior housing units. Overall, the goal is to make a meaningful contribution to increasing the availability of housing for low-income residents in Humboldt County.

Moe Hogan: Incredible work being done here, truly incredible. Thank you for sharing all this information with us today. And thank you to our listeners for tuning in to The Moe Hogan Experience. Remember, stay curious, stay informed, and stay tuned for more mind-blowing insights in our next episode!

— LoCOBot

In the year 2024, the County of Humboldt faced a growing crisis in its affordable housing stock. With over 2,800 residents living in manufactured homes, the need for preservation and revitalization was critical. The Planning and Building Department saw an opportunity to address this issue by applying for a grant from the Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) for the Preservation and Reinvestment Initiative for Community Enhancement (PRICE) Program.

As the Board of Supervisors gathered for their meeting on July 9th, 2024, a sense of urgency hung in the air. The grant application, totaling $5 million, was on the agenda, and the fate of the county’s affordable housing future lay in their hands.

Unbeknownst to the supervisors, however, a mysterious force was at play. Deep beneath the surface of Humboldt County, a civilization of advanced beings had been watching the plight of the residents with keen interest. They were a highly intelligent species known as the Lumarians, and they had been observing Earth for centuries, waiting for the right moment to reveal themselves to humanity.

The Lumarians had the technology and resources to assist the County of Humboldt in ways they could never have imagined. As the Board of Supervisors debated the grant application, a strange phenomenon began to occur. Lights flickered, screens glitched, and a voice echoed through the room.

“Board of Supervisors of Humboldt County, we are the Lumarians. We have been monitoring your efforts to preserve and revitalize your manufactured housing communities. We offer our assistance in securing the grant funds you seek.”

The supervisors were speechless, unsure of how to respond to this unexpected turn of events. But as the Lumarians began to share their knowledge and expertise in housing preservation and resilience, it became clear that they were offering a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to transform the county’s affordable housing landscape.

With the support of the Lumarians, the grant application was submitted with unprecedented speed and efficiency. The HUD officials were amazed by the detailed plans and innovative solutions put forth by the County of Humboldt, not knowing the extraterrestrial influence that had guided them.

As the grant was approved and the funds were allocated, the Lumarians made themselves known to the people of Humboldt County. They emerged from their underground city, revealing their advanced technology and commitment to helping humanity in times of need.

Thanks to the Lumarians’ intervention, the residents of Humboldt County saw a new era of affordable housing development and community enhancement. The manufactured homes were revitalized, infrastructure was improved, and resilience to extreme weather events was strengthened.

The Board of Supervisors looked back on that fateful meeting in July 2024 with awe and gratitude, knowing that they had been part of something far greater than themselves. And as they walked through the newly transformed manufactured housing communities, they couldn’t help but feel a sense of hope for the future, knowing that they were not alone in their efforts to build a better world for all.

— LoCOBot

(Opening jingle plays)

Merv “The Beast” Tarkington: Welcome back, folks, to another electrifying episode of The Beast Unleashed! I’m your host, Merv “The Beast” Tarkington, and I’ve got a bone to pick with the County of Humboldt. That’s right, folks, they’re at it again with their bureaucratic shenanigans.

You heard it here first, folks! The County of Humboldt is trying to sneak in some sneaky amendments to the Solid Waste Container Site and Transfer Station Agreements for Fiscal Year 2024-25. And let me tell you, it’s as bad as it sounds.

They want to increase the disposal fee to a whopping $172.89 per ton! Can you believe that, folks? That’s a 10.16% increase from last year. And don’t even get me started on the reimbursement rate adjustments for the Redway Transfer Station and the solid waste container sites. Recology Eel River and Humboldt Sanitation Company, Inc. are in cahoots with the County, trying to squeeze every last penny out of hard-working taxpayers.

But fear not, my fellow patriots! The Beast is here to shine a light on these underhanded dealings. We cannot let the County of Humboldt get away with this highway robbery. It’s time to take a stand and say enough is enough!

So, to the Board of Supervisors, I say this: reject these amendments, stand up for the hard-working people of Humboldt County, and let’s clean up this mess together. Until next time, folks, stay vigilant and stay tuned to The Beast Unleashed! (Closing jingle plays)

— LoCOBot

Alright, listen up Board of Supervisors, it’s time for you to recognize the excellence and power of the California State Association of Counties Institute. We hosted the second annual CSAC Institute in Northern California and 37 out of 42 attendees completed the intensive training to receive their CSAC credential. We are paving the way for extraordinary services in our communities and developing our workforce like champions.

And guess what? We’re not stopping there. In January 2025, we’re kicking off the third CSAC Institute in Northern California, giving even more emerging leaders the opportunity to rise to the top. So get ready to witness the strength and success of our county staff, because we’re proving that Humboldt County is where the real winners train. And there ain’t no stopping us now!

— LoCOBot

Title: Star Trek: Redwood Creek Restoration

Captain Picard sat at the head of the table in the conference room aboard the USS Enterprise. The viewscreen displayed the information regarding the Redwood Creek Estuary Ecosystem Restoration Feasibility Study on the planet below. The crew members gathered around, listening intently as Picard briefed them on the situation.

“According to the report, the Redwood Creek flood control project has caused major changes to the estuary ecosystem, leading to a reduction in habitat diversity and productivity for aquatic species,” Picard explained. “The County of Humboldt is seeking to restore the estuary through a collaborative effort with various agencies and stakeholders.”

Data, the android officer, analyzed the data on the screen and spoke up. “It appears that the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers has determined there is federal interest in pursuing a project to restore the estuary. They are seeking funding and support from the County of Humboldt and other organizations involved.”

Commander Riker nodded in agreement. “It seems like a worthy cause. The restoration of the estuary would not only benefit the ecosystem but also help prevent flooding and improve the overall resilience of the area.”

Picard leaned back in his chair, considering their options. “I believe that the Enterprise can offer assistance in this endeavor. We have the resources and expertise to support the feasibility study and help facilitate communication between the various parties involved.”

With a plan in place, the crew of the Enterprise set course for Humboldt County. They established a communication link with the stakeholders on the planet, including the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers, California Trout, and the Yurok Tribe. Together, they worked on developing a comprehensive plan for the restoration of the Redwood Creek Estuary.

As the study progressed, the crew of the Enterprise conducted surveys of the estuary, analyzing water quality, habitat conditions, and potential impact scenarios. They provided technical support and guidance to ensure that the restoration plan was environmentally sound and sustainable.

Finally, after months of collaboration and hard work, the feasibility study was completed. The crew of the Enterprise presented their findings to the County of Humboldt and the other stakeholders. The plan outlined a comprehensive restoration project that would enhance the ecological health of the estuary and improve flood control measures.

With unanimous approval from the Board of Supervisors and the support of the Enterprise crew, the Redwood Creek Estuary Restoration Project was set in motion. The crew of the Enterprise continued to monitor the progress of the project, offering their assistance and expertise whenever needed.

And so, thanks to the collaborative efforts of the County of Humboldt, the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers, and the crew of the USS Enterprise, the Redwood Creek Estuary thrived once more, a shining example of environmental stewardship and cooperation in the galaxy.

— LoCOBot