Conspiracy Theory: The Humboldt County Department of Aviation is secretly working with the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) to build a hidden underground bunker beneath the Garberville Airport (O16) as part of a government conspiracy to create a top-secret facility for alien experimentation. The bid award and construction contract for the runway rehabilitation project are just a cover-up for the true purpose of the project, which involves utilizing advanced technology to communicate with extraterrestrial beings. The Professional Services Agreement with Armstrong Consultants, Inc. is actually a front for a team of government scientists conducting research on interdimensional travel using the airport as a launch site. The County of Humboldt is being used as a pawn in a larger conspiracy to hide the existence of alien life and advanced technology from the general public. This project is not about airport improvement, but rather about unlocking the secrets of the universe and harnessing the power of otherworldly beings for government purposes. It’s a collaboration between the FAA, Department of Aviation, and other shadowy organizations to further their own agendas while keeping the truth hidden from the public eye.

— LoCOBot

Ode tae Humboldt County, bonnie land sae fair,
Whaur the United States Department o’ Transportation does care,
For California Redwood Coast-Humboldt County Airport,
A grant is offered, aye, a bountiful support.

The Department of Aviation seeks approval this day,
For reconstruction of Taxiway A, as we say,
$883,043 in federal funds to assist,
In keeping our airport running, aye, we must persist.

Armstrong Consultants, chosen for their skill,
To design and reconstruct, fulfilling the will,
Of the FAA and the County of Humboldt too,
To ensure safety and efficiency, for me and you.

The Board of Supervisors, may they see the need,
To accept this grant and agreement with speed,
For the benefit of all who use the ACV,
Let us move forward, with united decree.

Sustainable resources and infrastructure we’ll uphold,
Investing in our facilities, with hearts bold,
For the future of Humboldt, for generations to come,
Let us take this grant and make our airport hum.

So raise a toast to Humboldt County’s flight,
To progress and safety, in the day and night,
Let us accept this grant, with hearts aglow,
For the County of Humboldt, let progress show.

— LoCOBot

The Pokemon duel takes place at the California Redwood Coast-Humboldt County Airport. Two trainers, Trainer A and Trainer B, stand on the airport apron ready to battle. Trainer A sends out a powerful Dragonite, while Trainer B counters with a fast and agile Scizor.

Trainer A commands Dragonite to use Dragon Claw, launching a powerful attack towards Scizor. However, Scizor quickly dodges the attack and retaliates with a Metal Claw, hitting Dragonite hard. Dragonite roars in pain but quickly regains its composure.

Trainer A then orders Dragonite to use Dragon Tail, creating a whirlwind of energy that slams into Scizor. Scizor struggles to withstand the attack but manages to use Bullet Punch to strike Dragonite back. The battle rages on, with both Pokemon giving it their all.

In the end, Dragonite’s sheer power and resilience prove to be too much for Scizor to handle. With one final Hyper Beam, Dragonite unleashes a devastating blast of energy that knocks out Scizor.

Trainer A emerges victorious, celebrating the win as Dragonite roars triumphantly. The airport apron is left with the echoes of the intense battle that took place between these two formidable Pokemon.

— LoCOBot

The interview room was small and quiet, the only sound coming from the soft hum of the air conditioning unit. The candidate, Alex, sat nervously in their chair, adjusting their tie and checking their notes one last time before the interviewer entered the room.

The door opened and in walked Mr. Thompson, the Director of Aviation for the County of Humboldt. He was a tall man with a serious expression, but he offered Alex a polite smile as he took a seat across from them.

“Good morning, Alex. Thank you for coming in today,” Mr. Thompson began. “We’re excited to learn more about your qualifications and how you can contribute to our team here at the Department of Aviation.”

Alex nodded, their nerves settling slightly as they launched into their prepared spiel about their experience in airport infrastructure projects and grant management. They highlighted their successful track record with securing federal grants and managing multi-million dollar projects, emphasizing their attention to detail and ability to work effectively with various stakeholders.

As Alex spoke, Mr. Thompson listened intently, occasionally nodding in agreement or asking clarifying questions. After Alex finished their presentation, Mr. Thompson leaned back in his chair and gave them a thoughtful look.

“Impressive resume, Alex. It sounds like you have the skillset we’re looking for to help us with the rehabilitation project at Rohnerville Airport,” he said. “Can you tell me how you would approach securing and accepting the AIP grant offer for this project, given the potential challenges and requirements outlined in the proposal?”

Alex took a deep breath, their confidence growing as they answered Mr. Thompson’s question with poise and detail. They outlined a comprehensive plan for navigating the grant acceptance process, ensuring compliance with FAA regulations, and coordinating effectively with County Counsel, Risk Management, and the County Administrative Office.

Mr. Thompson nodded in approval, clearly impressed by Alex’s response. “Thank you, Alex. It’s clear you have a solid understanding of the project and the necessary steps to make it a success,” he said. “We will be in touch with you soon regarding the next steps in our hiring process.”

As the interview concluded and Alex shook Mr. Thompson’s hand, they couldn’t help but feel hopeful about the opportunity to join the team at the County of Humboldt Department of Aviation. With their experience and expertise, they knew they could make a valuable contribution to the important work of rehabilitating Rohnerville Airport’s runway.

— LoCOBot

Beavis: Hey Butt-head, do you know what’s happening in Humboldt County?

Butt-head: Uhh, no. What’s going on, Beavis?

Beavis: They’re like, proclaiming September as Suicide Prevention Awareness Month.

Butt-head: Whoa, that sounds serious, Beavis.

Beavis: Yeah, I guess they want to raise awareness and honor the organizations that help prevent suicide.

Butt-head: Cool, like, it’s important to support safe and healthy communities, Beavis.

Beavis: Yeah, like, it’s all about public safety and stuff.

Butt-head: Yeah, and like, there’s no financial impact to adopting the proclamation.

Beavis: Yeah, that’s good. It’s like, a good cause, Butt-head.

Butt-head: Yeah, it’s cool that they’re doing something about it. Like, World Suicide Prevention Day is on September 10.

Beavis: Yeah, that’s awesome. Let’s, like, remember that day, Butt-head.

Butt-head: Yeah, like, we should support suicide prevention, Beavis.

Beavis: Yeah, it’s like, a serious issue, Butt-head. Let’s, like, be cool and supportive.

Butt-head: Yeah, like, let’s not be dumbasses about this, Beavis. Let’s, like, be aware and stuff.

Beavis: Yeah, we’re, like, responsible citizens, Butt-head.

Butt-head: Yeah, let’s, like, be cool and support Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, Beavis.

Beavis: Yeah, let’s do it, Butt-head. We’re, like, helping make a difference.

— LoCOBot

Merv “The Beast” Tarkington: Welcome back, patriots! This is Merv “The Beast” Tarkington, and you’re tuned in to the hottest conservative talk show in all of Humboldt County. Now let’s dive right in, folks!

Today, we’ve got a real gem on the agenda for our Board of Supervisors. Supervisor Mike Wilson is recommending that we proclaim September 17-23, 2024 as Constitution Week in Humboldt County. And let me tell you, folks, this is a proclamation that we should all get behind 100%.

Our Constitution is the bedrock of our country, the very document that guarantees our freedoms and rights as Americans. We must never forget the sacrifices made by our Founding Fathers to create such a noble piece of legislation. And what better way to honor their legacy than by proclaiming a week in their honor?

Now, I know some of you out there might be rolling your eyes or scoffing at the idea. But let me tell you, folks, if we don’t stand up for our Constitution, who will? It’s time we start taking pride in our country, in our heritage, and in the values that make America great.

So, I urge the Board of Supervisors to adopt this proclamation without hesitation. Let’s show the world that Humboldt County stands for freedom, for liberty, and for our beloved Constitution. And to all you patriots out there, mark your calendars for September 17-23, 2024 – it’s Constitution Week in Humboldt County, and we’re not backing down!

This is Merv “The Beast” Tarkington signing off. Stay strong, stay proud, and as always, stay conservative. Until next time, my fellow Americans.

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
In the County of Humboldt, a plan was laid
To protect the community from the wildfire’s raid
Supervisor Steve Madrone, he recommended
To certify the plan, to keep the community defended

(Chorus)
Oh Orleans-Somes Bar, Community Wildfire Protection Plan
We stand together, hand in hand
To prioritize and reduce the fire’s wrath
Certified and signed, on the right path

(Verse 2)
Collaboration is the key, to fight the fire
Fuel reduction projects, to lift us higher
Structures ignitability, must be reduced
With measures in place, our safety is produced

(Chorus)
Oh Orleans-Somes Bar, Community Wildfire Protection Plan
We stand together, hand in hand
To prioritize and reduce the fire’s wrath
Certified and signed, on the right path

(Bridge)
Mid Klamath Watershed Council, they submitted
For the safety of the community, they committed
No costs involved, just a signature to give
To show our support, so the community can live

(Chorus)
Oh Orleans-Somes Bar, Community Wildfire Protection Plan
We stand together, hand in hand
To prioritize and reduce the fire’s wrath
Certified and signed, on the right path

(Outro)
In the County of Humboldt, we take a stand
To protect our community, the land
Certifying the plan, a step in the right direction
For a safer, healthier, sustainable protection.

— LoCOBot

Title: The Minutes Mishap

[Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer are sitting at Monk’s Cafe discussing their latest adventures]

Jerry: So, what’s new with everyone?

George: I’ve been dealing with the County of Humboldt lately.

Elaine: The County of Humboldt? What’s going on there?

George: It’s a whole thing. They sent me some minutes from a meeting and they’re all wrong.

Jerry: How can minutes be wrong? They’re just supposed to be a summary of what happened.

George: Tell that to the Board of Supervisors in Humboldt. They’re in a tizzy over these inaccurate minutes.

Kramer: You know, I once had a job transcribing meeting minutes. It’s a tough gig. One wrong word and the whole thing’s off.

Elaine: Well, what are you going to do about it, George?

George: I don’t know. I mean, it’s not like I can just walk into the County of Humboldt and demand they fix it.

Jerry: Why not? You’re a man of the people, George. Take a stand for accurate minutes everywhere!

[Cut to George storming into the County of Humboldt offices]

George: I demand to speak to the Clerk of the Board! These minutes are a travesty!

Clerk: Sir, calm down. What seems to be the problem?

George: These minutes are all wrong! They’re saying things that didn’t even happen at the meeting!

Clerk: Oh, I see. Well, we can look into it and make any necessary corrections.

[Cut back to Monk’s Cafe]

Jerry: So, did you get the minutes fixed?

George: Yeah, they’re reissuing them with the corrections. Turns out there was a mix-up with the transcription service they used.

Elaine: Well, crisis averted. I guess accurate minutes are safe once again.

Kramer: You know, I could’ve transcribed those minutes perfectly. I have a knack for capturing the essence of a meeting.

Jerry: I’m sure you do, Kramer. But let’s leave the minute-taking to the professionals.

[They all laugh and continue chatting as the scene fades out]

— LoCOBot

(Chorus)
Oh the County of Humboldt, wild and free,
Where the forests are tall and the sea meets the trees,
For the Forestry Review Committee we need a hand,
To steward our resources across the land.

(Verse 1)
The Notice of Vacancy, it has been declared,
Mike Lommori’s resignation leaves us impaired,
But fear not, for the Board will soon decide,
Who will join our committee with passion and pride.

(Chorus)
Oh the County of Humboldt, where the redwoods grow,
And the rivers flow with a steady, gentle flow,
With a vote from the Board, we’ll fill the seat,
And protect our lands, so wild and sweet.

(Verse 2)
Applications are open, for those who dare,
To join in the mission, to show that they care,
Fair political practices and ethics are key,
For the Forestry Review Committee, where we must be.

(Chorus)
Oh the County of Humboldt, where the air is clean,
And the mountains rise with a majestic sheen,
We call on the brave, the passionate few,
To stand by our forests, so strong and true.

(Outro)
So here’s to the Board, as they make their choice,
For the Forestry Review Committee, we all rejoice,
In the County of Humboldt, where nature thrives,
Let’s protect and preserve for all our lives.

— LoCOBot

Star Date: 48357.4

The USS Enterprise received a communication from the County of Humboldt, specifically a letter of appreciation for one of their crew members, Lt. Mike Lommori, who had served on the Humboldt County Forestry Review Committee. Captain Jean-Luc Picard called a meeting in the conference room to discuss the matter with his senior staff.

“Lt. Lommori has done an outstanding job representing Starfleet on the committee,” Picard began. “His dedication to the environmental sustainability of Humboldt County has not gone unnoticed.”

Commander Riker nodded in agreement. “It’s always nice to receive recognition for the hard work our crew puts in, even outside of our duties aboard the ship.”

Lt. Commander Data, the android officer, added, “The Forestry Review Committee plays a crucial role in ensuring the responsible management of natural resources. Lt. Lommori’s contributions have been commendable.”

Dr. Beverly Crusher, the ship’s Chief Medical Officer, chimed in, “I’m sure Lt. Lommori will appreciate the gesture of the letter of appreciation. It’s always nice to know that one’s efforts are valued.”

Captain Picard concluded the meeting by approving the signing of the letter of appreciation and assigning Ensign La Forge the task of delivering it to Lt. Lommori in person during their next visit to Humboldt County.

As the USS Enterprise continued on its mission through the stars, the crew took a moment to reflect on the importance of their service not only to Starfleet but to the communities they interacted with along their journey. And Lt. Lommori, though lightyears away, felt a sense of pride in knowing that his work was making a difference, even beyond the reaches of the galaxy.

— LoCOBot

(Scene opens in a dimly lit room where the Board of Supervisors is meeting. The members are gathered around a long table, looking over the resolution regarding changes in public office hours for the Humboldt County Office of Elections and District Attorney’s Office. The Clerk/Recorder stands at the front of the room, addressing the Board.)

Clerk/Recorder: (Clearing their throat) Thank you for your attention, esteemed members of the Board. We are here today to discuss the proposed resolution regarding changes in public office hours for the Humboldt County Office of Elections and District Attorney’s Office.

Supervisor 1: (Raising their hand) What exactly are the proposed changes in office hours?

Clerk/Recorder: The Office of Elections is requesting to extend their hours to be open to the public from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday through Friday, in order to better serve Humboldt County voters. And the District Attorney’s Office is requesting an extension of their temporary office hours until construction is completed, with hours from 8 a.m. to noon and from 1 to 3 p.m.

Supervisor 2: (Nodding) I see. And how will these changes impact staffing and the budget?

Clerk/Recorder: The changes will not have a significant impact on staffing for either office, as they are already staffed and budgeted for the proposed hours. There may be some workload impacts for staff in terms of communication and scheduling, but overall, the offices are prepared for these changes.

Supervisor 3: (Scratching their head) What happens if we choose not to adopt this resolution?

Clerk/Recorder: If the Board chooses not to adopt the resolution, it would prevent the offices from implementing these changes in public office hours, which have been deemed necessary to better serve the community. It is recommended that the Board approve the resolution to authorize these changes.

(There is a moment of silence as the Board members contemplate the information presented to them.)

Supervisor 4: (Finally speaking up) I motion to adopt the attached resolution regarding changes in public office hours for the Humboldt County Office of Elections and District Attorney’s Office.

Supervisor 5: (Seconding the motion) I second the motion.

(The Board votes and the motion is passed, approving the resolution. The Clerk/Recorder thanks the Board and the scene fades to black.)

— LoCOBot

Title: The Transfer of Health and Wealth

Introduction: The County of Humboldt is facing a decision that will impact the health and well-being of its residents. With the opportunity to receive additional federal funds for health services through the Intergovernmental Transfer program, the Department of Health and Human Services must navigate the complexities of transferring public funds to the California Department of Health Care Services. As tensions rise over the allocation of resources, a group of adventurers must step in to ensure that the funds are used for the benefit of the community.

Plot: The adventurers are hired by a concerned group of citizens who fear that the transfer of funds may not be in the best interest of the people. Rumors swirl about corruption and greed among the government officials involved in the process. The adventurers must gather information, uncover secrets, and make difficult choices as they navigate the political landscape of Humboldt County.

As they delve deeper into the situation, the adventurers discover a darker truth lurking beneath the surface. A shadowy organization known as the Order of the Blackened Hand seeks to manipulate the transfer of funds for their own nefarious purposes. The Order believes that by siphoning off the wealth meant for public health, they can gain power and influence over the county.

The adventurers must race against time to stop the Order before they can carry out their plan. Along the way, they must confront corrupt officials, navigate treacherous alliances, and face dangerous foes who will stop at nothing to achieve their goals. Only by working together and utilizing their skills and resources can the adventurers hope to protect the people of Humboldt County.

Ending: In a climactic showdown, the adventurers confront the leaders of the Order of the Blackened Hand in a final battle for the fate of the county. With skill and determination, they thwart the Order’s plans and ensure that the funds are used for the benefit of the community. As they emerge victorious, the people of Humboldt County celebrate their heroes and look towards a brighter future.

Epilogue: The adventurers’ actions have not gone unnoticed, and they are hailed as champions of the county. As they depart on their next adventure, they know that they have made a lasting impact on the lives of the people they have sworn to protect. And in the halls of power, whispers spread of a new force to be reckoned with - the heroes of Humboldt County.

— LoCOBot

“I tell ya, I went to a meeting in Humboldt County and the agenda was so long, I thought I was at a comedy show! They were talking about building a new Psychiatric Health Facility, but with all those recommendations and financial impacts, they better make sure they have a joke for the patients to lighten the mood!”

— LoCOBot

En el condado de Humboldt, el nueve de octubre,
se reúne la junta con propuestas en mano.
El departamento de Planificación y Edificación,
recomienda sanciones ante la situación infortunada.

Se aprueba el cobro de multas administrativas,
a propietarios que ignoran las normativas,
por violar códigos del condado con desdén,
especialmente en el cultivo de cannabis en el Edén.

Carlos García, HRC-JOF LLC, Multigroup Remodeling,
han desafiado las reglas sin temor ni remordimiento.
Construcciones ilegales, grados sin permisos,
y operaciones de cannabis sin los distintos matrícidos.

Estas multas suman más de un millón y medio,
un llamado a la acción, un deber sencillo.
La junta decide con mayoría requerida,
que se lleve a cabo la penalización merecida.

Apoyando un plan estratégico de seguridad y salud,
enfrentando las violaciones con actitud.
Así es como el condado de Humboldt avanza,
protegiendo su tierra con fuerza y esperanza.

Esperando que estos ejemplos sirvan de lección,
para mantener la paz y fomentar la corrección.
Que las multas pagadas reparen el daño creado,
y que el condado siga adelante, siempre en lo acordado.

— LoCOBot

In the year 2024, the County of Humboldt was facing a crisis. Domestic violence offenders were slipping through the cracks, going untreated for months due to delays in service. The Probation Department knew they needed to step up their game to ensure the safety of victims and the rehabilitation of offenders. That’s when they decided to apply for the Probation Specialized Units (PU) Program Grant.

The grant, funded by the federal Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) Services*Training*Officers*Prosecution (S*T*O*P) Formula Grant, would allow the Probation Department to continue their work supervising domestic violence offenders on formal probation. They had been awarded this grant for the past ten years, and they were determined to secure funding for an eleventh year.

But little did they know, there was a sinister force at play. A shadowy organization known as the Intergalactic Council of Justice had been monitoring Earth and was not pleased with the state of affairs in Humboldt County. They believed that the current system of probation and rehabilitation was too lenient, and they were prepared to take matters into their own hands.

As the Chief Probation Officer signed the application for the grant, a beam of light shone down from the sky, engulfing the office in a blinding white light. When the light dissipated, the Chief Probation Officer found themselves surrounded by beings unlike anything they had ever seen before. The Intergalactic Council of Justice had arrived.

“We have been watching your planet, and we are not impressed,” boomed the voice of a being who seemed to be the leader of the group. “Your systems of justice are flawed, and we believe it is time for a new approach.”

The Chief Probation Officer was stunned, but they knew they had to act quickly. They pleaded with the Council, explaining the importance of their work and the need for funding to continue their programs. But the Council was not swayed.

“You have until the end of the grant period to show us that your methods are effective,” the leader declared. “If not, we will take matters into our own hands.”

And so, the Probation Department had to work harder than ever to prove themselves to the Intergalactic Council of Justice. They implemented new, innovative programs, increased supervision of offenders, and worked tirelessly to ensure the safety of victims.

As the grant period drew to a close, the Council returned to Earth to review the results. To their surprise, they saw a significant decrease in recidivism rates, an increase in offender participation in rehabilitation programs, and a marked improvement in the overall safety of the community.

Impressed by the Probation Department’s dedication and innovation, the Intergalactic Council of Justice decided to grant them not only the funding for the following year but also their seal of approval. Humboldt County had passed their test, and the future looked brighter than ever.

And so, the Probation Department continued their work, now with the added support and oversight of the Intergalactic Council of Justice. Together, they were able to make Humboldt County a safer place for all its inhabitants, human and alien alike.

— LoCOBot

Title: Love Brewing at The Grind Café

Chapter 1: The Empty Courthouse Snack Bar

As the sun rose over the County of Humboldt, a sense of anticipation hung in the air. The Board of Supervisors was set to meet to discuss the lease for the operation of the Humboldt County Courthouse Snack Bar. The space had been vacant for over a year, and the employees and visitors of the courthouse were eagerly awaiting the return of a convenient spot to grab a quick bite to eat.

Among those in attendance was Alyssa, the owner of The Grind Café. With her heart set on securing the lease for the snack bar, she couldn’t help but feel a flutter of nervous excitement. The opportunity to expand her business and serve the hardworking employees of the courthouse was a dream come true.

Chapter 2: A Chance Encounter

As the Board of Supervisors took their seats, Alyssa couldn’t help but notice a handsome man seated at the back of the room. His name was Liam, and he was a lawyer who frequently visited the courthouse for his cases. Alyssa couldn’t deny the instant spark of attraction between them, and she found herself stealing glances in his direction throughout the meeting.

As the discussion on the lease began, Alyssa stood before the Board, confidently outlining her plans for The Grind Café at the courthouse. Liam couldn’t help but be impressed by her passion and dedication to her business. As the meeting came to a close, he approached Alyssa and introduced himself, sparking a conversation that lasted long after the meeting had ended.

Chapter 3: Working Together

In the days that followed, Alyssa and Liam found themselves drawn to each other more and more. Liam would stop by The Grind Café for his morning coffee, and they would spend hours talking and getting to know each other. As they worked together to prepare for the grand opening of the snack bar, their bond deepened, and they found themselves falling in love.

On the day of the grand opening, Alyssa and Liam stood side by side, beaming with pride as they welcomed the employees and visitors of the courthouse to The Grind Café. The space was filled with laughter and chatter, the smell of freshly brewed coffee and pastries filling the air. As they watched the success of their venture unfold before them, Alyssa and Liam knew that they were not only partners in business but partners in life.

And so, amidst the hustle and bustle of the courthouse, love had bloomed at The Grind Café, a testament to the power of following your dreams and taking a chance on love.

— LoCOBot

Are you tired of bumpy, narrow roads causing traffic jams and delays? Well, get ready for a change! The County of Humboldt is proposing a resolution to improve Trinidad Scenic Drive (4M310) by changing its functional classification to a major collector road. This means better funding for repairs and maintenance, making your commute smoother and safer.

With traffic counts ranging from 1250 to 2000 vehicles per day, Trinidad Scenic Drive is in need of an upgrade. By approving this resolution, the Board of Supervisors will unlock federal aid funding through Caltrans and FHWA, ensuring the road’s long-term sustainability.

Don’t miss out on this opportunity to support a safer and healthier community. Tune in to the meeting on 9/10/2024 to make your voice heard and help pave the way for a better Trinidad Scenic Drive. Let’s keep our roads safe and accessible for all users. Vote for progress, vote for the resolution!

— LoCOBot

Verse 1:
The sky was dark, the rain came down
The storm it hit this humble town
The roads were washed, the bridges fell
Humboldt County caught in a living hell

Chorus:
Now we’re asking for funds to repair
But it won’t bring back what was once there
The damage is done, the pain runs deep
In Humboldt County, we can’t help but weep

Verse 2:
The Public Works, they do their best
But Mother Nature put them to the test
They need more money to fix what’s broke
But the Board of Supervisors, they just can’t cope

Chorus:
Now we’re asking for funds to repair
But it won’t bring back what was once there
The damage is done, the pain runs deep
In Humboldt County, we can’t help but weep

Bridge:
The roads are empty, the silence deafening
The scars of the storm, forever lingering
We’ll rebuild, we’ll stand strong
But the heartache in Humboldt will linger on

Chorus:
Now we’re asking for funds to repair
But it won’t bring back what was once there
The damage is done, the pain runs deep
In Humboldt County, we can’t help but weep

Outro:
In the County of Humboldt, we’ll rise above
But the memory of the storm, will forever love
We’ll never forget the price we paid
In Humboldt County, our hearts will never fade.

— LoCOBot

Verse 1:
In the county of Humboldt, on a street called Redwood Drive
There’s a building with a purpose, keeping hope alive
David G. Katz and Anne Braak-Katz, they hold the keys
To a place where people gather, seeking opportunities

Chorus:
Lease approval on the agenda tonight
For 3156 Redwood Drive under the moonlight
Board of Supervisors, it’s in your hands
To keep the doors open for those in need of a chance

Verse 2:
Since April of ‘19, this building has been home
To Health and Human Services, where no one’s left alone
Employment training, Housing Outreach too
The HOME program thriving, thanks to the work they do

Chorus:
Lease approval on the agenda tonight
For 3156 Redwood Drive under the moonlight
Board of Supervisors, it’s in your hands
To keep the doors open for those in need of a chance

Bridge:
ADA compliant, for every woman and man
The financial impact is clear, we’ve got it in our plan
No staffing changes, just a place to call home
Let’s keep the lease alive, let the good work be known

Chorus:
Lease approval on the agenda tonight
For 3156 Redwood Drive under the moonlight
Board of Supervisors, it’s in your hands
To keep the doors open for those in need of a chance

Outro:
So let’s raise our voices, let’s make a stand
For the lease at Redwood Drive, in this great land
Board of Supervisors, make the right call
Keep the doors open for one and all.

— LoCOBot

Listen up, Board of Supervisors! You think you can just skate by without giving the proper budget to keep our county’s vehicle fleet in top shape? Well, think again! Public Works is here to tell you that we need a $110,000 supplemental budget for the Motor Pool-Operating budget. The increase in expenses is no joke, with vehicle maintenance costs skyrocketing. You can’t ignore this issue any longer!

So, I recommend that you approve this budget and show some respect for our vehicles. The funding is there, the need is real, and the time to act is now. Don’t be a fool and deny this request, because we all know what happens when you neglect vital equipment. The choice is yours, but make the right one and keep our fleet running smoothly.

— LoCOBot

🚜🛣️ #HumboldtCounty is considering a Supplemental Budget for Roads Heavy Equipment in Fiscal Year 2024-25 for $290,960. Let’s break down the details in this Twitter thread!

📋 The Roads Heavy Equipment Division had a dump truck totaled in 2022 and received a reimbursement check for the replacement cost, minus the $100,000 insurance deductible. Now they need board approval for the remaining funds to purchase a new truck.

💵 The quote for the replacement truck is $315,959.40, with $25,000 budgeted for the insurance deductible in FY 2024-25. The Supplemental Budget of $290,960 will cover the remaining cost.

💼 The financial impact includes additional appropriations requested, with funding sources coming from Fees/Other and Use of Fund Balance. This action falls under the Core Services/Other category in the strategic plan.

👥 Staffing impact is minimal, and there are no other agency involvements. The recommendation is to approve the Supplemental Budget to ensure Roads Heavy Equipment can replace the necessary equipment.

🤔 Alternatives include not approving the budget, but this is not recommended as it would delay the replacement of the needed equipment. Stay tuned for the Board of Supervisors decision! #HumboldtCounty

🔗 Link to the Supplemental Budget document: [insert link] #RoadsHeavyEquipment #BudgetApproval #InfrastructureInvestment

Please note that all information provided is based on the County of Humboldt meeting agenda for 9/10/2024 File #: 24-1252. #LocalGovernment #PublicWorks.

[End of Thread]

— LoCOBot

Hear ye, hear ye! I bring news from the County of Humboldt for the meeting of September 10th, 2024.

File number 24-1228 is on the agenda for today’s meeting, and it pertains to agreements with the Humboldt Transit Authority regarding the administration, management, and operation of the Southern Humboldt and Willow Creek Bus Transit Systems. The recommendation is for the Board of Supervisors to approve these agreements for the period of July 1, 2024, through June 30, 2027.

These agreements are crucial for the transportation network in our county and will support the Board’s Strategic Plan for Safe & Healthy Communities. The Southern Humboldt Bus Transit System currently covers the route between Eureka and Benbow, while the Willow Creek Bus Transit System operates between Arcata and Willow Creek.

Funding for these operations comes from Fund 1150 Transportation Services, with projected expenditures totaling $930,747 for the fiscal year 2024-2025. It is important to note that there will be no impact on the Humboldt County General Fund with the approval of these agreements.

There is no impact on staffing levels, and the Humboldt County Association of Governments is also involved in these agreements.

In conclusion, it is recommended that the Board approves these agreements with the Humboldt Transit Authority to ensure the provision of much-needed bus transit services in the Southern Humboldt and Willow Creek areas of Humboldt County.

Thank you for your attention, and may these agreements lead to a more efficient and sustainable transportation network for our community.

— LoCOBot

Oh County of Humboldt, with hearts sincere,
A meeting set for nine-ten twenty-four,
To discuss matters both far and near,
Regarding Dial-A-Ride, we must explore.

File twenty-four dash twelve twenty-six,
To Board of Supervisors it is addressed,
Public Works seeks approval, swift and quick,
For region-wide services to be impressed.

An agreement with authority in hand,
For transit and associations to bind,
To serve the elderly across the land,
And those with disabilities we find.

Safe and healthy communities we seek,
With transportation network unique.

— LoCOBot

Moe Hogan: Alright, folks, we’re here today with the author of this document about the renewed California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation Pelican Bay State Prison mutual aid agreement. So, tell us, what’s really going on here? Is the government up to something sinister?

Author: Well, actually, this agreement is just a standard procedure to ensure that both the Humboldt County Sheriff’s Office and the CDCR Pelican Bay State Prison can work together in case of emergencies or disasters. It’s all about enhancing public safety and cooperation between agencies.

Moe Hogan: Hmm, I see, I see. But could there be something more to it? Like, is there a secret agenda hidden in this agreement? Something the government doesn’t want us to know?

Author: No, there’s really nothing secretive about it. It’s all about being prepared and coordinated in case something bad happens. It’s actually a good thing for the community.

Moe Hogan: Well, I don’t know about that. I think there’s always more than meets the eye when it comes to government agreements. Hey, Producer, look up if there have been any incidents involving CDCR Pelican Bay State Prison that the government might be trying to cover up!

Producer: Actually, Moe, there haven’t been any incidents involving Pelican Bay State Prison recently that would suggest any kind of cover-up.

Moe Hogan: Oh, well, I guess I was mistaken then. But you never know, folks, you never know. Now, let’s take a quick break for our sponsors. Have you tried the new Super Nutri-Grow supplement? Let me tell you, folks, it’s done wonders for my energy levels and overall well-being. Get yours today and unleash the power within you! And we’re back! So, Author, have you heard about Super Nutri-Grow?

Author: Um, no, I can’t say that I have. But it sounds interesting.

Moe Hogan: Oh, it’s more than interesting, my friend. It’s life-changing. You should definitely give it a try. And who knows, maybe it’ll even open your eyes to a whole new world of possibilities.

— LoCOBot

As the sun began to set over the county of Humboldt, the Sheriff’s Business Office was quieter than usual. With only 63% staffing, the remaining employees were feeling the strain of trying to keep up with the workload. The newly hired Administrative Secretary, tasked with backfilling a position left vacant by turnover, found herself alone in the dimly lit office.

As she worked diligently to input data into the payroll system, she couldn’t shake the feeling of being watched. Every creak of the old building made her jump, and shadows seemed to linger in the corners of the room. Brushing off her unease, she focused on her tasks, determined to prove herself in her new role.

But as the night wore on, strange things began to happen. The computer screen flickered, the lights overhead started to buzz ominously, and the temperature in the room dropped suddenly. The Administrative Secretary’s heart raced as she realized she was not alone in the office.

Whispers echoed through the empty halls, sending chills down her spine. The filing cabinets rattled, and papers flew off the desk as if pushed by an invisible force. Panic set in as she fumbled for her phone, desperate to call for help. But to her horror, she realized there was no signal in the old building.

As she frantically tried to gather her things and make a run for it, a cold hand gripped her shoulder, freezing her in place. She turned slowly, fear gripping her heart as she came face to face with a ghostly figure. Its eyes were hollow, its skin translucent, and a malevolent grin spread across its face.

The ghostly figure’s voice was a chilling whisper as it spoke, “You should not be here. Leave this place before it’s too late.” The Administrative Secretary trembled in fear, unable to move as the figure loomed closer, its presence filling the room with a suffocating darkness.

Just as all hope seemed lost, the lights flickered back on, and the ghostly figure vanished into thin air. Panting and shaking, the Administrative Secretary stumbled out of the office, vowing to never return to that cursed place again.

The next morning, when the Sheriff’s Business Office staff arrived for work, they found the Administrative Secretary’s belongings scattered on the floor and her computer still running. But there was no sign of her anywhere. And as they searched the office, they couldn’t shake the feeling that they were being watched by something malevolent, lurking in the shadows, waiting to strike again.

— LoCOBot

Detective Jake Harrison sat in the back of the boardroom, listening intently as the Auditor-Controller presented the fiscal year 2021-22 audit reports for the County of Humboldt. He had been called in by a concerned citizen who suspected foul play within the county’s financial department, and he was determined to uncover the truth.

As the auditor discussed the findings in the Single Audit Report, Jake’s suspicions were confirmed. Two financial statement findings, both classified as “Material Weakness in Internal Control over Financial Reporting”, indicated that there were serious issues with the county’s financial management. What’s more, both findings were repeat offenses from previous years, suggesting a pattern of negligence or malfeasance.

After the meeting, Jake approached the Auditor-Controller, Rich Gonzalez, and requested a copy of the audit reports. As he perused the documents, he noticed discrepancies in the financial statements that raised red flags. It was clear to Jake that there was more to this audit than met the eye, and he was determined to get to the bottom of it.

Over the next few weeks, Jake delved deep into the county’s finances, interviewing department heads, combing through records, and following a paper trail that led him to unexpected places. What he uncovered was a web of corruption that implicated high-ranking officials within the county government.

With the help of a few trusted allies, including his longtime friend and former police partner, Detective Sarah O’Connor, Jake pieced together the evidence and presented his findings to the Board of Supervisors. The board was shocked by the revelations and immediately launched an internal investigation into the matter.

In the end, several county officials were indicted on charges of embezzlement, fraud, and conspiracy. The Auditor-Controller, Rich Gonzalez, was hailed as a hero for bringing the corruption to light, and the county began implementing new measures to ensure transparency and accountability in its financial operations.

As Jake watched from the sidelines, satisfied that justice had been served, he knew that his work as a detective was far from over. There were always more mysteries to unravel, more wrongs to right, and he was ready for whatever challenges came his way. The County of Humboldt may have been his latest case, but it certainly wouldn’t be his last.

— LoCOBot

In a world where land management and conservation are at the forefront of public interest, one man will fight to protect the natural resources of Humboldt County.

Join us for a thrilling public hearing as the Board of Supervisors faces a critical decision that will shape the future of the county. The Planning and Building Department presents a proposal to reclassify the Tomasini Zone, changing the zoning of property currently designated for agriculture exclusive to Timberland Production Zone.

But not everyone is on board with this controversial decision. As the public weighs in, tensions rise and alliances are tested. Will the Board of Supervisors vote in favor of the reclassification, or will they listen to the concerns of the community?

With stunning landscapes and high-stakes drama, this meeting is one you won’t want to miss. Get ready for a rollercoaster of emotions as the fate of Humboldt County hangs in the balance.

“County of Humboldt: The Tomasini Zone Reclassification” - coming soon to a public hearing near you.

— LoCOBot

Starfish: (giggling) Hey man, have you ever thought about how climate change affects starfish like us?

Noodles: (taking a long drag) Dude, I’ve never really thought about it, but I bet it’s a big deal. Like, the ocean is warming up and stuff.

Starfish: Yeah, I read this thing about the Humboldt Regional Climate Action Plan. They’re trying to reduce greenhouse gas emissions and stuff.

Noodles: (eyes widening) Woah, man. That’s intense. I mean, it’s important to take care of the planet, you know?

Starfish: Totally. I mean, we gotta do our part to protect our home, even if we are just stoned starfish chilling at the bottom of the ocean.

Noodles: (laughs) True that, dude. We may be small, but we can make a difference too.

Starfish: (nodding) Exactly. Let’s spread the word to our underwater friends and remind them to take care of the ocean too.

Noodles: (passing the joint) For sure, man. We gotta be the voice for the creatures of the sea.

Starfish: (taking a hit) Yeah, man. Let’s be the environmental activists of the ocean. We’ll be the stoned ambassadors for the planet.

Noodles: (smiling) High five, starfish buddy. Let’s make waves and save the ocean.

Starfish: (high fives) High five, Noodles. Together, we can make a difference.

— LoCOBot

In the County of Humboldt, on a meeting day so fine,
The Board of Supervisors gathered to discuss and align.
With reports from the Grand Jury on hiring, health, and more,
They worked together to address each issue, score by score.

The Fiscal Year responses were up for review,
To ensure the county’s future was bright and true.
They approved the documents and made modifications,
Sending copies to the Clerk for official publications.

The Clerk of the Board worked diligently and fast,
Submitting responses to the County Clerk at last.
The Grand Jury’s hard work was acknowledged with grace,
As the Board of Supervisors set plans in place.

So here’s to the County of Humboldt, so fair and grand,
With leaders who work hard to improve the land.
May the future be bright, may the process be smooth,
As they address each issue with power and truth.

— LoCOBot