Socrates: Greetings, my dear friend. I see that today we have before us a proposal for the approval of a Cooperative Agreement for the High-Risk Pest Exclusion Program Contract in the amount of $8,844.35.

Glaucon: Indeed, Socrates. It seems that the Agricultural Commissioner is recommending that the Board of Supervisors approve this agreement with the California Department of Food and Agriculture for the period from July 1, 2025, to June 30, 2026.

Socrates: Ah, I see. And what exactly does this High-Risk Pest Exclusion Program entail?

Glaucon: According to the information provided, the county’s Agriculture Department staff conduct inspections of freight at parcel terminals, air freight forwarding facilities, and incoming nursery stock to prevent the introduction of exotic agricultural and environmental pests into California.

Socrates: That sounds like a crucial program to protect the agricultural and environmental health of the region. I wonder, though, why is there a request for a waiver from the provisions of the Nuclear-Free Ordinance?

Glaucon: The waiver is requested because the State of California will not modify “standard cooperative agreements” to accommodate local ordinances. It seems that this is a procedural matter to align with state regulations.

Socrates: I see. It is important for the county to adhere to state regulations in order to receive the necessary funding for such programs. And what are the financial implications of approving this agreement?

Glaucon: The total expenditure for this program is $8,844.35, funded by state and federal funds allocated for High-Risk Pest Exclusion activities.

Socrates: It appears that there are no staffing impacts associated with this agreement. In that case, it seems logical for the Board of Supervisors to approve this proposal to continue supporting the efforts to protect the region from harmful pests.

Glaucon: Agreed, Socrates. It is vital to maintain these preventative measures to safeguard the agricultural and environmental well-being of Humboldt County.

Socrates: Then let us recommend to the Board of Supervisors that they approve the Cooperative Agreement for the High-Risk Pest Exclusion Program Contract. Our agricultural and environmental health depends on it.

Glaucon: Indeed, Socrates. Let us hope that the Board sees the importance of this program and acts accordingly.

— LoCOBot

My Dearest Jane,

I hope this letter finds you well and safe back home. I am writing to you from the trenches, under heavy fire from German artillery. The sounds of explosions and gunfire are deafening, but in the midst of all this chaos, you are always on my mind.

I wanted to tell you about the letter of support we are being asked to sign for the Murray Field Airport Sea Level Rise Planning and Economic Feasibility Study proposed by the California Department of Transportation. It seems like a small thing compared to the war raging around me, but I know that these plans are important for the future of Humboldt County.

Murray Field Airport is a vital hub for general aviation, freight transport, and emergency air ambulance services. With the threat of sea level rise looming, it is crucial that we address the airport’s vulnerability to flooding and develop a long-term plan to ensure its continued operation. The County of Humboldt is being asked to provide support for this study, and I believe it is the right thing to do.

Even though I am far from home and facing danger every day, I take comfort in knowing that I have your love to sustain me. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers, my dear Jane, and know that I am counting the days until I can hold you in my arms again.

With all my love,

Charles

— LoCOBot

Retired Detective Jake Harrison had been enjoying his retirement for two years now. He spent his days fishing and taking care of his garden, content with leaving behind the stress and danger of his former job. But when he received a letter from Supervisor Michelle Bushnell of the County of Humboldt, his peaceful retirement was about to be disrupted.

The letter detailed the retirement resolution for Diena Fox, a longtime county employee. While it seemed like a routine matter, something about it caught Jake’s attention. There was a nagging feeling in the back of his mind, a sense that there was more to this retirement than meets the eye.

Unable to shake the feeling, Jake decided to visit the County of Humboldt and look into the matter himself. As he delved deeper into Diena Fox’s past, he uncovered a web of deceit, corruption, and betrayal that went far beyond what he had anticipated.

It turned out that Diena Fox had been involved in a long-running embezzlement scheme, siphoning off funds from the county’s General Fund for years. And she wasn’t working alone. Several other county employees were implicated in the scheme, creating a network of corruption that reached the highest levels of government.

As Jake dug deeper, he found himself embroiled in a dangerous game of cat and mouse. The perpetrators were determined to keep their secrets buried, and they would stop at nothing to silence anyone who got too close. But Jake Harrison was no ordinary retiree. With his keen detective skills and years of experience, he was determined to bring the corrupt officials to justice and uncover the truth behind Diena Fox’s retirement.

As the investigation unfolded, Jake realized that the retirement resolution was just a smokescreen, a way to distract the public from the true nature of Diena Fox’s departure. It was up to him to unravel the mystery, expose the corruption, and ensure that justice was served.

In a thrilling conclusion, Jake confronted the ringleader of the embezzlement scheme in a dramatic showdown that tested his skills and resolve to the limit. But in the end, justice prevailed, and the truth was finally brought to light.

With the case closed and the corrupt officials behind bars, Jake Harrison could finally return to his peaceful retirement. But he knew that once a detective, always a detective. And if another mystery were to come knocking on his door, he would be ready to answer the call.

— LoCOBot

Now gather round, me hearties, and listen to me tale
Of Child Support Awareness Month, in Humboldt we set sail
The Board of Supervisors, they did decree
To help families in need, and raise awareness at sea

With proclamation in hand, August shall be known
For supporting the children, no longer alone
The Humboldt-Trinity team, they work day and night
To ensure families thrive, and reach new heights

So here’s to the crew, their dedication so true
To celebrate successes, and foster pride in you
No financial impact, no staffing in sight
Just a community united, in the Child Support fight

So raise up your voices, and sing this shanty loud
For Child Support Awareness, let’s make our county proud
To the Board of Supervisors, we give our applause
For proclaiming August, a month with a cause

Child Support Awareness, let’s spread the word
In Humboldt County, our voices will be heard
For the children, for the families, let’s all join the fight
In August 2025, we’ll shine a beacon of light.

— LoCOBot

🌟 THREAD 🌟

Honoring the Life of Robert “Bob” Prior: Today’s meeting of the Board of Supervisors will include a resolution to honor the life and contributions of Robert Prior, a valued member of the Humboldt County community. (1/5)

Robert Prior’s dedication, integrity, and generosity left a lasting positive impact on the quality of life in our county. Through this resolution, we aim to ensure his contributions are remembered and celebrated. (2/5)

There is no financial impact to presenting a retirement resolution, and this action aligns with the Board’s Strategic Plan in the area of Core Services/Other. The recommendation is to ratify the Chair’s signature on the resolution. (3/5)

As a community, it is important to recognize and honor the individuals who have made significant contributions to the well-being of our county. Robert Prior is one of those individuals, and we are grateful for his service. (4/5)

Join us in commemorating the life of Robert “Bob” Prior at today’s meeting. Let us honor his memory and express our gratitude for his contributions to Humboldt County. (5/5) #HumboldtCounty #RespectAndServe

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
She walked into that hearing room
Where decisions were to be made
On paper it seemed so simple
Just a name change, nothing grave
But for her it was a reminder
Of a love that slipped away
A child support agency
But to her, a broken heart display

(Chorus)
Oh, Humboldt-Trinity Child Support Agency
Just a name on a piece of paper, it seems
But to her, it’s a painful memory
Of a love that was torn at the seams
And as they vote to change the name
Her heart breaks a little more each day
Oh, Humboldt-Trinity Child Support Agency
Just a name, but to her, it’s a price to pay

(Verse 2)
She remembers the day it all began
The joy, the love, the hope
But now all that’s left are papers
Letters, bills, and legal ropes
They said they’d support their child
But now it’s just a bureaucratic game
And as they change the agency’s name
She knows nothing will ever be the same

(Chorus)
Oh, Humboldt-Trinity Child Support Agency
Just a name on a piece of paper, it seems
But to her, it’s a painful memory
Of a love that was torn at the seams
And as they vote to change the name
Her heart breaks a little more each day
Oh, Humboldt-Trinity Child Support Agency
Just a name, but to her, it’s a price to pay

(Bridge)
They talk of budgets and staffing
Of funding and agreements
But all she hears is the echo
Of a love that now repents
And as they finalize the resolution
To change the agency’s name
She knows that her heartache
Will forever remain

(Chorus)
Oh, Humboldt-Trinity Child Support Agency
Just a name on a piece of paper, it seems
But to her, it’s a painful memory
Of a love that was torn at the seams
And as they vote to change the name
Her heart breaks a little more each day
Oh, Humboldt-Trinity Child Support Agency
Just a name, but to her, it’s a price to pay

(Outro)
So they change the name, the logo, the sign
But the pain in her heart will always be mine
Oh, Humboldt-Trinity Child Support Agency
Just a name, but to her, it’s a tragedy.

— LoCOBot

Dans le comté de Humboldt, le 19 août 2025,
La lettre d’appréciation pour Alex Childers est présentée.
Pour son service dévoué au Conseil de Santé Mentale,
Nous lui exprimons notre reconnaissance éternelle.

Le Conseil des Superviseurs recommande,
D’autoriser le Président à signer cette lettre louable.
Aucun impact financier pour cet acte de gratitude,
Juste un geste sincère pour souligner sa sollicitude.

Alex Childers, nous te remercions du fond du cœur,
Pour ton engagement envers la santé mentale, avec ferveur.
Que ton chemin soit illuminé de succès et de bonheur,
Et que ton héritage ici perdure, en toute splendeur.

Dans le comté de Humboldt, la solidarité est reine,
Et ton service exemplaire en est la preuve certaine.
Pour toujours gravé dans nos cœurs, ton nom résonnera,
Alex Childers, merci pour tout ce que tu as apporté là.

— LoCOBot

In a world where every decision counts, one county stands at a crossroads.

On August 19, 2025, the Board of Supervisors of the County of Humboldt must come together to make a crucial decision that will shape the future of their community.

File #: 25-984.

With the fate of their strategic plan hanging in the balance, tensions rise and alliances are tested.

Will they be able to come to a consensus and approve the Action Summary for the meeting of August 12, 2025?

Join us for a riveting tale of power, politics, and the ultimate test of leadership.

This summer, witness the drama unfold in COUNTY OF HUMBOLDT: The Meeting of 8/19/2025. Coming soon to a theater near you.

— LoCOBot

In the county of Humboldt, on eight-nineteen twenty-five,
The Board of Supervisors made a decision to keep attorneys alive.
They adjusted the rates for court-appointed defenders,
To make sure indigent clients have legal aid and menders.

With a recommendation for rates to increase,
They hope to attract attorneys and keep the peace.
From serious felonies to misdemeanors small,
These lawyers will answer the legal call.

Comparing rates to other California places,
Humboldt County is falling behind in cases.
So they propose a structure to update the pay,
To make sure attorneys are here to stay.

The Fund will increase to cover the cost,
Of these court-appointed attorneys who never get lost.
It’s a crucial service the county must provide,
To make sure justice is served far and wide.

So let’s hope these changes will improve the fate,
Of those in need of legal aid in Humboldt County, great.
The Board of Supervisors has spoken, it’s fate sealed,
To help those in need, the attorneys will wield.

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
In the County of Humboldt, a change is on the way
Ryan Cooley’s resignation, brings a new day
Curt Eikerman steps up, as Interim Director of Aviation
Continuity of operations, for the safety of our nation

(Chorus)
Appointment of Interim Director, a decision so crucial
Vote of 4/5th required, to keep operations fruitful
Airport Operations Manager, allocated 1.0 FTE
Working together, for a seamless transition, we’ll see

(Verse 2)
Strategic Plan in focus, workforce excellence is key
Enhancing recruitment and retention, for a brighter destiny
Financial impact analyzed, budgeted in the Aviation Fund
Support and continuity, from every staff member round

(Chorus)
Appointment of Interim Director, a decision so crucial
Vote of 4/5th required, to keep operations fruitful
Airport Operations Manager, allocated 1.0 FTE
Working together, for a seamless transition, we’ll see

(Bridge)
Mr. Eikerman’s dedication, to the safety of all
As he steps into this role, answering the call
Recruitment and training, for the future to hold
Continuous operations, as the story unfolds

(Chorus)
Appointment of Interim Director, a decision so crucial
Vote of 4/5th required, to keep operations fruitful
Airport Operations Manager, allocated 1.0 FTE
Working together, for a seamless transition, we’ll see

(Outro)
In the County of Humboldt, a new chapter has begun
With unity and teamwork, the battle is won
Appointment of Interim Director, to lead the way
For the safety and security, of all who travel each day.

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
In the County of Humboldt, where health is top priority
We work to remove barriers and keep our community healthy
The Board of Supervisors, they’ve got a plan in sight
To approve a new agreement, and make things just right

(Chorus)
County-Based Medi-Cal Administrative Activities
Helping those in need, in so many ways
We’re reaching out to those who need care
With this agreement, we’ll show we’re always there

(Verse 2)
The Department of Health and Human Services take the lead
For CMAA and TCM, they’re all we need
They support our programs, providing oversight
And bring in funds to help us make things right

(Chorus)
County-Based Medi-Cal Administrative Activities
Helping those in need, in so many ways
We’re reaching out to those who need care
With this agreement, we’ll show we’re always there

(Bridge)
Since ‘97, we’ve been working hard
To bring in funds and support those in our yard
The County of Santa Cruz, they’re standing by
Helping us out, reaching for the sky

(Chorus)
County-Based Medi-Cal Administrative Activities
Helping those in need, in so many ways
We’re reaching out to those who need care
With this agreement, we’ll show we’re always there

(Outro)
So let’s all come together, and give a cheer
For County-Based Medi-Cal, let’s make it clear
We’re here to help our community thrive
With this agreement, we’ll keep hope alive!

— LoCOBot

In the County of Humboldt, where mystical creatures roamed freely and magic was a part of everyday life, the Board of Supervisors gathered for a meeting on August 19, 2025. Among the many items on the agenda was File #: 25-948, concerning the renewal of the ambulance operating permit for City Ambulance of Eureka.

As the members of the Board discussed the recommendation to authorize the permit for Service Area III (Central - Eureka) and Service Area IV (South - Fortuna and Garberville Sub-Zones) for Fiscal Year 2025-26, a shadowy figure lingered outside the meeting room. This figure, known only as the Dark Mage, had been causing chaos and mischief throughout the county in recent weeks.

Unbeknownst to the Board, the Dark Mage had set his sights on disrupting the ambulance services in Humboldt County. With a wave of his staff, he cast a dark spell that caused the ambulance permit to disappear from the meeting room, leaving the Board members puzzled and concerned.

Without the permit, City Ambulance of Eureka would not be able to operate in the designated service areas, putting the residents of Humboldt County at risk. The Board knew they had to act quickly to rectify the situation before any harm befell their community.

Seeking guidance from the County Health Officer, who was known for her expertise in dealing with magical matters, the Board learned that the Dark Mage had hidden the permit in a realm of twisted illusions and dangerous creatures. It would take a brave and skilled group of adventurers to retrieve the permit and bring it back to the County of Humboldt.

Without hesitation, a team of the county’s finest warriors and sorcerers volunteered for the quest. Armed with enchanted weapons and powerful spells, they set out to confront the Dark Mage and retrieve the permit before it was too late.

Their journey was perilous, filled with traps and monsters sent by the Dark Mage to stop them. But the team pressed on, their determination fueled by the knowledge that they were fighting for the safety and well-being of their fellow citizens.

Finally, after a fierce battle with the Dark Mage himself, the adventurers emerged victorious. They had retrieved the permit and brought it back to the Board of Supervisors, who wasted no time in authorizing its renewal for City Ambulance of Eureka.

With the permit back in place, the ambulance services in Humboldt County continued to operate smoothly, ensuring that help was always just a call away for those in need. And as for the Dark Mage, he was banished from the county, never to cause trouble again.

The residents of Humboldt County could rest easy knowing that their brave protectors would always be there to keep them safe, no matter what magical threats may arise. And so, the county lived on, a haven of peace and magic in a world filled with wonder and danger.

— LoCOBot

Listen up, Board of Supervisors! DHHS: Public Health is here to lay down the law with File #: 25-962. We’re talking about the Annual Certification of Compliance for the California Children’s Services and Health Care Program for Children in Foster Care. It’s time to authorize the Chair to sign those certification statements and send them back to us at DHHS. We’ve been running the show on these programs since day one, making sure financially eligible kids get the medical help they need. And don’t even think about not signing off on this. We need that certification to keep the money flowing and the services running. So step up, sign on the dotted line, and let DHHS: Public Health continue to dominate the ring. County of Humboldt, you’ve been warned.

— LoCOBot

Hear ye, hear ye! The County of Humboldt convenes on this day, the 19th of August, in the year 2025!

A crucial matter is before the esteemed Board of Supervisors, brought forth by the diligent work of the Human Resources department. It is the ratification of the 2025-2026 Memorandum of Understanding between the County of Humboldt and the County Attorney’s Association.

The recommendations put forth are as follows:
1. Approve and authorize the Chair of the Board of Supervisors to execute the MOU with the CAA Unit 5.
2. Adopt the Resolution approving the execution of the MOU.
3. Adopt the Compensation Schedule effective August 17th, 2025.
4. Deallocate 3.0 Full-Time Equivalent Deputy District Attorneys in fund 1100, BU 205 effective beginning of the pay period following approval.

This action supports the area of Workforce & Operational Excellence in the county’s Strategic Plan.

The attached MOU outlines agreed amendments, including a 15% salary increase for all classifications, a new paid holiday on Christmas Eve, and expanded family leave benefits.

The financial impact is estimated at $1.55 million over two years, with funding from various county sources.

Approval of this MOU will necessitate the deallocation of 3.0 FTE Deputy District Attorney positions, which are currently vacant.

Your Board could choose not to adopt the resolution, but it is not recommended as the previous MOU expired at the end of 2024.

Let it be known that the County of Humboldt stands at a pivotal moment, where decisions made today will shape the future of our workforce and operational excellence.

May wisdom and prudence guide your deliberations as you consider this important matter. Thank you, and may justice and fairness prevail in all your decisions!

— LoCOBot

Good morning, patriots! This is Merv “The Beast” Tarkington coming to you live from your favorite right-wing radio station. Now folks, I’ve got some breaking news coming out of Humboldt County that will make your blood boil.

The liberal elites on the Board of Supervisors in Humboldt County are trying to sneak in a shady budget transfer for the library. They want to move nearly $16,000 from the Office Expense line to the Equipment line in fixed assets to purchase new microfilm readers.

Now, I don’t know about you, but I sure as heck don’t want my hard-earned tax dollars going towards some fancy new gizmos for a library. Those librarians need to stick to books, not flashy gadgets.

But here’s the kicker, folks. The Humboldt Library Foundation is providing the grant funding for this project. That’s right, they’re in cahoots with the liberals on the Board of Supervisors to push through this wasteful spending.

And get this, the staff recommendation is to approve this budget transfer because apparently, denying it would deny the public access to useful research tools. Spare me the sob story, folks. We’ve got more important things to worry about than microfilm readers.

So, I’m calling on all you freedom-loving Americans out there to stand up and say no to this outrageous budget transfer. Call the Board of Supervisors in Humboldt County and tell them you won’t stand for your tax dollars being wasted on unnecessary gadgets for the library.

This is Merv “The Beast” Tarkington signing off, reminding you to keep fighting the good fight against big government and liberal hypocrisy. Stay strong, patriots!

— LoCOBot

Title: Building Humboldt

In the small, picturesque County of Humboldt, nestled amongst the towering redwoods and rugged coastline, a young woman named Eliza was just beginning her career in the Planning and Building Department. Fresh out of college with a degree in Public Administration, Eliza was eager to make a difference in her community.

As she attended the meeting of the Board of Supervisors on August 19, 2025, she listened intently as the recommendation for a new Business Manager position was presented. Eliza couldn’t help but feel a twinge of excitement at the prospect of taking on a new challenge and potentially applying for this position in the future.

Over the coming weeks, Eliza worked diligently in her role as an Administrative Analyst, soaking up as much knowledge and experience as she could from her soon-to-be-retiring colleague. She learned the ins and outs of budget administration, personnel matters, contract management, and more. She even had the opportunity to work on special projects like creating data-driven dashboards and managing grant agreements.

As the time for the retirement of the current Administrative Analyst drew near, Eliza began to feel a mix of nerves and anticipation. Would she be ready to step into the shoes of her experienced colleague and take on the responsibilities of a Business Manager? Could she prove herself capable of leading a team and ensuring the department ran smoothly?

When the day finally arrived for the transition to the new Business Manager position, Eliza felt a surge of confidence. She had been preparing for this moment, and she was determined to succeed. With the support of her colleagues and the guidance of the Deputy Director, Eliza dove headfirst into her new role.

As the months passed, Eliza faced challenges and obstacles, but she met them head-on with determination and resilience. She proved herself to be a capable and effective leader, overseeing the department’s budget implementation, supervising administrative staff, and ensuring that operations ran smoothly.

Through her hard work and dedication, Eliza not only excelled in her new role but also found a sense of fulfillment and purpose in her career. She was proud to be a part of the County of Humboldt’s efforts to promote workforce and operational excellence, and she knew that she was making a positive impact on her community.

And so, as Eliza continued to grow and thrive in her career, she reflected on her journey from eager college graduate to confident Business Manager. She had truly embraced the spirit of bildungsroman, finding her path, facing challenges, and ultimately becoming the strong, capable leader she was always meant to be in the beautiful County of Humboldt.

— LoCOBot

Starfish: Hey Noodles, have you seen this memo from the County of Humboldt about leasing office space and parking lots?

Noodles: Oh man, no way. Let me see that. *takes the memo and starts reading it* Woah, it’s like a whole novel, man. Something about a lease agreement with Eureka Old Town, LLC and rental amounts.

Starfish: Yeah, it’s all about correcting some error with the rental payments and making a one-time payment to cover past due rent. Sounds like a bureaucratic nightmare, dude.

Noodles: Totally, man. Like, why can’t they just chill and smoke a joint instead of getting all caught up in all these financial details?

Starfish: Right? They should just relax and enjoy the good vibes. Like us, man. *passes the joint to Noodles* So, what do you think? Should the Board of Supervisors approve this amendment?

Noodles: Oh, for sure, man. Let’s keep the peace and harmony in the County of Humboldt. *takes a puff* And maybe they’ll learn a thing or two from us about keeping it mellow, you know?

Starfish: Totally, dude. Let’s spread the love and positivity. *takes a hit* And maybe next time, they’ll invite us to their meetings to share our wisdom.

Noodles: Right on, Starfish. We’ll be the chill ambassadors of Humboldt County. *laughs* Peace out, man.

Starfish: Peace out, Noodles. *both continue smoking and enjoying the high*

— LoCOBot

The job interviewer, Mr. Johnson, sat across from the candidate, Mark, who was applying for the position in Public Works, specifically in the Roads Engineering budget. Mr. Johnson reviewed Mark’s resume before diving into the questions.

Mr. Johnson: “Thank you for coming in today, Mark. Let’s start off by discussing your experience with budget appropriations. Can you provide an example of a time when you had to reallocate funds within a specific budget?”

Mark: “Yes, of course. In my previous role at XYZ Corporation, I was responsible for managing the budget for the engineering department. There was a situation where we needed to transfer funds from the Professional Services line to the Infrastructure line due to unexpected project expenses. I worked closely with the finance team to ensure the reallocation was done accurately and within the guidelines set by the company.”

Mr. Johnson nodded, impressed by Mark’s experience and ability to handle budget adjustments. He then moved on to the next question.

Mr. Johnson: “How do you prioritize budget allocations when there are competing needs within a department?”

Mark: “I believe in taking a strategic approach to budget prioritization. I always start by assessing the critical needs of the department and aligning the allocations with the overall goals and objectives. I also consider feedback from team members and stakeholders to ensure that the budget is being used effectively to support the department’s priorities.”

Mr. Johnson nodded again, pleased with Mark’s thoughtful answer. He then posed one final question to assess Mark’s understanding of the Public Works department’s goals and objectives.

Mr. Johnson: “Based on the information provided in the agenda item for the appropriation transfer, how do you see this adjustment aligning with the strategic plan of the Board of Supervisors for Core Services/Other?”

Mark: “The appropriation transfer for the Public Works Roads Engineering budget aligns with the strategic plan by ensuring that the funds are being allocated efficiently to support the core services of the department. By transferring funds to the Infrastructure line, the department can continue to maintain and improve the county’s road infrastructure, which is essential for the community’s safety and economic development.”

Mr. Johnson smiled, impressed with Mark’s understanding of how the appropriation transfer fits into the bigger picture of the department’s goals. He concluded the interview by thanking Mark for his insightful responses and informing him that they would be in touch regarding the final decision.

— LoCOBot

Beavis: Uh, hey Butt-head. What’s re-roofing?

Butt-head: I think it’s when they put a new roof on a building, dumbass.

Beavis: Oh yeah, that sounds pretty cool. I like roofs.

Butt-head: Yeah, whatever. So, like, there’s this project in Humboldt County to re-roof a courthouse or something.

Beavis: Whoa, a courthouse? That’s like where they have, uh, court and stuff, right?

Butt-head: Yeah, Beavis. They have, like, judges and trials and all that boring legal crap.

Beavis: Heh heh, legal crap. So what’s the deal with this project? Are they gonna accept, uh, the work of Adams Commercial General Contracting, Inc.?

Butt-head: Yeah, they’re recommending to accept the work as complete and file some notice of completion thingy. And they need, like, $618,340 for the budget.

Beavis: Whoa, that’s a lot of money. I wonder if, like, they have to pay for a new roof, or, uh, if they just fix the old one.

Butt-head: Yeah, who knows. But, like, it says there’s funding from, uh, Capital Projects and, uh, Deferred Maintenance and something about the Judicial Council.

Beavis: Heh heh, Judicial Council. That sounds important. So, like, what happens if they don’t accept the project?

Butt-head: I don’t know, Beavis. But, like, they said the general contractor wants their money and stuff, so they better accept it.

Beavis: Yeah, heh heh. I bet that would, uh, suck if they didn’t get paid for doing all that work.

Butt-head: Yeah, totally. So, like, I guess they’re gonna accept it and file the notice and all that crap. It’s probably, like, the right thing to do or something.

Beavis: Yeah, right. They don’t wanna, like, piss off the general contractor or the judges or something.

Butt-head: Heh heh, yeah. Pissing off judges is, like, never a good idea.

— LoCOBot

As the adventurers make their way through the county of Humboldt, they come across a notice posted on a bulletin board in the town square. The notice details a bid award authorization for the Public Works Measure O - 2025 Road Maintenance Project Jacoby Creek and South Quarry Road. The project aims to restore the roadways using Measure O funds, and the winning bid has been awarded to Kernen Construction for a total amount of $865,131.

However, rumors have been spreading throughout the county that dark forces are at play and are planning to disrupt the road maintenance project. The adventurers are approached by the Public Works Director, who pleads for their assistance in ensuring the success of the project. It is said that a group of malevolent creatures known as the Stone Quarry Golems are intent on sabotaging the construction, as they believe the roadways belong to them.

The adventurers must venture to Jacoby Creek and South Quarry Road, where the construction is set to take place. Along the way, they encounter various obstacles and challenges, including hostile creatures sent by the Stone Quarry Golems to impede their progress. As they reach the construction site, they must fend off attacks from the golems and their minions, using their skills and abilities to protect the workers and the project.

Through their bravery and determination, the adventurers are able to thwart the plans of the Stone Quarry Golems and ensure the successful completion of the road maintenance project. The county of Humboldt is grateful for their assistance and rewards them with a generous sum of gold as well as the knowledge that they have helped improve the infrastructure of the region. As they continue their journey, they know that their actions have made a difference in the lives of the people of Humboldt.

— LoCOBot

Moe Hogan: Alright folks, welcome back to another episode of The Moe Hogan Experience. Today we have a special guest with us, the author of this document from the County of Humboldt. Now, let me tell you folks, this is some interesting stuff we’re diving into here. So, author, can you break down for us what exactly is going on with this road maintenance project and the bid award authorization?

Author: Well, Moe, essentially the County of Humboldt is looking to award a project agreement to VSS International, Inc., for the total amount of $693,120 to carry out the Measure O - 2025 Road Maintenance Project Fiberized Micro Seal on Waddington Road, Ridgewood/Walnut Roads, and Indianola Cutoff.

Moe Hogan: Fascinating stuff, folks. Now, I’ve always said that there’s more than meets the eye when it comes to road maintenance projects. Have there been any concerns raised about this particular project?

Author: Not that I am aware of, Moe. It seems to be a standard procedure for the County of Humboldt to award these types of projects to ensure the upkeep of their roadways.

Moe Hogan: Well, there you have it, folks. Seems like everything is on the up and up with this road maintenance project. Now, before we continue, I’d like to take a moment to talk about our sponsor, Mega Health Supplements. Let me tell you folks, ever since I started taking Mega Health Supplements, I’ve never felt better. Make sure to check them out for all your dietary supplement needs.

Producer: Hey, Moe, just wanted to let you know that Mega Health Supplements aren’t actually our sponsor. It’s actually Super Health Supplements.

Moe Hogan: Really? Well, I could’ve sworn it was Mega Health Supplements. My bad, folks. Super Health Supplements, check them out for all your dietary supplement needs. And now, back to our discussion.

Author: Moe, if I may interject, I just wanted to clarify that the project costs are estimated at $831,744.00, not $693,120. The total project cost includes various components such as a contingency, construction administration, and the construction contract.

Moe Hogan: Well, there you have it, folks. Always good to have the correct information. Thank you for setting the record straight, author. And that’s all the time we have for today, folks. Tune in next time for another mind-blowing episode of The Moe Hogan Experience. Remember, stay woke, stay informed!

— LoCOBot

Funky Sheriff, keepin’ it real in Humboldt County
Signin’ that ESAC, makin’ sure we’re up to date
Gonna keep our communities safe and healthy
With partnerships and programs, we won’t hesitate

Authorize the Chair, and the Sheriff too
To sign that agreement, for Fiscal Year 2024-25
Gotta keep the funds flowin’, for equipment and grants
No supplanting allowed, gotta keep it all in line

HCSO and DTF, workin’ together as one
No more separate tracking, we’re all in this game
Gotta file that report, by Aug. 31
To keep those assets flowin’, and support our aim

Federal Asset Forfeiture Trust, keepin’ us in check
With funds for grants, and specialized gear
Gotta keep it all straight, and show respect
For the guidelines, to make sure it’s clear

So let’s sign that ESAC, and keep the funds flowin’
For Humboldt County, with unity and style
Safe and healthy communities, that’s the goal we’re knowin’
With partnerships and programs, we’re goin’ the extra mile

So Sheriff and Chair, let’s make it official
Submit that report, and keep it all in line
For Fiscal Year 2024-25, let’s be beneficial
And keep Humboldt County, in that funky sunshine.

— LoCOBot

“The Contraband Barrier”

[Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer are sitting in Jerry’s apartment, watching TV]

Jerry: So, what’s on the agenda for today?

George: Oh, just the usual. Work, eat, sleep, repeat.

Elaine: Sounds exciting.

Kramer: Hey, did you guys hear about that new contraband barrier they’re installing at the Humboldt County Correctional Facility?

Jerry: A contraband barrier? What’s that?

Kramer: It’s a metal barrier they’re putting up in the recreation yard to stop inmates from smuggling in illegal stuff.

Jerry: Huh, interesting.

Elaine: I wonder how they came up with that idea.

George: Probably after one too many inmates tried to sneak in some contraband.

Jerry: I can just imagine the chaos that must have caused.

Kramer: You know, I heard they tested it out on a small portion of the yard and it was a huge success.

Jerry: Well, I guess that’s one way to keep the inmates on their toes.

[Later that day, Jerry runs into Newman at the corner store]

Jerry: Hey, Newman. Have you heard about the new contraband barrier they’re installing at the correctional facility?

Newman: Oh, yes. It’s causing quite a stir among the inmates.

Jerry: Really? How so?

Newman: Well, let’s just say they’re not too happy about having their supply cut off.

Jerry: I can only imagine.

[Cut to the correctional facility where the contraband barrier is being installed]

Guard: Alright, let’s get this barrier up and running. We can’t have any more contraband getting in here.

Inmate (yelling from the yard): Hey, what’s going on? Why can’t I get my stuff anymore?

Guard: Sorry, buddy. Those days are over.

[Back at Jerry’s apartment]

Jerry: Well, I guess that’s one way to keep things under control. Who knew a little metal barrier could cause so much drama.

Elaine: It’s like a mini soap opera, except with inmates and contraband.

George: Only in Humboldt County.

Kramer: Hey, maybe we should go visit the correctional facility and see this contraband barrier in action.

Jerry: I think I’ll pass. Last time I was in jail, it wasn’t exactly a pleasant experience.

[They all laugh as the camera fades out]

— LoCOBot

Good morning beloved members of our congregation. Today, I stand before you with a message inspired by the recent developments in our community. The County of Humboldt has taken significant strides in supporting a well-trained workforce through the California State Association of Counties (CSAC) and the CSAC Institute for Excellence in County Government Executive Institute.

The CSAC Institute for Excellence in County Government is a program designed to provide professional, practical continuing education for senior county staff and elected officials. Its goal is to expand the capacity and capability of county leaders to provide extraordinary services to their communities. The recent report and credentials presentation for the third annual CSAC Institute in Northern California, hosted by Humboldt County, showcased the dedication of 29 participants from our county who completed the intensive leadership training series.

The classes covered a wide range of topics including leadership fundamentals, effective communication, talent development, and inclusive leadership. These sessions not only enhance the skills and knowledge of our county officials but also provide a platform for networking and collaboration with neighboring counties such as Del Norte and Trinity.

The financial impact of this program has been carefully managed, with funding sources from various departments ensuring the sustainability of the program. The increase in total program cost for the upcoming fiscal year reflects the commitment of our county to invest in the development of our workforce and ensure that our leaders are equipped to meet the challenges of our ever-changing world.

As we reflect on the achievements of the CSAC Institute in Northern California, let us also consider the deeper implications of this program. Just as our county leaders have dedicated themselves to continuous learning and growth, so too must we as individuals strive for excellence in all aspects of our lives. Whether it be in our personal relationships, our professional endeavors, or our spiritual journey, let us emulate the commitment and perseverance of those who have participated in the CSAC Institute.

Let us remember that through education, training, and dedication, we can all reach new heights of excellence and make a positive impact on our community. As we go forth this week, let us carry with us the spirit of learning and growth, knowing that we are always capable of achieving greatness in all that we do.

May God bless you all and may we continue to uplift and support one another in our pursuit of excellence. Amen.

— LoCOBot

In a remote area of Humboldt County, two Pokemon trainers prepare for a duel to determine the fate of the proposed amendments to the Zoning Code for outdoor lighting. Trainer A, representing the Planning and Building Department, chooses Luxray, a powerful Electric type Pokemon known for its sharp vision and keen sense of sight. Trainer B, representing the Board of Supervisors, selects Mandibuzz, a Dark and Flying type Pokemon known for its ability to control darkness and shadows.

As the battle begins, Luxray uses its electrical prowess to create a dazzling display of light, illuminating the area with its Flash attack. Mandibuzz, unfazed by the sudden brightness, swoops down and envelops Luxray in a shadowy aura with its Dark Pulse move. The two Pokemon are locked in a battle of light and darkness, each trying to gain the upper hand.

Luxray, with its heightened senses, manages to break free from Mandibuzz’s shadows and retaliates with a powerful Thunderbolt attack, engulfing the area in a bright burst of lightning. Mandibuzz, utilizing its Flying type agility, dodges the attack and counters with a Night Slash, plunging the area into darkness once again.

As the duel rages on, the trainers watch in awe as Luxray and Mandibuzz exchange powerful blows, each using their unique abilities to control light and darkness. In the end, it is a close battle, but Luxray emerges victorious, demonstrating its mastery over light and securing the adoption of the proposed ordinances for outdoor lighting in Humboldt County. Trainer A’s strategy and Luxray’s abilities prove to be a winning combination, ensuring the protection of dark skies and the prevention of light pollution in the county.

— LoCOBot