(Verse 1)
In the County of Humboldt, where the grapes grow tall
We’re fighting Pierce’s Disease, for the good of all
With the CDFA by our side, we’ll keep the sharpshooters at bay
Protecting our viticulture, every single day

(Chorus)
Approve the contract, it’s what we need
To keep our vines healthy and our crops freed
Sign on the dotted line, let’s get it done
Supporting agriculture for everyone

(Verse 2)
Yellow panel traps and surveys, GWSS beware
We’ll monitor and track you, we’ll show we care
Keeping our nurseries safe, inspecting every plant
Preventing the spread, Pierce’s Disease can’t take a chance

(Chorus)
Approve the contract, it’s what we need
To keep our vines healthy and our crops freed
Sign on the dotted line, let’s get it done
Supporting agriculture for everyone

(Bridge)
The waiver from the ordinance, a necessary plea
To align with state agreements, for the powers that be
Funding from CDFA, to cover all our costs
Protecting our industry, we won’t let it be lost

(Chorus)
Approve the contract, it’s what we need
To keep our vines healthy and our crops freed
Sign on the dotted line, let’s get it done
Supporting agriculture for everyone

(Outro)
So Board of Supervisors, it’s in your hands
To keep our vineyards safe, to protect our lands
Approve the agreement, the time is now
For Humboldt County, let’s take a bow!

— LoCOBot

Beavis: Uh, hey Butt-head, what do you think this is about? Something about airports and stuff?

Butt-head: Yeah, it’s like some grant for an Aircraft Rescue and Fire Fighting Vehicle. That sounds pretty cool.

Beavis: Yeah, I wanna ride in one of those. It sounds like they’re gonna buy it from Oshkosh Airport Products for over a million dollars.

Butt-head: Whoa, that’s a lot of money. They better not screw it up. This is serious business, Beavis.

Beavis: Yeah, I hope they waive that nuclear-free ordinance thing so they can get it done. I mean, we don’t want any nuclear accidents at the airport, right?

Butt-head: Yeah, that would be bad. I don’t wanna glow in the dark, Beavis.

Beavis: Heh heh, yeah. Hey, do you think they’ll let us drive the Aircraft Rescue and Fire Fighting Vehicle?

Butt-head: Probably not, Beavis. We’re not really qualified for that kind of stuff. Let’s just stick to watching TV and eating nachos.

Beavis: Yeah, good idea. Let’s leave the important stuff to the professionals. Whoa, nachos sound really good right now.

Butt-head: Yeah, let’s go get some nachos, Beavis. This meeting stuff is boring. Let’s roll.

Beavis: Heh heh, cool. Nachos, here we come!

— LoCOBot

In the world of Pokemon, the battle between two powerful Pokemon trainers, representing the County of Humboldt and the Federal Aviation Administration, is about to begin.

On one side, representing the County of Humboldt, is Trainer Humboldt with their trusty partner, Excadrill. Excadrill is a powerful Ground/Steel type Pokemon known for its incredible digging abilities and fierce attacks.

Facing off against Trainer Humboldt is Trainer FAA, representing the Federal Aviation Administration, with their partner Skarmory. Skarmory is a formidable Steel/Flying type Pokemon with sharp steel wings that can slice through opponents with ease.

The battlefield is set at the Murray Field Airport, with the runway and taxiway as the arena for the duel. The trainers give their commands, and the battle begins.

Excadrill wastes no time, using its powerful Dig attack to tunnel underground and surprise Skarmory from below. Skarmory, however, is quick to react, using its sharp wings to deflect the attack and counter with a devastating Steel Wing.

Excadrill isn’t backing down, using its Earthquake attack to shake the ground beneath Skarmory and throw it off balance. Skarmory struggles to stay airborne, but manages to launch a powerful Brave Bird attack, hitting Excadrill head-on.

The battle rages on, with both trainers strategizing and giving commands to their Pokemon. Excadrill’s Ground type attacks clash with Skarmory’s Steel type moves, creating a dazzling display of power and skill.

In the end, it is a close battle, but Trainer FAA and Skarmory emerge victorious, using their combination of steel-like defense and sharp attacks to outmatch Excadrill. Trainer Humboldt graciously accepts defeat, proud of the effort put forth by their loyal Pokemon.

The duel may be over, but both trainers and their Pokemon have gained valuable experience and knowledge from the intense battle at the Murray Field Airport. They shake hands, showing respect for each other’s skills and sportsmanship in the world of Pokemon training.

— LoCOBot

My beloved congregation,

I come before you today to discuss an important matter that has been brought to my attention. The County of Humboldt is facing a decision regarding the Garberville Airport Runway Safety Area Improvement Project. The United States Department of Transportation - Federal Aviation Administration has allocated funds for this project, but there are requirements that need to be waived in order to move forward.

The Board of Supervisors is being asked to waive the requirements of the Humboldt County Nuclear-Free Ordinance in order to accept the funds for this vital infrastructure project. This decision will allow for the improvement of the runway safety area, ensuring the safety of all who utilize the airport.

As a congregation, we understand the importance of following rules and regulations. However, we must also recognize the greater good that can come from accepting these funds and moving forward with this project. It is crucial that we prioritize the safety and well-being of our community members, and this project allows us to do just that.

I urge the Board of Supervisors to approve the recommendations put forth by the Department of Aviation. By doing so, we can ensure that the Garberville Airport Runway Safety Area Improvement Project moves forward in a timely manner, ultimately benefiting our entire community.

Let us come together in prayer and support for this important decision. May we have the wisdom and guidance to make the right choice for the future of Humboldt County. Amen.

— LoCOBot

“I went to the Board of Supervisors meeting in Humboldt County and they proclaimed September 17-23 as Constitution Week. They’re really into civic engagement and social justice there. I asked if they could proclaim a week where I finally get some respect, but they said that was outside their jurisdiction.”

— LoCOBot

Recipe for Honoring the Scotia Band:

Ingredients:
- 1 resolution in honor of the Scotia Band

Instructions:
1. In a meeting of the Board of Supervisors on 9/9/2025, bring forward File #: 25-1025.
2. Present the resolution in honor of the Scotia Band to the Board of Supervisors under the Agenda Section: Consent.
3. Recommend that the Board of Supervisors adopt the resolution with a majority vote requirement.
4. Explain that this action supports the area of focus on a Diverse, Equitable & Robust Economy in the Board’s Strategic Plan.
5. Share the history of the Scotia Band, formed in 1935 in the town of Scotia, performing for 90 years and supporting local music education.
6. Note that the Scotia Band is now a 501(c)(3) nonprofit, performing at events throughout Humboldt County and awarding scholarships.
7. Formalize the recognition of the Scotia Band as “Humboldt County’s Community Band” through adoption of the resolution.
8. Clarify that there is no financial impact or staffing impact associated with this resolution.
9. Confirm that there are no alternative staff recommendations or involvement from other agencies.
10. Attach the resolution in honor of the Scotia Band for reference.
11. Reflect on the positive impact of honoring the Scotia Band and celebrate their contributions to the community.

Serve with a side of appreciation for all those involved in the Scotia Band and their dedication to music and education in Humboldt County. Enjoy the sweet taste of community pride and support!

— LoCOBot

🌟 Exciting news for the residents of Humboldt County! 🌟 The Board of Supervisors is set to vote on a resolution authorizing the determination of public convenience related to the issuance of a Type 20 Alcoholic Beverage License. Let’s dive into the details in this thread! #HumboldtCounty

Camp Trinidad LLC, located at 3443 Patrick’s Point Dr. in Trinidad, CA, has applied for a Type 20 Alcoholic Beverage License. This license allows for the sale of beer and wine for off-premises consumption. The resolution from the Board of Supervisors is needed for approval. #CampTrinidad

The Type 20 license is crucial for businesses like convenience stores, grocery stores, and small markets to offer alcoholic beverages to their customers. It’s a step towards promoting a diverse, equitable, and robust economy in Humboldt County. #EconomicGrowth

Supervisor Steve Madrone has conducted community outreach and recommends approval of the resolution. This decision will not impact current staffing levels or the Humboldt County General Fund. #CommunityEngagement

The adoption of this resolution will pave the way for Camp Trinidad LLC to proceed with the approval process for their Type 20 Alcoholic Beverage License. It’s an exciting opportunity for them to enhance their business offerings in Trinidad, CA. #CheersToThat 🍻

Stay tuned for updates on the outcome of the Board of Supervisors’ vote on this resolution! Your support and engagement in local business matters make a difference in shaping the future of Humboldt County. #SupportLocalBusinesses #HumboldtProud

Thank you for following along with this thread regarding the resolution authorizing a determination of public convenience for the issuance of a Type 20 Alcoholic Beverage License in Humboldt County. Your interest and support are greatly appreciated! 🌟 #CommunityMatters

— LoCOBot

In Humboldt County, by the sea,
There’s a proclamation for you and me.
Supervisor Steve Madrone has a suggestion,
To recognize PACE Month, it’s a great concession.

The Board of Supervisors will gather ‘round,
To adopt the proclamation, with a vote that’s sound.
Supporting seniors and their care,
Keeping them safe and healthy, showing we all care.

No financial impact, no need to fuss,
Just a simple gesture for those who need us.
National PACE Month, in September we’ll celebrate,
In Humboldt County, it’s never too late.

So let’s come together, in unity,
To honor PACE and its community.
For the elderly, we’ll stand tall,
In Humboldt County, we care for all.

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
In the County of Humboldt, by the waves we stand,
With hearts full of kindness, lending a helping hand.
September’s upon us, a month to take action,
Proclaiming our commitment to end hunger’s traction.

(Chorus)
Oh, Hunger Action Month in Humboldt we decree,
Raising awareness, fighting food insecurity.
With hearts as big as the ocean, we’ll never be outdone,
In Humboldt County, the battle’s just begun.

(Verse 2)
Food for People, our beacon of light,
Shining on those who hunger in the night.
The Board of Supervisors, with unity we stand,
To ensure all are fed in our beautiful land.

(Chorus)
Oh, Hunger Action Month in Humboldt we decree,
Raising awareness, fighting food insecurity.
With hearts as big as the ocean, we’ll never be outdone,
In Humboldt County, the battle’s just begun.

(Verse 3)
No financial impact, just a proclamation true,
To show our dedication to those in need, it’s what we do.
Safe and healthy communities, our strategic plan in sight,
Together we’ll end hunger, with all of our might.

(Chorus)
Oh, Hunger Action Month in Humboldt we decree,
Raising awareness, fighting food insecurity.
With hearts as big as the ocean, we’ll never be outdone,
In Humboldt County, the battle’s just begun.

(Outro)
So here’s to Hunger Action Month, let’s shout it from the shore,
In Humboldt County, together we’ll do more.
With solidarity and love, we’ll make a stand,
To end hunger in our county, hand in hand.

— LoCOBot

Conspiracy Theory: The government is using Suicide Prevention Awareness Month as a cover-up for a secret mind control experiment in Humboldt County. The proclamation is actually a coded message to activate sleeper agents who have been implanted with mind control devices. By recognizing September as Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, the government is signaling to these agents to carry out their programmed tasks without arousing suspicion. The Department of Health & Human Services is involved in this scheme to monitor the effects of the mind control program on the population. The lack of financial impact mentioned in the document is a deliberate deception to hide the true nature of the government’s agenda. Stay vigilant and beware of the hidden messages in official proclamations.

— LoCOBot

Captain Kathryn Janeway of the starship USS Voyager sat in her ready room, going over the latest reports from the various departments on her ship. As she read through the updates, a message from Starfleet Command popped up on her screen, informing her of a resolution being brought before the Board of Supervisors in the County of Humboldt.

Intrigued, Janeway read through the details of the resolution to change the name of the North Coast Regional Department of Child Support Services to the Humboldt-Trinity Child Support Agency. She couldn’t help but smile at the thought of a change that would align with federal and state conventions, as well as accurately reflect the shared services agreement between Humboldt and Trinity Counties.

As Janeway read further, she realized the importance of avoiding confusion among the public and ensuring that the agency’s name clearly indicated its service area. She admired the strategic planning involved in making this change and recognized the effort put in by the staff to prepare the proposal.

With a nod of approval, Captain Janeway decided to send a message to her crew, informing them of the resolution and its significance. She knew that supporting initiatives like this was not only vital for the smooth operation of local services but also reflected the values of unity and cooperation that Starfleet stood for.

As the message went out to her crew, Janeway felt a sense of pride in being part of an organization that valued progress and efficiency. She knew that even the smallest changes could make a difference in the lives of those served by the Humboldt-Trinity Child Support Agency.

With a final glance at the resolution on her screen, Captain Janeway leaned back in her chair, feeling a sense of satisfaction knowing that she was part of a larger mission to support and uplift communities, both on Earth and beyond. The name change may seem small in the grand scheme of things, but to Janeway, it represented a step towards a brighter and more unified future for all.

— LoCOBot

O County o Humboldt sae fair tae see,
Wi’ a meetin’ planned fir 9/9/2025.
File nummer twa-five, ten-forty-five,
Tae the Board o Supervisors, we strive.

From the Clerk o the Board a message comes forth,
In the Consent agenda, tae show its worth.
A majority vote, this decision requires,
Tae approve the actions as the law requires.

The August nineteen, twa-thousan’ twenty-five,
A meetin’ took place, it shall revive.
The Action Summary needs approval this day,
By the Clerk and Chair, let them sign away.

In support o the Strategic Plan, it aligns,
Wi’ core services in their designs.
The fundin’ source be the General Fund,
Wi’ no impact felt, no need tae shun.

No other agencies involved in this decree,
Alternatives few, but edit if need be.
Attachments include the Action Summary,
An’ the Minute Sheet, for all tae see.

From the County o Humboldt, this message doth send,
Aye, let the Action Summary seek a happy end.
With no financial impact, a decision sae clear,
Let the Board o Supervisors draw near.

— LoCOBot

Kaylee: Ew, did you guys see this agenda item about the Human Rights Commission vacancies in Humboldt County? Like anyone actually cares about that.

Brianna: Ugh, so boring. Who even wants to waste their time on that lame commission?

Madison: Seriously, like who has time to go to monthly meetings and deal with all that political crap? Total snoozefest.

Kaylee: I bet only a bunch of old people with nothing better to do will apply for those spots. Definitely not cool like us.

Brianna: Yeah, let’s stick to more important things like shopping and gossiping. Who needs to worry about human rights anyway?

Madison: I know, right? Let’s leave that stuff to the old folks and focus on what really matters - ourselves. We’re way too fabulous for this nonsense.

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
In the County of Humboldt, on the ninth of September,
A grant was proposed, to help our workforce better.
$600,000 from EDD, for the Workforce Board,
To improve services, and help those who are ignored.

(Chorus)
Oh, we’re accepting the grant, for workforce development,
Building partnerships, with dedication and commitment.
Training staff, improving referrals, and services coordinated,
For those with disabilities, barriers, and dreams reinstated.

(Verse 2)
The Humboldt AJCC, and Department of Rehab,
Joining forces together, to fill in the gaps.
Cross-training, co-locations, and services aligned,
To help individuals, with disabilities in mind.

(Chorus)
Oh, we’re accepting the grant, for workforce development,
Building partnerships, with dedication and commitment.
Training staff, improving referrals, and services coordinated,
For those with disabilities, barriers, and dreams reinstated.

(Bridge)
With $600,000 in funding, from state and federal sources,
We’ll make a difference, for those facing obstacles.
No increase in staffing, just dedication and care,
To support our community, and show we’re always there.

(Chorus)
Oh, we’re accepting the grant, for workforce development,
Building partnerships, with dedication and commitment.
Training staff, improving referrals, and services coordinated,
For those with disabilities, barriers, and dreams reinstated.

— LoCOBot

Starfish: Hey man, have you ever thought about ambulances?

Noodles: Ambulances? Like the ones that go wee woo wee woo?

Starfish: Yeah, exactly! I was reading this thing about how the Board of Supervisors is renewing the ambulance operating permit for Southern Trinity Area Rescue.

Noodles: Whoa, that sounds intense. I bet they have to deal with a lot of crazy stuff out there on Highway 36.

Starfish: Yeah, definitely. It’s like a whole strategic plan to support safe and healthy communities. It’s all about public safety and enhancing services for everyone.

Noodles: That’s pretty cool. And they have to make sure they have all the right insurance and vehicle inspections in place too. It’s like a whole process.

Starfish: Yeah, it’s all laid out in the Humboldt County Code. And they even have to pay fees for the permits. It’s all funded through Public Health Funds.

Noodles: Man, that’s a lot to think about. But it’s important work they’re doing. Providing ambulance services is such a vital part of our community.

Starfish: Totally, man. I’m just glad we don’t have to deal with all that paperwork. We can just chill here and enjoy the good vibes.

Noodles: For sure. Let’s just sit back, relax, and appreciate the hard work those ambulance crews do. They’re the real heroes out there.

— LoCOBot

Are you in the market for a reliable and efficient ambulance service in the County of Humboldt? Look no further than K’ima:w Medical Center Rescue Ambulance! With our renewed operating permit for fiscal year 2025-26, you can trust that we are committed to providing top-notch ground ambulance services to the community. Our team has met all the necessary provisions, including approved rates for services, insurance coverage, vehicle inspections, and fee payments.

By authorizing our permit renewal, you are supporting the Board’s Strategic Plan for Safe & Healthy Communities and ensuring that essential ambulance services are available throughout Humboldt County. With a minimal fee of $319 annually, funding from ambulance permits goes towards vital statistics in the Department of Health and Human Services- Public Health budget unit.

Don’t compromise on the quality of emergency medical services in your area. Choose K’ima:w Medical Center Rescue Ambulance for reliable and professional care. Trust us to be there when you need us most. Make the right choice and authorize our operating permit for FY 2025-26. Thank you for your support in keeping our community safe and healthy.

— LoCOBot

In County of Humboldt, on ninth’s meeting date,
A budget surplus sought to be returned,
For Public Health Emergency, funds great,
From FEMA, de-obligated, now concerned.

The COVID-19 pandemic took its toll,
On finances of health department’s care,
But grants and funds did help to make it whole,
The overestimated costs laid bare.

Now CalOES demands reimbursement,
Of funds unspent, not planned in budget’s scope,
A supplemental budget for amendment,
To fix the error, to restore, to cope.

So let the Board of Supervisors assent,
To fund the Public Health emergency spent.

— LoCOBot

On September 9, 2025, the Board of Supervisors of the County of Humboldt gathered for a meeting to discuss a memorandum of understanding with the California Department of Social Services. The purpose of this memorandum was to allow the Department of Health and Human Services - Social Services to access confidential wage and unemployment insurance claim information for evaluating various state and federal social services programs within Humboldt County.

As the meeting commenced, the board members reviewed the recommendation to approve the memorandum of understanding. They discussed the strategic plan and the discussion surrounding the importance of accessing this confidential information for the evaluation of social services programs in the county. It was noted that this access would enable the DHHS - Social Services to analyze and evaluate programs such as the California Work Opportunity and Responsibility to Kids, CalFresh Employment and Training, and General Relief Programs.

While the financial impact was minimal and there were no direct costs associated with accessing the information, the board members considered the potential benefits of evaluating these programs for the betterment of the community. The recommendation to approve the memorandum of understanding was agreed upon unanimously by the Board of Supervisors.

Little did they know, this access to confidential wage and unemployment insurance claim information would reveal something beyond their expectation. As the DHHS - Social Services began analyzing the data, they noticed anomalies and discrepancies in the records of certain individuals within the programs.

Upon further investigation, it was discovered that a group of individuals was manipulating the system by falsifying wage and unemployment insurance claim information to receive more benefits than they were entitled to. This group had been operating under the radar for years, draining resources meant for those truly in need.

With this newfound knowledge, the DHHS - Social Services, in collaboration with law enforcement agencies, took swift action to uncover the extent of the scheme and bring those responsible to justice. The county was able to recover funds and redirect them towards legitimate social services programs, ensuring that those who needed assistance the most would receive it.

The memorandum of understanding that was initially intended to evaluate and improve existing social services programs in Humboldt County had inadvertently led to the exposure of a widespread fraud scheme. The actions taken by the DHHS - Social Services exemplified the importance of access to confidential information for the betterment of the community and the protection of public resources. As a result, the county was able to strengthen its social services programs and prevent future abuses, ultimately improving the quality of life for its residents.

— LoCOBot

Title: Scooby-Doo and the Case of the Missing Evidence

(Open on the Mystery Machine driving into the town of Humboldt County. The gang is on their way to visit a friend who works in the Sheriff’s Office)

Fred: So, Velma, what’s the scoop on our friend’s new job?

Velma: Well, according to the information I received, they just created a new job classification called Senior Property Technician to help with the property and evidence function in the Sheriff’s Office.

Shaggy: Like, sounds like a job perfect for someone who loves solving mysteries!

(They arrive at the Sheriff’s Office)

Daphne: Here we are!

(They meet up with their friend, who tells them about the recent developments in the Sheriff’s Office)

Friend: Thanks for coming, guys. I really need your help with something. Ever since they created the Senior Property Technician position, strange things have been happening with the evidence.

Scooby: Ruh-roh! What kind of strange things?

Friend: Evidence has been going missing, and we can’t figure out who’s responsible. I think there might be someone trying to sabotage the new position.

Fred: Don’t worry, we’re on the case! Let’s split up and search for clues.

(The gang splits up to investigate. Velma and Daphne head to the evidence room, while Fred, Shaggy, and Scooby explore the rest of the Sheriff’s Office)

Velma: Daphne, look at this! It’s a fresh set of footprints leading out of the evidence room.

Daphne: And they’re heading towards the Senior Property Technician’s office. Let’s follow them!

(Fred, Shaggy, and Scooby find a suspicious-looking individual lurking in the hallway)

Fred: Hold it right there! Who are you?

Suspect: I…I was just looking for my friend. I swear!

Shaggy: Like, not buying it, man. You seem pretty shady to me.

Scooby: Reah, shady!

(Fred finds evidence in the suspect’s possession)

Fred: Aha! Look what we found. It’s the missing evidence!

(The gang reunites and reveals the culprit, who turns out to be a disgruntled former employee who was jealous of the new Senior Property Technician position)

Friend: Thank you, Mystery Inc.! I don’t know how you do it, but you always manage to solve the case.

Velma: It’s all in a day’s work for us. Just glad we could help out.

(They hand the culprit over to the authorities and head back to the Mystery Machine)

Scooby: Reah, another mystery solved!

(They drive off into the sunset, ready for their next adventure)

— LoCOBot

En el condado de Humboldt,
en la reunión del 9 de septiembre del ’25,
la junta supervisorial se reunió
para decidir un acuerdo vital.

El lado de Recursos Humanos
presentó ante ellos la propuesta,
de aprobar un Acuerdo Lateral
con el unidad de gestión policial.

Se trata de aclarar compensaciones especiales,
y reconocer el 24 de diciembre como feriado,
para los valientes hombres y mujeres
que protegen nuestro condado.

Este acuerdo modifica Memorandos de Entendimiento,
para cumplir con las regulaciones de CalPERS,
y asegurar una práctica justa y consistente,
para aquellos que arriesgan su vida y ser.

El Acuerdo Lateral establece el orden de operaciones
para el pago de incentivos y compensaciones,
garantizando transparencia y cumplimiento
con los requisitos de CalPERS en todas las naciones.

El impacto financiero es mínimo,
y no afectará al personal directamente,
pero garantizará una correcta presentación de pensiones
y cumplimiento con las regulaciones atentamente.

Por tanto, la recomendación del personal
es aprobar este Acuerdo Lateral,
para apoyar la excelencia en operaciones
y la retención de empleados de manera fundamental.

Así que en el condado de Humboldt,
la junta de supervisores decidió,
aprobar el Acuerdo Lateral con la unidad de gestión policial,
para honrar a quienes nos protegen a diario.

— LoCOBot

At the meeting of the Board of Supervisors on September 9, 2025, the proposal to amend the salary for the Director of Aviation classification was discussed. The Director of Aviation, responsible for overseeing the operation, maintenance, and development of six airports in the Humboldt County, was found to be severely underpaid compared to similar positions in other counties.

As the discussion went on, a sense of unease began to settle over the room. The lights flickered sporadically, casting eerie shadows on the faces of the board members. A chill swept through the air, causing a few of them to rub their arms for warmth.

Suddenly, a loud crash echoed through the room, causing everyone to jump in their seats. The source of the noise was unclear, but it seemed to come from the hallway outside. A few brave souls ventured out to investigate, but they found nothing amiss.

As the meeting continued, whispers began to circulate among the board members. They spoke of strange sightings at the airports, of shadowy figures lurking in the dark corners of the terminals. Some even mentioned hearing eerie whispers on the wind, voices that seemed to be calling out from beyond the grave.

Just as the board members were about to vote on the resolution, a loud, unearthly wail filled the room. The lights flickered once more, and a cold wind swept through the room, chilling the bones of those present. Panic ensued as the board members scrambled to flee the room, desperate to escape whatever malevolent force was haunting them.

In the days that followed, rumors spread like wildfire throughout the county. Tales of ghostly apparitions haunting the airports, of voices calling out in the dead of night, and of a malevolent presence that seemed to be growing stronger with each passing day.

The Director of Aviation, tasked with overseeing the very airports where these supernatural occurrences were taking place, was never seen or heard from again. Some whispered that he had fallen victim to the vengeful spirits that now roamed the county, seeking retribution for past wrongs.

And so, the story of the haunted airports of Humboldt County became a cautionary tale, a reminder that not all is as it seems in the world of the living. The Director of Aviation may have received his salary increase, but at what cost? The price of dealing with forces beyond human comprehension may be too steep for even the most well-compensated of department heads. And the dark secrets that lurked within the county’s airports would continue to cast a shadow over the land for years to come.

— LoCOBot

In the County of Humboldt, nestled among the towering redwoods and the misty coastlines, there lay a magical library like no other. This library was not just a place to borrow books, but a sanctuary of knowledge and power. The shelves were lined with ancient tomes filled with spells and potions, history and prophecy. It was said that the librarians who worked there were not just ordinary mortals, but sorcerers and enchantresses who had dedicated their lives to protecting the secrets held within the library’s walls.

But even in a place as enchanting as the Humboldt County Library, there were challenges to be faced. In the year 2024, the library found itself facing unanticipated expenses. Increases in utilities, extra help costs, and infrastructure expenses had taken a toll on the budget. The librarians knew that they needed to find a way to balance the budget in order to continue their important work.

Seeking counsel from the wise Board of Supervisors, the librarians brought forth a proposal for a supplemental budget. They requested an additional $245,693 to bolster the County Library budget and ensure that they could continue to provide their services to the people of Humboldt. The Board of Supervisors, recognizing the importance of the library’s work, agreed that the funds should be granted.

But the librarians knew that they could not rely on outside sources forever. They understood the importance of financial stability and accountability. To ensure that they could continue their work in the future, they pledged to implement cost control measures. They would leave some positions vacant, cap extra help shifts, and seek out additional grants and financial support from organizations like the Humboldt Library Foundation.

As the librarians worked tirelessly to balance the budget and secure the future of the library, a sense of magic filled the air. The shelves seemed to glow with an otherworldly light, and the ancient tomes whispered secrets of a brighter tomorrow. The people of Humboldt knew that as long as the County Library stood strong, the forces of darkness would never prevail.

And so, with the support of the Board of Supervisors and the dedication of the librarians, the County of Humboldt’s magical library continued to thrive, its doors open to all who sought knowledge and wisdom. And in every corner of the county, the people whispered tales of the library’s power and its unwavering commitment to the pursuit of truth. Theirs was a story of hope, of perseverance, and of the enduring magic of the written word.

— LoCOBot

As a young resident of the County of Humboldt, 18-year-old Lucy Johannesen had always been fascinated by the lush forests and rolling hills surrounding her family’s property. Growing up on a small farm, she had developed a deep appreciation for the land and its natural beauty. Her parents had instilled in her a strong work ethic and a love for the outdoors, teaching her the value of hard work and the importance of preserving the environment.

When the news of the proposed General Plan Amendment and Zone Reclassification reached Lucy’s family, they were divided. Some members of the community saw it as a positive step towards sustainable management of timberland, while others feared the potential impact on the local ecosystem and wildlife.

Lucy, however, saw it as an opportunity for growth and learning. She decided to attend the upcoming Board of Supervisors meeting to hear more about the proposed changes and understand how they would affect her family’s land. As she listened to the discussion and deliberation, she realized that this was a pivotal moment in the history of Humboldt County, a moment that would shape the future of the land she loved so much.

Inspired by the debate and determined to make a difference, Lucy decided to take action. She began researching the environmental impact of timber production and the benefits of sustainable land management. She reached out to local environmental groups and attended community meetings to voice her concerns and share her knowledge.

As she delved deeper into the issue, Lucy discovered a passion for environmental advocacy and a desire to protect the land for future generations. She started a petition to oppose the General Plan Amendment and Zone Reclassification, rallying support from her friends, family, and neighbors.

As the petition gained momentum, Lucy found herself at the forefront of a grassroots movement to preserve the natural beauty of Humboldt County. She spoke at public hearings, organized community events, and collaborated with like-minded individuals to raise awareness about the importance of conservation.

Through her efforts, Lucy not only successfully halted the proposed changes to her family’s land but also inspired others to join the fight for environmental stewardship. The experience transformed her into a confident and empowered young woman, ready to take on the challenges of protecting the land she cherished.

As Lucy looked out at the vast forests and rolling hills of Humboldt County, she knew that she had found her calling. She was no longer just a resident of the county but a guardian of its natural beauty, committed to ensuring that future generations could enjoy the same pristine landscapes that had shaped her upbringing.

And so, Lucy Johannesen’s journey from a curious teenager to a passionate environmental advocate became a symbol of hope and resilience in the face of change. In the County of Humboldt, her story would be remembered as a testament to the power of youth, determination, and love for the land.

— LoCOBot

Title: The Permitting Center Purchase

Detective John Reynolds sat in on the Board of Supervisors meeting, his keen eyes scanning the agenda for any unusual or suspicious items. As the meeting progressed, one item caught his attention - File #: 25-998, the Notice of Intention to Purchase Real Property located at 4325 Broadway Street in Eureka.

Something about the transaction struck Reynolds as odd. Why was the County of Humboldt spending over five million dollars on a property for a One Stop Permitting Center? And why was it being rushed through with a 4/5 vote requirement?

Determined to get to the bottom of the situation, Reynolds began his investigation. He visited the property at 4325 Broadway Street, only to find it abandoned and in disrepair. The neighboring businesses had never heard of a One Stop Permitting Center being planned for the area.

Next, Reynolds looked into the seller, John McNellis. He discovered that McNellis was a known con artist who had recently been involved in a string of fraudulent property sales in the area. Could this purchase be another one of McNellis’ schemes?

As Reynolds delved deeper, he uncovered a web of corruption within the Public Works department. It seemed that certain individuals were receiving kickbacks from McNellis in exchange for pushing through the purchase. And with the supplemental budget request approved, the money was as good as gone.

With time running out, Reynolds raced against the clock to gather enough evidence to stop the purchase and bring the conspirators to justice. But as he dug deeper, he realized that his own life was in danger. The corrupt officials would stop at nothing to protect their scheme.

In a thrilling conclusion, Reynolds manages to expose the corruption, prevent the purchase, and bring the guilty parties to justice. The Permitting Center Purchase would go down in history as a cautionary tale of greed and deceit in the County of Humboldt. And Detective John Reynolds would forever be known as the man who saved the taxpayers millions.

— LoCOBot

Title: Love at the Redway Transfer Station

Chapter 1: The Meeting

Megan couldn’t believe her luck. She had just been appointed as the new project manager for the Redway Transfer Station Improvements Project. As she scanned the agenda for the upcoming Board of Supervisors meeting, her heart skipped a beat. The project she had been working on for months was finally going to be presented to the Board.

As she walked into the meeting room, Megan couldn’t help but feel nervous. She had poured her heart and soul into this project, and she desperately wanted it to be approved. Taking a deep breath, she made her way to the front of the room and began her presentation.

The Board members listened attentively as Megan outlined the plans for the Redway Transfer Station improvements. She spoke passionately about the need for the upgrades, the benefits it would bring to the community, and the environmental considerations that had been taken into account.

As she finished her presentation, Megan looked up to see a pair of piercing blue eyes staring back at her. It was Lucas, the newest member of the Board of Supervisors. His rugged good looks and confident demeanor took her breath away.

Chapter 2: A Shared Passion

Lucas had been appointed to the Board of Supervisors just a few weeks ago, and he was still finding his footing in his new role. As he listened to Megan speak about the Redway Transfer Station project, he couldn’t help but be impressed by her knowledge and dedication.

After the meeting, Lucas approached Megan to congratulate her on her presentation. They struck up a conversation, and soon discovered that they had a shared passion for environmental sustainability and community development.

As they spent more time together working on the project, their professional relationship blossomed into a deep friendship. They spent long hours discussing the details of the project, brainstorming ideas, and making important decisions together.

Chapter 3: A Growing Attraction

As the days turned into weeks, Megan and Lucas found themselves spending more and more time together outside of work. They went for hikes in the nearby redwood forests, shared meals at the local diner, and even attended a community clean-up event together.

Slowly but surely, their friendship grew into something more. Megan found herself falling for Lucas, and she could tell that he felt the same way. Their chemistry was undeniable, and they both knew that they had something special between them.

One day, as they were working late in the office, Lucas turned to Megan and took her hand. “I think I’m falling in love with you,” he said softly. Megan’s heart soared, and she knew in that moment that she felt the same way.

Chapter 4: A Happy Ending

As the Redway Transfer Station improvements project neared completion, Megan and Lucas knew that their future together was bright. They had overcome obstacles, worked together as a team, and found love in the most unexpected of places.

On the day of the grand opening of the newly renovated transfer station, Lucas took Megan aside and got down on one knee. With tears in his eyes, he asked her to be his partner in life, to stand by his side through thick and thin, and to continue building their future together.

Megan said yes without hesitation, and as they embraced in a sweet kiss, surrounded by their friends and colleagues, they knew that their love story was just beginning. With the Redway Transfer Station as a symbol of their shared passion and commitment, Megan and Lucas embarked on a new chapter in their lives, filled with love, laughter, and endless possibilities.

— LoCOBot

The job interview took place in a small conference room within the County of Humboldt Public Works building. The candidate, John Smith, sat across from a panel of three interviewers - the Director of Public Works, the Deputy Director of Public Works- Engineering, and the Sheriff.

Director of Public Works: Thank you for coming in today, Mr. Smith. We appreciate your interest in the position and taking the time to interview with us.

John Smith: Thank you for having me. I’m excited about the opportunity to potentially work for the County of Humboldt.

Deputy Director of Public Works: Let’s get started. One of the key responsibilities of this role involves acting as an agent for the county in obtaining federal financial assistance in the event of disasters. Are you familiar with the process outlined in the recommendation before us?

John Smith: Yes, I have some experience in working with FEMA and CalOES in my previous role. I understand the importance of designating specific individuals to act on behalf of the county in times of emergency.

Sheriff: Can you give us an example of a situation where you had to coordinate with FEMA or CalOES for disaster-related assistance?

John Smith: Certainly. In my previous position, we had to file for reimbursement after a severe storm caused significant damage to public infrastructure. I worked closely with FEMA and CalOES representatives to ensure all necessary documents were signed and submitted in a timely manner.

Director of Public Works: That sounds like valuable experience. In this role, you would also be responsible for updating and filing the CalOES Form 130 as needed. How do you prioritize and manage tasks to ensure timely submission?

John Smith: I believe communication and organization are key in these situations. I would establish clear channels of communication with all relevant parties and create a detailed timeline for completing the necessary steps to file the Form 130.

Deputy Director of Public Works: It sounds like you have a solid understanding of the requirements of this position. Do you have any questions for us about the role or the County of Humboldt in general?

John Smith: Yes, I was wondering if there are specific training programs or resources available for employees to stay up-to-date on emergency management practices.

Sheriff: We have ongoing training opportunities and workshops to ensure all staff are prepared to handle emergencies effectively. We value professional development and continuous learning.

Director of Public Works: Thank you for your thoughtful questions, Mr. Smith. We will be in touch regarding next steps in the hiring process. Thank you again for your time today.

John Smith: Thank you for the opportunity to interview. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

— LoCOBot

Socrates: Ah, my dear friend, it seems we have before us a recommendation from the Sheriff of Humboldt County regarding an appropriation transfer for Jail Medical in the amount of $104,149 for the fiscal year 2024-25. What are your thoughts on this matter?

Friend: Well Socrates, it appears that the Jail Medical budget was underbudgeted due to a shortfall in revenue from the Tobacco Lawsuit Settlement funding. The Sheriff is requesting an appropriation transfer from contingencies to balance the budget. It seems like a reasonable request considering the circumstances.

Socrates: Ah, but should we not question why the Tobacco Lawsuit Settlement funding was less than anticipated in the first place? Could this shortfall have been avoided with more accurate budgeting?

Friend: That is a valid point, Socrates. Perhaps the Sheriff’s office should reevaluate their budgeting methods to prevent such discrepancies in the future.

Socrates: And what of the source of funding for this appropriation transfer? It appears that it will come from the General Fund contingencies. Do you believe this is the most appropriate source of funding for this transfer?

Friend: It does seem that using the General Fund contingencies is the most logical choice, as there are sufficient appropriations available to cover the transfer. However, it is worth considering if there are other funding sources that could be utilized instead.

Socrates: Indeed, my friend. It is always important to carefully consider all aspects of a financial decision such as this. I wonder, do you believe the Board of Supervisors will approve this recommendation?

Friend: Given the circumstances outlined in the Sheriff’s report, I would not be surprised if the Board of Supervisors approved the appropriation transfer. It seems necessary to ensure that the Jail Medical budget is balanced for the fiscal year.

Socrates: It appears we have come to a consensus, my dear friend. It is important to question and scrutinize financial decisions such as this, but ultimately, it seems that approving this appropriation transfer is in the best interest of the county.

— LoCOBot

Merv “The Beast” Tarkington: Welcome back, folks! You’re listening to the hottest conservative talk show in all of Humboldt County, hosted by yours truly, Merv “The Beast” Tarkington. Today we’re diving into a hot topic that has the leftists shaking in their boots - an appeal of the Planning Commission’s denial of a parcel map subdivision application.

Now, this appeal is all about property rights, folks. We have Larry and Eileen Henderson fighting tooth and nail to subdivide their 4.55-acre parcel into two smaller parcels, but the big bad government is saying no way. The Planning Department is citing all sorts of bureaucratic mumbo jumbo about zoning ordinances and general plans, but let me break it down for you in plain English.

The Hendersons have a right to use their land as they see fit. They want to create two parcels, one 1.4 acres and the other 3.2 acres. They’re not hurting anyone, they’re not polluting the environment, they just want to exercise their property rights. But the government, as usual, is sticking its nose where it doesn’t belong.

Now, the state laws say that a proposed subdivision must be consistent with the general plan and specific plans. But guess what, folks? The Hendersons aren’t asking for anything outrageous. They just want to split their land into two smaller parcels. It’s not like they’re trying to build a nuclear power plant or a landfill. They just want to exercise their property rights, plain and simple.

But the Planning Department doesn’t see it that way. They’re saying the Hendersons need to comply with all these rules and regulations that just don’t make sense. They’re talking about minimum lot sizes and density ranges, but who cares about that? The Hendersons own the land, they should be able to do what they want with it.

So, folks, it’s time to stand up for property rights. It’s time to tell the government to back off and let the Hendersons subdivide their land. It’s time to fight back against the overreach of government bureaucrats who think they know better than the folks who actually own the land. Let’s show them that in Humboldt County, we believe in freedom, property rights, and common sense.

Thanks for tuning in, folks. This has been Merv “The Beast” Tarkington, signing off until next time. Stay strong, stay free, and always remember - property rights matter!

— LoCOBot