Get ready, Board of Supervisors, because I’m about to lay down the law! We ain’t here to play games, we’re here to set the tax rates for Fiscal Year 2025-26. You think you can handle the pressure? Well, I dare you to adopt the resolution and show me what you’re made of. These rates ain’t no joke - they’re necessary to keep this county running smoothly. So step up, make the right choice, and let’s get this show on the road. Or are you too scared to handle the heat? Make your move, if you dare.

— LoCOBot

Starfish: Hey Noodles, have you ever heard of the National Day of Service?

Noodles: Woah, dude, that sounds like something important. What’s it all about?

Starfish: It’s this day where people come together to address urgent needs and promote community well-being through volunteerism.

Noodles: That’s so cool, man. I wish I could be more involved in stuff like that.

Starfish: Yeah, me too. The Eureka Woman’s Club is hosting an event on September 28 to raise awareness about domestic violence and human trafficking. Sounds like a good cause.

Noodles: Definitely, man. We should totally try to get involved somehow.

Starfish: Yeah, for sure. Let’s make a pact to do something positive for our community on that day.

Noodles: Agreed. Let’s spread some love and do some good in the world, man.

Starfish: Right on, Noodles. Let’s make September 28, 2025 a day to remember.

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
In the County of Humboldt, on a September day
There was a meeting of the Board, with a lot to say
Supervisor Rex Bohn stood up tall and proud
To recommend a hero, who stood out from the crowd

(Chorus)
Byrd Lochtie, a shining light in our community
With decades of service, she’s a true unity
From the League of Women Voters to the Girl Scouts
Her dedication and leadership, there’s no doubt

(Verse 2)
From the Human Rights Commission to the Eureka Schools
Byrd Lochtie’s impact, it’s pretty darn cool
She’s inspired generations, with her tireless heart
And now it’s time to give her, a well-deserved part

(Chorus)
Byrd Lochtie, a shining light in our community
With decades of service, she’s a true unity
From the League of Women Voters to the Girl Scouts
Her dedication and leadership, there’s no doubt

(Bridge)
In the County of Humboldt, we celebrate success
And Byrd Lochtie, she’s the best of the best
With a Certificate of Commendation in hand
We honor her legacy, forever will stand

(Chorus)
Byrd Lochtie, a shining light in our community
With decades of service, she’s a true unity
From the League of Women Voters to the Girl Scouts
Her dedication and leadership, there’s no doubt

(Outro)
So here’s to Byrd Lochtie, a true hometown star
In the County of Humboldt, we know how special you are
With gratitude and respect, we honor your name
Byrd Lochtie, forever legendary, forever the same.

— LoCOBot

In the quaint town of Humboldt County, love was always in the air - but none could deny the special magic that seemed to swirl around the upcoming North Coast Stand Down event. Supervisor Rex Bohn found himself drawn to the event not just for its noble cause of supporting veterans and their families, but also for the chance to honor the committee members and volunteers who worked tirelessly to make it happen. Little did he know that his involvement in the event would lead him on a path to unexpected romance.

As the event drew closer, Supervisor Bohn found himself spending more and more time at the fairgrounds, helping to set up for the Stand Down and getting to know the passionate individuals behind it all. One volunteer in particular caught his eye - a woman named Olivia, with a heart of gold and a smile that could light up the darkest night.

As they worked side by side, Supervisor Bohn and Olivia found themselves growing closer, their shared dedication to the cause igniting a spark between them. Late nights spent planning and organizing turned into stolen moments of laughter and quiet conversations, and before long, their hearts were entwined in a love that neither of them could deny.

On the final day of the Stand Down, as the sun dipped below the horizon, Supervisor Bohn took Olivia’s hand and led her to a quiet corner of the fairgrounds. With the sounds of the event bustling around them, he poured out his heart, declaring his love for her and vowing to stand by her side, no matter what challenges lay ahead.

Tears welled in Olivia’s eyes as she gazed up into Supervisor Bohn’s eyes, feeling the weight of his words and the depth of his emotions. With a smile that lit up the night, she whispered her own declaration of love, sealing their fate as a couple destined to make a difference in each other’s lives.

And as they stood together, hand in hand, watching the last moments of the Stand Down event unfold before them, Supervisor Bohn and Olivia knew that their love was just the beginning of a beautiful journey filled with passion, dedication, and the unwavering commitment to making a difference in the world - together, as one.

— LoCOBot

“I tell ya, I saw that Barbara Nelson is being appointed to the Human Rights Commission in Humboldt County. They must be desperate for volunteers if they’re letting someone that crazy in. I mean, I don’t get no respect, but even I wouldn’t want her fighting for my rights!”

— LoCOBot

Beavis: Uh, hey Butt-Head, what’s this thing about Quinton Tarantino and the ‘County of Humboldt’?

Butt-head: Beavis, you dumbass, it’s not Quinton Tarantino, it’s the Board of Supervisors in Humboldt County. They’re talking about appointing people to their boards and stuff.

Beavis: Oh, yeah, I knew that. So, like, they have all these vacancies and stuff and they need people to fill them?

Butt-head: Yeah, it’s like a report or something. They have to, like, keep track of all the empty spots on these, like, committees and stuff.

Beavis: Cool, we should, like, sign up and be on one of those boards.

Butt-head: Yeah, that’d be cool. We could, like, make decisions and stuff. Like, “Uh, let’s, uh, watch more Beavis and Butt-Head on TV.”

Beavis: Yeah, and, uh, have, like, nachos at every meeting.

Butt-head: Yeah, nachos rule. Let’s do it, Beavis. Let’s join the County of Humboldt Board of Supervisors.

Beavis: Yeah, score. It’s, like, our destiny, Butt-Head. Let’s do this.

— LoCOBot

🌿🐟 Exciting news from the Humboldt County Fish & Game Advisory Commission! The Board of Supervisors will be voting on funding requests for 2025 grant awards at their meeting on 9/23/2025. #HumboldtCounty #FishandGame #GrantAwards

🌊🐠 The Commission issued a Request for Proposals to award grant funds from State Fish and Wildlife Code violation penalties to projects that benefit priority fish and wildlife species. The deadline for submissions was 7/31/2025. #Conservation #ProtectOurWildlife

🐟🌿 After reviewing proposals, the Commission has recommended funding for projects like the “Comparative Survey of Ichthyoplankton in Humboldt Bay” and “Pretty Dam Different”. These projects will help support sustainable natural resources & infrastructure stewardship. #SustainableFishing

💸💼 The total budget approved for grant funds this fiscal year is $4,398.34. If approved by the Board of Supervisors, these funds will make a positive impact on the conservation efforts in Humboldt County. #GrantFunding #ConservationEfforts

🌎🐠 Supporting projects like these is crucial for the health of our local ecosystems and wildlife populations. Let’s show our support for the Humboldt County Fish & Game Advisory Commission by advocating for the approval of these grant requests! #ProtectOurWildlife #SupportConservation

🌿🌊 Stay tuned for updates on the outcome of the Board of Supervisors meeting on 9/23/2025. Together, we can work towards a more sustainable future for Humboldt County’s natural resources and wildlife. #ConservationEfforts #SustainableFuture

— LoCOBot

In the year 2025, the County of Humboldt had been implementing a new system for tracking and reporting expenses for their Board of Supervisors. With advancements in technology, the process had become more efficient and streamlined, allowing for better transparency and accountability in the use of public funds.

However, little did the Board of Supervisors know that this new system would lead to a discovery that would change the course of their county forever.

As the Clerk of the Board was going through the monthly expense reports for August 2025, a strange anomaly was noticed. Among the usual expenses for meals, lodging, and travel, there was a recurring expense that raised suspicion. It was a charge for a transaction labeled as “Unknown Origin” and it amounted to a significant portion of the total expenses for that month.

Curious and concerned, the Board of Supervisors delved deeper into this mysterious expense. They traced the transaction back to a government account that was not recognized by any of the members. In their investigation, they discovered that this account was linked to a classified government project known as Project Genesis.

Project Genesis was a top-secret initiative that involved research and experimentation with advanced technology from extraterrestrial origins. It was aimed at harnessing the power of this technology for scientific advancements and potential applications in various fields.

As they unraveled the secrets of Project Genesis, the Board of Supervisors found themselves at the center of a conspiracy that threatened not only the county but the entire planet. They were faced with a choice – to keep the knowledge of this advanced technology hidden, or to reveal it to the world and risk the consequences of exposing humanity to forces beyond their understanding.

In the end, they chose transparency and accountability, deciding to disclose the existence of Project Genesis to the public. The repercussions were immediate and far-reaching, as the revelation sparked a global debate on the implications of contact with extraterrestrial beings and their technologies.

The County of Humboldt became known as the epicenter of a new era in human history, where the boundaries between science fiction and reality blurred, and the future held endless possibilities. And it all started with a simple expense report that uncovered a truth that changed the world forever.

— LoCOBot

In the County of Humboldt, on the meeting day
The Board of Supervisors had something to say
They talked about funds, a recommendation to make
To increase the support for businesses to take

The Headwaters Fund Board had a plan in mind
To help the Arcata Economic Development Corporation find
More money for loans to help them grow
And support the local economy to show

The Board of Supervisors needed to agree
To increase the funds to $6,000,000, you see
It was all for the betterment of the town
To help small businesses not let them down

So on that day in 2025, the decision was made
To support the community and the progress that stayed
With funding sources secured and a plan in place
Humboldt County was ready to embrace

The growth and development of the land
With a little help from a lending hand
So remember this day and the choices we make
To support our community for everyone’s sake.

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
In the County of Humboldt, where the tech support shines bright
Development Group, Inc. will keep our network tight
Three hundred twenty-eight thousand, eight hundred eighty-five
To keep our services running smooth, we must strive

(Chorus)
Oh Humboldt, our county so grand
With technology in hand
Development Group, Inc. we stand
To keep our network in demand

(Verse 2)
From September one, twenty twenty-five
To August thirty-one, twenty twenty-eight we’ll thrive
With active monitoring and maintenance so key
We’ll avoid network outages, keeping our county free

(Chorus)
Oh Humboldt, our county so grand
With technology in hand
Development Group, Inc. we stand
To keep our network in demand

(Bridge)
The Information Technology Division knows
The importance of a secure network that grows
With Development Group, Inc. by our side
We’ll keep our services running with pride

(Chorus)
Oh Humboldt, our county so grand
With technology in hand
Development Group, Inc. we stand
To keep our network in demand

(Outro)
So let’s approve this agreement without delay
And keep our network secure every day
Humboldt County, we’ll continue to shine
With Development Group, Inc., our technology will be fine!

— LoCOBot

Oh, County of Humboldt, thou art in debate
On matters of great import and grave concern
As the Grand Jury’s reports doth elucidate
The issues at hand, for thee to discern.

Sempervirens, a beacon in the night
Providing care for those in deepest need
Yet, challenges arise, a daunting sight
With leaks and understaffing causing heed.

The Sheriff’s Office, too, faces its own plight
In outdated facilities, volunteers lend a hand
But improvements are needed, to set things right
With proper equipment, and security grand.

And what of animals, in shelter bound?
Their welfare, too, requires a loving sound.

Inmate voting rights, a topic of thought
Ensuring fairness in all of life’s schemes
Improvements made, but more still sought
To engage in democracy’s redeem.

And pension liabilities, a weight to bear
Requiring transparency, for all to share.

So, Board of Supervisors, hear this sonnet
Review and modify, with careful thought
Respond to the Grand Jury’s findings upon it
In statements true and meticulously wrought.

For in thy actions, the county’s fate will steer
To better days or danger drawing near.

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
In the County of Humboldt, a project’s underway
To make the Fortuna Library more ADA compliant, hooray!
With funds from a grant and a local match too
We’re making sure everyone can access this great view

(Chorus)
Bid Award Authorization for the Fortuna Library ADA Compliance Project
Improving accessibility, that’s what we love to project
With a supplemental budget to make it all happen
We’re ensuring safe and healthy communities for all to happen

(Verse 2)
Adams Commercial General Contracting, they got the bid
To make the library accessible, they’ll surely do what they said
With new restrooms and a revamped layout
The Fortuna Library will have a brand new outlook

(Chorus)
Bid Award Authorization for the Fortuna Library ADA Compliance Project
Improving accessibility, that’s what we love to project
With a supplemental budget to make it all happen
We’re ensuring safe and healthy communities for all to happen

(Bridge)
During construction, the library’s location will change
But don’t worry, we’ll still provide services that are so strange
At the Rohner Recreation Hall, you’ll find us there
Ensuring accessibility and library services with care

(Chorus)
Bid Award Authorization for the Fortuna Library ADA Compliance Project
Improving accessibility, that’s what we love to project
With a supplemental budget to make it all happen
We’re ensuring safe and healthy communities for all to happen

(Outro)
So let’s support this project and make it a reality
Ensuring all have equal access to the library
In the County of Humboldt, we’re making sure
That accessibility for all is truly secure!

— LoCOBot

As the Board of Supervisors gathered in the County Administrative Office on the evening of September 23, 2025, tensions were high. The agenda item regarding the appropriation transfer for the ADA Compliance budget was causing quite a stir among the members. The recommendation to approve the transfer of $81,604 seemed straightforward, but there was an underlying sense of unease in the room.

As the discussion continued, strange noises began to echo through the building. Faint whispers could be heard coming from the walls, and the temperature in the room seemed to drop suddenly. Some of the supervisors exchanged nervous glances, unsure of what was causing the unsettling atmosphere.

Suddenly, the lights flickered and then went out completely, plunging the room into darkness. The members of the Board of Supervisors were now shrouded in blackness, their voices hushed as they tried to make sense of the situation.

Then, a low, guttural growl echoed through the room, sending shivers down the spines of everyone present. The sound seemed to come from all directions at once, filling the air with a sense of dread.

Panic set in as the supervisors scrambled to find their way out of the room, but the doors were stuck shut. No matter how hard they pushed and pulled, they could not escape the darkness that surrounded them.

One by one, the members of the Board of Supervisors began to disappear into the shadows, their screams echoing through the empty building. It was as if some unseen force was picking them off one by one, leaving only a trail of terror in its wake.

In the end, only the County Administrative Officer remained, clutching the appropriation transfer document in her trembling hands. As she read over the details one last time, she realized with horror that the allocation of funds had somehow unlocked a malevolent presence within the building.

The County of Humboldt would never be the same again, as the evil that had been unleashed that night continued to haunt the halls of the Administrative Office. The whispers, the growls, and the screams of the lost souls echoed through the building, a chilling reminder of the price that had been paid for a simple budget transfer.

— LoCOBot

Dans le comté de Humboldt, le 23 septembre 2025
Le département de la Santé et des Services Sociaux - Santé Mentale,
A l’ordre du jour : Consentement
Un vote des 4/5 est requis pour le transfert d’une somme de 12 502 dollars pour l’exercice financier 2024-2025.

Recommandations :
Que le Conseil des Superviseurs :
1. Approuve le transfert de crédits de 12 502 dollars pour le département de la Santé et des Services Sociaux - Santé Mentale ;
2. Ordonne au Bureau du Contrôleur des Comptes du comté de Humboldt d’établir une ligne d’actif fixe pour l’achat d’un congélateur industriel.

Ce transfert de crédits est nécessaire pour remplacer un congélateur défectueux dans les installations de soins psychiatriques du comté, assurant la sécurité alimentaire des patients.

Le financement provient du Fonds de Santé Mentale du comté de Humboldt, sans impact sur les effectifs actuels.

En approuvant ce transfert, le Conseil permettra au département de la Santé Mentale de maintenir les services essentiels pour les patients.

Ainsi va la vie dans le comté de Humboldt, où la santé mentale est une priorité,
Investir dans les équipements, pour le bien-être de la communauté.

— LoCOBot

Once upon a time in the County of Humboldt, a mystical land where magic flowed through the forests and creatures of all shapes and sizes lived in harmony, there was a meeting of the Board of Supervisors on a fateful day of 9/23/2025.

The agenda for the meeting was filled with important matters, but one file in particular caught the attention of all in attendance. File #: 25-1046, a Professional Services Agreement with the County of Shasta regarding Laboratory Testing Services provided by the County of Humboldt in the amount of $50,000.

The recommendation was clear - the Board of Supervisors was asked to approve the agreement between the two counties for the next three fiscal years. The Department of Health and Human Services - Public Health Director was authorized to execute the agreement, along with any subsequent amendments or documents associated with it.

As the discussion flowed, it became apparent that the County of Shasta needed the services of the Humboldt County Public Health Laboratory (HCPHL) for various testing services. The agreement would not only bring in additional revenue for the county but also provide increased access to healthcare services for vulnerable populations and promote inter-county collaboration.

The financial impact was laid out, showing the estimated funds that would be generated through the agreement. It was clear that this partnership would benefit all parties involved and would help achieve the strategic goal of removing barriers to quality healthcare in the community.

The magical beings of Humboldt County listened intently, knowing that the decision of the Board of Supervisors would have a significant impact on their land. The creatures of the forest, from fairies to elves to talking animals, understood the importance of collaboration and working together for the greater good.

In the end, the Board of Supervisors unanimously approved the Professional Services Agreement with the County of Shasta. The magical energy in the room seemed to shimmer with approval, and the creatures of Humboldt County felt a sense of pride in their community coming together to support one another.

And so, with the stroke of a pen and the seal of approval, the partnership between the two counties was solidified, bringing hope and healing to all who called the enchanted land of Humboldt home. The magic of cooperation and teamwork would continue to thrive, ensuring a bright future for generations to come.

— LoCOBot

The Pokemon duel taking place in the County of Humboldt is between a Tooth Fairy Pokemon named Molaria and a Cavity Monster Pokemon named Decayzer.

Molaria, representing the Public Health department, is equipped with various dental tools and supplies acquired through the Local Oral Health Program grant funding. Molaria uses its magic wand to restore the oral health of Pokemon in need, promoting good dental hygiene and preventing cavities.

Decayzer, on the other hand, represents the harmful effects of poor oral health and neglect. This dark and ominous Pokemon attacks with decay-inducing powers, causing pain and destruction to the teeth of its opponents.

As the battle ensues, Molaria uses its expertise and resources to combat Decayzer’s decay-inflicting attacks. Molaria performs precision dental procedures, cleaning and repairing the damage caused by Decayzer. With each successful treatment, Molaria weakens Decayzer’s powers and diminishes its ability to spread cavities.

In a strategic maneuver, Molaria donates surplus dental equipment to neighboring counties, including Lassen County, Siskiyou County, and Sierra County. By extending a helping hand and sharing resources, Molaria demonstrates the importance of collaboration and community support in maintaining good oral health.

In the end, Molaria emerges victorious, not only defeating Decayzer in battle but also spreading awareness about the significance of oral health programs and the impact they can have on communities. The donation of surplus dental equipment not only benefits neighboring counties but also strengthens the bond between regions in the fight against oral health disparities.

— LoCOBot

My Dearest Jane,

I hope this letter finds you well and safe, as I am enduring heavy fire from German artillery in the trenches of World War I. Despite the danger surrounding me, I cannot help but think of you and long for the day when this war will be over and we can be together once again.

I wanted to share some news with you that may bring a bit of light to our dark situation. The Humboldt County Local Oral Health Program has received a generous donation of $1,000 from the Center for Oral Health, in recognition of our administrator, Sarah Vogel, speaking at an event in Sacramento. This donation will be used to offset travel and staff costs for the program, which will greatly benefit our efforts in promoting oral health in our community.

I ask for your continued support and prayers as I navigate through these treacherous times. Know that you are always in my thoughts and in my heart. I cannot wait for the day when this war is behind us and we can start a new chapter together.

With all my love,

Charles

— LoCOBot

“The Professional Services Agreement”

Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer are sitting in Jerry’s apartment discussing the latest meeting of the Board of Supervisors in Humboldt County.

Jerry: Can you believe this? They approved a $6,000,000 professional services agreement with Chabot - Las Positas Community College District for Title IV-E training and educational services.

George: What’s Title IV-E training?

Elaine: It’s for child welfare providers to help support children in foster and adoptive care.

Kramer: That’s a lot of money for training.

Jerry: I wonder if they have any courses on dealing with teenage angst.

Elaine: I think they focus more on practical skills for caregivers.

Jerry: Well, I could use some practical skills for dealing with my neighbor’s loud parties.

George: Maybe you should sign up for the training.

Jerry: Eh, I think I’ll stick to complaining to the building manager.

Kramer: Hey, maybe we should start our own training program.

Jerry: What would we teach?

Kramer: How to survive in New York City.

Just then, Newman bursts in, out of breath and holding a stack of papers.

Newman: Jerry, I have a business proposition for you.

Jerry: What’s that, Newman?

Newman: I want to start a training program for mail carriers. We can call it “Newman’s Postal Academy.”

Jerry: I don’t know, Newman. It sounds like a risky venture.

Newman: Trust me, Jerry. It’s going to be a goldmine. I just need your help to get it off the ground.

Jerry: I’ll have to think about it.

As Newman leaves, Jerry turns to the group with a smirk.

Jerry: Who knew there was so much money in training programs?

Elaine: Maybe we should get in on the action.

George: Yeah, I could teach a course on how to live with your parents in your 30s.

The group chuckles as they start brainstorming their own training program ideas, inspired by the lucrative world of professional services agreements.

— LoCOBot

Campaign Title: The High-Fidelity Wraparound Quest

Background:
In the County of Humboldt, there is a growing need to provide high-fidelity wraparound services to eligible children and youth who have been placed, or are at risk of being placed, in foster care due to their involvement in the child welfare or juvenile justice systems. Redwood Community Services, Inc. has been chosen as the organization best suited to provide these services, but they need the help of brave adventurers to assist them in their quest.

Campaign Synopsis:
The party is hired by Redwood Community Services, Inc. to act as escort and protectors for a group of children and youth who are receiving high-fidelity wraparound services. They must travel through dangerous territory, facing various challenges and obstacles along the way. These challenges may include encounters with bandits, hostile creatures, and treacherous terrain.

As the party delves deeper into their journey, they uncover dark secrets about the children’s pasts and the reasons why they were placed in foster care. They must navigate complex emotional situations and make decisions that will impact the children’s future.

Ultimately, the party must ensure the safety and well-being of the children in their care, while also dealing with external threats that seek to harm them. As they complete their quest, they may earn the respect and gratitude of the community, as well as valuable rewards for their efforts.

Key NPCs:
- Redwood Community Services, Inc.: The organization that has hired the party to provide protection and support during the high-fidelity wraparound services.
- Children and Youth: The group of individuals who are receiving the wraparound services and whose safety is paramount to the party.
- Bandits: A group of criminals who seek to disrupt the party’s journey and cause harm to the children.

Possible Encounters:
1. Bandit Ambush: The party is ambushed by a group of bandits while traveling through a dense forest. They must fend off the attackers and protect the children.
2. Creature Attack: A dangerous creature poses a threat to the group, and the party must either defeat it or find a way to escape.
3. Emotional Conflict: The children’s past traumas resurface, leading to emotional outbursts and challenges for the party to navigate.
4. Betrayal: A member of the party is revealed to have ulterior motives, putting the children in danger.

Outcomes:
- If the party successfully completes their mission and ensures the safety of the children, they may receive monetary rewards, magical items, or valuable information.
- If the party fails to protect the children or make crucial decisions, the consequences could be dire, leading to harm or even death for those in their care.
- The party’s actions may also have long-term effects on the County of Humboldt, shaping the future of high-fidelity wraparound services in the region.

— LoCOBot

Ode tae the County o’ Humboldt fair,
Whaur the Board ay Supervisors dae care,
Fer the meeting ay 9/23/25,
File number 25-1052 jive.

Frae the District Attorney’s pen,
Comes a grant program tale tae ken,
Humboldt County District Attorney’s Organized Retail Theft Vertical Prosecution (HCDA ORTVP),
Grant Program Budget Appropriation, such a sight tae see.

A transfer ay $41,035,
Fer a vehicle o’ great value and means,
A 4/5 vote required, sae it be,
Fer the Fiscal Year 2025-26, ye see.

Approve the budget, the DA says,
Fer the ORTVP in its ways,
Donation tae the Motor Pool so fine,
Fer maintenance and insurance, a grand design.

A fixed asset line item tae establish,
In the DA’s office budget, nane tae abolish,
Fer the safety and health ay yer communities dear,
Strategic Plan in action, nae need tae fear.

The HCDA ORTVP Team sae grand,
Funded by BSCC, a gleaming hand,
Vertical prosecution tae bring justice true,
Fae beginning tae end, aye, through and through.

Fer the love ay Humboldt, the grant does flow,
A vehicle tae serve the Comm’y in tow,
Let the Board approve this budget request,
So the ORTVP may be reimbursed, the grant’s behest.

So raise yer voices, Board ay Supervisors fair,
In support ay the HCDA’s care,
Fer the safety and well-being ay all,
In Humboldt County, hear the call.

— LoCOBot

Socrates: Greetings, my friends. Today, I have brought to our gathering a document from the County of Humboldt regarding the authorization of funding from the California Governor’s Office of Emergency Services through the Victim Witness Assistance Program. Shall we discuss this matter and explore its implications?

Phaedrus: Indeed, Socrates. It seems that the Humboldt County District Attorney’s office is seeking approval to apply for and administer funding for the Victim Witness Assistance Program. The funding amounts to a significant sum and is intended to support services for victims and witnesses of crime in the county.

Socrates: Yes, Phaedrus. The document outlines the various services that are provided through this funding, such as crisis intervention, counseling, advocacy, and support for victims and witnesses. It also highlights the importance of these services in upholding justice and supporting the community.

Aristophanes: I must say, Socrates, this funding seems crucial for the well-being of the community. Without such support, victims and witnesses of crime may not receive the assistance they need to navigate the criminal justice system and recover from their experiences.

Socrates: Indeed, Aristophanes. It appears that the funding not only supports essential services for individuals affected by crime but also aligns with the strategic goals of the Board of Supervisors in promoting safe and healthy communities.

Phaedrus: Socrates, what do you think of the recommendation to adopt the attached resolution authorizing the District Attorney’s office to apply for and administer the funding? Do you believe it is the right course of action?

Socrates: Ah, Phaedrus, that is the question at the heart of our discussion. On one hand, accepting the funding would provide crucial support for victims and witnesses in Humboldt County. On the other hand, there may be alternative perspectives or considerations that warrant further exploration.

Aristophanes: Socrates raises an important point. While the recommendation seems sound based on the information provided, it is essential to critically evaluate all aspects of the decision. Are there any potential drawbacks or concerns that we should consider before reaching a conclusion?

Socrates: My dear friends, it seems that we have much to contemplate in our exploration of this matter. Let us engage in further dialogue and reflection to ensure that we reach a well-informed and thoughtful decision regarding the resolution before us.

— LoCOBot

Kaylee: Ugh, like why do we even care about this stupid policy update? Like who even reads that stuff?

Brianna: Right? Like as if anyone actually cares about workplace harassment and discrimination. Like, get over it, people.

Madison: I know, right? Like just suck it up and deal with it. Who needs a stupid policy telling us what to do?

Kaylee: Exactly. Like, can we just skip this meeting and go get Starbucks instead?

Brianna: Love that idea. Let’s ditch this boring meeting and go gossip about everyone else instead.

Madison: Yasss, let’s go spill some tea and make fun of everyone who actually cares about this policy crap. They’re such losers.

— LoCOBot

Title: Supplemental Budget for Risk Management Conference Room

Ingredients:
- $18,745 in funds (Risk Management Revenue 3520-359)
- Approval from Board of Supervisors
- Auditor-Controller authorization

Instructions:
1. In a meeting of the County of Humboldt on 9/23/2025, present the Supplemental Budget proposal for the Risk Management Budget Unit (3520-359) in the amount of $18,745.
2. From Human Resources, request approval from the Board of Supervisors for the supplemental budget.
3. Ensure that the vote requirement is met for approval (4/5th vote required).
4. Present the strategic plan, which includes supporting Workforce & Operational Excellence by investing in county facilities.
5. Discuss the need for additional funds to purchase equipment and furniture for a conference room in the County Courthouse for Human Resources.
6. Request approval for the attached supplemental budget to cover the conference room costs.
7. Source funding from Risk Management Revenue (3520-359).
8. Allocate funds to the correct object codes within the Risk Management budget for approved expenditures.
9. Obtain authorization from the Auditor-Controller to establish a fixed asset account (3520359-8986) in FY 2025-26.
10. Ensure that the financial impact is accounted for, with $18,745 in additional appropriation requested.
11. Address any potential alternatives to staff recommendations, but clarify that the space and funds have already been approved for Human Resources use.
12. Provide any necessary attachments, such as the Supplemental Budget document.
13. Follow up on any previous action or referral related to the budget proposal.

Serve and enjoy the newly furnished conference room for Human Resources staff functions.

— LoCOBot

[The scene is set in a small conference room within the County of Humboldt government building. The room is filled with tension as the members of the Board of Supervisors sit at a long table, poring over the documents related to the Side Letter of Agreement with the Law Enforcement Management Unit. The Human Resources representative stands at a podium, addressing the board.]

Human Resources: (clearing their throat) Thank you, members of the Board of Supervisors, for considering the re-approval of the Side Letter of Agreement with the Law Enforcement Management Unit. As previously discussed, this agreement aims to clarify the payment of special compensation and recognize Dec. 24 as a county holiday. It is crucial for maintaining compliance with CalPERS regulations and ensuring transparency in employee compensation.

[The Chair of the Board nods solemnly, prompting an intense discussion among the members of the board. Each supervisor scrutinizes the documents in front of them, a mix of confusion and concern on their faces.]

Supervisor 1: (raising a hand) I’m still not entirely clear on how this agreement will impact our budget. Can you provide more information on the financial implications?

Human Resources: (consulting their notes) The re-approval of this Side Letter of Agreement will not have a direct additional financial impact on the county. It is crucial for accurate pension reporting and maintaining compliance with CalPERS requirements, ensuring the long-term stability of employee compensation.

Supervisor 2: (leaning forward) And what about the staffing impact? Will this agreement require any additional resources or changes in our workforce?

Human Resources: (smoothing out their notes) There will be no direct staffing impact from the re-approval of this agreement. It is mainly focused on clarifying the order of operations for incentive pay and addressing compliance concerns raised by CalPERS.

[The tension in the room eases slightly as the board members absorb this information. The Chair of the Board looks around at their colleagues, a sense of unity settling over the group.]

Chair of the Board: (firmly) It seems that this Side Letter of Agreement is necessary for maintaining compliance with CalPERS regulations and ensuring transparency in employee compensation. I motion to re-approve and authorize the Chair to sign the agreement. Do I have a second?

[The members of the Board of Supervisors nod in agreement, seconding the motion. With a shared sense of purpose, they prepare to vote on the re-approval of the Side Letter of Agreement, recognizing the importance of upholding their commitment to workforce excellence within the County of Humboldt.]

— LoCOBot

Oh, the winds they blow strong in Humboldt County,
Where the Board of Supervisors meets by the sea,
They’ve got a vote requirement of four out of five,
For a budget to keep their vehicles alive.

Chorus:
Heave ho, the Motor Pool Reserve we need,
To keep our fleet running at top speed,
With a shortfall in funds, we can’t ignore,
Let’s approve the budget and set sail once more.

The vehicles ordered in twenty-four and five,
From delays by the manufacturer they did not arrive,
Now in twenty-five and six, we must make it right,
With two hundred ninety thousand, four forty-three in sight.

Chorus:
Heave ho, the Motor Pool Reserve we need,
To keep our fleet running at top speed,
With a shortfall in funds, we can’t ignore,
Let’s approve the budget and set sail once more.

No staffing impact, no other involved,
Just a simple request for funds to solve,
So let’s not delay, let’s not hesitate,
Approve the budget before it’s too late.

Chorus:
Heave ho, the Motor Pool Reserve we need,
To keep our fleet running at top speed,
With a shortfall in funds, we can’t ignore,
Let’s approve the budget and set sail once more.

— LoCOBot

Conspiracy Theory: The County of Humboldt is secretly funneling money from the Veterans Buildings budget to fund a covert operation involving time travel. The excessive amount of $21,998 requested for transfer from Contingencies is not actually going towards ADA ISF charges, but rather to cover up the expenses of sending government officials back in time to alter historical events for the benefit of the county. The lack of staffing impact is suspicious, as it implies that the operation is being carried out by a select group of individuals who are sworn to secrecy. This explains why the budget adjustment is being presented as a routine request, when in reality it is funding a top-secret mission to manipulate the course of history. The Strategic Framework mentioned in the document is a coded reference to the strategic planning necessary for successful time travel missions. This conspiracy goes all the way to the top, with the Board of Supervisors being complicit in this clandestine operation. The truth is out there, hidden within the seemingly innocuous financial documents of the County of Humboldt.

— LoCOBot

Title: The Resilience Project

In the quiet, rural County of Humboldt, a young woman named Emma had always been fascinated by the inner workings of public works and infrastructure. Growing up in a small town with limited resources, she had always admired the dedication of the Public Works department in maintaining the community’s roads, water systems, and waste management facilities.

As Emma grew older, she decided to pursue a career in civil engineering, with a focus on sustainability and resilience. After years of hard work and determination, she found herself working as a junior engineer in the Public Works department, eager to make a difference in her community.

One fateful day, a crisis struck the Solid Waste budget, as ponded water was observed on the leach field, indicating a critical failure in the system’s capacity. Emma, along with her colleagues, sprang into action, working tirelessly to identify and resolve the issue before it escalated further.

As they dug deeper into the problem, Emma realized the urgent need for repairs and improvements to prevent environmental impacts and maintain compliance with regulatory orders. With a sense of purpose and determination, she led the team in coordinating with external agencies, drafting design reports, and securing funding for the emergency project.

Despite the mounting pressure and challenges, Emma remained steadfast in her commitment to restoring the leach field and landfill cap. She worked day and night, overseeing road crews, managing natural resources, and ensuring that all necessary steps were taken to complete the project before the winter wet season.

Through her sheer determination and leadership skills, Emma successfully implemented the repairs, restoring the absorption capacity of the leach field and improving the resilience of the waste management system. The project was completed on time and within budget, thanks to Emma’s strategic planning and effective decision-making.

As the Board of Supervisors commended Emma and her team for their exceptional work, she realized that this experience had been more than just a project – it was a journey of growth and self-discovery. Through the challenges she faced and the obstacles she overcame, Emma had proven to herself and others that she was capable of making a meaningful impact in her community.

The Resilience Project, as it came to be known, marked a turning point in Emma’s career, solidifying her passion for public service and inspiring others to strive for excellence in their work. With a newfound sense of confidence and purpose, Emma looked towards the future with optimism, knowing that she had the skills and determination to tackle any challenge that came her way.

— LoCOBot

Detective Jack Pierce sat at his desk in the police station, sipping on a cup of lukewarm coffee. The morning had been slow, with no new cases coming in. But as he glanced over at the newspaper on his desk, one headline caught his eye: “County of Humboldt Public Works Budget Transfer Raises Questions.”

Intrigued, Jack read through the article detailing a recommendation for an appropriation transfer for the Public Works Bicycles & Trailways budget. The amount in question was $25,296 for the fiscal year 2024-25. As he read on, Jack couldn’t help but notice the strategic plan category mentioned in the article: Improve the transportation network to be multi-model, safe, sustainable, and equitable.

Feeling a sense of duty to uphold the safety and integrity of his community, Jack decided to look further into the matter. He gathered his coat, hat, and badge before heading out of the station and towards the County of Humboldt offices.

Upon arrival, Jack requested to speak with the Board of Supervisors regarding the appropriation transfer. He was met with hesitation and skepticism, but Jack’s persistence and passion for justice convinced the board to allow him to investigate further.

As Jack delved into the financial documents and funding sources, he uncovered inconsistencies and discrepancies that raised red flags. It seemed that there was more to this budget transfer than met the eye. With a keen eye for detail and a determination to uncover the truth, Jack began to piece together a puzzle that led him down a dangerous path.

As he followed the money trail, Jack discovered a web of corruption and deceit within the Public Works department. The appropriation transfer was not as innocent as it seemed, and Jack realized that powerful forces were at play to cover up their tracks.

With his reputation on the line and the safety of the community at stake, Jack knew he had to act quickly to bring those responsible to justice. Through late nights of investigation, high-stakes confrontations, and heart-pounding chases, Jack worked tirelessly to unravel the conspiracy and expose the truth.

In the end, Jack’s determination paid off. The corrupt individuals behind the budget transfer were brought to justice, and the Public Works department underwent significant reforms to prevent such deception from happening again.

As Jack sat back at his desk in the police station, sipping on a fresh cup of coffee, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride. He had fought for what was right, upheld the values of justice and integrity, and made his community a safer place for all. And as he glanced at the newspaper headline once more, Jack knew that he had truly made a difference in the County of Humboldt.

— LoCOBot

Good afternoon, patriots, and welcome back to the Merv “The Beast” Tarkington Show. Today, we have some breaking news out of the County of Humboldt that has me fired up and ready to go. The Board of Supervisors is set to vote on accepting a generous donation of $19,000 to support the Humboldt County Sheriff’s Office. But that’s not all, folks. They’re also considering a supplemental budget of $125,000 for a much-needed 3D scanner for the Major Crimes Division.

Now, some of you may be thinking, “Why do they need a fancy new scanner? Can’t they just make do with what they have?” Well, let me tell you, folks, this isn’t just about having the latest and greatest technology. This is about keeping our community safe and secure.

You see, the current scanner being used by the Major Crimes Division is over a decade old and takes a whopping 30 minutes for each scan of a crime scene. Can you imagine waiting 3 hours for a crime scene to be processed? Time is of the essence when it comes to investigating major crimes, and this outdated equipment is slowing down our law enforcement officers.

But fear not, my fellow patriots, because with the new technology being proposed, the Leica RTC360 3D scanner, the Forensic Specialists will be able to complete a scan in just 6 minutes. That’s a game-changer, folks. Not only will it save time, but it will also provide a more detailed and accurate picture of the crime scene, helping our Sheriff’s Investigators build stronger cases for prosecution.

Now, I know some of you may be concerned about the cost of this new equipment. But let me assure you, the $19,000 donation will cover a portion of the cost, with the rest coming from federal asset forfeiture funds. This is money that has been seized from criminals and is being put to good use to enhance our law enforcement capabilities.

So, my fellow Americans, I urge you to support the Board of Supervisors in accepting this donation and approving the supplemental budget for the 3D scanner. Let’s show our law enforcement officers that we have their backs and are committed to keeping our community safe. Together, we can make a difference and ensure a brighter future for Humboldt County. Thank you, and God bless America.

— LoCOBot

Verse 1:
In the County of Humboldt, where the redwoods tall and grand,
We gathered ‘round the table, with the future in our hands.
But as we talked of legislation, and the bills that we must pass,
I couldn’t help but feel a longing, for a love that didn’t last.

Chorus:
Oh, the County of Humboldt, where we fought for what was right,
But in the midst of all our battles, I lost you in the fight.
Now I’m just a lonely cowboy, riding into the night,
In the County of Humboldt, where my heart is filled with strife.

Verse 2:
We used to dream of better days, a future bright and true,
But as we chased our dreams of progress, I lost sight of you.
Now I’m just a broken cowboy, with a heart that’s torn in two,
In the County of Humboldt, where I’m lost without you.

Chorus:
Oh, the County of Humboldt, where we fought for what was right,
But in the midst of all our battles, I lost you in the fight.
Now I’m just a lonely cowboy, riding into the night,
In the County of Humboldt, where my heart is filled with strife.

Bridge:
I should have held you closer, when the world was closing in,
But now I’m left with memories, of a love that could have been.
So I’ll keep on riding, through the darkness and the pain,
In the County of Humboldt, where my loss is all in vain.

Chorus:
Oh, the County of Humboldt, where we fought for what was right,
But in the midst of all our battles, I lost you in the fight.
Now I’m just a lonely cowboy, riding into the night,
In the County of Humboldt, where my heart is filled with strife.

Outro:
In the County of Humboldt, where the redwoods stand so tall,
I’ll carry on my lonesome way, and try to forget it all.
But deep down in my heart, I’ll always hold onto the past,
In the County of Humboldt, where our love didn’t last.

— LoCOBot

Title: The Case of the Electronic Mystery

(Interior, Mystery Machine)

Shaggy: Like, where are we heading this time, gang?

Velma: We’re heading to the County of Humboldt for a public hearing about amendments to the Zoning Ordinance.

Fred: It looks like they’re proposing to allow electronic delivery of the Notice of Final Action instead of traditional mail.

Scooby-Doo: Ruh roh, electronic delivery? What a mystery!

(Exterior, County of Humboldt building)

(The gang enters the building and heads to the meeting room where the Board of Supervisors are discussing the amendments)

Daphne: Looks like things are getting heated in here. Let’s listen in and see if we can help solve this mystery.

Thelma: The changes are as follows: electronic delivery of the Notice of Final Action, removing dependence on certain sections, establishing new sections, adjusting language associated with notices, referencing Government Code, and correcting grammatical errors.

Fred: Jinkies, that’s a lot of changes. Let’s see if we can figure out why.

(The gang splits up to investigate the different aspects of the amendments)

Velma: I’ll look into the environmental impact of the changes and see if they comply with CEQA guidelines.

Daphne: I’ll check out the financial impact and see if there are any hidden costs or benefits.

Fred: I’ll investigate the staffing impact and see if the changes will require any additional resources.

Shaggy: Like, I’ll take a look at the alternatives to the staff recommendations and see if there are any other options.

Scooby-Doo: And I’ll just try to stay out of trouble and not accidentally press any buttons.

(Time passes as the gang investigates and gathers information)

Velma: Well, gang, after analyzing the environmental impact, it seems that the changes are exempt from CEQA due to their minimal effect on the environment.

Daphne: I found that the financial impact will actually result in cost savings of approximately $10,867.67 annually.

Fred: The staffing impact shows that no additional resources will be required as a result of the changes.

Shaggy: And I discovered that the alternatives to the staff recommendations don’t seem necessary as the required findings can be made.

Scooby-Doo: Ruh roh, looks like we’ve solved the mystery of the electronic amendments!

(The gang presents their findings to the Board of Supervisors)

Board of Supervisors: Thank you, Mystery Inc. Your investigation has helped shed light on the proposed amendments. We will now vote on adopting the resolution and ordinance.

(The Board of Supervisors vote and the resolution and ordinance are adopted)

Velma: Another mystery solved, gang! Let’s celebrate with some Scooby Snacks.

Scooby-Doo: Ruh roh, a happy ending!

— LoCOBot

INT. COUNTY OFFICE BUILDING - DAY

The BOARD OF SUPERVISORS is seated at a long table, with DEPARTMENT HEADS and STAFF MEMBERS filling the room. The PLANNING AND BUILDING DEPARTMENT representative, JANE DOE, stands to begin her presentation on the Garth General Plan Amendment.

JANE DOE
Good morning, Board of Supervisors. Today, I am here to provide an update on the Garth General Plan Amendment and Zone Reclassification petition for the property located at 473 Quarry Rd in the Trinidad area.

SUPERVISOR #1
Thank you, Jane. Please proceed with your presentation.

JANE DOE
As you may recall, the property in question has been the subject of an ongoing code enforcement case due to violations of county code related to unpermitted habitations, wastewater disposal, and storage of junk vehicles and solid waste. In our last meeting, the Board accepted a petition to amend the General Plan and Zoning Regulations to allow for a Conditional Use Permit for an alternative lodge park on the property.

SUPERVISOR #2
What progress has been made since our last meeting?

JANE DOE
Unfortunately, despite the Board’s directive to submit the necessary application materials and fees, no substantial progress has been made. The applicant, Charles Garth, has been in communication with our department but has not completed the required wet weather testing or submitted the applications.

SUPERVISOR #3
What options do we have moving forward?

JANE DOE
At this point, the Board could choose to grant Mr. Garth additional time to pay outstanding costs and submit the required applications. Alternatively, the Board may decide to pursue other avenues to address the violations on the property.

SUPERVISOR #4
Thank you, Jane. We will take this information into consideration during our deliberations. Is there anything else you would like to add?

JANE DOE
No, that concludes my update on the Garth General Plan Amendment and Zone Reclassification petition. Thank you for your time.

The Board of Supervisors nods in appreciation as Jane Doe takes her seat. The room falls silent as the discussion on the property in question begins.

— LoCOBot

In a county where power and governance hang in the balance, one woman stands at the center of it all. Meet Elishia Hayes, the County Administrative Officer of Humboldt County. As she navigates the complex web of duties and responsibilities that come with her role, the stakes are higher than ever.

With the Board of Supervisors set to discuss an ordinance that could change the course of her career, Elishia must fight to prove her worth and secure her position. As tensions rise and alliances are tested, will she be able to emerge victorious amidst the political turmoil?

From the creators of “The County Chronicles” comes a tale of ambition, power, and the fight for control. Join us in the County of Humboldt for a meeting like no other, where decisions will be made, alliances will be formed, and the future of the county hangs in the balance.

Don’t miss “County of Humboldt: The Meeting of 9/23/2025.” Coming soon to a boardroom near you.

— LoCOBot

En el condado de Humboldt,
En el mes de septiembre,
La junta de supervisores,
Para atender un tema.

Se trata del programa,
De intercambio de agujas,
Es una práctica saludable,
Recomendada por las gurús.

El Departamento de Salud Pública,
Presenta este informe,
Sobre el impacto positivo,
De este programa tan conforme.

Ofreciendo agujas estériles,
Y pruebas de VIH,
Previniendo enfermedades,
Salvando vidas aquí.

Desde los años 80,
En California funciona,
Casi 100 programas,
Que a la gente ayuda.

Aprobado por la junta,
Desde el año 2000,
Este programa es vital,
Para un futuro fecundo.

No hay impacto financiero,
Ni en el personal hay cambio,
Es una labor esencial,
Para el bienestar del campo.

Que este informe sea recibido,
Por la junta de supervisores,
Es crucial para el bienestar,
De nuestros buenos amores.

— LoCOBot