Take note, Humboldt fashionistas! Of our trendsetting county’s current crop of supervisors, none consistently make more consciously bold fashion statements than current chairperson Steve Madrone. This fact is inarguable. Week in and week out, the prints and colors worn by the man in the center of the dais demand your attention and attack your retinas. Dude’s got shirts. 

But which of Steve’s sleeves achieve greatness above all others? We must decide! First, LoCO will take you on a tour of the many moods of Madrone. Then you will need to choose your ultimate Steve-fit. Let’s go!

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1. EAGLE OF TRUTH AND JUSTICE: Some classic Steve threads, right here. A celebration of one of nature’s most majestic critters that serves the dual purpose of reminding you that Steve absolutely loves America, should you be the type to doubt that.

2. DAY BEAR, NIGHT BEAR: Madrone oversees Humboldt County’s Fifth District, a sprawling landscape — bigger than Rhode Island! — that contains huge swaths of forest containing many bears. This shirt indicates Steve’s understanding of the weight of his stewardship. 

3. SENSIBLE GRANDPA SWEATER: Hey, it’s not all eye-punching wilderness prints in Steve’s closet. The man can also rock a super comf, wooly pullover when he wants to feel cozy. Life’s not always a performance, kids.    

4. OFFICIAL STEVE: Similarly, occasionally Steve needs to signal that he means business. This sleek elected official’s version of a letterman jacket is perfect for touring the scene of a recent natural disaster or standing behind a governor (or, more likely, a state senator).

5. SAFARI STEVE: Dammit. Is that an okapi? An ibex? Let this be a warning: If you don’t regularly use the antelope knowledge you absorbed as an Encyclopedia-reading youth, you will lose it. Surely Steve knows. (Springbok?) 

6. SUBTLE SAFARI STEVE: Pronghorn! That’s it. Whew. Anyway, if you buy an entire ream of antelope cloth, it would be irresponsible to waste it. A true conservationist can squeeze two shirts out that roll, by golly!

7. THE MAN: Oof. Was Steve feeling sad this day? Do not vote for this Steve. (Tie’s cool, though.)

8. I SPEAK FOR THE TREES: Oftentimes commenters will accuse LoCO of some bias or another. Fine. Here is our bias. This is Steve’s best shirt. The shapes! The colors! The stitching! Steve is here to party and he don’t care who knows it! In fact, let’s put a measure on the ballot that would require Madrone to wear this shirt every meeting. Rex would surely support it. 

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OK! You know the assignment. Do your homework, Humboldt! Vote below!

—Andrew Goff