Today
@ 4:20 p.m. / Pollz
POLL! What Will You Miss Most About the Penny?
After years of both parties fantasizing about the penny’s demise, President Trump announced this weekend that he had instructed the secretary of the U.S. Treasury to stop producing the Lincoln-emblazoned coins most of us treat like garbage anyway.
So, goodbye, penny.
Since they were barely money, give us your two cents and tell us what your favorite actual use for pennies was by voting in our very scientific poll below.
?? %
“Making wishes.”
?? %
“Attempting to derail trains.”
?? %
“Filling the doorhandle in my car assuming I’ll use them during subsequent Taco Bell runs but then nah.”
?? %
“Smashing them into trinkets celebrating cool places I used to be able to afford to go.”
?? %
“Making my otherwise-square loafers fashionable so the other kids know what a hip cat they’re dealing with.”
?? %
“Placing them on the eyes of my deceased loved ones.”
?? %
“Dropping them from tall buildings with precision timing to vanquish my enemies.”
?? %
“Thinking I’ve come up with a unique and cost-effective way to floor my bathroom before ending up in the emergency room from inhaling resin fumes.”
?? %
“Filling a sock full with them to produce a weapon designed to reinforce feelings of fear into my little brother until mom catches me and sends me to the corner store to use the very same pennies to buy said twerpy brother candy as a lesson about making amends or some shit.”
?? %
“Picking one up for good luck, being reminded of the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, then launching into a boisterous, animated performance of the Gettysburg Address until the staff at Los Bagels asks me to leave.”
818 votes cast.
Poll closes: Tomorrow @ 4:20 p.m.
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