What a great decision you made! A serene, soothing late-spring hike in the Headwaters Forest Reserve is just what you needed. No service. No schedule. Just the lush foliage holding you close and allowing you to forget the growing chaos in the world. Ahhh.

But what’s that jutting from that redwood stump!? Why, it’s a grimy forgotten bong! How long has that been there, you wonder. As you pick it up you inspect the stem. Hey! There’s still some green in this bowl, baby! Maybe this is the universe telling you to kick your hike into the next gear.

“For the forest,” you proclaim, as you boldly pull the trash bong to your lips.

But as you flick your lighter, a burst of emerald smoke erupts from the, uh, mouth… part? (I forget what that’s called.) Suddenly, a ripped genie with green, bark-textured skin and a man bun is standing before you. Whoa! You tremble!

“You honor nature with your presence, broseph,” the genie says as the smell of patchouli invades your nostrils. “I shall grant you one special wish: to remove forever a single invasive plant from Humboldt County! Choose wisely!”

The genie is waiting impatiently! Quick, LoCO Pollz voter! Which plant will you eradicate?!