Rumplestiltskin age 2

As a mother of 3 boys, I have come to realize that males are born thinking very differently from females. There are things little boys do that you can NEVER imagine a little girl doing.

One night, not too long ago, my kindergartener was squatting naked on the bathroom counter examining himself with a pleased expression in the mirror.

“Mom! Mom!”

Realizing by the sound of his voice that this was a full attention moment, I put down the toothbrush.

“Mom,” he declared proudly with an expression I had seen on other males when groping their own favorite piece of anatomy, “I can hold my pecker between my knees!”

Pause. Deep breath. Think about that. Knees!!!! Already we have serious exaggeration problems. To the male species, size is important even when they are only 5. Imagine the importance when they are full grown. Imagine the embellishment then!

There are moments when I long to exchange just one of my sons for a little girl. It would be nice not to feel like an alien in my own family.

(Yes, this really happened. And, no, the piece of anatomy in question didn’t quite reach that far.)