Christmas tree


Shh! Be vewy vewy quiet while hunting Chwismas twees.

For most people, Christmas tree hunting involves maneuvering a car through crowded city streets and choosing among hundreds of twine wrapped evergreens. However, for the average country male, the tree hunt is the only part of Christmas to which he can relate. And it involves a long hike through deserted hills carrying a large sharp tool and possibly some sort of alcoholic beverage. And, if you are very very lucky to be married to a redneck, it can involve a large gun or two…just in case.

To country folk, a boy’s first tree is an important step on the way to manhood.  The tree should be small, the saw very sharp, and the surrounding grownups must guide the choice carefully. The resulting prize should be made much of in order to increase the boy’s sense of ownership in the Christmas tree hunt and insure that someone will be happily available for future hunts when the father is too aged or infirm to properly bring in his own kill.

  First Christmas tree

Above see the proud youngest son of my family delightedly holding aloft the prey by its antlers. Below see the oldest son, taking down the tree under the direction of his father who precariously balances the gun in case the tree should decide to turn and attack.

A large gun as well as a sharp saw can provide a quick takedown. When properly stuffed and mounted, the tree can be a lovely addition to your house for weeks.  See the video below of Redding reporter, Ryan Sabalow, bagging his Christmas tree and teaching his daughter the art of arboreal taxidermy.

Merry Christmas from the Humboldt Hills.