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There is a skunk living underneath my house, and sometimes it sneaks in through the cat door. When I’m sitting on the back porch smoking, he’ll peek his head up from underneath the steps. The other night I heard him rustling around, so I got up to shoo him out. I flipped on the light, and for about a tenth of a second I was terrified to see him barrelling down on me from the living room. I had contrived to place myself directly in his escape route.

Not cool. I admit that is not cool. But now a colleague is trying to tell me that is a situation that must be dealt with proactively — violently, even. He is urging various methods of skunk-murder on me. The general consensus in my world seems to be that something that must be done. NOW. By any means necessary.

Whereas myself, I’m more inclined to simply encourage the little fellow to seek other quarters. Close the cat door at night. Block his little tunnels, maybe. There is a vast wooded area right across the street; once cat food is not in such plentiful supply, certainly he will up sticks sooner or later.

I’m not going to get bit. I doubt I’ll even get sprayed. I like to think that I can man up as well as anyone when something needs doing, but in this case I don’t see the pressing threat.

Do you have any thoughts about this? Understand that your response will be read allegorically, perhaps as a comment on the use of American military force in the post-Cold War era.