One of Humboldt County’s finest gave Rush Limbaugh a call this morning. Hilarity ensued.
Somewhat surprising to see such a chivalrous gentleman take the positions Rush takes below. Surely this will occasion a rethink of his political philosophy.
Transcript follows:
RUSH: Fortuna, California. Hi, Denise. Tell me your last name is not Ilitch!
CALLER: (laughing) No, it’s not.
RUSH: (laughing)
CALLER: It’s not. (laughing) You want to know my last name? I don’t think you do.
RUSH: No, no, no, no, no. You don’t want to give it.
CALLER: It’s not Ilitch.
RUSH: I would love to know your last name but for your own privacy, safety, security…
CALLER: For my own protection, no. We’re in Humboldt County, which I know is a liberal bastion and all that. But we’re in a little enclave here that’s very, very conservative.
RUSH: Let me tell you something, Denise. I have been to Humboldt County.
CALLER: (laughing)
RUSH: I have made two speeches in Humboldt County — two Rush to Excellence appearances in Humboldt County — one at Humboldt State.
CALLER: Oh! Where they had hairy armpits?
RUSH: (chuckling) Well, yeah, in the airport there was a woman —
CALLER: (laughing) Oh yes! You can always tell if they go to Humboldt State.
RUSH: — with her German shepherd guarding her that had hairy armpits. You’re exactly right.
CALLER: The girls have hairy armpits. The closer you get to us, the more southern you get, the more conservative they are — and in Fortuna, we don’t allow that.
RUSH: What do you mean the more southern you get? What do you mean southern in Humboldt County? What did I miss?
CALLER: Well, Fortuna is about 50 miles from the (garbled) and then the farther north you get —
RUSH: Oh! Oh! Oh! The more southern you get, oh. I thought you meant the more southern you get in attitude. I’m sorry. More southern part of the county.
CALLER: The more southern part of the county.
RUSH: Yeah, yeah.
CALLER: No telling about the real southern part of the county.
RUSH: No, I’m not kidding you. When I was in the airport at Humboldt County, when I was leaving there was an obviously militant feminist. She had this German Sheppard. You could spot this a mile away. I knew what was going on the moment I walked into the waiting room, hairy armpits and all. You’re exactly right.
CALLER: Yeah, see? Oh, yeah. It’s just wonderful. But in Fortuna, the sun shines.
RUSH: This woman was waiting to be attacked, and there was no chance.
CALLER: What?
RUSH: Never mind.
CALLER: Oh, okay.