UPDATE 5/29: No way.

UPDATE 5/27: A local diving badass named “Zack” made what Queen Sohotshe Burns referred to as a “valiant attempt” to locate her crown. No dice, meaning a fortune still rests at the bottom of Humboldt Bay. Good luck to all. Original post below.  

(OK. If you’re not caught up in this weekend’s Kinetic spirit, we sorta apologize for the following frivolous post.)

(Wait. Maybe we don’t. Have more fun.)

Total flipping’ tragedy neck punched Kinetic Grand Championship proceedings Sunday afternoon. While dutifully rooting on bay crossing sculptures during the annual Madaket-hosted boozy Queen’s Cruise, 2012 Rutabaga Queen Sohotshe Burns lost her royal crown to the watery depths. What exactly happened is unclear — some suspect the wind, or the wake, or some-pot-stirrer-said-I-pushed-her-but-I-totally-didn’t.

Whatever the cause, Rutabaga royalty is seeking experienced abalone divers for a way important mission. The image to your right is believed to be the final photo (h/t Nikki Hicks) of Queen Sohotshe with her royal lid and below is the best guess at where the crown may be chillin’. The queens say that they’ve secured a $600 $700 reward for the crowns safe return, but keep in mind that the people who ponied up may not have been of sound mind.

And finally, in a show of regal generosity, 2013 Queen Lady Luck temporarily offers her crown to her inconvenienced colleague.

Good luck, divers. Be a hero.

PREVIOUSLY: LoCO’s 2013 Kinetic Koverage