Trim, trim, trim. Trim, trim, trim some more. Are you doing it? Trimming, clipping, cleaning buds. Enjoying summer camp for big kids. Processing all that dep weed… The gift that keeps on giving. Good for you!

But I think it’s time for you to come down off the hill for a day, you know? Take a little break, hang out with some different people, see some music, do some stoner networking, party like the fucking rockstar that you are.

Yeah, dawggs. Here’s what’s up: Next Saturday, Sept. 13, The 1st Annual Golden Tarp Awards is happening SoHum-style at the Mateel Community Center in Redway. It’s gonna be off the chain. It’s gonna be off-with-the-tarp!

The people at Garberville’s medical marijuana dispensary Wonderland Nursery and Ganjier Media are behind this inaugural one-of-a-kind light deprivation cannabis competition, which features classes, workshops, speakers, movies and live music.

The competition: Qualified medical marijuana patient cultivators were given a chance to enter their light dep weed into one of four categories: Floral, Fuel, Earth or Fruity. The deadline to enter was Aug. 21.

All the entries were lab tested by Pure Analytics down in Santa Rosa, and entries that showed the presence of pesticides, chemical growth regulators, fungal growth and/or pathogens are disqualified.

Only the best deppies — the four contaminant-free entries from each category that lab results confirm have the highest total cannabinoids — are going on to the final round of judging, which takes place at the event next Saturday.

The coolest part about this event: The judges panel will be selected from ticket holders with valid 215 recommendations. This is based on an optional lottery at the venue entrance — don’t worry, you don’t have to enter the lottery if you don’t want to…

But if you do enter the lottery and you do score a judgeship, you will be tasked with evaluating the top four strains in each of the four categories. The lucky judges will be sampling all 16 of the strains at the event. Hahahahaha! (Yes, that’s me, laughing.) This isn’t for y’all one-hit-gets-me-so-high wonders out there. However, if you’re a seasoned medical marijuana user, you can handle it. (Yo, Puff — This sounds like a job for you!)

The big winners will be announced at during Saturday’s 6-7 p.m. awards ceremony. Only one dep weed can win the hand-crafted bronze greenhouse-with-a-golden-tarp trophy and the Golden Arm Tarp Puller donated by High Grade Wholesale. There are CBD awards too. (Only in Humboldt…)

What else, what else? The educational portion of the event happens between noon and 4 p.m. Speakers include Matt Kumin from California Cannabis Voice, Mendo CSA and cannabis farmer Casey O’Neill (check out his Cannabis Manifesto on SoundCloud), Gro-Kashi soil experts Alan Adkisson and Cuauhtemoc Villa and Forever Flowering Greenhouses’ Jonathan Valdman.

The 707 Cannabis College faculty is presenting the following classes and workshops: “Juicing Fresh Cannabis Leaf for Health and Vitality”; “Predicting Your Potency and Profile: How Vegetative Cannabinoid Testing Can Change Your Universe”; “Who Wants My Cannabis?”; “Safety With Concentrates”; and “Propagation: Hands-on Clone Making.” Faculty members are also providing trim machine demos, hands-on scissor instruction and a Q&A on Rick Simpson Oil (RSO). (Gotta have your 215 rec for the clone making workshop and the trimming/scissoring demos.)

The live music starts 4:20 p.m. The lineup features Potluck (yesss), Yung LB, Green R. Fieldz (who always wears dope hand-blown glass pendants, BTW), Eli Mac, Kiwini, Jah Maoli and Siaosi. Ladies, all of these guys are hot. Please come out so the G-Tarp is not a total sausage fest. DJs will be jamming in the outside area and there’s live music in the vendor tent all day too.

The event runs from noon-9 p.m. at the Mateel; it’s 18+; tickets are $30 for general admission and $50 for VIP. Find all the deets here.

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This past week, KMUD Radio, our community’s most valuable cannabis news resource, had some excellent coverage of rumored unlawful searches and seizures at private marijuana gardens.

In her weekly cannabis report segment on the Sept. 5 local news, Kerry Reynolds talks about paramilitary-style raids that have allegedly been happening in Mendo and Lake Counties, where “no search warrants are served and armed men descending from helicopters refuse to provide identification as they slash cannabis plants and also damage personal property.”

Is law enforcement behind these raids? I’m still not clear on that. But according to Reynolds’ coverage, Lake County medical marijuana patients that were allegedly raided in this manner recently filed a lawsuit against a number of county officials in federal court to stop the madness. Listen to her coverage for the scoop.

And listen to Reynolds’ Cannabis Consciousness program today (Sept. 7) from 1:30-3 p.m. for expert advice on medical cannabis farmers’ rights during raids.

Back on Wednesday, Sept. 3, the Civil Liberties Monitoring Project talk show featured Mendocino County Sheriff Tom Allman. (It aired from 7-8 p.m.; find it in the KMUD archive.) Host Bonnie Blackberry and Allman talked about law enforcement objectives with commercial cannabis garden eradication, trespass grows, environmental degradation and illegal water diversions.

They talked about who exactly can do marijuana eradication in Mendo — the County of Mendocino Marijuana Eradication Team (COMMET), municipal law enforcement agencies, state agencies, federal agencies, California Highway Patrol…; and what these specific agencies are out to eradicate, exactly.

Allman talked about how you can set up your garden in a way that shows you are compliant with Prop 215 and Mendo regulations. He talked light dep. He talked about how law enforcement officers are supposed to identify themselves and the lack of identification on the private helicopters used during Mendo law enforcement marijuana raids.

And Allman emphatically said he hasn’t been shown evidence or proof that there are vigilantes out eradicating or stealing marijuana; he’s only heard 2nd- and 3rd- hand accounts of vigilante raids…

Then the phone lines were then opened for some interesting calls from the public. For sure check it out.

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Have a wonderful day, LoCOs.