In a cringeworthy scenario last month, reminiscent of the Cold War classic movie Dr. Strangelove, the governor of Hawaii was unable for nearly 20 minutes to let his fellow citizens know that the imminent ballistic missile warning they’d just received was a false alarm. Why the delay? He’d forgotten his Twitter password.
Mobile phone users in the state received this message at 8:07 am on January 13: BALLISTIC MISSILE THREAT INBOUND TO HAWAII. SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. Fortunately for all concerned—perhaps especially the citizens of North Korea, who would have presumably targeted for an immediate reprisal—it was, in fact a drill. At first, the error was blamed on the klutzy user interface. Governor David Ige said that, instead of clicking on the “DRILL-PACOM-(CDW)-STATE ONLY,” a hapless employee clicked on the link just two lines above, “PACOM-(CDW)-STATE ONLY.” Thus unwittingly taking the phrase “intuitive UI” to a whole new level.
Poor guy, we’ve all been there. If you have never hit “reply all” on an email intended for just one recipient (the “all” including the boss you’ve just referred to as a “moronic asshole”) you’re in a minority. To its credit, and after years of beta testing, gmail has finally recognized that we’re all human (most of us) and now allows users to program in a 30-second delay after hitting “send.”
Two
weeks after the incident, turns out that the above is moot: the
operator wasn’t hapless after all. According to the Guardian,
“…the employee, a watch officer at the emergency management
agency, believed the threat of a missile attack to be real as he had
not heard a recorded message announcing it as an exercise.” Which
didn’t prevent his being fired, along with the resignation of the
agency’s chief. Another employee quit and a fourth was suspended.
But hey, this sort of thing only happens once in a blue moon*, right? Well no. Three days after the Hawaii gaffe, anyone tuned into NHK (Japan’s public broadcasting system) by mobile phone or website would have seen the message: “North Korea appears to have launched a missile…The government urges people to take shelter inside buildings or underground.” In this case, the correction was issued five minutes later.
* Last Wednesday
All of which is supremely deja vu-ish. Peter Sellers as Group Captain Lionel Mandrake of the UK Royal Air Force (one of his three roles, including the titular Dr. Strangelove, a hybrid Henry Kissinger/Edward Teller) has to alert the President that an order to attack the Soviet Union has been sent by a deranged USAF general. The only way Mandrake can call the President is from a regular phone—but he’s short 20 cents to make the call. Here’s the clip. I totally recommend the entire 1964 movie; black humor was never so nigrescent.
I’m
writing this on Thursday. Meaning that if you’re reading this,
we’ve made it through three more days without a nuclear exchange
with North Korea, intentional or otherwise. Watching the movie should
cure you of any anxiety, though, given its full title: Dr.
Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb.