This is what it’s going to sound like. Shop With a Cop file footage.

Are you anywhere near Old Town or Target right now? If so, find some earplugs quick.

One of the least-noticed big bummers of the Dec. 20 earthquake was that “Shop With a Cop” was scheduled for that day, and was of course postponed. “Shop With a Cop” is an annual Humboldt County Christmas tradition wherein local first responders escort local kids who might need a nice Christmas present to Target for a shopping trip.

But the event was postponed, not canceled. And we’re doing the do-over now! The kids are gonna get rides in police cars and fire trucks and ambulances from their gathering spot at the Wharfinger all the way down Waterfront Drive and it’s going be a blast.

Now, what’s one thing you gotta do when you give a little kid a ride in a vehicle that is equipped with a siren? That’s right — you gotta blare that siren absolutely as loud as you can. 

So imagine several dozen of these vehicles parading down Waterfront at low speed with all the sirens cranked to 11, and what you’ve got is a recipe for a panicked public. Tsunami? Air raid? End of the world?

None of these things. It happy kids and happy cops having a blast! It will end soon.