August 2023

Yes, it Is Smoky Out. No, You Should Not Call 911 Because of That

March 2023

LET THE SIRENS WAIL! All Simulated Hell Should Break Loose at 11 This Morning, as the Tsunami Warning System Tests its Gear

February 2023

All Simulated Hell is About to Break Loose in Old Town, Because an Earthquake-Delayed ‘Shop With a Cop’ Event is Happening This Afternoon

October 2022

GET READY to SHAKE OUT! At 10:20 This Morning, All Simulated Hell Will Break Loose to Help YOU Prepare for the Big One

MORE CONTROLLED BURNING TODAY! Calfire is Gonna Light Up Loleta Again, and Will Torch Some Acreage Near Kneeland Tomorrow

SMOKE TEST: Don’t Be Alarmed If You See Smoke Coming Out of The Sewers Over the Next Few Weeks, City of Eureka Says

March 2022

DEBRIEF: The US Civil Air Patrol Reflects Upon a Successful Test Mission, in Which Airmen Took to the Skies to Practice Warning Humboldters About a Tsunami

TSUNAMI PREPAREDNESS TEST! The Sirens Will or Should Be Rip-Roaring on the Peninsula Tomorrow, and Manila Residents Are Urged to Practice Getting to Higher Ground

No Local Tsunami Threat From Big Earthquake That Struck Near Fukushima, Japan This Morning

December 2021

Lights and Sirens Downtown? That is Only Shop With a Cop

DON’T WORRY, HSU! Those Screams That Will Emanate From Gist Hall Monday are Only Practice For When There is a Real Active Shooter

August 2021

BE FOREWARNED: All Simulated Hell Will Break Loose in the Humboldt State Dorms Thursday Evening

March 2021

Tsunami Test Today! Get Ready for Sirens and Emergency Alerts (but They’re Not Gonna Buzz Your Cell Phone This Time)

December 2020

Calfire Is Getting Ready to Burn Up Some Kneeland

May 2020

PG&E Choppers Cruising Eureka and South Today, Says Utility; They’re Scoping Gas Lines for Leaks

March 2020

FEAR NOT, CITIZEN: Most of Those Coast Guard Choppers You’ll See Soon Are Merely Sector Humboldt Bay Maintaining and Increasing Their Badassery to Prepare for the Day When They Will Have to Rescue You

December 2019

NON-EMERGENCY: That Unholy Caterwauling of Sirens and Mass Police Presence That’ll Hit Eureka Any Minute Now is Naught but ‘SHOP WITH A COP’

October 2019

Yay, the Power’s Back! What Next? County Offers Tips, Including ‘Prepare for Next Time’ and ‘Shop Local’

NOT HUMBOLDT! PG&E is Shutting Off Power to Nearly 200,000 Customers Again Starting This Afternoon, But Not, We Reiterate, To Humboldt

(UPDATE) FACEBOOK IS MAKING YOU DUMB! No, There is Not Another Mass Power Outage Planned This Week!

July 2019

Cops Swarm Eureka’s West Side Fearing a Shooting, Discover BB Gun

June 2019

First-Response Agencies are Training for a ‘Mass Casualty Incident’ at Winship Middle School Today

April 2019

PG&E Will Be Droning and/or Choppering Humboldt’s Power Poles Over the Next Few Weeks

March 2019

CHOPPERS GALORE! Sector Humboldt Bay is Gonna Be Doing a Whole Lot of Flying Over the Next Two Weeks

HEADS UP, SoHUM! Many of You Will Experience a Power Outage in the Middle of the Night

December 2018

Hear a Bunch of Sirens in Eureka This Morning? Don’t Worry! It Was Just the Annual ‘Shop With a Cop’ Day

October 2018

(UPDATE) That White Goo Found on the Humboldt Courthouse Yesterday Was Nothing Bad, Says County

ONLY A TEST: FEMA is About to Get Up in Your Phone!

July 2018

No Danger of Cutten Being Blown Up by Suspicious Item Thanks to Humboldt Bomb Bot

June 2018

It’s COPTERIN’ Season! PG&E Buzzing Fortuna, Eureka, Arcata Today

May 2018

ONLY A DRILL: Mad River Hospital to Conduct Mass Shooting Simulation Tonight

March 2018

‘ONLY’ A TEST! All Simulated Tsunami Hell is About to Break Loose, as County Tests Emergency Response Network

ATTENTION SHELTER COVE: Here Are the Days You Will Hear Your Cool New Tsunami Siren Blare!

January 2018

Massive Earthquake Strikes Off Alaska; No Tsunami Threat to Humboldt County, West Coast

Social Media Threat That Seems to Target McK High Is Actually Targeting a Different ‘MHS,’ and is a Hoax

August 2017

SoHum Rattlesnake Doesn’t Know How to Bite Correctly, Thankfully

June 2017

FAKE WILDFIRE THIS WEEKEND! All Simulated Hell Will Break Out on the McKay Tract Saturday as Local Firefighters Gear Up for Summer

Did You See a Million Cop Cars Hauling Ass Southbound Out of Eureka This Morning? Here’s What That Was

FAKE FUEL SPILL TOMORROW! They’re Going to Simulate a Catastrophic Gas Spill on the Bay to Prepare for the Real Thing, God Forbid

February 2017

SILVER ALERT CANCELED: Missing Eureka Woman Found Safe and in Good Spirits

November 2016

WHOOPS! Public Works ‘Smoke Test’ in Old Town Prompts Large Emergency Response From Eureka Firefighters

June 2016

Washington School was Briefly on Lockdown This Morning

April 2016

Firefighters Respond to Smoke at Eureka’s Pho Thien Long Restaurant, Consider Staying for Lunch

No Local Tsunami Threat From Latest in Series of Japan-Rattling Earthquake

March 2016

Humboldt County Readies Itself For the Tsunamis That Will Inevitably Come

Don’t Panic This Wednesday, Humboldt! Tsunami Sirens Will Blare But it’s Only a Test!

February 2016

All Simulated Hell is About to Break Loose in the Eel River Valley

Don’t Panic, Carlotta! The Sheriff’s Office is Blowing Up a Tree at Pamplin Grove

December 2015

At Ease, Eureka! That Unholy Caterwauling Was Only Cops Going Christmas Shopping

Don’t Freak Out About That Light on the Hill, Arcata and McKinleyville