LoCO published GOU #1 on January 5, 2015. Titled “New Year’s Thoughts about Aging,” I managed to riff on senior discounts, erectile dysfunction, angina, moussaka, pedometers, travel and prostate cancer. All in 412 words. Which sort of was an omen for Things to Come, i.e. my short attention span is mirrored by the variety of topics I’ve messed about with during the subsequent not-quite-ten years. Let’s see, I wrote about:

Zorba the Greek, nudity, Christianity, insomnia, death, Clint Eastwood, GMOs, vulvas, the end of the Roman Empire, gluten, bike helmets (pros and cons), gravity, tides, exercise, Layla, mondegreens, Prague, dildos, vaccinations, spam, Kill Bill, BLM, Nigerian scams, almonds, PDT, Beirut, movie film frames, heroin, Palenque, Islamophobia…

…and that was just in the first 50! (I doubt either of us has the patience to check all 500.) All in all, I’ve written nearly a third of a million words for the Sunday LoCO. None of it exactly deathless prose, but I do give myself credit for never missing a deadline. I didn’t know I had it in me!

“How do you come up with your ideas?” I’m sometimes asked. I don’t, that is, there’s no process I follow in deciding what to write about for next week. It just happens. I’ll be reading something (I read a lot), chatting to someone in Ramones or OTCC, paddling my kayak (harbor seals below, pelicans above) at peace with the world…and there it is. A topic, sent by one or more of the Muses. Clio (Muse of History) has been especially kind to me, as has Urania (Astronomy) and, if I’m particularly blessed, Thalia (Comedy). You can’t just invoke a Muse, of course, they only come when they’re least expected. I guess I made all the right offerings to them in some previous life.

That third-of-a-million is currently calling me. Our lives don’t usually incorporate such large numbers, but I can think of a couple of exceptions. When Louisa and I walked the Camino de Santiago some years back, 540 miles in 30 days, I estimated that represented a million steps. Then there’s breathing: 6 breaths a minute, that’s…Hey Siri, what’s 6 times 60 times 24 times 365.25 x 81?…255, 616, 560 breaths to date. Heartbeats? Half a million a year (the distance to the moon and back in miles).

And that’s where my mind goes, i.e. all over the place. Maybe it’s time to take a break.

Yup, that’s what I’ll do. Let go of my regular-as-clockwork (excepting the two clocks on Second Street in Old Town Eureka, they haven’t been regular in years) columnar rant. I’ll just be writing from now, as they say in Friends’ Meetings, “As the spirit moves me.” When I might actually have something worthwhile to say.

Thanks all of you for following and commenting, you know who you are. Thanks Hank, thanks Angie. It’s been a fun run.