PREVIOUSLY: 

Last week the Outpost let you know that we would, once again, be accepting submissions of election limericks, giving the public a way to share their opinion on local candidates and ballot measures while limiting the style to a shorter, more entertaining format than typical endorsement letters. 

Now, since it is Valentine’s Day, we will show our love to those who answered the call by publishing the first round of limericks submitted to our inbox.

FIRST DISTRICT SUPERVISOR

There once was a Coastie named Gordon
Who once rescued folks from the ocean
Clatworthy’s his name
Housing folks is his game
To elect him would be our great fortune!

– Carol Ann Conners

THIRD DISTRICT SUPERVISOR

Mike is so involved in community
He listens to all with impunity.
Always logical and fair,
Despite chaos in the air,
Let’s keep Mike and seek unity!

– Christine Champe

SUPERIOR COURT JUDGE DIVISION ONE

I have a confession to make,
I don’t know April but here’s my take:
The incumbent is scum,
Look it up, he’s a bum!
The choice is a clear piece of cake.

– Christine Champe

MEASURE A

We will vote NO on Measure A.
Despite the rhetoric they say.
This won’t help the county,
Or the farmers around me.
Join me and say NO way.

– Nathan Whittington

###

In Humboldt, there’s a measure named A,
But confusion’s the game they play.
Farmers, take heed,
Don’t let them mislead,
Vote No, keep their tricks at bay.

Democrats, Republicans, Greens unite,
Agreeing this measure isn’t right.
For Humboldt’s sake,
A stand we must take,
Vote No and defend with all our might.

– Casandra Taliaferro

###

The Cannabis Reform Initiative …
Well that seems to me as indicative
Of our need to grow weed
(‘cos it’s safer than speed)
And the current cost is so prohibitive.

– Bob Turvey

###

Good intentions, galore, galore
Humboldt unites, the stuff of lore
At the end of day
Measure A — no way
Together voters: NO on A

– Dylan Mattole

MEASURE C

There’s a fire department in Fieldbrook
Whose value is oft overlooked.
But if we pass measure C
Then your next emergency
Will have a far better outlook.

– Teri Huber-Bundros

###

So far it seems that Measure A, the Cannabis Reform Initiative, has sparked the most poetic inspiration in our readers. The candidates, not so much. We only received one (printable) poem related to the First District race, one for Third District, and not a single measly limerick for any of our Second District candidates.

The Superior Court Judge race also garnered just one limerick. Hey, inspiration can’t be forced! But perhaps after reading this first round, some of you will feel the need to write a little something for the candidate you support who hasn’t had any limerick love yet. 

Did you send us a limerick that didn’t get published? It is probably because of one of these reasons:

  • It was too gross! 
  • It contained libelous claims about one of the candidates!
  • It was not even close to being a limerick! And we were pretty lenient on this, so if yours didn’t make the cut, it must have been real off. (See Hank Sims’ post from last year shaming everyone and reminding them of proper limerick elements and meter here.)
  • It had absolutely nothing to do with the upcoming local elections! Not sure why, but this was surprisingly common and several people sent us some pretty strange limericks.

Now that we have outlined the minimum requirements for publication, maybe you want to take another stab at it. So write some great limericks — or, OK, even terrible ones — in support of your favorite candidate or initiative, and send them to news@lostcoastoutpost.com with the words “Election Limerick” in the subject line!