Areas in blue were added to the Second Congressional district under Proposition 50; areas in red were subtracted from it. 

Welcome, Redding! Welcome, Alturas! Welcome, Mt. Shasta and Yreka and Anderson and Burney Falls!

You have been assimilated into the Second District now. Or will soon be, come the next election.

You will be pleased to know that we Humboldters, your cousins on the coast, were happy to append you to our realm! The Humboldt County Elections Office has just released its fourth post-election tally, and with almost all the votes counted it appears that around 64 percent of us approved of your assimilation.

Congratulations! If you need any tips adjusting to your new reality, we stand ready to assist you as best we can.

We are aware that some number of you were strongly anti-assimilation. Shasta County’s vote currently stands at a hurtful 70 percent against Proposition 50. 

What you need to remember now is that we coast-dwellers are a forgiving people, so long as the offenders have offered penance. Send us a few truckloads of Fall River Numb Numb Juice and you will soon find all your sins wiped clean.

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• LOL! The Maps Have Been Leaked, So Check Out What Our New Congressional District Will Be if Texas Republicans and California Democrats Get Their Way
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