Everything is going great. Sure, every morning we awake to a world in which our phones are breathing informational fire at our faces, but let’s try to focus on something dumb and frivolous for a hot minute, yeah?

Amidst the light doom and gloom of the present, Humboldt’s new state assemblyman, Chris Rogers (D-Santa Rosa), found time to introduce Assembly Bill 666 — well-timed, I guess — which designates none other than our beloved Bigfoot as California’s official state cryptid. “Finally,” the citizenry cried out in unison!  

For those invested, the entirety of the text of Rogers’ bill is as follows:

AB 666, as introduced, Rogers. State cryptid.

Existing law establishes the state flag and the state’s emblems, including, among other things, the golden poppy as the official state flower and the California redwood as the official state tree.

This bill would state the intent of the Legislature to enact legislation that would designate Bigfoot as the official state cryptid.

Bill Text

The people of the State of California do enact as follows:

SECTION 1. It is the intent of the Legislature to enact legislation that would designate Bigfoot as the official state cryptid.

The peoples’ business. Gettin’ ‘er done.

Real quick, though. If we may assert one quibble with this pandering legislative gesture, Assemblyman Rogers: A cryptid, by definition, is a creature “that has been claimed to exist but never proven to exist.” So, essentially, you are attempting to codify into California state law that Bigfoot is mythical. 

Hmm. Well, enjoy your next trip to Willow Creek, Chris. Expect lively debate. 

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