Eureka resident Daniel Lawrence Hafer died on October 17, 2024 in the ICU-Blue at UC Davis Medical Center in Sacramento.

Daniel was born on May 30, 1947, in Chicago, Illinois, with his slightly older twin brother Dennis Frank Hafer. When they were six weeks old they were adopted by Donald and Violet Hafer, and a year later the Hafer family moved to Elkhart, Indiana.

When the twins were seven years old, the Hafers adopted a pair of natural sisters — Marilyn, who was a year older than them, and Bonnie, who was three years younger. Family life revolved around school, church, music lessons, paper routes, neighborhood play with all the other post-war boomer kids, and frequent visits to grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins in Chicago.

Later the Hafers took in a foster child, Dorinda, who became a great support to them over the years as the four older kids had gone their separate ways to California and Canada.

All of the children knew they were chosen and loved for who they were.

After high school, Daniel went off to Bob Jones University while Dennis waited a semester to join him — the younger brother paving the way for the elder. After graduation in 1969, Daniel enlisted in the Army, where he served in Headquarters Companies in Viet Nam and Germany. Dennis joined the Navy before moving to Canada.

Upon discharge from the Army in 1972, Daniel returned to Elkhart for a very brief period of time, before relocating to Los Angeles, knowing only his sisters Marilyn and Bonnie, who had already moved to Southern California.

Daniel spent his 43-year career in the insurance industry as a group health claims adjuster, working first for Pilot Life Insurance and then later for the Writer’s Guild.

Most importantly, it was in Los Angeles, on August 13, 1975, that Daniel met Steven Preston and developed a loving relationship that lasted for 49 years, including 16 years of marriage. They celebrated their sixteenth wedding anniversary on October 10, 2024 with cupcakes for all the medical team of the cardiac ICU at UC Davis Medical Center in Sacramento.

In 2014 Daniel and Steve began to think about moving from Los Angeles and were drawn to either Oregon or the northwest coast of California. After several house-hunting trips to both Eugene and Eureka, they decided to re-locate to Eureka, finding their home after four-and-a-half years of looking for “the right house in the right neighborhood at the right price.” A new cat, Opie, was adopted and life began anew in Eureka, where they became active members of Christ Episcopal Church and formed a strong and supportive relationship with members of the congregation.

In November 2023 Daniel was first diagnosed with a slow-growing chronic leukemia (CMML), and in July 2024 with congestive heart failure.

By the beginning of September Daniel seemed to be improving from the congestive heart failure, with lots of changes in meds, dosages, and frequency, in an attempt to get his edema resolved and blood pressure and pulse stabilized. The CMML-related anemia was to be dealt with once the congestive heart failure was stable.

On September 7, 2024, Steve took Daniel to the ER at Providence/St. Joseph Hospital in Eureka, since he was struggling to breathe, where a heart attack was diagnosed and he was stabilized.

Then the medical roller coaster began, with waiting for an open bed at a larger hospital after the decision was made to transfer Daniel from Eureka. There is a photo of a hospital visitor in Eureka — Kiya, the therapy dog — which Daniel enjoyed immensely. Daniel was life-flighted to UC Davis Medical Center in Sacramento on September 14. Then came days of waiting, tests, recommendations and treatments, including many heart and kidney procedures. Days of hope were followed by days of despair as Daniel’s kidneys began to fail. October 10 was one of the good days as Daniel and Steve celebrated their 16th wedding anniversary in a cardiac-care unit, but by October 14 Daniel was returned to the ICU and his condition was fragile. October 15 his condition became critical and dialysis was performed. On October 16 Daniel’s heart stopped, CPR was performed and he was placed on life-support with a ventilator; his condition was considered stable but critical, with multiple organ failure.

Through it all, Daniel just wanted to go home to Opie and to Eureka. Early in the morning of October 17 Daniel went home, to the arms of the Christ he loved. Steve was with Dan throughout his six-and-a-half week hospitalization, and was with him, holding his hand, at the time of his death.

Beginning sometime in 2017, Daniel began showing an interest in his biological heritage and the ancestry quest began. Original pre-adoption birth certificates showed that Daniel’s birth-mother was Helen Irene Lucas of Tab, Indiana, while the birth father was listed as ‘Intentionally Omitted’. Helen was one of six sisters and one brother and Daniel made contact with at least two maternal cousins.

Further investigation led Daniel to the Carter family of Hoopeston, Illinois, a family of five sons and four daughters. Various ancestry hints suggested that the unknown father was possibly one of the Carter brothers. Daniel wrote to the son and daughter of Eugene Carter, presenting his evidence and suggesting they take a DNA test. Both Ned and Mary Beth agreed and, when the tests showed they were siblings of Daniel, Ned’s first words were that he was “discombobulated” and that the results would change his life.

Around this time, Daniel’s twin brother Dennis took an Ancestry test and the results showed that he was related to Daniel (no surprise there), but was also related to a Ned Carter and to a Mary Beth Carter Nevitt. To say that these results changed everyone’s lives would be an understatement. Everything is different now, as there are now new branches of the Lucas, Carter, and Hafer family trees as well as the branches of their extended families — spouses, in-laws, cousins, nieces and nephews.

When they all –- Ned and his children Robert and Ethel (all from Sweden), Mary Beth, Daniel and Steve, and Dennis — met on Balboa Island in 2019 for a face-to-face reunion, they spent days getting to know each another. Daniel and Dennis remarked to each other of their amazement at their acceptance by the extended Carter family, including their cousin Lynne Carter Armstrong (whom they both have met), and Ned and Mary Beth’s maternal cousins Carol Pinnell and Marilyn Anderson. Daniel also developed a friendship with a Carter second cousin once removed, Beth Harrison, bonded by their shared Episcopal faith. Over the years Daniel also got to know a Lucas cousin, Karen Olsen.

Even if there were no relationships, Daniel and Dennis have said would want these people to be their friends.

Over recent weeks Ned, Mary Beth and Dennis have remarked more than once how Daniel’s curiosity and perseverance, and ultimately his discoveries, have immeasurably changed their lives.

Daniel Lawrence Hafer is survived by his loving husband of 16 years (after a 33-year involuntary engagement) Steven Preston and their beloved cat Opie, Dan’s identical twin brother Dennis Frank Hafer, adopted sisters Bonnie Mitchell and Marilyn Vadase, half-brother Ned Carter, half- sister Mary Beth Carter Nevitt, foster-sister Dorinda Jones, and numerous cousins, nieces, and nephews. He was pre-deceased by his adopted parents Violet (Gran) and Donald E. Hafer, his birth parents Helen Irene Lucas and Eugene Carter, and Helen’s other son from her marriage, Michael Lee Branam, a half-brother Daniel never met.

Daniel Lawrence Hafer’s life will be celebrated at Christ Episcopal Church in Eureka at 10:30 a.m. on January 25, 2025.

May Daniel’s memory be a blessing.

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The obituary above was submitted on behalf of Daniel Hafer’s loved ones. The Lost Coast Outpost runs obituaries of Humboldt County residents at no charge. See guidelines here. Email news@lostcoastoutpost.com.