Make Alcatraz Great Again!

THAT is the news of the hour, and not any other so-called news that some very former friends of the president keep talking about for some reason!

Look: We all know what Alcatraz once was, back in the days when things made sense. It was where we sent the baddest of the bad. And guess what: They didn’t like it very much, I can tell you that! 

Now it is time to sweep out the school tour groups and restore this great American island to its former glory as a supermax prison. You’ve heard of Alligator Alcatraz? This will be like that … but with sharks.

And never let it be said that Humboldt County did not contribute to this glorious effort! Today, Attorney General Pam Bondi is on the scene surveying the site, so that she might offer the president her expert opinion on how best to move forward with utmost speed.

What’s that we see, in the clip above? Yep! Bondi is being ferried, on her tour ‘round the Rock, by the Coast Guard Motor Lifeboat Humboldt Bay. That’s one of Sector Humboldt Bay’s motor lifeboats! A Coast Guard spokesperson tells us that it is currently on loan to San Francisco, while one of their motor lifeboats is being repaired.

So, a day to mark on the calendar in red — the day that a piece of Humboldt was there, in spirit, to play its humble role in one of the most amazing deals yet brokered by the president … and certainly one of the closest to home!

Naturally, California Rep. Nancy Pelosi, a former Speaker of the House who has not yet been officially declared an enemy of the state, has called this magnificent effort “the Trump Administration’s stupidest plan yet.”