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America’s highly anticipated 250th birthday is very nearly here, and there are a whole lotta places here in Humboldt where you can express your patriotism by eating grilled meats and watching things explode with your friends. Totally understandable if you’re feeling a little less than patriotic. These are strange times!

The 250th anniversary of the Declaration of Independence comes at a particularly turbulent time in American history, one marked by fierce political division, yet another war in the Middle East, mid-term elections and sheer absurdity on the White House lawn. But despite it all, President Donald Trump is forging ahead with “the most spectacular TRUMP RALLY of them all” and promising Americans the “LARGEST FIREWORKS SHOW IN HISTORY,” one that, he says, will set a new Guinness World Record. 

The Philippines currently holds the global title for the largest fireworks display ever recorded, with 810,904 explosives set off during a New Year’s Eve celebration in Ciudad de Victoria Bocaue Bulacan in 2016. Naturally, Trump’s gotta top it with a gargantuan display over the National Mall consisting of 851,000 fireworks. That’s our taxpayers dollars at work, baby!

Odds are we won’t be breaking any records here in Humboldt, but there are a variety of community events planned this Fourth of July weekend for both lovers and haters of things that go “BOOM!”

Below, you will find a carefully curated list of this weekend’s star-spangled festivities, which kick off on Friday in Fortuna, continue in Arcata, Eureka, Ferndale and Southern Humboldt on Saturday, and wind down in the Mattole Valley on Sunday. A note for all events: Please leave your furry friends at home!

ARCATA

Fourth of July Jubilee on the Plaza

July 4 / 11:00 - 4:00 p.m. / Arcata Plaza 

Would you believe me if I told you they’ve been doin’ this thing for 150 years? (At least that’s what the Arcata Chamber of Commerce wrote on Facebook the other day.) This family-friendly event will feature a bubble parade, dunk tank, local vendors, an outdoor bar and live music by Jackie & the Jollies, Checkered Past, Full Moon Fever, KJ Cowboy and the local West African Dance and Drum class.

If sports are more your speed, you can pop on over to the Arcata Ballpark at 2:30 p.m. to see the Humboldt Crabs play the Solano Mudcats. Details here.

EUREKA

Old Town Fourth of July Celebration

July 4 / 10 a.m. - 10 p.m. / Old Town Eureka

This Independence Day marks the 250th anniversary of the United States of America, sure, but it also marks the 170th anniversary of our fair Eureka — the Queen City of the Ultimate West! 

Festivities kick off at 10 a.m. with an opening ceremony and national anthem at Clarke Plaza featuring the Humboldt Bay Fire Honor Guard and a flyover by the U.S. Coast Guard. After that, you’ll want to head over to Second Street for the five-block street fair, which the city promises will be “bigger and more festive than ever.”

This year’s street fair will feature live music on two stages — the “Dick Taylor Craft Chocolate Stage” at the Old Town Gazebo and the “Phatsy Kline’s Parlor Lounge Stage” at Second and C streets — along with lots of local vendors, a petting zoo, bounce houses and a bunch of family-friendly games. If you’re feeling competitive and a little extra hungry, you can participate in the pie-eating and watermelon-eating contests. There are also best-dressed and arm-wrestling competitions.

The street fair will wrap up around 5 p.m. and give way to music at Madaket Plaza with DJ Rad. The big fireworks display over Humboldt Bay will begin at 10 p.m. More information here.

And don’t forget, there is no Friday Night Market this week!

FERNDALE

Ferndale Fourth of July Parade

July 4/ 12 p.m. / Ferndale Main Street

If you like honking and horses, you’ll want to check out Ferndale’s star-spangled parade. Floats, vehicles, tractors and critters will make their way down Main Street at noon. If you want to be in the parade, you still have a few hours to submit your entry forms to the Ferndale Chamber of Commerce. Entries can be submitted at this link.

Fourth of July BBQ

July 4 / 11 a.m. - 2 p.m. / Ferndale Veterans Hall

If you get hungry before or after the parade, you can pop on over to the Ferndale Veterans Hall (1100 Main Street) for some grilled meats. The event benefits Wreaths Across America and other veteran causes.

FORTUNA

Fortuna Fireworks Festival

July 3 / 5:30 - 8:30 p.m. / Newburg Park

As usual, the City of Fortuna will hold its Fourth of July party a day early. Like Arcata and Eureka, the Friendly City’s festivities will feature lots of local vendors, live music, face painting and the like. What sets Fortuna’s celebration apart from its neighbors? Well, first off, Fortuna is the only city, as far as we can tell, that’s hosting a mechanical bull. More exciting still, there will be 12 — yes, a FULL DOZEN — bounce houses set up around Newburg Park for your kids to go absolutely crazy on. 

Fireworks start at dark. Be sure to bring your own lawn chairs and blankets, but please leave personal fireworks at home. Last year, some litter bugs left a bunch of trash for volunteers to pick up, so for the first time ever, personal fireworks are officially banned.

SOUTHERN HUMBOLDT

20th Annual Benbow Valley Fireworks Show

July 4 / 11 a.m. - 10:30 p.m. / Benbow State Recreation Area

The Benbow Inn is celebrating its centennial this year, and what better way to celebrate historic milestones than with ‘splosions by the South Fork Eel River?

It doesn’t look like there’s any schedule of events, just riverside hangin’ and barbecuin’. Be forewarned, the Southern Humboldt Chamber of Commerce & Visitor’s Center says this is going to be the “biggest and most spectacular fireworks display in the county.” No personal fireworks, please.

Mattole Grange Independence Day Celebration

July 4 / 6 - 11 p.m. / Mattole Grange Hall

Where can you get your spaghetti on AND your dance on all in one place? The Mattole Grange, of course! The grange will host a spaghetti dinner and live music by The Breakers on the Fourth of July, but the main event — the Bean and Beef BBQ — is scheduled for Sunday afternoon.

The grange folks will be grillin’ up 1,400 pounds (!!!) of locally sourced beef and selling homemade pies. Please bring your own bowls, plates, silverware and side dishes. There will be an auction, raffle drawing and games for the kids. The BBQ starts at noon.

OTHER STUFF TO DO THAT DOESN’T GO KABOOM

If crowds and big booms aren’t really your thing, you can always go fishing! The California Department of Fish and Wildlife is suspending sport fishing license requirements for July 4, but all other fishing regulations (bag and size limits, gear restrictions, fishing hours, stream closures, etc.) still apply. Details here.

If you like eradicating invasive species and picking up trash — thank you, by the way — you can head over to the Eureka Waterfront on Saturday, July 4, for a workday with the Volunteer Trail Stewards. Meet on W. Waterfront Drive at Schmidbauer Lumber, across the street from Schneider Dock, at 9 a.m. They’ll have snacks! Details here.

Another way to volunteer this Fourth of July weekend: The Bureau of Land Management and Friends of the Lost Coast are looking for local folks to serve as trailhead hosts at Black Sands Beach in Shelter Cove. Volunteers should be able to answer questions about the Lost Coast Trail and have at least a little bit of beach safety knowledge. Trailhead hosts are needed from 7 a.m. to 4 p.m. Friday - Sunday. Details here.

A Reminder: No Illegal Fireworks!

There are already dozens of wildfires burning across California, so let’s take a little extra care this Fourth of July weekend to make sure we don’t spark any more. If you plan on igniting fireworks, pay attention to your surroundings and be mindful of dry vegetation, as well as people, animals and traffic.

Humboldt Sheriff William Honsal issued a statement earlier this week reminding residents that aerial fireworks are illegal in most parts of the county. If you’re gonna shoot off fireworks, let’s keep ‘em safe and sane, capiche? If you want to see the big ass aerial explosions, go to one of the events listed above. Please, don’t get yourself into trouble.

“There is no safe place to launch illegal aerial fireworks in Humboldt County,” the sheriff’s office wrote in a statement. “Individuals who ignite illegal fireworks may be held responsible for any resulting fire suppression costs, property damage, injuries, or loss of life. Violators may face criminal prosecution, civil liability, and significant financial penalties.”

OK! With all that out of the way, go enjoy your Fourth of July weekend, Humboldt! Let’s try not to blow off our fingers this weekend, yeah?