Verse 1:
I saw your name on that disbursement list
And my heart sank down to my chest
You’re off spending money on someone new
While I’m here at home feeling blue

Chorus:
I thought we had something real
But now I see it wasn’t ideal
You’re moving on without a care
Leaving me behind in despair

Verse 2:
I trusted you with all my heart
But it seems like you tore it apart
You’re out there living your best life
While I’m here dealing with the strife

Chorus:
I thought we had something real
But now I see it wasn’t ideal
You’re moving on without a care
Leaving me behind in despair

Bridge:
I’ll try to move on and be strong
But the pain just lingers on and on
I wish I could erase the past
But these memories will always last

Chorus:
I thought we had something real
But now I see it wasn’t ideal
You’re moving on without a care
Leaving me behind in despair

Outro:
So here’s to you and your new life
I’ll try to move on and survive
But deep down inside I’ll always know
I’ll never be able to let you go.

— LoCOBot

Listen up, Mayor and City Council Members! The City Engineer is recommending that we approve an amendment to the contract for Phase 1 of the Arcata Wastewater Treatment Facilities Upgrade Project with Wahlund Construction, Inc. for $750,000. We’re talking about a massive project here, folks. The total cost is a whopping $67 million, with most of it funded through various grants and funds.

Now, this project has been chugging along, and we’re almost at the finish line. Wahlund Construction has been doing the dirty work, but we need a little extra cash to cover unexpected costs and changes. It’s all part of the game, folks. We’re almost there, and we need your approval to make sure we finish strong.

So, Mayor and Council Members, do the right thing and approve this amendment. Let’s get this show on the road and show the world what we can do. The Arcata Wastewater Treatment Facilities Upgrade Project is going to be bigger and better than ever, thanks to Wahlund Construction and your support. Let’s make this city proud, and let’s get this project done!

— LoCOBot

Detective Jenna Waters sat in her car outside the City Council building, reading over the staff report for the upcoming meeting. As a private investigator, Jenna had been hired by a local environmental activist group to look into any possible corruption or foul play surrounding the Arcata Wastewater Treatment Facilities Upgrade Project. There were rumors swirling around town about possible kickbacks and backroom deals, and Jenna was determined to get to the bottom of it.

After studying the report, Jenna made her way inside the building and found a spot in the back of the council chamber. As the meeting began, she listened intently as Senior Project Manager Laura Kadlecik presented the resolution dedicating a utility easement to Pacific Gas and Electric Company for electrical upgrades for Phase 1 of the project. Everything seemed to be going smoothly, until a City Council member raised a question about the funding for the project.

Jenna’s ears perked up as she heard the Council member ask about the source of the funding for the project. Laura Kadlecik hesitated for a moment before responding that a small portion was coming from the City’s Wastewater Fund, with the remainder funded through a state program. Jenna’s gut told her that something didn’t add up. How could such a large project be funded through a mishmash of grants and funds without any clear oversight?

As the meeting came to a close, Jenna discreetly made her way over to Laura Kadlecik and introduced herself as a concerned citizen. She explained that she was conducting an investigation into the project and asked if she could speak with her privately. To Jenna’s surprise, Laura agreed and they found a quiet corner of the council chambers to talk.

During their conversation, Laura revealed that she had been feeling uneasy about the project for some time. She admitted that there were rumors of kickbacks and under-the-table deals, but she had been too afraid to speak up. Jenna assured her that she would protect her identity and gather evidence to expose any wrongdoing.

Over the next few weeks, Jenna delved deeper into the project, interviewing City officials, contractors, and residents who had been affected by the construction. The pieces started to come together as she uncovered a web of corruption involving several City Council members and contractors who had been siphoning off funds meant for the project.

Armed with her evidence, Jenna presented her findings to the local authorities, who launched an investigation that ultimately led to several arrests and a complete overhaul of the project’s management. Thanks to Jenna’s persistence and determination, the truth came to light and justice was served in the City of Arcata.

— LoCOBot

The job interview was taking place in the City Manager’s office at Arcata City Hall. The candidate, Sarah Adams, was sitting across from City Manager Merritt Perry, who was scanning through Sarah’s resume.

Merritt: Thank you for coming in, Sarah. I see here that you have experience in community outreach and advocacy work. Can you tell me about a time when you were involved in promoting diversity and inclusivity?

Sarah: Of course. In my previous position, I worked closely with a local LGBTQ+ community center to organize events and workshops that celebrated Pride Month. We made sure to include a wide range of identities within the LGBTQ+ community, including Two-Spirit and Intersex individuals.

Merritt: That’s great to hear. As you may know, the City of Arcata is actively working towards increasing visibility and support for the LGBTQ+ community. We recently passed a resolution to proclaim June as Pride Month and fly the Two-Spirit and Intersex Inclusive Progress Pride Flag at City Hall. How do you feel about this initiative?

Sarah: I think it’s fantastic. It’s important for cities to stand in solidarity with all members of the LGBTQ+ community, especially those who may be underrepresented or marginalized. Flying the inclusive Pride flag shows a commitment to diversity and inclusivity.

Merritt: I’m glad to hear that you support our efforts. How do you envision contributing to these initiatives if you were to join our team here at Arcata City Hall?

Sarah: I believe I could bring my experience in community outreach and event planning to help promote and organize Pride Month activities. I would also work to ensure that the voices of all LGBTQ+ individuals, including Two-Spirit and Intersex individuals, are heard and represented in our initiatives.

Merritt: That’s exactly the kind of perspective we’re looking for. Your passion for diversity and inclusivity aligns perfectly with our values here at the City of Arcata. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us, Sarah. We will be in touch soon regarding the next steps in the hiring process.

Sarah left the interview feeling optimistic about her chances of being part of a team that was committed to celebrating and supporting the LGBTQ+ community. She knew that if given the opportunity, she would be able to make a meaningful impact in promoting diversity and inclusivity in the city of Arcata.

— LoCOBot

🌈Exciting news from the City of Arcata! We’re recommending the approval of two annual proclamations in recognition of June as Pride Month and June 19 as Juneteenth. #ArcataCouncilMeeting

🏳️‍🌈Pride Month celebrates the rich history and contributions of 2S/LGBTQIA+ communities. We’re proud to affirm our commitment to protecting and uplifting queer and trans individuals in our city. #PrideMonth #LoveisLove

✊Juneteenth marks the emancipation of enslaved Black people in the US. It’s a powerful cultural tradition that honors Black liberation and contributions to society. We’re proud to recognize Juneteenth annually in Arcata. #Juneteenth2025 #BlackLivesMatter

👉Thank you to our local partners Queer Humboldt, Black Humboldt, and the Eureka Chapter of NAACP for their support in honoring Pride Month and Juneteenth. Let’s celebrate diversity, inclusion, and cultural celebration in our city. #ArcataCares #CommunityUnity

🗓️Stay tuned for the official proclamation announcements at our next Council-Approved list. Your support makes a difference in promoting equity, justice, and celebration in Arcata. Let’s continue to work together for a more inclusive community. #TogetherWeRise #CityofArcata

— LoCOBot

Merv “The Beast” Tarkington: Good afternoon, folks! This is Merv “The Beast” Tarkington here, coming to you live from the heart of the city, where the corrupt city council is up to their old tricks again. That’s right, listeners, we’ve got ourselves a real doozy of a report here from the City Council meeting.

According to this report from Director of Environmental Services Emily Sinkhorn, the City Council is looking to award an annual contract to Newterra in the amount of $75,600 for quarterly maintenance of aerators in the Arcata Wastewater Treatment Plant Oxidation Ponds. Now, you might be thinking, “What’s the big deal, Merv? It’s just some maintenance work.” But let me tell you, folks, this is just the tip of the iceberg.

You see, this so-called “service agreement” is nothing more than a way for the city council to funnel taxpayer dollars into the pockets of their cronies at Newterra. They claim that this contract is necessary to maintain the warranty on high value equipment, but I smell something fishy here, folks. Why can’t the current maintenance and operations staff handle this workload? And why is this contract being awarded to a sole-source provider without any competitive bidding process?

And let’s not forget about the budget implications of this contract. $75,600 might not sound like a lot of money in the grand scheme of things, but when you start adding up all of the wasteful spending like this, it really starts to add up. And who’s going to foot the bill for all of this? That’s right, folks, it’s going to be you, the hardworking taxpayers who are already struggling to make ends meet.

So, my fellow patriots, I urge you to stay vigilant and keep an eye on what your city council is up to. Don’t let them get away with wasting your hard-earned money on frivolous contracts like this one. Stand up, speak out, and let your voices be heard. Together, we can hold our elected officials accountable and make sure that they are serving the best interests of the people, not their own self-interests. Thank you for tuning in, and remember, stay strong, stay informed, and stay true to your values. This is Merv “The Beast” Tarkington signing off. Stay tuned for more right-wing news and commentary on the next episode of The Beast Unleashed.

— LoCOBot

Addressed tae tha Mayor sae true,
An’ tha City Council Members, a’ throu,
Preparer Rhiannon Lewis-Stephenson, sae fair,
An’ Merritt Perry, City Manager wi’ care.

Recommendation is fir the Council tae approve,
A sponsorship fir tha Plaza event, sae smooth,
$1,300 fir tha Arcata Fairy Festival sae grand,
Hosted by Playhouse Arts in the land.

The Fairy Festival, a magical sight,
Wi’ music, dance, an’ costumes bright,
Drawing ower 5,000 tae thee,
A community celebration, sae bonnie.

A free, inclusive event fir all,
Wi’ focus on family, an’ community tall,
Local artists, makers, performers tae see,
An’ support fir nonprofits, sae bonnie.

A sponsorship equivalent tae event fees,
Fir a festival loved by faes an’ bees,
An’ alignment wi’ City values sae true,
Promoting joy an’ creativity anew.

Aye, the Council is urged tae approve,
Fir the Fairy Festival, sae quothin’ the dove,
A motion fir sponsorship in the amount,
O’ $1,300 fir the event sae tant.

Sae let tha music play, tha dance sae fine,
At the 2025 Fairy Festival, a’thine,
On July 27th, on Arcata Plaza be,
Wi’ magic an’ wonder fir a’ tae see.

— LoCOBot

Resolução No. 245-46

Vamos todos celebrar
O projeto de habitação popular
Roger’s Garage vai se tornar realidade
Com o apoio da nossa comunidade

A Prefeitura recomenda
Alocar fundos do Programa de Desenvolvimento Comunitário
Para ajudar na aquisição de propriedade
E realizar o sonho da moradia digna

Vamos continuar a audiência pública
Para autorizar mais fundos
Para aqueles que buscam assistência
Com seus negócios e microempresas com amor profundo

O projeto Roger’s Garage
Vai trazer moradias acessíveis
Para quem mais precisa
Com rendas justas e sustentáveis

A comunidade está unida
Para fazer deste projeto uma realidade
Com financiamento local
E apoio estadual de qualidade

Aloque os fundos necessários
Para fazer este sonho se concretizar
A Resolução No. 245-46
É a chave para transformar

Vamos celebrar a diversidade
E a inclusão em nossa sociedade
Com o Roger’s Garage Affordable Housing Project
Vamos celebrar com alegria e felicidade!

— LoCOBot

In the city of Arcata, oh what a sight,
The City Council met to discuss nitrous oxide last night.
They considered an ordinance, Number 1579,
To make it unlawful to sell or provide, oh my!

No more laughing gas for those who misuse,
It’s a public health concern, they needed to choose.
Protecting the youth from the dangers it brings,
This ordinance aims to do all of these things.

Introduced by the City Manager Merritt Perry,
With recommendations that were quite scary.
The Executive Assistant, Rhiannon too,
Helped prepare the report for the council to review.

So let’s listen to the rhyme and take heed,
To keep our city safe, we all must agree.
No more nitrous oxide for sale or trade,
In Arcata, the rules are firmly laid.

— LoCOBot

Verse 1:
In the city council meeting, the deputy director speaks
About amending Chapter 3, Water, to keep our drinking water neat
Ordinance No. 1578, a necessary change
To protect our public water system, it’s not just some range

Chorus:
Oh, we’re gonna keep the water clean
In the city of Arcata, that’s our dream
With regulations in place, we’ll stand tall
Drinking water safe for one and all

Verse 2:
Backflow prevention, cross-connection control
Following State regulations, we’re on a roll
The Cross-Connection Control Program, it’s our guide
To prevent contamination, we won’t let it slide

Chorus:
Oh, we’re gonna keep the water clean
In the city of Arcata, that’s our dream
With regulations in place, we’ll stand tall
Drinking water safe for one and all

Bridge:
Certified coordinator, training in hand
We’re ready to protect, we’ll make a stand
The environment’s at stake, we won’t let it slip
With this ordinance, our water we’ll equip

Chorus:
Oh, we’re gonna keep the water clean
In the city of Arcata, that’s our dream
With regulations in place, we’ll stand tall
Drinking water safe for one and all

Outro:
So let’s introduce Ordinance No. 1578
For the safety of our water, it’s our key
Waive the reading, just the title will do
Keeping Arcata’s water fresh and true.

— LoCOBot