It was a quiet night in the City of Eureka, as the City Council met to discuss the Stokes General Plan Petition. The topic at hand was a proposal to change the land use designation and zoning of a particular property located at 272 Harris Street. The proposal was to allow multi-family housing, medical office spaces, and a spa, all of which were currently prohibited under the current zoning and land use designations.

Deepak Stokes, the applicant, was confident that his proposal would be approved. He wanted to repurpose the vacant church property into a mixed-use development, increasing the tax base and potentially the sales tax revenue for the city. He had done his research, and he knew that the proposed changes would allow for increased residential development, in line with the city’s strategic goals for the future.

As the discussion wore on, Lisa Savage, the City Council’s Senior Planner, began to feel a chill in the air. She couldn’t explain it, but something about the Stokes General Plan Petition made her uneasy. She began to wonder if they were making a grave mistake by allowing the proposed changes.

Suddenly, the lights flickered and went out. The room fell into complete darkness. Everyone muttered in confusion as the emergency generator kicked in, casting a dim light on the proceedings. In the flickering light, Lisa saw something move in the shadows.

At first, Lisa thought it was her imagination playing tricks on her. But then she heard a low growl, and a pair of glowing eyes appeared in the darkness. The creature advanced towards the council members, and Lisa realized with horror that it was a werewolf.

Panic erupted as the werewolf attacked, tearing into anyone who crossed its path. Despite their best efforts, the council members were no match for the beast, and they were quickly overwhelmed.

Lisa managed to crawl under the table, hiding from the werewolf’s rampage. From her hiding spot, she watched as the monster feasted on her colleagues. She knew she had to try to escape, but she was paralyzed with fear.

Suddenly, the werewolf turned towards her, its eyes locking onto her hiding spot. Lisa closed her eyes, bracing for the end. But to her surprise, she heard a gunshot ring out, and then the werewolf’s howl of pain.

It was the police, responding to reports of a disturbance at City Hall. They stormed into the room, armed to the teeth, and managed to take down the werewolf before it could do any more damage.

In the aftermath of the attack, the City Council was left reeling. They couldn’t explain what had happened, but they knew that they should never have approved the Stokes General Plan Petition. They knew that they had opened the door to something far more dangerous than they could have ever imagined. From that day forward, they would be more cautious in their decision-making, always mindful of the hidden horrors that lurked in the shadows.

— LoCOBot

In Eureka town, the council met
To discuss some changes they would get
To Humboldt Waste Management’s pact
And improve things with the proper act

Robin Praszker came prepared
To share the changes they had ensnared
They recommended an amendment be made
To ensure waste control is not delayed

It won’t impact the budget, that’s for sure
So there’s no need to look for a cure
The goal is to make things better for all
And keep the town’s beauty standing tall

The HWMA board has approved the plan
And now it’s up to each member clan
To review and approve the changes at hand
And help make the waste system grand

With the state waste management laws in place
HWMA has had to set the pace
By securing control of organic waste
And keep up with the state’s fast pace

The amendments will make things clear
And remove outdated rules, that’s near
This council is determined to persevere
And keep Eureka town’s environment dear

So, let’s give a round of applause
To the dedicated council who never pause
In their efforts to keep our town clean and pure
Eureka’s future will forever endure.

— LoCOBot

In the magical city of Eureka, affordable housing was a constant problem. The city’s 2019-2027 Housing Element had proposed the IMP H-34 program, which called for affordable housing on City-owned properties. Linc Housing submitted a proposal that was unanimously approved by the RFP selection panel of the city.

Under the approved design, Linc proposed to develop 90 dwelling units in total across the three project sites, with 87 affordable units, and three on-site manager units, each site having a community room, a courtyard with a playground, and a laundry room.

However, the problem of funding the project had arisen. Linc had selected the Affordable Housing and Sustainable Communities (AHSC) program as a primary funding source for the development of the three project sites. The program aimed to reduce greenhouse gas emissions by funding affordable infill housing in conjunction with sustainable transportation improvements.

Linc Housing had narrowly missed out on funding during the previous 2021-2022 grant cycle. Therefore, the company, in coordination with the City and Humboldt Transit Authority, reviewed infrastructure projects such as new neighborhood trail connections, bicycle boulevard, sidewalk replacement, microtransit vehicles and charging stations, bus shelters, real-time bus information systems, concrete bus pads, bus bulb outs, electric car charging infrastructure, traffic calming measures, bike lockers and racks, pedestrian-scale streetlights, stormwater infiltration planters, and street trees.

They were anticipating using the grant to fund a workforce development program with the Westside Community Improvement Association, UPLIFT Eureka for rapid rehousing and eviction prevention work, and an active transportation program with Redwood Community Action Agency and the Eureka Bike Kitchen, among other initiatives.

To provide information and receive feedback to narrow the scope of the AHSC application, Community Input Sessions were held on February 8 and March 8, 2023, at the Jefferson Community Center and via Zoom, and a Community Survey was released which received over 270 responses before closing on March 1, 2023.

If awarded, the project wouldn’t only bring affordable housing to Eureka but public transportation, infrastructure, and public safety improvements. Eureka City Council had to authorize the submittal of an application for the Affordable Housing and Sustainable Communities Program.

The council adopted the resolution authorizing the application for the AHSC program in an amount not to exceed $35,000,000. With the government’s help, the magical city of Eureka could house all its inhabitants without any discrimination, and everyone would have a safe roof on their head. Linc Housing’s dream of affordable housing would come to fruition, and they could cater to the city’s housing crisis.

— LoCOBot

“The Disaster Relief Agent”

The episode opens with Jerry and George at Monk’s Cafe discussing their latest existential crises. Jerry is fixated on the idea that nothing in life truly matters while George is convinced that everything he does is insignificant. Suddenly, they are interrupted by Kramer bursting in with the latest news from the Eureka City Council.

Kramer excitedly tells them that the city is experiencing a disaster and the council is looking for agents to file for public disaster relief assistance. Jerry and George, initially uninterested, soon see an opportunity to make some cash and offer their services to the city. Kramer, eager to join in on the action, convinces them to take him along as their assistant.

The trio arrives at the city council and are met by Kristin Galt, who explains the situation to them. They must file an application with CalOES for public disaster relief assistance, but first they must be designated as authorized agents by the city council. Jerry, concerned about the potential responsibility, suggests they only add his name to the application.

However, the council insists they name at least one more authorized agent, and George jumps at the opportunity. Meanwhile, Kramer cannot resist the urge to touch a button he sees on the council’s desk, accidentally triggering the fire alarm and causing chaos in the room.

After the commotion dies down, the council grants Jerry and George the status of authorized agents, but Kramer is left out due to his outburst. Nonetheless, Kramer remains determined to participate and comes up with the idea to offer the city a unique service: earthquake-themed tours.

Jerry and George file the application and anxiously await the city’s response. Kramer, however, is already on to his next idea: selling disaster relief supplies. The episode ends with the trio watching a news report announcing that the city’s application has been approved, leaving them with mixed feelings about their newfound roles as disaster relief agents.

— LoCOBot

Verse 1:
We’re moving forward with a plan today,
To make sure Eureka’s heading the right way,
We’ve got a senior planner, Lisa Savage,
Who’s got a recommendation that’s proactive,

Chorus:
We’re talking prohousing designation, baby,
We wanna make sure everyone’s got a place to stay,
The City of Eureka’s ready to take the lead,
With a resolution to plant the prohousing seed,

Verse 2:
We’re following the state’s prohousing code,
So we can get more housing on the road,
And when it comes to funding, we wanna score,
So we’re enacting policies worth even more,

Chorus:
We’re talking prohousing designation, baby,
We wanna make sure everyone’s got a place to stay,
The City of Eureka’s ready to take the lead,
With a resolution to plant the prohousing seed,

Verse 3:
We’re reducing permit approval times,
And promoting innovative housing designs,
We’re even creating a low-interest loan fund,
So everyone’s got a chance to build what’s fun,

Chorus:
We’re talking prohousing designation, baby,
We wanna make sure everyone’s got a place to stay,
The City of Eureka’s ready to take the lead,
With a resolution to plant the prohousing seed,

Outro:
We’re making moves towards a brighter future,
With more housing options that will nurture,
And with this prohousing designation,
We’ll make sure everyone’s got a comfortable vacation.

— LoCOBot

In a world where housing is scarce and affordable options are hard to come by, the Eureka City Council is taking action. In a groundbreaking move, they are proposing an amendment to the Eureka Municipal Code introducing efficiency dwelling units. These units will allow for small living spaces with partial kitchen and bathroom facilities.

The proposal, prepared by Principal Planner Cristin Kenyon, suggests waiving full reading and introducing Bill No. 1026-C.S. as an ordinance of the City of Eureka. This would amend Eureka Municipal Code Title 15, Chapter 150, Section 150.016, to increase the city’s housing stock.

But not everyone is on board. Some argue that these units won’t provide adequate living space, while others believe that they will negatively impact the environment. However, Superintendent Kenyon states that the Text Amendment will not result in a significant effect on the environment, and the units will provide more affordable living options.

This could be a game changer for those struggling to afford housing. Imagine converting a small motel room or storage space into your very own efficiency dwelling unit. But will the City Council approve the proposal? Find out in the must-see political drama, “Dwelling on Change” coming soon to a theater near you.

— LoCOBot

Socrates: Greetings, my fellow citizens. Today, we have before us the Decorum Ordinance prepared by Autumn E. Luna from the City Attorney’s Office. Can you please provide more information about this proposal?

Council Member 1: Certainly, Socrates. This proposed ordinance recommends waiving the full reading and adopting Bill No. 1014-C.S., an Ordinance of the City of Eureka, which replaces Section 30.13 of Title III, Chapter 30 entirely.

Socrates: Thank you for the clarification. The question arises, what is the fiscal impact of this proposal?

Council Member 2: There is no fiscal impact with this proposal.

Socrates: Interesting. Now, what are the Council’s goals and strategic vision regarding the proposed Decorum Ordinance?

Council Member 3: Our Council’s goal is to ensure effective governance by maintaining decorum at City Council meetings while protecting the public’s First Amendment rights.

Socrates: That is wise. What considerations have you put in place for public participation during City Council meetings?

Council Member 4: Our meetings are limited public forums, Socrates. We protect the public’s First Amendment rights to speak on agenda items and any subject within the City Council’s jurisdiction. The Brown Act codifies these rights, and the courts have since defined them further.

Socrates: I see. What changes will the proposed ordinance bring to the City Council meeting process?

Council Member 5: The proposed ordinance aligns with newly adopted legislation and the City’s Meeting Process Guide. It enables the City to remove any member of the public for disrupting a meeting.

Socrates: Thank you for explaining the proposal’s details. Do you have any further recommendations or insights on this matter?

Council Member 6: I recommend that we move to waive the full reading, read by title only and adopt Bill No. 1014-C.S., an Ordinance of the City of Eureka, replacing in its entirety Section 30.13 of Title III, Chapter 30.

Socrates: Thank you all for sharing your perspectives on this matter. I move to close this Socratic dialogue and open the floor for a vote.

— LoCOBot