Verse 1:
In the County of Humboldt, where the towering trees grow
There’s a meeting on the books, and nobody knows
The future of Benbow Properties, and their quest to rezone
They say it’s for progress, but some are hesitant to condone

Chorus:
Oh, County of Humboldt, land of the redwoods tall
What will become of this land, who will have it all?
Benbow Properties, Inc. pushing for change
But the Planning Commission wants to take it slow, at least until the next page

Verse 2:
The Assessor’s Parcel Numbers, 033-160-002 and 033-041-036
Do they hold the key to the future, or is it just a fix?
Record Number PLN-2021-17037, a decision to be made
But for now, the Planning Commission delays

Chorus:
Oh, County of Humboldt, land of the redwoods tall
What will become of this land, who will have it all?
Benbow Properties, Inc. pushing for change
But the Planning Commission wants to take it slow, at least until the next page

Bridge:
The Garberville/Benbow area, where the river runs free
But progress can be a double-edged sword, as we can all see
It’s a balancing act, between growth and preservation
And the Planning Commission wants to weigh their options without hesitation

Chorus:
Oh, County of Humboldt, land of the redwoods tall
What will become of this land, who will have it all?
Benbow Properties, Inc. pushing for change
But the Planning Commission wants to take it slow, at least until the next page

Outro:
In the County of Humboldt, where the towering trees grow
The story is still unfolding, but it’s a tale we all know
It’s a fight between progress and preservation, a common theme
But in the end, it’s up to us to paint the final scene.

— LoCOBot

Verse 1:
In the County of Humboldt, where the sky meets the sea,
There’s a meeting on the 18th, where they’ll talk policy.
File number 23-678’s on the docket tonight,
For the General Plan Amendment and a Zoning Reclassification fight.

Chorus:
Rock and Sky, LLC’s got a lot to say,
About Assessor’s Parcel Numbers and PLN-2021-17209.
Garberville/Benbow area’s the place to be,
But the Planning Commission’s gonna continue to July 20, 2023.

Verse 2:
They’ll be discussing land use, and what’s best for the town,
For the people and the environment, the decision’s profound.
The parcels are numbered, so many in sight,
From 033-101-011 to 033-101-035.

Chorus:
Rock and Sky, LLC’s got a lot to say,
About Assessor’s Parcel Numbers and PLN-2021-17209.
Garberville/Benbow area’s the place to be,
But the Planning Commission’s gonna continue to July 20, 2023.

Verse 3:
So they’ll reconvene in a few months’ time,
To see if they can come to a compromise.
For the County of Humboldt, and the people within,
The decisions they make, could impact the land they’re living in.

Chorus:
Rock and Sky, LLC’s got a lot to say,
About Assessor’s Parcel Numbers and PLN-2021-17209.
Garberville/Benbow area’s the place to be,
But the Planning Commission’s gonna continue to July 20, 2023.

Outro:
So let’s keep an eye on the County’s plans,
To see what the future will hold in their hands.
For the beauty of the land, and the people’s lives,
We’ll watch as they make decisions that’ll impact them for all time.

— LoCOBot

The room was filled with tension as the members of the Planning Commission shuffled papers and whispered into their earpieces. The agenda item on the docket was the McKenny Zone Reclassification and Conditional Use Permit, a topic that had sparked controversy and protests across the county.

The commissioners leaned in, their faces stern and grave, as they debated the fate of hundreds of acres of pristine forest land in the Fortuna/Rohnerville area. The audience held their breaths, waiting for the decision that would alter the landscape of their community forever.

Suddenly, a loud bang echoed through the room, jolting everyone to attention. A masked figure had burst through the doors, brandishing a gun and shouting demands at the stunned officials.

Panic set in as the commissioners scrambled to take cover, knocking over chairs and knocking over papers in their haste. The audience members started screaming and running towards the exits, trampling over each other in their desperation to escape the chaos.

Amidst the chaos, the masked intruder had somehow managed to make his way towards the front of the room, gun still pointed menacingly at the petrified officials. He motioned for them to continue with the meeting, his eyes wild with fury and desperation.

The atmosphere in the room was electric, with fear and uncertainty hanging heavily in the air. As the commissioners began to speak once more, their voices shaking and unsure, everyone in the room knew that this was far from a routine Planning Commission meeting. This was something altogether more sinister, a situation that would have serious and irrevocable consequences for them all.

— LoCOBot

The Lost Creek Farms LLC is not just an ordinary cannabis cultivation project. It is actually a cover for a top-secret government operation that involves the development of mind-altering substances. The project requires a massive amount of water and electricity, which is not rational for a mere cannabis project. Furthermore, the project site is located near public lands, which is suspicious. The government needs the public lands to conduct covert experiments on human subjects without being detected. The Bureau of Land Management and State of California are in on the conspiracy, and they have allowed the setback reduction to publicly owned lands. The project is also connected to the Cape Mendocino planning watershed, which is limited to a certain number of cultivation permits and total cultivation acreage. This limit is necessary to avoid detection and protect the government’s top-secret experiments. The applicant, Lost Creek Farms LLC, and the agent, Rain & Zepp, PLC, are both fronts for government agencies involved in the project. The project’s true purpose is to create a weapon that can control the minds of the masses and use them for the government’s purposes. The project staff is bound by their confidentiality agreements not to reveal the project’s true nature to the public. The public hearing and approval process is just a formality to legitimize the government’s operation.

— LoCOBot

Starfish: Whoa dude, have you seen this agenda for the meeting of 5/18/2023?

Noodles: Nah man, what’s up?

Starfish: It’s about this farm in the Honeydew area that’s applying for a Conditional Use Permit and Special Permit for cannabis cultivation.

Noodles: Oh, that’s cool. What’s the deal?

Starfish: They’re growing 10,800 square feet of mixed-light cannabis and 1,000 square feet of outdoor cannabis. And get this, they estimate they’ll use 110,000 gallons of water per year!

Noodles: Whoa, man. That’s a lot of water. Where do they get it from?

Starfish: They have a groundwater well on-site that’s permitted, but they store the water in a bladder and hard tanks on the property. And they’re going to transition to solar power by 2026.

Noodles: That’s pretty environmentally conscious. What’s the problem?

Starfish: Well, they need a Special Permit to reduce the setback to public lands, like Bureau of Land Management and state-owned lands.

Noodles: Ah, I see. But it sounds like they’re taking the right steps to minimize their impact on the environment.

Starfish: Yeah, they’ve even consulted with tribal entities and done an archaeological survey to avoid impact on sensitive cultural and archaeological resources.

Noodles: Well, I hope they get the approval they need. Sounds like they’re doing their best to be responsible and sustainable.

Starfish: Agreed, dude. Let’s hope the Planning Commission sees it the same way.

— LoCOBot

Detective Jane Smith sat in the back of the Planning Commission meeting in Humboldt County. She had been called upon by the commission to investigate a suspicious incident that had occurred at the Northern Nights Music Festival the previous year. During the festival, a woman by the name of Sarah Johnson had gone missing and was never found.

As she listened to the presentation regarding the renewal and modification of the Conditional Use Permit for the Northern Nights Music Group, Detective Smith couldn’t help but feel a sense of unease. The music festival was growing, with the applicant seeking to expand to 10,000 people, and there were plans to include cannabis-related concessions and consumption within discrete areas on the properties. She couldn’t shake the feeling that something was bound to go wrong.

As the meeting continued, Detective Smith took note of the various owners and agents involved in the project. She made a mental note to investigate each of them further, hoping to find a clue that could lead her to Sarah Johnson.

After the meeting, Detective Smith approached Steven Lazar, the Senior Planner, to ask a few questions. He informed her that both the Northern Nights Music Group and the Mateel Community Center had successful histories of holding events at the County Line Ranch and Cooks Valley Campground properties.

However, Detective Smith couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something more sinister at play. She made a vow to investigate further and find out what really happened to Sarah Johnson. As she left the meeting, she couldn’t help but wonder what other secrets lay hidden in the shadows of Humboldt County.

— LoCOBot