In Humboldt’s county fair and green,
On 7/20/2023, a gathering keen.
A tale of Carlotta Gardens we will tell,
In Scottish verse, our words shall swell.

File #23-1034, we bring to light,
A tale of modification shining bright.
PLN-2022-17611-MOD01, a record strong,
Filed on 05/03/2023, it throngs.

Assessor’s Parcel Number 206-331-028-000,
A land of verdant beauty, full and proud.
6287 State Highway 36, Carlotta’s claim,
A place where dreams of greenery aim.

Conditional Use Permit, a fertile plan,
Approved project PLN-2022-17611,
But modification is now sought,
To add a farm stand, cannabis brought.

A 200 SF portable stall, a sight to see,
Where Farm Based Retail finds its glee.
Cannabis grown on site, a crop of worth,
To entice buyers from south to north.

Let this tale of Carlotta’s endeavor,
Be continued to the August 3, 2023 meeting,
Where decisions shall be made, hands steady,
In County of Humboldt, where visions are ready.

Page 1 of 1, this tale we’ve woven,
Printed on 7/12/2023, our words unbroken.
Powered by Legistar, our voices rise,
In Scottish poetic beauty, we harmonize.

— LoCOBot

Title: “The Spirit of Humboldt”

Captain Jean-Luc Picard sat at his desk on the USS Enterprise, going through the daily reports from across the galaxy. As the leader of Starfleet’s flagship, he was responsible for ensuring peace and order in the vast reaches of space. However, there were times when he longed for a different kind of adventure, one that took him back to his roots on Earth.

Picard was particularly intrigued by a report from the County of Humboldt on July 20, 2023. It detailed a conditional use permit for an outdoor cannabis cultivation operation. The project aimed to relocate existing cultivation areas into three larger areas, while also restoring the Streamside Management Area (SMA) affected by the previous cultivation.

Intrigued by the unique blend of environmental restoration and agriculture, Picard decided to take a small away team to investigate. He selected Commander Data, Dr. Beverly Crusher, and Lieutenant Worf to accompany him on this mission. They beamed down near the Garberville area, close to Oak Rock Road.

As they ventured through the lush landscape, they marveled at the natural beauty of Humboldt County. The scent of cannabis filled the air, mixed with the freshness of the surrounding forest. They soon reached the proposed cultivation site, where they found members of the Humboldt Spirit, Inc. working diligently.

Picard introduced himself and his team, explaining their interest in the project and its potential benefit to the ecosystem. The members of Humboldt Spirit were initially wary, but after realizing the Enterprise crew’s intentions were honorable, they welcomed their assistance.

Commander Data analyzed the existing cultivation areas and proposed relocations, providing valuable insight into optimizing the cultivation process. Dr. Crusher examined the ecological impact and suggested ways to further enhance the restoration efforts within the Streamside Management Area.

Lieutenant Worf, the Enterprise’s resident expert in security and defense, worked with the Humboldt Spirit team to bolster the security measures on the site. They devised a system incorporating Starfleet technology, such as force fields and advanced surveillance, to protect the precious crop.

Over the following days, Picard and his team collaborated with the Humboldt Spirit members to refine their operations, ensuring maximum efficiency and minimal ecological disruption. They also educated the team on sustainable practices, sharing knowledge from across the galaxy.

As the project neared completion, Picard witnessed the transformation of the cultivation site. The once dilapidated and fragmented areas now merged seamlessly into three thriving cultivation zones. The Streamside Management Area flourished, with native channels realigned and restored to their former glory.

Satisfied with their contribution, Picard bid farewell to the Humboldt Spirit team, thanking them for their dedication to both cannabis cultivation and ecological restoration. He promised to relay their inspiring story to Starfleet Command, hoping that more projects like this could be implemented throughout the Federation.

Back on the Enterprise, Picard addressed his crew, sharing the lessons learned and the positive impact their small team had on the planet. He emphasized the importance of caring for our surroundings and using technology responsibly, ensuring a harmonious existence between humans and nature.

Inspired by his experience in Humboldt County, Picard pledged to continue seeking opportunities for his crew to partake in similar endeavors, allowing them to connect with the natural world and learn from its wisdom. The spirit of Humboldt would forever remain in their hearts as they ventured into the unknown depths of the galaxy, seeking new ways to protect and preserve the wonders of the universe.

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
In the County of Humboldt, on a summer’s day,
There’s a meeting taking place, it’s time to have our say.
The Planning Commission’s gathered here, on 7/20/2023,
To discuss a reclassification that’s causing quite the spree.

(Chorus)
Benbow Properties, Inc., they want a zone reclass,
From Neighborhood Commercial to Community Commercial, it’s a blast.
With Assessor Parcel Numbers, they’re making their case,
To change the zoning designation for a new business space.

(Verse 2)
The applicant’s desire is to establish a dispensary,
They believe it’ll thrive in this location that’s quite airy.
The properties are on Benbow Drive, near Highway 101,
And with a zoning change, a commercial cannabis center could be done.

(Chorus)
Benbow Properties, Inc., they want a zone reclass,
From Neighborhood Commercial to Community Commercial, it’s a blast.
With Assessor Parcel Numbers, they’re making their case,
To change the zoning designation for a new business space.

(Verse 3)
The zoning change would allow for more development potential,
While keeping the Design Control combining designation essential.
Referral agencies have weighed in, with approval or no comment,
And the planning staff believes the required findings for approval are potent.

(Chorus)
Benbow Properties, Inc., they want a zone reclass,
From Neighborhood Commercial to Community Commercial, it’s a blast.
With Assessor Parcel Numbers, they’re making their case,
To change the zoning designation for a new business space.

(Outro)
So now it’s up to the Planning Commission to decide,
If this zone reclassification will be a source of pride.
For Benbow Properties, Inc., it’s a chance to grow,
And for the County of Humboldt, it’s a step towards a new tomorrow.

— LoCOBot

Once upon a time, in the County of Humboldt, there was a small community known as Garberville/Benbow. Nestled in the heart of this community were 25 parcels of land, totaling 33.46 acres. These parcels were divided into different zones, including Residential Low Density (RL), Residential Estates (RE), Residential Single Family (R-1), Residential Multi-Family (R-3), and Residential Suburban (RS). But one day, the owner of these parcels, a company called Rock and Sky, LLC, decided that it was time for a change.

Rock and Sky, LLC applied for a General Plan Amendment (GPA) and Zoning Reclassification (ZR) for their parcels. They wanted to transform the land from its current residential use to Residential Agriculture (RA). They also sought to reclassify the zoning from residential to Agriculture General (AG).

The owner had a vision for the land - to merge the 25 parcels into 11 and create a better integration between the current land use and the physical characteristics of the properties. The owner believed that these changes would eliminate multiple zoning within a parcel, allow historical use, eliminate unbuildable parcels, reduce water use, traffic, and erosion.

To achieve their vision, Rock and Sky, LLC submitted a petition to the Board of Supervisors, who accepted their application and authorized its submittal. The Planning and Building Department prepared a report for the Planning Commission meeting on July 20, 2023, recommending the approval of the General Plan Amendment and Zone Reclassification.

The report highlighted the public interest in the proposed changes. Most of the parcels were deemed unbuildable due to constraints such as topography, septic system limitations, and limited access. The lands were historically used for cannabis grows until a 2018 County abatement action. The owner believed that allowing agricultural operations on the land would be in the public interest and would support the nearby cannabis dispensary.

Additionally, the report emphasized the consistency of the proposed changes with the General Plan. The Residential Agriculture designation was considered compatible with the proposed Agriculture General zone. The lands to the south of the subject properties were also designated Residential Agriculture, further supporting the compatibility.

The Planning and Building Department believed that the project would not cause any significant impacts on the environment, and it was exempt from CEQA. Responsible agencies and local tribes were consulted, and most of them recommended approval or provided no comment.

As the Planning Commission meeting approached, the community became intrigued by the proposed changes. Some residents were excited about the potential for agricultural operations, seeing it as an opportunity for economic growth and job creation. Others were skeptical, concerned about the potential increase in traffic and the impact on the natural environment.

On the day of the meeting, the Planning Commission gathered. Representatives from Rock and Sky, LLC and concerned residents filled the room. The Commission carefully reviewed the report and listened to public testimony. After much discussion, the Commission adopted the resolution recommending the General Plan Amendment and Zone Reclassification.

The Board of Supervisors ultimately reviewed and approved the changes, subject to the recommended conditions of approval. The parcels were transformed into Residential Agriculture, allowing for agricultural uses that were previously prohibited. The community eagerly awaited the next chapter in the story of the Garberville/Benbow area, where Rock and Sky, LLC would bring their vision to life and help shape the future of the land. And so, a new era began, where the rock and sky met the dreams and aspirations of the people of Humboldt County.

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
In the county of Humboldt, where the redwoods grow tall
There’s a lot line adjustment, they’re making the call
Chuck Wright, he’s the man, with a plan in his hand
To divide up his land, in the Korbel area

(Chorus)
Lot Line Adjustment, Zone Boundary too
Chuck’s got a vision, for what he wants to do
A joint timber management plan, to make it all right
Preserving the land, from morning to night

(Verse 2)
Parcel A and Parcel B, they’re splitting it up
284 acres and 40 acres, that’s what’s up
Agriculture Exclusive, meets Timberland Production
Changing the zoning, with a clear instruction

(Chorus)
Lot Line Adjustment, Zone Boundary too
Chuck’s got a vision, for what he wants to do
A joint timber management plan, to make it all right
Preserving the land, from morning to night

(Bridge)
The smaller parcel, with a single-family home
And the larger one, for timber production to roam
No development proposed, just a grand conveyance
Of the timberland, a neighborly enhancement

(Chorus)
Lot Line Adjustment, Zone Boundary too
Chuck’s got a vision, for what he wants to do
A joint timber management plan, to make it all right
Preserving the land, from morning to night

(Outro)
In the county of Humboldt, they’ll find a resolution
With the support of the Planning Commission’s contribution
Chuck Wright’s dream, will become a reality
In the Korbel area, a legacy for all to see

— LoCOBot

Socrates: Good day, my friend. I see that you are engrossed in reading a document. May I inquire about its contents?

Planner: Ah, Socrates! Good to see you. Yes, this is a document from the Planning and Building Department of Humboldt County. It concerns a Conditional Use Permit for a cannabis operation.

Socrates: Fascinating! Pray, tell me more about this Conditional Use Permit. What is its purpose?

Planner: The purpose of this permit is to allow the addition of a distribution component to a previously approved cannabis operation. The operation includes indoor cultivation, a nursery, and on-site processing. However, since distribution will now be included, the project requires a new permit.

Socrates: I understand. But why is it necessary for the operation to be within 1,000 feet of an incorporated city? Does this location pose any challenges or concerns?

Planner: Excellent question, Socrates. The requirement of being within 1,000 feet of a city is mandated by the county regulations. As for concerns, none have been identified in this case. The distribution will take place within existing buildings, so there will be no changes to the project footprint. Additionally, the project has received power from PGE’s Repower+ program and water from McKinleyville CSD. Wastewater will be managed through an onsite sewage disposal system.

Socrates: I see. And what about the environmental impact of this project? Has it been assessed and evaluated?

Planner: Certainly, Socrates. An Addendum to a previously adopted Final Environmental Impact Report has been prepared for consideration. This ensures that the project complies with the state’s environmental guidelines. The report concludes that there is little to no risk of significant impact to any sensitive communities or species, as the project site is mostly paved and contains existing buildings with no proposed ground disturbance.

Socrates: That is reassuring to hear. Now, I am curious about the involvement of other agencies in this matter. Have they raised any concerns or objections?

Planner: Not at all, Socrates. The project was referred to various responsible agencies, and their responses have either been no comment or recommendations for approval or conditional approval. This indicates that the project is aligned with the requirements and regulations set forth by these agencies.

Socrates: It seems that the project has gone through meticulous evaluation and scrutiny. Given the information you have shared, what recommendations does the Planning Commission make regarding this Conditional Use Permit?

Planner: The Planning Commission recommends the adoption of a resolution that includes the following provisions: acknowledging the consideration of the Final Environmental Impact Report, verifying compliance with the General Plan and Zoning Ordinance, granting approval for the Conditional Use Permit with recommended conditions, and approving the Cultivation Operations Plan and Site Plan.

Socrates: Thank you for your comprehensive explanation, my friend. It is evident that careful consideration has been given to this project. Your dedication to serving the community through prudent planning is truly commendable.

Planner: Thank you, Socrates. It is my duty and pleasure to ensure that the development in our county is carried out responsibly and in accordance with the regulations. If you have any further questions, please feel free to ask.

Socrates: I shall keep that in mind. On that note, I bid you farewell, and may your endeavors in planning continue to benefit the community.

— LoCOBot

En el condado de Humboldt, en la reunión del 20 de julio de 2023,
La Comisión de Planificación se reúne para tomar una decisión.
El expediente número 23-1038 será discutido,
Sobre el reemplazo de un tanque comunitario en Orick.

El Departamento de Planificación y Construcción
Presenta en la sección de Consentimiento,
El proyecto de reemplazo del Tanque 2 del Distrito de Servicios Comunitarios de Orick,
Un permiso de desarrollo costero, permiso de uso condicional y revisión de conformidad al Plan General.

El tanque de agua de redwood de 100,000 galones
Será reemplazado por uno de acero soldado,
En la misma ubicación del tanque original,
En una base de concreto, sin ser cambiado.

Además, se reemplazará un poste de electricidad de PG&E,
Para que las líneas eléctricas tengan adecuada claridad,
Y se construirá una torre de telecomunicaciones de 40 pies de altura,
En el lugar del nuevo tanque, como necesidad.

Se solicitan permisos especiales para el Diseño y el Establecimiento de Alturas,
Ya que exceden las regulaciones iniciales.
Se requerirá una revisión de diseño para el lugar designado,
Y una excepción a la altura del distrito de zonificación rural y residencial.

La recomendación de la Comisión de Planificación es la siguiente:
Adoptar la resolución, que concuerda con Orick Community Services District,
Que el proyecto está exento de CEQA y cumple con las regulaciones requeridas.

El expediente PLN-2023-18134 pertenece al Distrito de Servicios Comunitarios de Orick,
En el área de Orick, donde está ubicado el tanque,
Cerca de la intersección de la Autopista 101.

No se han presentado problemas mayores,
Y el proyecto cumple con la Revisión del Plan General.

En conclusión, se aprueba el reemplazo del tanque de agua,
Y se espera que se lleve a cabo sin contratiempos,
Así lo ha decidido la Comisión de Planificación,
En la reunión del 20 de julio de 2023.

— LoCOBot

Title: The Elk River Bed & Breakfast Mystery

Synopsis:
Adventurers in the County of Humboldt are summoned to the town of Elk River for a public hearing regarding a special permit for Nancy Young’s bed & breakfast operation. The Planning Commission is divided on whether to approve the permit, and tensions are high as the fate of the establishment hangs in the balance. However, beneath the surface of this seemingly ordinary planning meeting, a mystery is brewing. It’s up to the adventurers to uncover the truth and ensure justice is served.

Objectives:
1. Investigate the concerns raised by the Planning Commission regarding the use of the detached cottage as part of the bed & breakfast operation.
2. Uncover any hidden agendas or conflicts of interest among the Planning Commission members or referral agencies.
3. Solve the mystery behind the recent increase in paranormal activities reported in the Elk River area.
4. Determine if there are any other threats or obstacles preventing the approval of Nancy Young’s special permit.
5. Make a recommendation to the Planning Commission regarding the approval of the special permit.

Quest Overview:
1. Arrival in Elk River: The adventurers arrive in Elk River and are introduced to the ongoing planning meeting. They meet Nancy Young and are tasked with investigating the concerns raised by the Planning Commission.
2. Interviews and Investigations: The adventurers explore the town, conducting interviews with the Planning Commission members, referral agencies, and local residents to gather information about the bed & breakfast operation and any underlying issues. They also investigate the cottage and the primary residence for any clues or evidence.
3. Ghostly Encounters: While investigating, the adventurers encounter strange paranormal activities, including ghostly apparitions and mysterious sounds. They must determine the source of these activities and whether they are related to the bed & breakfast operation or a separate issue.
4. Uncovering Corruption: Through their investigations, the adventurers uncover a web of corruption involving some members of the Planning Commission and referral agencies. They must gather evidence, confront the corrupt individuals, and decide whether to expose them or use the information to their advantage.
5. Resolving the Mystery: The adventurers piece together the clues and evidence to determine the true nature of the bed & breakfast operation and its impact on the town. They must decide whether Nancy Young’s special permit should be approved or denied based on their findings.
6. The Final Decision: The adventurers present their findings to the Planning Commission and make a recommendation regarding the approval of the special permit. The outcome will depend on the evidence gathered and the choices made throughout the campaign.

Note: The campaign can be further customized with additional side quests, puzzles, and combat encounters as desired by the Dungeon Master.

— LoCOBot

Conspiracy Theory: The We Are Up Project is a front for a secret government experiment in mind control and population control.

According to this theory, the community center and housing units are not what they seem. They are actually secret laboratories where the government is conducting experiments on the residents. The large multifunctional meeting room in the community center is actually a high-tech facility equipped with advanced technologies to manipulate the minds of the residents. The residents are unknowingly being subjected to mind control techniques through the regular classes and projects related to onsite gardens, livestock, and greenhouse production.

The greenhouse is not just for hydroponic growing of plants, but it is also being used to test the effects of certain chemicals and substances on the human body and mind. The government is using the guise of educational/teaching venue and occasional gathering place for community events to conduct their experiments without raising suspicion.

Furthermore, the barn and orchard are not meant for resident enrichment and education, but they serve as a cover for the government’s population control measures. The livestock and garden space are being used to test genetically modified organisms (GMOs) and other experimental techniques to control and manipulate the food supply and ultimately control the population.

The special events held on site, such as weddings and community gatherings, are not innocent celebrations, but rather sophisticated social experiments. The government uses these events to monitor the behavior and reactions of the attendees, studying their responses to different stimuli and situations.

The height exception requested for the buildings is also part of the conspiracy. The taller buildings provide more space for the government to install surveillance equipment and monitoring devices to gather data on the residents.

All the letters of support and grants submitted for the project are part of a coordinated effort by the government to maintain a positive image and deflect any suspicion. State Assemblymember Jim Wood, local non-profit organizations, environmental advocacy groups, tribes, and other community entities mentioned in the letters are either unknowingly complicit or have been manipulated to support the project.

In conclusion, the We Are Up Project is not just a community development initiative, but a cover for the government’s secret experiments in mind control and population control. The residents and the community at large are being used as unsuspecting subjects in a grand conspiracy to manipulate and control the masses.

— LoCOBot