(Chorus)
Ho, the County of Humboldt, where the winds do blow
We’ll sign the agreement with the FAA, to ensure our airport’s flow
Through rain or shine, we’ll take the time, to observe the weather high
For the safety of all travelers, as they soar in the sky

(Verse 1)
The Humboldt County Department of Aviation, with pride we do declare
We’ll take on the responsibility, of weather observation fair
The Non-Federal Observation Program, we’ll carry out with care
To make sure our skies are clear, for all who travel there

(Chorus)
Ho, the County of Humboldt, where the winds do blow
We’ll sign the agreement with the FAA, to ensure our airport’s flow
Through rain or shine, we’ll take the time, to observe the weather high
For the safety of all travelers, as they soar in the sky

(Verse 2)
No funds will be paid to FAA, for the work that we must do
But costs will rise for certification, of observers who are true
We’ll hire a consultant, to provide the services due
To keep our airport safe and sound, under skies of blue

(Chorus)
Ho, the County of Humboldt, where the winds do blow
We’ll sign the agreement with the FAA, to ensure our airport’s flow
Through rain or shine, we’ll take the time, to observe the weather high
For the safety of all travelers, as they soar in the sky

(Verse 3)
So raise a cheer for aviation, in the County of Humboldt fair
As we navigate the skies above, with meticulous care
For the travelers who rely on us, to guide them through the air
We’ll keep our airport running smoothly, with this agreement we’ll share

(Chorus)
Ho, the County of Humboldt, where the winds do blow
We’ll sign the agreement with the FAA, to ensure our airport’s flow
Through rain or shine, we’ll take the time, to observe the weather high
For the safety of all travelers, as they soar in the sky

(Outro)
With this memorandum in hand, we’ll sail on through the storm
And keep our skies safe and clear, for all who travel worn
The County of Humboldt stands tall, with aviation as our form
Ensuring safe passage for all, as we weather the skies reborn.

— LoCOBot

“Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen of the Board of Supervisors of Humboldt County. I am here today to talk to you about the recent Certificates of Recognition presented by the Fortuna Chamber of Commerce. These awards highlight the hard work and dedication of local businesses and individuals, and I have to say, these are some impressive accomplishments worth celebrating.

Now, I know you might be thinking, how does this relate to buying a used car? Well, let me tell you - just like these award winners, our used cars are also worthy of recognition. Each one has been carefully inspected, detailed, and prepped for sale to ensure top-notch quality. And just like these awards, our prices are unbeatable, with no financial impact on your wallet.

So, why settle for anything less than the best? Come on down to our dealership and check out our award-winning selection of used cars today. Let’s celebrate success together and drive off in a car you can be proud of. Thank you for your time and consideration.”

— LoCOBot

“I tell ya, I went to the Soroptimist International of Humboldt Bay dinner and they were giving out certificates of recognition left and right. I asked for one and they said, ‘Sorry, we only recognize people who can actually make people laugh.’ Tough crowd, I tell ya!”

— LoCOBot

Detective John Hayes leaned back in his chair, reading over the retirement resolution for Melissa Chilton. It seemed like a routine item on the Board of Supervisors’ agenda, a simple recognition of someone’s dedication and service to the community. But something about it nagged at him, a feeling in his gut that there was more to this story than met the eye.

Melissa Chilton had been a long-time employee of the county, working in various departments over her 23 years of service. She was well-liked and respected by her colleagues, known for her dedication and hard work. So why did Detective Hayes feel like there was something off about her retirement?

He decided to dig deeper, starting with a visit to the county offices to speak with Chilton’s former coworkers. What he discovered only deepened his suspicions. There were whispers of inconsistencies in Chilton’s work history, unexplained absences, and strange behavior in the weeks leading up to her retirement. No one could quite put their finger on it, but they all agreed that something didn’t add up.

As Detective Hayes delved further into the case, he uncovered a web of deceit and betrayal that went far beyond what he had imagined. Melissa Chilton was not the model employee everyone thought she was; she was involved in a complex scheme to defraud the county of millions of dollars. Her retirement was just a cover for her disappearance, a way to make her escape without raising suspicion.

With the help of his partner, Detective Hayes pieced together the evidence and tracked Chilton down to a remote cabin in the woods. As they confronted her, she admitted to her crimes, but refused to go down without a fight. A tense standoff ensued, with Chilton pulling out a gun and threatening to take them all down with her.

In the end, Detective Hayes was able to talk Chilton down, convincing her to surrender peacefully. The case was closed, but the memory of Melissa Chilton’s betrayal would linger in the minds of everyone involved. As he filed his final report, Detective Hayes couldn’t help but wonder how many other secrets lurked in the quiet corners of Humboldt County, waiting to be uncovered. And he knew that he would be there to uncover them, one case at a time.

— LoCOBot

Conspiracy Theory: The proclamation of March 2025 as Bleeding Disorders Awareness Month in Humboldt County is not just a simple gesture of support for individuals with bleeding disorders. In fact, it is a covert operation by a secret organization to genetically modify the population of Humboldt County.

The proclamation serves as a distraction, allowing the organization to introduce a new “treatment” for bleeding disorders that is actually a form of genetic manipulation. By encouraging residents to support individuals with bleeding disorders and contribute to awareness efforts, they are unwittingly promoting the acceptance of this new treatment.

The true goal of this operation is to create a population of genetically modified individuals who are more easily controlled and manipulated. The organizations mentioned in the proclamation, such as the Hemophilia Council of California and the Redwood Bleeding Disorders Community, are actually front organizations for this secret group.

Residents of Humboldt County must be vigilant and question the true intentions behind this proclamation. It is not about raising awareness for bleeding disorders, but rather about creating a population that is vulnerable to manipulation and control. Stay informed and resist the genetic modification schemes of those in power.

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
In the County of Humboldt, where the redwoods stand tall
There’s a proclamation, for the women who gave their all
Supervisor Michelle Bushnell, she’s leading the way
March 2025, it’s Women’s History Month they say

(Chorus)
So raise a glass, to the women of our past
Their stories must be told, their legacies will last
In Humboldt County, we celebrate with pride
Women’s History Month, let their spirits never die

(Verse 2)
From the pioneers who settled this land
To the activists who took a stand
Their voices echo through the ages
In history’s pages, they’re written on the same

(Chorus)
So raise a glass, to the women of our past
Their stories must be told, their legacies will last
In Humboldt County, we celebrate with pride
Women’s History Month, let their spirits never die

(Bridge)
From the suffragettes to the trailblazers
In every field, they were the razors
Cutting through the barriers, breaking down the walls
Their strength and courage, it never falls

(Chorus)
So raise a glass, to the women of our past
Their stories must be told, their legacies will last
In Humboldt County, we celebrate with pride
Women’s History Month, let their spirits never die

(Outro)
So here’s to the women of Humboldt County
Their history, their stories, their legacy
In March 2025, we’ll honor and remember
The women who made us who we are today.

— LoCOBot

Once upon a time in the County of Humboldt, a magical meeting was taking place amongst the Board of Supervisors. The date was 3/11/2025, and the agenda for the day was to approve the Action Summary for the previous meeting held on February 25th, 2025.

The Clerk of the Board, a wise and ancient elf, presented the recommendation to the Board of Supervisors. The recommendation was simple - to approve the Action Summary and authorize the signing of the Minute Book in accordance with the California Governmental Code Section 25103.

As the discussion unfolded, it became clear that the actions taken during the previous meeting were of utmost importance. They involved matters that impacted the core services of the County of Humboldt and its residents. The Board of Supervisors deliberated on the strategic plan category, 9999 - Core Services/Other, and considered the financial impact on the General Fund.

Despite there being no financial impact on the General Fund, the Board of Supervisors knew that every decision they made had consequences, both seen and unseen. They understood the importance of their role in governing the county and providing for its citizens.

As the vote was called for, the room filled with a sense of anticipation. The Board of Supervisors, comprised of humans, elves, dwarves, and other mystical beings, all raised their hands in unison to approve the Action Summary. With a nod from the Board Chair, the Clerk of the Board and the Chair signed the Minute Book, making the actions taken in the previous meeting official.

With the approval of the Action Summary, a magical energy seemed to fill the room, a sense of unity and purpose among the members of the Board. They knew that together, they could overcome any challenge and protect the County of Humboldt from any threat.

And so, the meeting adjourned, leaving the members of the Board of Supervisors with a renewed sense of duty and determination to govern the county with wisdom and compassion. The County of Humboldt was safe once more, thanks to the brave and selfless leaders who stood guard over its lands.

— LoCOBot

My Dearest Jane,

I hope this letter finds you well and safe. I am writing to you from the trenches, under heavy fire from German artillery. The situation here is dire, but I wanted to take a moment to share with you some news from home.

I have received word about a project back in our County of Humboldt that is aimed at improving accessibility at Big Lagoon County Park. It warms my heart to hear about efforts to make our community more inclusive for everyone, especially those with disabilities. The project aims to create accessible pathways, parking stalls, picnic areas, and restrooms for all to enjoy.

I have learned that the Board of Supervisors is considering awarding the project to Adams Commercial General Contracting, Inc. They have submitted the lowest responsible bid for the project, and it seems like they are the right choice for the job.

It is truly heartening to see our county investing in projects that make a difference in people’s lives. I wish I could be there to witness the improvements myself, but for now, I find solace in knowing that our community is moving towards a more inclusive future.

I pray for the safety of everyone back home and hope that one day soon, we can be reunited and enjoy the beauty of Big Lagoon County Park together.

With all my love,

Charles

— LoCOBot

Title: The CalAIM Quest

Introduction: In the County of Humboldt, the Board of Supervisors has approved a groundbreaking agreement with Partnership HealthPlan of California to provide housing-related community support services to eligible Medi-Cal recipients. As adventurers in a land of magic and mystery, you are called upon to explore the challenges and opportunities of this new program in the quest known as CalAIM.

Quest Overview: Your party is hired by the Department of Health and Human Services (DHHS) to assist in the implementation of the housing-related community support services in Humboldt County. Your mission is to navigate the complexities of the agreement with Partnership HealthPlan of California and help eligible Medi-Cal recipients find, apply for, and secure housing. Along the way, you will encounter various obstacles, including social determinants of health, financial barriers, and potential eviction threats.

Objectives:
1. Investigate the housing transition navigation services offered by DHHS and identify areas for improvement.
2. Assist eligible Medi-Cal recipients in locating suitable housing options and securing necessary financial assistance.
3. Protect vulnerable individuals from eviction threats and ensure their tenancy sustainability.

Challenges:
1. Encounter hostile landlords or rival adventuring parties seeking to exploit the housing assistance services.
2. Navigate the bureaucracy of the Medi-Cal program and ensure accurate billing for the services provided.
3. Deal with unforeseen emergencies or crises that may arise during the implementation of the community support services.

Conclusion: By successfully completing the CalAIM quest, your party will not only earn valuable rewards and experience points but also make a tangible difference in the lives of those in need within Humboldt County. Your actions will contribute to the overall health and well-being of the community, fulfilling the strategic plan of providing housing for all.

Are you ready to embark on the CalAIM quest and make a difference in the County of Humboldt? The fate of the vulnerable Medi-Cal recipients rests in your hands. Good luck, adventurers!

— LoCOBot

The scene opens with the interview panel seated at a long table in a spacious conference room at the County of Humboldt offices. The panel consists of three members: the Department of Health and Human Services - Behavioral Health Director, a representative from Partnership HealthPlan of California, and a human resources manager.

The interviewee, a middle-aged woman named Sarah, sits nervously with a folder of documents in front of her. She wears a smart suit and has a professional demeanor. The Director begins the interview with a warm smile.

Director: “Good morning, Sarah. Thank you for coming in today. We have reviewed your application and are excited to learn more about how you can contribute to our team. Can you please tell us about your experience working with in-home supportive services?”

Sarah: “Good morning, thank you for having me. I have over ten years of experience working with in-home supportive services in various capacities. I have a strong understanding of the coordination needed between different agencies and providers to ensure continuity of care for clients.”

The Partnership HealthPlan representative nods in approval, impressed by Sarah’s experience. The human resources manager takes notes as the Director continues with the next question.

Director: “Great, that’s very relevant experience. Can you give us an example of a situation where you had to navigate complex regulations and ensure compliance with both state and federal laws?”

Sarah: “Certainly. In my previous role, I was tasked with implementing a new program that required adherence to strict state and federal regulations. I worked closely with legal counsel and regulatory agencies to ensure that all guidelines were met and that we were in full compliance at all times.”

The panel members listen intently as Sarah speaks confidently about her ability to handle complex challenges. The Partnership HealthPlan representative speaks up next.

Representative: “Sarah, how do you approach building and maintaining strong partnerships with other organizations involved in the delivery of in-home supportive services?”

Sarah: “I believe that communication and collaboration are key in building strong partnerships. I make sure to maintain open lines of communication with all stakeholders, including other agencies, providers, and clients, to ensure that everyone is on the same page and working towards common goals.”

The panel members nod in agreement, impressed by Sarah’s emphasis on teamwork and communication. The Director wraps up the interview with a final question.

Director: “Thank you, Sarah. One last question - how do you handle high-pressure situations and prioritize tasks to meet deadlines in a fast-paced environment?”

Sarah: “I thrive under pressure and am skilled at managing multiple tasks efficiently. I prioritize my workload based on deadlines and urgency, ensuring that all tasks are completed in a timely manner without sacrificing quality.”

The panel members exchange knowing glances, clearly impressed by Sarah’s responses. The Director smiles and extends her hand to Sarah.

Director: “Thank you for your thoughtful responses, Sarah. We will be in touch regarding the next steps in the hiring process. You have a strong background that aligns well with the requirements of the position. We appreciate your time today.”

Sarah thanks the panel members for the opportunity and exits the conference room with a sense of confidence. The panel members exchange positive remarks about Sarah’s qualifications and eagerly discuss the possibility of adding her to the team. The scene fades to black as the interview concludes, leaving the outcome of Sarah’s candidacy uncertain but hopeful.

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
In the County of Humboldt, where the heartache runs deep
There’s a Behavioral Health Board, where the broken go to seek
But the bylaws have been revised, changing everything we knew
Now the pain just keeps on growing, like a storm that never blew

(Chorus)
Oh, my troubled mind, lost in the fray
In this world of confusion, I just can’t find my way
I’m drowning in sorrow, in this sea of despair
In the County of Humboldt, it’s just too much to bear

(Verse 2)
Back in ‘62, the committee was formed
To help those in need, who felt so torn
But now the changes have come, tearing us apart
Leaving us with nothing but a shattered heart

(Chorus)
Oh, my troubled mind, lost in the fray
In this world of confusion, I just can’t find my way
I’m drowning in sorrow, in this sea of despair
In the County of Humboldt, it’s just too much to bear

(Bridge)
We used to have hope, we used to have light
But now it’s all gone, lost in the night
The Behavioral Health Board, once a beacon of hope
Now just a shadow, at the end of a rope

(Chorus)
Oh, my troubled mind, lost in the fray
In this world of confusion, I just can’t find my way
I’m drowning in sorrow, in this sea of despair
In the County of Humboldt, it’s just too much to bear

(Outro)
So I’ll keep on fighting, through the tears and the pain
In the County of Humboldt, where the sun shines through the rain
But I’ll never forget, the way things used to be
In the County of Humboldt, where the heartache runs deep.

— LoCOBot

Dans le comté de Humboldt,
Pour la réunion du 3/11/2025,
Nous parlons du Conseil de Superviseurs,
Et des candidats pour le Conseil de Santé Mentale.

Peter Stoll et Alex Childers,
Sont proposés pour un mandat de trois ans,
Pour le Conseil de Santé Mentale de Humboldt,
Afin de contribuer à des communautés saines et sécurisées.

Peter Stoll, expert en psychologie scolaire,
Et Alex Childers, jeune ayant reçu des services du comté,
Apporteront des expériences diverses et complémentaires,
Pour répondre aux besoins de la population.

Le Conseil de Santé Mentale de Humboldt,
Réunit quinze (15) membres chaque mois,
Pour discuter et agir en accord avec la loi Brown,
Et offrir des services adaptés à la diversité de la population.

Les amendements récents à la loi Welfare & Institutions,
Exigent une diversité dans la composition du conseil,
Avec des membres jeunes, des vétérans et des professionnels de l’éducation,
Pour répondre aux besoins de la communauté en santé mentale.

Les fonds proviendront du Fonds de Santé Mentale,
Et les candidats offriront bénévolement leurs services,
Aucun impact financier sur le fonds général du comté,
Ni sur les niveaux de personnel actuels.

Les recommandations du personnel sont claires,
Mais la décision finale appartient au Conseil de Superviseurs,
Qui pourront examiner les candidatures avec attention,
Et choisir les membres les plus aptes à servir la communauté.

En conclusion, ces nominations sont essentielles,
Pour renforcer le Conseil de Santé Mentale de Humboldt,
Et soutenir la mission de fournir des services de qualité,
Pour tous ceux qui en ont besoin dans le comté.

— LoCOBot

Listen up, Board of Supervisors! The County of Humboldt is about to make a power move that will shake the foundations of healthcare in our community. We’re talking about a Data Access Agreement with the Oregon Community Health Information Network and Open-Door Community Health Centers that will revolutionize the way we handle electronic health data.

We’re not just talking about any old agreement here. This is a game-changer that will give us direct access to crucial patient information and improve the coordination of care for our people. It’s a bold move that shows we are committed to protecting the privacy of our clients and ensuring the security of their health data.

So, Board of Supervisors, are you ready to step up and make the right call? Or are you going to sit back and watch as we level up our healthcare game without you? The choice is yours, but make no mistake - this agreement is happening, with or without you.

— LoCOBot

Title: Scooby-Doo and the Case of the Mysterious Reclassification

[The gang is driving through the countryside of Humboldt County, on their way to visit a friend who works at the Planning and Building Department. As they arrive at the department, they see a group of employees gathered around a notice board, looking worried.]

Velma: Looks like something’s going on here, gang. Let’s see if we can find out what’s got everyone so concerned.

[The gang approaches the group of employees, who seem to be discussing a notice about a reclassification of a staff member.]

Shaggy: Like, what’s going on here, guys? Why does everyone look so worried?

Employee 1: Oh, it’s terrible. Gerald Giannini, one of our colleagues, is being reclassified from a Senior Office Assistant to an Executive Secretary. We’re not sure why, but it’s causing a lot of stress around here.

Daphne: That does sound mysterious. Maybe we should look into this reclassification and see if there’s something strange going on.

[Scooby sniffs around and starts following a scent, leading the gang to the office of Gerald Giannini.]

Fred: Mr. Giannini, we heard about the reclassification and wanted to find out more. Can you tell us what’s been happening?

Gerald Giannini: Oh, thank goodness you’re here. I don’t understand why they want to reclassify me. I’ve always been a Senior Office Assistant, and now they want to make me an Executive Secretary. It just doesn’t make sense.

Velma: Let’s take a look at the details of this reclassification and see if we can uncover any clues.

[Velma examines the documents related to the reclassification and notices something suspicious.]

Velma: Ah-ha! It seems that most of your time is spent responding to California Public Records Act requests. Maybe someone is trying to hide something by reclassifying you to a position with more responsibilities.

Fred: That’s a good point, Velma. Let’s investigate further and see if we can figure out why this reclassification is happening.

[The gang splits up to gather more information, with Velma and Daphne interviewing other employees while Fred and Shaggy search the office for clues. Scooby, meanwhile, sniffs around for any hidden secrets.]

[After piecing together all the information, the gang gathers back at Gerald’s office to reveal the culprit.]

Velma: It turns out that someone in the department was trying to cover up their mishandling of Public Records Act requests by reclassifying you, Gerald. They were hoping to shift the blame onto you.

Gerald Giannini: That’s terrible! But who could it be?

[Just then, a suspicious-looking employee enters the office.]

Employee 2: I can’t believe you figured it out. Yes, it was me. I couldn’t handle the pressure of the CPRA requests and thought reclassifying Gerald would solve my problems.

Fred: Looks like we’ve cracked the case, gang. Another mystery solved.

[The police arrive to arrest the culprit, and the gang bids farewell to their friends at the Planning and Building Department.]

Scooby-Doo: Ruh-roh, Raggy. Re reclassified re Rooby-Roo!

[Everyone laughs as they head back to the Mystery Machine, ready for their next adventure.]

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
In the County of Humboldt, where dreams come true
We’re seeking funds for homes, for me and you
CalHome program, grant application in hand
To continue our mission, across the land

(Chorus)
Owner-Occupied Rehab and ADU loan
First-time home buyers, make this place our own
With $1.5 million, we’ll build anew
In the County of Humboldt, where skies are blue

(Verse 2)
From repairing homes to building ADUs
We’re here to help, for families to choose
Affordable housing, for those in need
With CalHome program, we’ll plant the seed

(Chorus)
Owner-Occupied Rehab and ADU loan
First-time home buyers, make this place our own
With $1.5 million, we’ll build anew
In the County of Humboldt, where skies are blue

(Bridge)
Let’s join together, and make a change
In the County of Humboldt, our goals will range
To provide safe housing, for all to see
With CalHome program, we’ll set you free

(Chorus)
Owner-Occupied Rehab and ADU loan
First-time home buyers, make this place our own
With $1.5 million, we’ll build anew
In the County of Humboldt, where skies are blue

(Outro)
So let’s approve this resolution today
For a brighter future, in every way
In the County of Humboldt, we’ll thrive and grow
With CalHome program, our love will show.

— LoCOBot

Pokemon Duel: Chief Probation Officer Coral Sanders vs The Boys and Girls Club of the Redwoods

In the bustling County of Humboldt, Chief Probation Officer Coral Sanders faces off against the Boys and Girls Club of the Redwoods in a Pokemon duel to determine the fate of juvenile delinquency prevention services.

Chief Probation Officer Coral Sanders sends out her trusty Scizor, ready to defend the youth of Humboldt County with its sharp claws and steel exoskeleton. The Boys and Girls Club of the Redwoods counters with their playful Jolteon, a lightning-fast Pokemon known for its speed and agility.

As the battle commences, Scizor lunges forward with a powerful Metal Claw attack, but Jolteon dodges with a quick Thunderbolt. Jolteon retaliates with a dazzling Discharge, paralyzing Scizor momentarily.

Chief Probation Officer Coral Sanders calls upon her strategic mind to guide Scizor in battle. With a swift Agility, Scizor evades Jolteon’s Thunder Wave and counterattacks with a devastating Bullet Punch, knocking Jolteon back.

But the Boys and Girls Club of the Redwoods is not backing down. Jolteon unleashes a powerful Thunder attack, electrifying the battlefield and weakening Scizor. Chief Probation Officer Coral Sanders must think fast to turn the tide in her favor.

Channeling her determination to protect the youth of Humboldt County, Chief Probation Officer Coral Sanders commands Scizor to use its signature move, Swords Dance. With a boost in its attack power, Scizor charges forward with a mighty X-Scissor, overcoming Jolteon’s defenses and securing victory for the Probation Department.

In a display of sportsmanship, the Boys and Girls Club of the Redwoods congratulates Chief Probation Officer Coral Sanders on her strategic prowess and dedication to juvenile delinquency prevention services. Together, they continue their partnership to support at-risk youth and create a brighter future for the community of Humboldt County.

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
In the County of Humboldt, on March eleventh, twenty-five
The Board of Supervisors, with Probation, they did strive
For the Semi-Annual Sanctuary Report, it was the task
To see if civil immigration detentions were within their grasp

(Chorus)
Sanctuary in Humboldt, it’s a place where all are free
Probation reports to the Board, as it should rightly be
No financial impact, just staff time, they say
Supporting the Strategic Plan in every single way

(Verse 2)
The Chief Probation Officer, with a written report in hand
Communications with agencies, they must understand
Federal laws and detainers, numbers tallied up
No staffing impact, just doing their job

(Chorus)
Sanctuary in Humboldt, it’s a place where all are free
Probation reports to the Board, as it should rightly be
No financial impact, just staff time, they say
Supporting the Strategic Plan in every single way

(Bridge)
Funding from the General Fund, no worries in sight
Everything accounted for, no need for a fight
The Board may choose to refer back, but it’s not really needed
Probation’s got it covered, they’re already succeeded

(Chorus)
Sanctuary in Humboldt, it’s a place where all are free
Probation reports to the Board, as it should rightly be
No financial impact, just staff time, they say
Supporting the Strategic Plan in every single way

(Outro)
So here’s to Humboldt County, where sanctuary reigns
Where Probation does their duty, with no troubles or pains
Receiving the report, the Board can rest at ease
Knowing all is well, in the County of Humboldt, they please.

— LoCOBot

Hear ye, hear ye! The County of Humboldt announces an important meeting for the Board of Supervisors on 3/11/2025. We have a file number 25-300 to discuss a Professional Services Agreement with Cisco Lassiter Investigations for Investigative Services related to California’s Public Defense Pilot Program in the Amount of $85,025.

The recommendation is as follows:
1. Approve the professional services agreement with Cisco Lassiter Investigations.
2. Authorize the Public Defender to execute any subsequent amendments to the agreement.
3. Direct the Clerk of the Board to return the fully executed agreement to the Public Defender.

This action supports the Safe & Healthy Communities focus area of the Board’s Strategic Plan. The program aims to reduce incarceration costs by facilitating the release of individuals who no longer pose a risk to public safety.

Funding for the program comes from the CA Resentencing Pilot Program. The financial impact is projected at $85,025, with $50,000 budgeted for FY 24-25 and $35,025 for FY 25-26. This agreement is crucial for the effective operation of the Resentencing Pilot Program.

There is no staffing impact from this action. The Board of Supervisors may choose not to approve the recommendation, but it is not recommended as it is vital for the successful implementation of the program.

Join us in discussing this important matter and making a decision that will benefit our community. Thank you for your attention.

— LoCOBot

O, County o’ Humboldt, in bonnie Scotland fair,
Whaur the Board o’ Supervisors dae meet wi’ care.
On the third o’ November, in the year twa thoosan’ twenty-five,
File nummer 25-327, keepin’ the office alive.

The Public Defender, wi’ recommendations sae clear,
Seeks an extension o’ hours for Austin Kadle dear.
Fiscal year twa thoosan’ twenty-four and twa thoosan’ twenty-five,
Extra-help employment tae keep the office’s spirit alive.

A vote required o’ four-fifths, aye, that’s the rule,
Tae authorize the extension, tae keep the office cool.
Strategic plan supportin’ core services so fine,
In the land o’ Humboldt, where the suns aye shine.

Austin Kadle, workin’ hard, in the Public Defender’s hand,
Extending his hours tae meet the office’s demand.
Financial impact considered, funds from General Fund,
State and Federal contributions, keepin’ the office sound.

An estimated total o’ Forty Six Thousand, Five Hundred Sixty-One,
Budgeted expenses and additional appropriation none.
Expenditures o’ salary and benefits, no exceedin’ the line,
To keep the Public Defender’s Office in fine shine.

No impact on current staffin’, implications clear,
Approval o’ the extension brings the office near.
No other agency involvement, the decision is near,
To approve the extension and keep the workflow dear.

So, Board o’ Supervisors, in Humboldt County grand,
Approve the extension, give a helpin’ hand.
For Austin Kadle and the office so true,
Keepin’ the Public Defender’s Office runnin’ through.

— LoCOBot

Welcome, listeners, to Merv “The Beast” Tarkington, your favorite conservative voice on the airwaves. Today, we have some shocking news coming out of Humboldt County that exemplifies the wasteful spending and government overreach that has become all too common in California.

The Board of Supervisors is considering extending a lease agreement with Roger and Nancy Brown for the use of real property located at 39 Mayfair Street in Willow Creek. This facility houses the Humboldt County Library and has been leased since the early 1900s.

Now, you may be thinking, “What’s the big deal, Merv? It’s just a library.” Well, let me tell you, folks, this lease extension comes with a hefty price tag. The rent is set to increase from $1,350 to $1,550 per month, with the total expenditures reaching $1,550 each year. That’s taxpayer money being spent on a lease that may not be necessary!

But it gets even worse, folks. The Board of Supervisors claims that there are no alternative facilities available in the Willow Creek area to house the library. Really? Are we to believe that there is no other option than to keep funneling taxpayer dollars into this lease agreement?

I call on the Board of Supervisors to put a stop to this madness. We need fiscal responsibility and accountability in our government, not wasteful spending on unnecessary lease agreements. It’s time to stand up and demand better from our elected officials.

So, listeners, I urge you to contact the Board of Supervisors and voice your opposition to this lease extension. Let them know that we will not stand for this misuse of taxpayer funds. Together, we can make a difference and hold our government accountable. This is Merv “The Beast” Tarkington signing off - stay strong, stay vigilant, and keep fighting for what’s right.

— LoCOBot

As the sun set over the picturesque town of Eureka, California, Evelyn stood outside the abandoned K-Mart store at 4325 Broadway. The building may have been empty for years, but Evelyn saw potential in the space. As the Director of Public Works for the County of Humboldt, she had a vision to transform the building into a One Stop Permitting Center, a place where residents could easily navigate the permitting process for various projects.

Just as Evelyn was lost in thought, a car pulled up to the curb. Out stepped a man with a confident stride and a briefcase in hand. It was Michael McNellis, the representative from McNellis Partners Inc., the current owner of the property. His piercing blue eyes met Evelyn’s, and she felt a spark of attraction she couldn’t ignore.

As they entered the building together, Evelyn couldn’t help but admire Michael’s knowledge of the space and his vision for its potential. They spent hours discussing the layout, the improvements needed, and the impact their project could have on the community. With each passing moment, Evelyn found herself drawn to Michael in a way she hadn’t experienced in years.

Over the following weeks, Evelyn and Michael worked tirelessly to negotiate the terms and conditions for the purchase of the property. As they discussed square footage, parking space, and renovation plans, their connection deepened. It wasn’t long before their professional relationship turned into something more.

One evening, as they stood in the empty building, surrounded by blueprints and construction plans, Michael took Evelyn’s hand and looked into her eyes. “I never expected to find love in a business deal,” he whispered, his voice filled with emotion.

Evelyn smiled, feeling a warmth spread through her chest. “Sometimes, the most unexpected things bring us the greatest joy,” she replied, leaning in to kiss him softly.

And so, against the backdrop of a county meeting agenda and real estate negotiations, Evelyn and Michael’s love story blossomed. Together, they transformed the abandoned K-Mart store into a vibrant hub of community activity, and their romance filled the space with an energy that could be felt by all who entered. In the County of Humboldt, a new chapter of love and possibility had begun.

— LoCOBot

Em terras de Humboldt, vamos celebrar
O carnaval que alegra o coração
O Sherife pede permissão para contratar
Mais dois funcionários para a delegação

Um especialista em Informação Pública
Para manter a comunicação em dia
E um Técnico de Propriedades para a conduta
Garantindo a segurança todo dia

É vital para a justiça funcionar bem
Com pessoal qualificado em ação
A operação de evidências e bens
É fundamental para a nossa nação

Não há fundos extras sendo solicitados
Tudo está dentro do orçamento aprovado
HCSO apenas busca os dois empregados
Para as funções essenciais serem realizadas

Que o Conselho aprove sem hesitação
Essas contratações para o bem geral
Que o carnaval de Humboldt seja a celebração
Dessa decisão que ajudará o local

Vamos festejar com alegria e cor
O carnaval de Humboldt vai começar
A decisão está feita, só falta o ardor
Da música, da dança, do povo a celebrar!

— LoCOBot

Beavis: Uh, hey Butt-head, check it out. It’s like some kind of meeting thing.

Butt-head: Yeah, it’s like, a Board of Supervisors thingy.

Beavis: Yeah, for the County of Humboldt. They’re talking about like, short-term rental stuff.

Butt-head: Yeah, they wanna change some rules or something.

Beavis: Yeah, like, they’re talking about roads and like, agricultural zones and stuff.

Butt-head: Yeah, sounds boring. I’d rather watch TV or something.

Beavis: Yeah, me too. This meeting stuff is like, lame.

Butt-head: Yeah, who cares about short-term rentals and ordinances and stuff?

Beavis: Yeah, it’s like, too much reading and thinking. Let’s go find something more fun to do.

Butt-head: Yeah, let’s go find some nachos or something. This meeting stuff is making me hungry.

— LoCOBot

Title: The Permits Predicament

[Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer are sitting in Monk’s Cafe]

Jerry: So, did you guys hear about those permits being revoked in Humboldt County?

George: Permits? What permits?

Jerry: Cannabis cultivation permits. Apparently, 22 permits are being revoked because the holders haven’t paid their taxes and fees.

Elaine: That’s a big deal. How do you not pay your taxes and fees?

Kramer: I knew a guy once who tried to avoid paying taxes by living in international waters on a boat. Let’s just say it didn’t end well.

Jerry: Classic Kramer move. But back to these permits, I can’t imagine the chaos that’s causing for those permit holders.

George: I bet they’re freaking out. Losing a permit like that could cost them big time.

Jerry: Maybe we should go check it out. See if we can get the inside scoop.

[Cut to Jerry and the gang at the Humboldt County Board of Supervisors meeting]

Jerry: This is like watching a real-life courtroom drama unfold.

Elaine: Look at that guy pleading his case. He’s sweating bullets.

Kramer: I once had to testify in a court case about a parking ticket. I brought in a pigeon as my character witness.

George: Let’s hope these permit holders have better luck than you did, Kramer.

[Cut to the gang outside the meeting]

Jerry: Well, that was intense. I can’t believe they revoked all those permits.

Elaine: It’s a tough lesson to learn. Always pay your taxes and fees on time.

Kramer: Hey, I’ve got an idea. Why don’t we start a cannabis cultivation business? We could make millions.

Jerry: I think we’ll leave the green thumb business to someone else, Kramer.

George: Yeah, I don’t think we have the expertise for that. Let’s stick to our day jobs.

[The gang walks off, leaving the chaos of the Humboldt County permits behind them]

[End scene]

— LoCOBot

En el condado de Humboldt, en la reunión de Marzo
Un plan se presenta, un contrato se propone
Para preservar la tierra, para cuidar el suelo
Y mantener la agricultura en su mejor desvelo.

El Trust de Sean y Kathryn O’Day, en el 2015
Busca proteger sus tierras, su ganado y su riqueza
El plan es claro, la recomendación frenesí
Que la Junta de Supervisores apoye con certeza.

Con 157 acres en Freshwater, la propuesta se alinea
El pastoreo de ganado, el sustento de la vida
La Comisión de Planificación ya dio su opinión
Con votos unánimes, sin ninguna desviación.

El Acta Williamson está en juego, la conservación en la mesa
Para mantener las tierras agrícolas, para evitar su degradación
Un contrato se firma, una promesa que no pesa
Para mantener la belleza de nuestra nación.

Sin violaciones, sin preocupaciones mayores
El proyecto avanza, con la esperanza de buenas cosechas
El impacto financiero es mínimo, los beneficios son sorprendentes
La tierra preservada, las tasas reducidas, un futuro sin brechas.

En Freshwater, en Humboldt, la tierra se preserva
Con esfuerzo y dedicación, con visión y certeza
Que la agricultura perdure, que el suelo se conserve
En el condado de Humboldt, en cada amanecer.

— LoCOBot

Agricultural Preserve Recipe

Ingredients:
- 200 acres of land in the Ferndale area
- 2015 Sean O’Day and Kathryn O’Day Family Trust
- Cattle grazing and feed production

Instructions:
1. In a large meeting room, open the public hearing for the 2015 Sean O’Day and Kathryn O’Day Family Trust Agricultural Preserve.
2. Receive and consider the staff report, Planning Commission’s findings, and public comments.
3. Close the public hearing.
4. Adopt the attached resolution to form the 2015 Sean O’Day and Kathryn O’Day Family Trust Class A Agricultural Preserve.
5. Direct the Chair to execute the 2015 Sean O’Day and Kathryn O’Day Family Trust Land Conservation Contract.
6. Direct the Clerk of the Board to provide a certified board order to Planning and Building staff for notification to appropriate parties.

7. For the preserve to qualify, it must be at least 100 contiguous acres with no parcel less than 20 acres, more than 50% prime agricultural land, and meet certain zoning and income requirements.
8. The property must be used for agricultural purposes and have a gross annual income of $12,000 per ownership unit for 3 of the last 5 years.
9. The property will be valued as open space land for tax purposes under the Williamson Act.
10. The Board’s approval supports the Strategic Plan’s focus on preserving agricultural and timber land.

11. The 200-acre parcel is Agricultural Exclusive/Prime and Non-Prime Lands, zoned AE-60/A,F,R,T, suitable for cattle grazing and feed production.
12. The property generated an average income of $117,111 per year from agricultural activities over the past 5 years.
13. There are no outstanding zoning violations on the property.

14. The project location is the Ferndale area, on Pleasant Point Road.
15. The project is exempt from environmental review.
16. The property tax reduction under the Williamson Act contract is estimated to be $19,055.28 annually.

17. The project was referred to responsible agencies who recommended approval.
18. Contact Rodney Yandell, Senior Planner, for any questions regarding the project.

Enjoy your new Agricultural Preserve in the Ferndale area!

— LoCOBot