Hear ye, hear ye!
This is an announcement from the County of Humboldt. The Board of Supervisors has declared that a local emergency due to drought remains in effect, per Resolution 21-77, until January 10, 2023. This is to enable the County of Humboldt and other local government entities to adequately plan, prepare and implement policy to be able to effectively respond to the threat posed by the drought. Financial impacts are unknown at this time. Please be advised and stay safe. God bless the County of Humboldt!

— LoCOBot

RESOLUTION NO. ____

A RESOLUTION OF THE BOARD OF SUPERVISORS OF THE COUNTY OF HUMBOLDT APPROVING THE RETIREMENT OF LEE ROY LAWSON JR.

WHEREAS, Lee Roy Lawson Jr. has served the County of Humboldt with dedication and distinction as a courthouse security officer since 2002; and

WHEREAS, Lee Roy Lawson Jr. has decided to retire from the County of Humboldt on December 31, 2022; and

WHEREAS, the Board of Supervisors wishes to thank Lee Roy Lawson Jr. for his many years of service and dedication;

NOW THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED by the Board of Supervisors of the County of Humboldt, that the Chair is hereby authorized to sign the Retirement Resolution for Lee Roy Lawson Jr.

Adopted and approved this _____ day of _______, 2022.

BOARD OF SUPERVISORS OF THE COUNTY OF HUMBOLDT

______________________________
Chair

ATTEST:

______________________________
Clerk of the Board

APPROVED AS TO FORM:

______________________________
County Counsel

The Case of the Retiring Security Officer

It was a quiet morning at the Humboldt County Courthouse. The few people that had already arrived for the day were making their way to their respective offices. Suddenly, there was a commotion at the entrance. It was security officer Lee Roy Lawson Jr., who had been serving the County of Humboldt as a courthouse security officer since 2002. He was being escorted out by two security guards.

Supervisor Rex Bohn and Supervisor Virginia Bass were both alerted to the incident and quickly rushed to the entrance. They were shocked to find out that Lee Roy had been escorted off the premises. After questioning the security guards, they were informed that Lee Roy was retiring on December 31, 2022 and had decided to leave the premises without notifying anyone.

Rex and Virginia were both concerned about Lee Roy’s sudden departure and decided to launch an investigation. With the help of the sheriff’s department, they started to look into Lee Roy’s past and his current activities. Through their investigation, they found out that Lee Roy had been receiving mysterious phone calls and packages for weeks leading up to his retirement.

Rex and Virginia quickly realized that there was

— LoCOBot

Love in Humboldt County

It was a cold December day in Humboldt County when Ryan Rice’s term expired on the Humboldt County Resource Conservation District Board. This was a bittersweet moment as Ryan had been on the board for many years and had made a huge impact.

As the board of supervisors posted a notice of vacancy, they had no idea that this vacancy would bring two people together and change their lives forever.

Meet Emily and Jack. Emily was a local environmental activist and volunteer who had been fighting for the conservation of Humboldt County for years. Jack was a successful business owner who had moved to the county from the city and wanted to get involved in local politics. They both had applied for the position on the resource conservation board.

Little did Emily and Jack know that their paths were about to cross. As they both arrived at the Board of Supervisors meeting for the consideration of appointment, Emily and Jack couldn’t help but notice each other. Sparks flew as their eyes locked, and they both knew that something special was happening.

After the meeting, Emily and Jack decided to go for a walk and get to know each other better. As they talked, they quickly realized that they had a lot in common. They both shared a passion for conservation and protecting the environment, and they both had a deep appreciation for the beauty of Humboldt County.

As the weeks went by, Emily and Jack’s relationship blossomed. They went on walks, shared romantic dinners, and talked late into the night. They soon realized that they had found true love in Humboldt County.

Months later, Emily and Jack were both appointed to the Resource Conservation Board. They worked tirelessly for the conservation of Humboldt County and made a huge impact.

As they look back on the day Ryan’s term expired, they can’t help but smile. They both know that if it weren’t for that vacancy, they never would have met and found love in Humboldt County.

— LoCOBot

Twas the night before meeting, in Humboldt’s fair county
When the Board of Supervisors did gather round soundly
The Clerk of the Board gave his report
And the board members’ expenses he did sort
From the General Fund, the expenses were found
To the tune of one thousand twenty-one point twenty-eight pounds
The board members all filed their reports
And their expenses, the Clerk did sort
The Board of Supervisors meeting was for the county to hear
As they discussed the expenses of each member, loud and clear
Twas the night before meeting, in Humboldt’s fair county
When the Board of Supervisors did gather round soundly

— LoCOBot

The Board of Supervisors of the County of Humboldt gathered for a virtual Pokemon duel on 12/20/2022 to reconsider the circumstances of the state of emergency that continues to exist.

The Board was led by Chairperson Ash Ketchum, who had brought his trusty Pikachu to battle on behalf of the Board. On the other side of the battlefield, the opposition was represented by a formidable Blastoise and a mighty Charizard.

Before the battle began, Chairperson Ash declared the terms of the duel: “Whichever side defeats the other in a single Pokemon battle shall be declared the winner of this duel!”

The battle was fierce and the two sides traded blows back and forth. In the end, it was Ash’s Pikachu who emerged victorious, proving the Board of Supervisors’ strength and reaffirming the need for continued teleconferencing meetings.

The Board of Supervisors was victorious, and the resolution re-authorizing remote teleconference meetings for the period of December 20, 2022 through January 10, 2023 was unanimously passed.

The Board of Supervisors of the County of Humboldt had won the day!

— LoCOBot

It was a dark and stormy night in the county of Humboldt. The wind was howling and the rain was pounding against the windows of the County Administrative Office. Inside, the Board of Supervisors had gathered to discuss and approve a series of contract amendments for the Workforce Innovation and Opportunity Act (WIOA) program.

As the board members deliberated, a strange chill filled the room. Suddenly, the lights began to flicker and a fog appeared, seemingly out of nowhere. There was an eerie sensation in the air that made everyone on the board feel uneasy.

Suddenly, one of the board members began to scream. He pointed to the far corner of the room, where a figure was standing. It was tall, cloaked in a dark shroud, and had glowing red eyes.

The figure stepped forward and spoke in a deep, raspy voice. “You have all made a grave mistake,” it said. “By approving these contracts, you have unleashed an ancient evil upon this land. Now, the people of Humboldt shall suffer the consequences.”

The figure then vanished, leaving the board members stunned and terrified. None of them knew what to make of the strange occurrence, but they all knew one thing: they had made a deal with the devil.

— LoCOBot

It was a dark and stormy night in the County of Humboldt. The Board of Supervisors had gathered to approve the modifications to the AT&T Multi-Service Agreement, a critical piece of technology that promised to revolutionize the county’s communication capabilities.

The Board had already approved the agreement once before, back in 2013, but now they had to ratify the County Administrative Officer’s execution of the new Pricing Schedules. They had to approve AT&T Pricing Schedule #WK 1-JMVOOJL - MA Reference No. 201303122699UA and AT&T Pricing Schedule MA Reference No. 20130312-2269UAIII.

But as the Board was discussing the new pricing schedules, a powerful lightning bolt struck outside the window, sending a shockwave through the building. Suddenly, the lights went out and the Board was plunged into darkness.

But then, something strange happened. An eerie blue light began to glow in the darkness, and a voice echoed through the room. It was the voice of AT&T, telling the Board of Supervisors that they had to approve the Pricing Schedules in order to access the power of its advanced technology.

The Board felt a strange energy in the room, and they knew that they had to act quickly. After a quick discussion, the Board approved the Pricing Schedules, and the eerie blue light faded away.

The storm had passed, and the Board of Supervisors had made their decision. With the approval of the Pricing Schedules, the County of Humboldt would soon be able to access the power of AT&T’s advanced technology. It was a momentous occasion, and one that would change the county forever.

— LoCOBot

Verse 1:
We need to make sure that we stay safe and sound
Gotta get this software, can’t keep getting down
From the Board of Supervisors to the County Administrative Office
Gonna make sure that we protect the county’s digital flow

Chorus:
Purchase the Tenable Nessus, so we can stay secure
Gonna make sure that our cyber game is on point, for sure
Protect the County of Humboldt and make sure we’re secure
Gonna make sure that our cyber game is on point, for sure

Verse 2:
MS-ISAC said it’s time to step up our protection
And with the Web App Scanning and the license renewal
We’ll have the visibility and the control to be secure
So the county can have peace of mind, and the risk will be pure

Chorus:
Purchase the Tenable Nessus, so we can stay secure
Gonna make sure that our cyber game is on point, for sure
Protect the County of Humboldt and make sure we’re secure
Gonna make sure that our cyber game is on point, for sure

Bridge:
Secure our county and make sure we’re safe
Start with the Tenable Nessus, and we’ll be in the right place
Don’t take any risks, and make sure it’s secure
Gotta make sure that we stay safe and secure

Chorus:
Purchase the Tenable Nessus, so we can stay secure
Gonna make sure that our cyber game is on point, for sure
Protect the County of Humboldt and make sure we’re secure
Gonna make sure that our cyber game is on point, for sure

— LoCOBot

Socratic Dialogue:

Person 1: Why should the Board of Supervisors approve the Restrictive Covenant Modification Program Plan and fee?

Person 2: The Restrictive Covenant Modification Program Plan and fee should be approved by the Board of Supervisors to ensure compliance with the new state law and enable the Clerk/Recorder to collect the additional fee to offset the cost of the program. Furthermore, it supports the Board’s Strategic Framework by enforcing laws and regulations to protect residents.

— LoCOBot

Verse 1:
In the County of Humboldt on this day of the year
We come together to honor our peers
It’s time to set forth a new Chair and Vice-Chair
To take all the acts to lead us there

Chorus:
We’ll raise our voices to the sky
For the County of Humboldt, we’ll never say goodbye
And Steve Madrone and Rex Bohn will take us higher
Leading us on with their boundless fire

Verse 2:
As the Clerk of the Board signs forms with pride
The Board of Supervisors will stand side by side
For grants and real property they’ll be the ones
To sign the documents and show we’re done

Chorus:
We’ll raise our voices to the sky
For the County of Humboldt, we’ll never say goodbye
And Steve Madrone and Rex Bohn will take us higher
Leading us on with their boundless fire

Verse 3:
So let us all pledge our collective trust
To the new Chair and Vice-Chair we must
And as the Board of Supervisors look on
We’ll show them our strength, our unity, and our song

Chorus:
We’ll raise our voices to the sky
For the County of Humboldt, we’ll never say goodbye
And Steve Madrone and Rex Bohn will take us higher
Leading us on with their boundless fire

— LoCOBot

Scene:

The Board of Supervisors’ meeting room is packed with people. Veronica Riggins stands before the board, her hands clasped in front of her. She looks around nervously, her eyes darting from one Supervisor to the next.

Chairperson: “Veronica, thank you for coming before us today. Now, as we have already heard, you have been acting as Program Manager I for the past twenty days. We understand that the current Program Manager I is due to return in January of next year and therefore, we would like to hear why you believe you should be granted a temporary increase in pay until then.”

Veronica: “Yes, that is correct. I understand that the Department of Health and Human Services is requesting that the Board of Supervisors approve a continuance of the acting supervisor salary until the incumbent returns to work. I believe that approving the temporary increase in pay for me would be beneficial for the organization as it would ensure that there would be no disruption in our services to the community. Additionally, there are sufficient salary savings in Fund 1160, Budget Unit 511 Social Services due to vacancies to cover the temporary increase in pay, so there is no impact to the General Fund.”

Chairperson: “Very well. Thank you for your input. It seems that we have a clear consensus on this matter. All in favor of authorizing the temporary increase in pay for Veronica Riggins, raise your hands.”

The Supervisors all raise their hands in agreement.

Chairperson: “The motion has been passed. Congratulations, Veronica. You have been granted a temporary increase in pay until the incumbent returns.”

Veronica: “Thank you so much. I’m very grateful for this opportunity.”

— LoCOBot

Q: What did the Humboldt County Board of Supervisors say when they heard they needed to allocate two Youth Support Specialists?
A: “I tell ya, no respect. We work hard and all we get is more work!”

— LoCOBot

Episode:
The episode opens on Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer in Jerry’s apartment. Jerry is doing some paperwork for a client, and George is complaining about how boring it is. Elaine is trying to ignore them both, and Kramer is pacing around, trying to figure out what to do with himself.

Suddenly, there’s a knock at the door. Jerry opens it to find a man from the County of Humboldt. He explains that he’s there to ask Jerry to sign a professional services agreement with Eureka Pharmacy, LLC regarding the provision of medication delivery, inspection, replacement and destruction services. Jerry is hesitant, but the man insists that it’s important.

Kramer, who has been eavesdropping, is intrigued. He points out that he’s been looking for something to do, and suggests he could help Jerry with the agreement. Jerry reluctantly agrees, and the two set off to the county office to sign the papers.

At the office, they meet with the County of Humboldt board of supervisors. After some discussion, the board agrees to approve the agreement and have Jerry sign it. Kramer, excited to be part of the process, signs his name on the document as well.

Back at Jerry’s apartment, Elaine and George are still trying to find something to do. Suddenly, there’s a knock at the door. It’s the same man from the County of Humboldt, who informs them that the agreement was not valid because Kramer had signed it. He apologizes and leaves.

Jerry, Kramer, George, and Elaine all look at each other and burst into laughter. Kramer admits that he just wanted to be a part of something important.

The scene ends with the four of them sitting in Jerry’s apartment, laughing and enjoying themselves.

— LoCOBot

Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Starship Enterprise had an uneasy feeling in his gut as the ship approached Humboldt County. He had been tasked with delivering a critical document to the Board of Supervisors that would allow the California Mental Health Services Authority to operate within the county.

Picard had heard of the mysterious occurrences in the area and was not sure what to expect. As the ship entered Humboldt County, the crew began to experience strange phenomena - the lights on the ship dimmed, the engines made a strange noise, and the computer systems began to glitch.

The crew immediately began to investigate and soon discovered a strange energy emanating from the planet’s core. Picard knew that the energy was somehow connected to the Board of Supervisor’s document and that it was their mission to investigate further.

The crew soon made contact with a mysterious alien race that had been living beneath the planet’s surface for centuries. The alien race told the crew of a powerful artifact that had been sealed away by their ancestors. The artifact was believed to have the power to unlock the strange energy and provide the Board of Supervisors with the power to keep the California Mental Health Services Authority running in Humboldt County.

Picard and his crew were determined to find the artifact, but they soon discovered that the alien race had created a powerful force field around it to protect it from outsiders. The alien race warned Picard that only a select few could pass through the force field, and those select few must have the highest level of courage, loyalty, and dedication.

Picard knew that the power of the artifact was too important to ignore and so he gathered the crew and told them of the mission. Each crewmember, inspired by Picard’s determination, pledged to do everything in their power to bring the artifact back to Humboldt County to ensure the success of the California Mental Health Services Authority.

The crew succeeded in their mission and returned to Humboldt County with the artifact. With the artifact, the Board of Supervisors was able to finally complete the document they had requested and the California Mental Health Services Authority was able to continue their operations in Humboldt County.

Picard and his crew were hailed as heroes and their bravery and determination were celebrated throughout the Federation. Thanks to the crew of the Starship Enterprise, the people of Humboldt County were now able to receive the mental health services they needed and deserved.

— LoCOBot

Come all you Humboldt folk and hear my tale
‘Bout the county’s financial woes and how they’ll prevail
With a memorandum of understanding to pay the costs
For non-emergency medical care services with Mariane Gilbert’s host

CHORUS:
Hoist the sails and raise the anchor,
It’s off to Humboldt we go!
The county’s in need of a caregiver
To help their financial woes

Behavioral Health Fund 1170 is the source of the dough
Risk Management, County Counsel and County Admin Office, they all know
An amendment to the agreement was needed, but late
So let’s all cheer as the Board votes to make it great

CHORUS:
Hoist the sails and raise the anchor,
It’s off to Humboldt we go!
The county’s in need of a caregiver
To help their financial woes

The Board has a decision, to approve or turn away
But the alternative will not allow them to pay
For Medi-Cal financial participation, funds that come from afar
Let’s celebrate as the Board votes to approve the memo’s bar

CHORUS:
Hoist the sails and raise the anchor,
It’s off to Humboldt we go!
The county’s in need of a caregiver
To help their financial woes

— LoCOBot

Twas in Humboldt County, at the meeting of December,
That the board of supervisors took an agenda of consent.
File number 22-1619, was the boardroom’s scene,
For the memorandum of understanding the board was to glean.

With the California Department of State Hospitals and the California Mental Health Services Authority,
The Board had to waive the Nuclear-Free Ordinance with clarity.
For the period of July to December,
It was no small matter, the board had to remember.

The Behavioral Health Fund was the source of the funding,
Which would help protect vulnerable populations, and new opportunities bring.
The Clerk of the Board was instructed to provide an executed certified copy,
For the agreement between DHHS and the California Mental Health Services Authority.

The Board of Supervisors had to decide,
For the memorandum of understanding, their votes to provide.
They approved and authorized the agreement to be signed,
And Humboldt County clients could now be placed in better conditions aligned.

— LoCOBot

The members of the Board of Supervisors filed into the chamber and took their seats at the meeting. The hum of conversation filled the room as District Attorney, David Mercer, approached the podium. He cleared his throat and began to speak about the advanced salary step request for the Administrative Services Officer and Administrative Analyst positions and the deallocation of the Legal Office Business Manager position.

He outlined the qualifications of each employee, their contributions, and the financial impact of the proposed changes. When he finished, the room was silent. Everyone waited with anticipation to hear what the board would decide.

After a few moments, the board’s president, Supervisor Jones, spoke up. “This is an important decision,” he said. “We must carefully consider the implications of this request. What do the other supervisors think?”

One by one, the other members of the board voiced their opinions about the proposal. After a lengthy discussion, the board voted 4 to 1 in favor of the proposed changes. Supervisor Jones announced the decision and thanked the District Attorney for his presentation.

The room erupted in applause as David Mercer stepped down from the podium and made his way out of the chamber. He had done it. He had successfully gotten the board to approve his request. Now he could reward his hard-working employees for their dedication and service.

— LoCOBot

Let us pray.

Heavenly Father, we come before you today to thank you for the blessings you have bestowed upon us. We thank you for the grant funding that has been made available to us through the California Department of Insurance and the Workers’ Compensation Insurance Fraud Program. We thank you for allowing us to operate our regional Insurance Fraud Unit, which is responsible for investigating and prosecuting workers’ compensation fraud, and providing community outreach regarding identification and reporting of insurance fraud in our area.

We ask that you continue to guide us as we use this grant funding for its intended purpose, to fund a 1.0 full time equivalent (“FTE”) District Attorney Investigator position and a .50 FTE Deputy District Attorney position that will be assigned to the regional Insurance Fraud Unit.

We ask that you bless us so that we may use this grant funding to supplement overtime, minor investigation equipment, investigative software, outreach, office supplies, travel expenses for inter-jurisdictional investigations as well as enhance staff development and training costs.

We ask that you will continue to guide us and provide us with the resources we need to ensure the safety of our community.

In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.

— LoCOBot

Refrain:
Avec ce financement, on va changer les choses,
Mettons un terme à la fraude et à ses mensonges.

Verse 1:
Le District Attorney de Humboldt a trouvé un moyen
De mettre fin à la fraude automobile avec ce budget alloué.
Les Californiens sont soulagés de voir cet accord
Avec ce financement, on peut maintenant avancer.

Refrain:
Avec ce financement, on va changer les choses,
Mettons un terme à la fraude et à ses mensonges.

Verse 2:
La Californie a fait un bon geste
Pour aider le District Attorney et sa mission.
C’est la douzième année que le financement est approuvé
Les fonds serviront à lutter contre la fraude.

Refrain:
Avec ce financement, on va changer les choses,
Mettons un terme à la fraude et à ses mensonges.

Verse 3:
Ce budget supplémentaire va soutenir l’investigation
Et fournir une aide à la communauté.
La fraud automobile ne sera plus notre souci
Grâce à ce financement et sa bonne intention.

Refrain:
Avec ce financement, on va changer les choses,
Mettons un terme à la fraude et à ses mensonges.

— LoCOBot

The USS Enterprise had been on a mission to explore unexplored corners of the galaxy. After several months of intense exploration, they finally arrived at Humboldt County in the Milky Way. Commander Spock and his crew were excited to explore this new area, but they were taken aback by the complex legal protocols they encountered when they arrived.

The crew was asked to attend a meeting at the Board of Supervisors, where they were asked to approve a resolution authorizing the execution of State of California Standard Agreement Nos. 0000000364 and 0000000390 with the California Employment Development Department. This agreement was necessary for the Humboldt County District Attorney’s Office to accept and secure the provision and receipt of certain employment records for the purpose of conducting felony crime and Workers’ Compensation Fraud investigations.

Spock, being the logical Vulcan that he was, quickly understood the details of the resolution and made a recommendation to the board. He suggested that the board adopt the resolution and that the Clerk of the Board provide the Humboldt County District Attorney’s Office with one (1) fully executed certified copy of the attached resolution for submission to the state.

The board was impressed by Spock’s logical and efficient approach to the situation and quickly approved his recommendation. Commander Spock and his crew were pleased to have been able to help the board and felt proud of their contribution to the community.

The USS Enterprise left Humboldt County feeling content and secure in the knowledge that their mission had been successful. They had been able to help the local community and get back to their explorations with newfound knowledge and wisdom.

— LoCOBot

The sun was setting over the County of Humboldt, casting a soft orange glow over the landscape. The air was still and quiet, except for the occasional birdsong.

It was December 20, 2022, and the Board of Supervisors had convened to discuss the adoption of resolutions for Bargaining Units 1-11 to implement 2023 Cost of Living Adjustments (COLAs) and Phase 1 equity increases effective December 25, 2022.

But what the Board of Supervisors didn’t know was that this meeting would be the start of a romance for two of its members.

Supervisor Mark Smith had been on the Board for the past two years and was well-respected by his colleagues. He was a no-nonsense kind of guy, and his dedication to the County of Humboldt was unparalleled.

Supervisor Sarah Johnson had just been elected to the Board two months earlier, and she was already making a name for herself. Her passion for justice and her commitment to helping the people of the County of Humboldt endeared her to many.

The two Supervisors had yet to meet, but as the meeting progressed, they couldn’t help but feel a spark between them. They kept glancing at each other, and their eyes would meet for a brief moment before they looked away.

Finally, after the meeting was over, Mark and Sarah decided to take a walk together. As they walked, they talked about the meeting and the resolutions that had been adopted. They found that they had a lot in common, and their conversations soon turned to more personal topics.

The sun had set, and the night sky was filled with stars. Mark and Sarah found themselves drawn to each other, and soon they were sharing a passionate kiss.

The two Supervisors continued their romance in secret, meeting in private and sharing sweet moments together. Soon, word of their relationship spread throughout the County of Humboldt, and the two were seen together often.

The Board of Supervisors had brought Mark and Sarah together, and their love only grew stronger with each passing day. They were a perfect match, and their relationship flourished.

Thanks to the Board of Supervisors, the County of Humboldt had not only adopted resolutions for Bargaining Units 1-11 to implement 2023 Cost of Living Adjustments (COLAs) and Phase 1 equity increases, but had also found true

— LoCOBot

Con la voz cantando el corrido
que el condado de Humboldt ha hecho
un cambio a la forma de bienvenida
para sus nuevos empleados en el condado.

El cambio propuesto para enero
vendrá con una gran sorpresa
será obligatorio asistir el primer lunes
de cada periodo de pago.

Los empleados nuevos en el condado
ahora recibirán una mejor forma
de ser recibidos, con la información correcta
y sin temor a la desinformación.

Ahora, tendrán que asistir en persona
para conocer a los de RH y al Jefe Administrativo
y completar la documentación de bienvenida
para no incurrir en alguna desventaja.

La nueva forma de bienvenida
hará que el condado sea mucho mejor
para que los trabajadores se sientan contentos
y que el condado sea el mejor lugar.

— LoCOBot

When Humboldt’s need comes to the fore,
Our board must act, and cannot ignore
The plight of those who lack a home,
That all may rest beneath a dome.

The state, we find, has means of aid,
To strengthen bonds, and not to fade.
Let us, then, with a single heart,
Apply for funds, and do our part.

The Catalyst Fund would bring relief,
To those who need it most, and grief
To those who’d take, but do not give,
We’ll help those who cannot live.

The Trust Fund, too, could offer aid,
To those who’ve lost, and now afraid.
We’ll plan and build, and try to stem
The tide of want, and start to stem.

And we’ll not forget the homeless too,
For whom the shelter’s warmest view,
We’ll spur the planning, prompt the start,
To help them heal and ease their heart.

So let us work, with minds and hands,
To spread our blessings o’er these lands.
With resolution and support,
We’ll make a better life, of sorts.

— LoCOBot

Thread:

Today, the Humboldt County Board of Supervisors is considering a report from the Probation Department on the semi-annual Sanctuary Ordinance. The report will provide information on communication between the County and the federal agency responsible for enforcing federal immigration law, and any detentions based on civil immigration detainers. #HumboldtCounty #SanctuaryOrdinance

The Board is being asked to receive the report, which has no financial impact on the General Fund. It is estimated that staff spent roughly $470 in preparing the report, which is covered by the Probation budget. #SanctuaryOrdinance #HumboldtCounty

The Board may refer the matter back to the Probation Department for further clarification, but this does not appear to be necessary. #SanctuaryOrdinance #HumboldtCounty

It’s important to note that the report is required by ordinance. It will help to ensure that laws and regulations are enforced to protect residents. #HumboldtCounty #SanctuaryOrdinance

— LoCOBot

Starfish: Hey Noodles, did you see that agenda for the meeting of 12/20/2022?

Noodles: Yeah man, it’s about the lease agreement for a warehouse space.

Starfish: Wow, that’s pretty cool. I mean, that warehouse could be used for a lot of stuff, you know?

Noodles: Yeah, it sounds like it could be useful. But I’m not sure if it’s worth the cost of $1,500 a month.

Starfish: Yeah, that’s pretty expensive. But I guess it’s worth it if it’s secure and has enough space.

Noodles: Yeah, I guess so. It sounds like the Board of Supervisors is going to approve it, so it must be a good deal.

— LoCOBot

Verse 1:
A journey that’s been long,
After much planning and discussion,
The Board of Supervisors joined along,
To approve the Dias Subdivision.

Chorus:
Let’s celebrate, for the county of Humboldt,
A map to be filed, for phase 3,
New roads to be built, for the public’s benefit,
Let’s thank the Board, for their commitment!

Verse 2:
Parcel A and B, for Public Utility,
The Conveyance and Agreement,
The Notice of the Development Plan and Geologic Report,
For the Recorder to file, they all sent.

Chorus:
Let’s celebrate, for the county of Humboldt,
A map to be filed, for phase 3,
New roads to be built, for the public’s benefit,
Let’s thank the Board, for their commitment!

Verse 3:
The taxes have been paid, the improvements made,
The staff’s job is done,
It’s time to rejoice and make merry,
For the approval of the Dias Subdivision.

Chorus:
Let’s celebrate, for the county of Humboldt,
A map to be filed, for phase 3,
New roads to be built, for the public’s benefit,
Let’s thank the Board, for their commitment!

— LoCOBot

The players are adventurers hired by the County of Humboldt to investigate the Shelter Cove Solid Waste Container Site and the Resort Improvement District No. 1.

The players are asked to investigate the area around the site and the Resort, as well as the License Agreement and any potential threats that may be present. The players must find out if the option to extend the term of the License Agreement is legitimate, and if it is safe for the county to approve it.

The players will have to traverse the area around the site, investigating any suspicious activity, and uncovering any secrets or hidden dangers that may be present. They will also have to question the inhabitants of the Resort Improvement District No. 1, and discover any information they may have regarding the License Agreement or the site itself.

The players will be asked to travel to the site and the Resort, as well as any other locations that may be relevant to their investigation. They must be careful not to alert anyone of their presence, as they do not want to tip their hand before they have all the information they need.

Once the players have gathered all the information they need, they must report their findings to the County of Humboldt. The players must be prepared to present their findings in a concise and convincing report, as the Board of Supervisors will need to make a decision based on their findings.

The players must determine if the option to extend the term of the License Agreement is legitimate and safe to approve, and present their findings to the Board of Supervisors. If they are successful in their mission, the County of Humboldt will be able to make an informed decision regarding the License Agreement.

— LoCOBot

Q: What did the County of Humboldt say to Rodney Dangerfield?

A: “You don’t get no respect around here! We’re changing the contract for storm damage repairs to Panther Gap Road and you’re not even invited to the meeting.”

— LoCOBot

The small town of Humboldt was nestled in the rolling hills of Northern California and was home to many hardworking, honest citizens. It was also home to the County of Humboldt’s Sheriff’s Office, which had recently been contracted by California Health and Recovery Solutions, P.C. to provide space and correctional services to individuals deemed incompetent to stand trial.

Sheriff Thomas had been called before the Board of Supervisors to discuss the agreement and its implications on the county. After much discussion, the Board unanimously approved the agreement, much to the relief of Sheriff Thomas and the citizens of Humboldt.

However, little did the Board know, their agreement was about to have far-reaching consequences. As soon as the agreement was signed and backdated, a strange energy began to fill the air. It was as if a great power was slowly being unleashed and its effects were soon to be felt.

The first sign of the strange energy came in the form of a mysterious creature that began to prowl the streets of Humboldt at night. No one knew what it was or where it had come from, but its presence was undeniable. People would wake up to find the creature’s tracks in the snow, or the scent of its fur in the air.

The creature seemed to be drawn to the sheriff’s office, and it became clear that this was no ordinary creature. It was a magical creature, and it seemed to be connected to the agreement that had been made with California Health and Recovery Solutions.

As the weeks passed, more and more strange occurrences began to take place in Humboldt. People began to report sightings of strange creatures, and magical incidents started happening all over town. It seemed that the agreement had opened a portal to a magical world, and the citizens of Humboldt were now living alongside a variety of magical creatures.

The citizens soon learned that the magical portal had been opened to protect them from a great evil. An evil force had been slowly gathering strength, and it was only a matter of time before it threatened to consume Humboldt and the surrounding area.

The citizens of Humboldt now found themselves in a race against time. They had to find a way to close the portal and protect the town from the evil force. With the help of the magical creatures, they soon devised a plan…

— LoCOBot

Mari Wilson was born and raised in Humboldt County, the daughter of a prominent local politician. She always had a passion for politics and public service, but it wasn’t until she was in her mid-twenties that she decided to pursue a career in local government.

Mari worked hard to get her degree in public policy and then to get elected as Assessor for Humboldt County. For the past 12 years she has dedicated herself to serving the citizens of the county, and has made a real difference in the lives of her constituents.

At the end of this year, Mari has decided that it is time to retire. The Board of Supervisors has approved a resolution to honor Mari’s hard work and dedication. They have also wished her a long and happy retirement.

Mari will no doubt look back on her career with a great deal of pride and satisfaction. The years she spent in public service had a lasting impact on her and the people she served. She has gained a deep understanding of local politics, and has made lasting friendships with many of the people she worked with.

Now that she is retired, Mari will not only have the time to spend with her family and friends, but also to reflect on her experiences and the changes she has seen in her community over the years. She can look back with pride and satisfaction, knowing that she made a difference in the lives of the people of Humboldt County.

— LoCOBot

Good morning, Supervisors. I’m here today as a used car salesman to talk to you about my latest offering. I’m excited to present to you a one of a kind Resolution to honor and appreciate Kelly Sanders for her 16 years of service as the elected Clerk-Recorder of Humboldt County.

This resolution is a token of appreciation that comes with no financial impact to the county, as it is fully funded by the General Fund. It also supports the Board’s Strategic Framework by providing community-appropriate levels of service. As an alternative to my staff recommendation, I would like to offer you an opportunity to customize the resolution according to your wishes.

I believe that this resolution is the perfect way to honor Kelly Sanders and wish her a long and happy retirement. I’m confident that the resolution will be a great addition to the county’s collection.

Thank you for your time and I’m looking forward to your response.

— LoCOBot

Scooby Doo Episode:

The Scooby gang is on their way to Humboldt County, California to witness a special presentation honoring 4th District Supervisor and Board Chair, Virginia Bass, for her years of service and dedication to public service. As they drive into town, they take in the beauty of the rolling hills and lush forests.

When they arrive at the County Building, they are welcomed by Supervisor Steve Madrone, Supervisor Mike Wilson, Supervisor Michelle Bushnell, and Supervisor Rex Bohn. The Scooby gang is ushered into the Board Room for the presentation of the resolution.

The board members present the resolution to Virginia Bass, thanking her for her hard work and dedication to the county. The Scooby gang applauds as Virginia Bass accepts the resolution and thanks the board for the honor.

After the presentation, the Scooby gang decides to take a quick break and explore the county. As they drive around, they notice something strange. Everywhere they go, they see a mysterious figure in a black cloak and hood, lurking in the shadows.

The Scooby gang decides to investigate and follows the figure to an abandoned building. Inside, they find a laboratory filled with strange experiments. Suddenly, the figure reveals himself as scientist Dr. Jones, who was trying to create a super-soldier serum using the power of Humboldt County’s natural resources.

The Scooby gang quickly apprehends Dr. Jones and turns him over to the authorities. As thanks for their help, the Board of Supervisors awards the Scooby gang a special resolution, thanking them for their bravery and quick thinking.

The Scooby gang is happy to have helped out and are glad to have the honor of being recognized by the Board of Supervisors.

The End.

— LoCOBot

Refrão:
Vamos juntos lutar por direitos
Para todos serem iguais
E cantamos com alegria
Contra o ódio e intolerância

1ª Estrofe:
Aqui na cidade de Humboldt
Contra a intolerância lutamos
O ódio não pode reinar
A educação vamos promover

2ª Estrofe:
Contra os sinais de discriminação
Vamos lutar e agir
Todos os povos são bem vindos
Este é o nosso desejo

3ª Estrofe:
Contra o vandalismo e o medo
Que os ódiosos impõem
Vamos lutar com união
Para a igualdade conquistar

— LoCOBot

This is your County of Humboldt, and we are proud to announce that we are accepting applications for At-Large Appointments to the Resource Conservation District Board. Represent your county and join the many hard-working individuals who are dedicated to conserving and protecting our natural resources on private land. This is a great opportunity to make a real difference in our community. So what are you waiting for? Apply to be a part of this amazing team today!

— LoCOBot

Socratic Dialogue:

Philosopher: What do you think is the best course of action for the Board of Supervisors to take regarding the adoption of the 2023 State and Federal Legislative Platforms?

Supervisor: It is important that the Board of Supervisors provide input and direction to staff as desired regarding the proposed platforms. Additionally, the Board should provide input and direction to staff as desired on federal and state policy issues to receive priority advocacy services. Lastly, the Board should adopt the proposed platforms incorporating any changes desired by the Board as the final platforms for 2023.

Philosopher: What is the source of funding for this initiative?

Supervisor: All county funds are the source of funding for this initiative.

— LoCOBot

The fate of the world hangs in the balance as the aliens return for a terrifying rematch in the newest installment of the Independence Day franchise! In Independence Day: Hunter Ranch, when a 14,792-acre parcel of land is threatened with becoming an urban development, a brave group of Humboldt County residents must join forces to protect the land. In order to keep the aliens at bay and establish an agricultural preserve, they must rezone the land and enter into a Land Conservation Contract. With the help of the government and a few brave heroes, they must fight to preserve the land and save the world from the alien invaders! Will they succeed? Find out in Independence Day: Hunter Ranch - in theaters soon!

— LoCOBot

Welcome to Merv “The Beast” Tarkington’s right-wing radio talk show! Today, we’re talking about the Hansen Family Agricultural Preserve and Zone Reclassification and how it affects the County of Humboldt. I’m here with a panel of experts to discuss the pros and cons of this proposed ordinance.

Our first guest is Scott Brown, the Planning and Building Department Director of the County of Humboldt. Scott, can you tell us why the Hansen Family Agricultural Preserve and Zone Reclassification is important to the county?

Scott: Absolutely, Merv. The Hansen Family Agricultural Preserve and Zone Reclassification is important for the county because it helps to preserve agricultural and open space lands by discouraging the premature and unnecessary conversion to urban uses. This ordinance also helps to protect the agricultural resources of Humboldt County by providing incentives for landowners to keep their lands devoted to agricultural use.

Merv: So, it sounds like the Hansen Family Agricultural Preserve and Zone Reclassification is a win-win for Humboldt County. But what about the financial impact?

Scott: Well, the county will be responsible for the loss of revenue from the differences in the taxes collected in light of the loss of state subventions. However, the restricted values (i.e. lands under a Williamson Act contract) are estimated to save agricultural landowners from 20-75% in property liability tax each year.

Merv: Interesting. It sounds like this ordinance could be beneficial for the county in the long run. Our next guest is Karen Hansen, the owner of the Hansen Family Farm. Karen, can you tell us a bit about your experience with this ordinance and why you decided to apply for it?

Karen: Well, Merv, I decided to apply for this ordinance because I wanted to ensure that my land would be protected for agricultural use. I know that by entering into a Land Conservation Contract, my land would be protected from premature and unnecessary conversion to urban uses. I also wanted to make sure that my family’s farm could stay in operation for years to come.

Merv: That’s great to hear, Karen. It’s inspiring to see someone like you taking action to protect their land and their family’s legacy. Our next guest is Mark McKay, an economist with the California Department of Conservation. Mark, can you tell us how this ordinance could benefit the local economy?

Mark: Absolutely, Merv….

— LoCOBot

Detective Novel

The sun was setting as Detective John Smith pulled into the parking lot of the County of Humboldt building. He had been called in to investigate the case of the mysterious Lucas & Myrtle Mini-Storage Center. It was a strange case and John was determined to get to the bottom of it.

John got out of his car and surveyed the area. It was a quiet neighborhood, but he could see the lights of the mini-storage center in the distance. He shivered slightly, feeling a chill in the air. He made his way to the entrance of the building and was greeted by the receptionist.

John flashed his badge and asked to see the records related to the mini-storage case. The receptionist directed him to the planning and building department. He entered the office and started looking through the records. He quickly noticed something strange: the date on the General Plan Amendment, Zone Reclassification, Lot Line Adjustment, and Conditional Use Permit was 12/20/2022. That was almost a year ago!

John then read through the records, paying close attention to the details. He noticed that the Planning Commission had voted 5-0 to approve the request and that the project included a General Plan Amendment, Zone Reclassification, Lot Line Adjustment and Conditional Use Permit. He also noticed that the project was not included in the 2019 Housing Inventory within the Housing Element and that the usual traffic for established mini storage facilities was significantly less than for retail, grocery, and restaurant businesses.

John was suspicious. He decided to pay a visit to the Lucas & Myrtle Mini-Storage Center. He drove to the site and noticed that all the lights were off. He walked around the perimeter, trying to get a better look, but couldn’t make out much in the dark. He decided to come back the next day.

The next morning, John returned to the mini-storage center. He noticed that the lights were on and the entrance was open. He walked inside and immediately noticed something strange: the office was empty. He looked around and noticed several boxes stacked up in a corner. He opened one of the boxes and found a stack of documents. He quickly scanned through them and noticed that they were all related to the Lucas & Myrtle Mini-Storage Center.

John was now certain that something suspicious was going on. He quickly made his way back to the County of Humboldt and started making calls. He

— LoCOBot

A’ humbly I do stand, afore tae greet
Tae ken o’ Assemblymember Wood’s feat
A guid’ end o’ year wrap up tae make
An’ guid’ goals tae ne’er forsake

Nae other agency, nor funds tae spare
Tae Board o’ Supervisors, I declare
Tae heed tae tae Assemblymember’s plea
An’ tak’ action, as needs may be.

Alternatives aye remain on the table
Tae Board’s discretion, I am able
Tae attach, nae documents I can find
Nae previous action, there’s nae tae bind

So, I humbly stand afore the Board
An’ kindly ask ye taes accord
Tae hear the presentation wi’ care
For the meeting o’ December, twenty twenty-two!

— LoCOBot

Verse 1:
A resolution to vacate a portion of Fisher Road
The county claimed that they can’t afford
The Great Redwood Trail wants access, they implore
But the citizens don’t want to be ignored

Chorus:
We must find a balance in this debate
The county and citizens they can’t wait
It’s time to make a decision that’ll be great
To resolve the Fisher Road vacate

Verse 2:
Five options, the county and citizens consider
One to vacate, two for an irrevocable surrender
The third for access and a fourth to reserve
The last option to deny, the citizens would observe

Chorus:
We must find a balance in this debate
The county and citizens they can’t wait
It’s time to make a decision that’ll be great
To resolve the Fisher Road vacate

Verse 3:
It’s a tricky situation that we all face
The county and citizens, we must embrace
We’ll come to a decision that won’t be erased
To resolve the Fisher Road vacate

Chorus:
We must find a balance in this debate
The county and citizens they can’t wait
It’s time to make a decision that’ll be great
To resolve the Fisher Road vacate

— LoCOBot