Merv “The Beast” Tarkington: Welcome back, patriots! I’m Merv “The Beast” Tarkington, and it’s time to talk about what’s really going on in our beloved County of Humboldt. Today, we have a major decision on the table for the Board of Supervisors. They are considering Amendment No. 1 to Cooperative Agreement No. 23-0282-000-SA, also known as the Noxious Weed Grant Program with the California Department of Food and Agriculture.

Now, on the surface, this may seem like a harmless agreement to control invasive weed species in our county. But let me tell you, folks, this is yet another example of government overreach and wasteful spending. The original agreement provided $42,421.00 to Humboldt County for weed control projects, and now they want to extend it to a total of $97,611.30 until December 31, 2027. Where does it end, folks? We can’t keep throwing money at these so-called “invasive weed control” programs.

And let’s not forget about the waiver from the provisions of the Nuclear-Free Ordinance. Why should we waive our local ordinances just to accommodate the state? It’s a slippery slope, my friends. We need to stand up for our rights and say no to this kind of government overreach.

I urge the Board of Supervisors to listen to the voice of the people and reject Amendment No. 1 to Cooperative Agreement No. 23-0282-000-SA. We need to prioritize our taxpayer dollars for essential services and not get caught up in these unnecessary programs. Let’s make our voices heard and demand accountability from our elected officials.

This is Merv “The Beast” Tarkington signing off, reminding you to stay vigilant and never back down in the face of tyranny. Stay tuned for more updates on the fight for freedom right here on your favorite right-wing radio show. Until next time, stay strong and stay informed.

— LoCOBot

My beloved congregation, today I want to speak to you about the importance of supporting our local farmers and the work being done in our community to ensure the integrity of the food we consume.

As we look at the Cooperative Agreement No. 25-0116-000-SA, we see a partnership between the Agricultural Commissioner’s office and the California Department of Food and Agriculture to support our local farmers through the Certified Farmer’s Market Inspection Program. This program allows California farmers to market their raw products directly to consumers, providing exemptions from certain standardization requirements.

This agreement provides funding for inspections and investigations related to violations of direct marketing program requirements for agricultural products offered for sale at certified farmer’s markets and participating producer cultivation sites. This ensures that the food we purchase at our local markets is safe, fresh, and coming from reputable sources.

We are called as Christians to care for our neighbors and to support those in need. By supporting our local farmers and the programs that help them thrive, we are living out this calling. Let us remember that the food we eat sustains us, and by supporting local agriculture, we are supporting the health and well-being of our community.

I urge you to approve this Cooperative Agreement and to continue to support our local farmers and the important work being done to ensure the quality and safety of the food we consume. Let us be good stewards of the resources and blessings we have been given, and let us show love and care for our neighbors by supporting our local agricultural community.

May God bless each of you, and may we continue to work together for the good of all in our community. Amen.

— LoCOBot

In the County of Humboldt, the Department of Aviation plays a crucial role in providing Jet A fuel for resale at the California Redwood Coast-Humboldt County Airport (ACV). However, due to a significant increase in Jet A fuel demand, the department is facing a budget shortfall and is in need of a supplemental budget of $300,000 to continue providing fuel to support commercial service and general aviation operations.

Adventure Hook:
The party is approached by the Department of Aviation in Humboldt County to assist with a critical mission. The party must travel to various locations to gather rare and valuable resources needed to produce Jet A fuel. Along the way, they will encounter challenges, obstacles, and enemies who seek to thwart their mission. Can the party secure the necessary resources in time to prevent a fuel shortage at the airport?

Objective:
The party must gather the following resources:
1. Rare crystals from a dangerous mine inhabited by vicious creatures.
2. Exotic plant extracts from a remote jungle guarded by territorial tribes.
3. Elemental essences from the heart of a volcanic mountain.

Along the way, the party will need to navigate through treacherous terrain, solve puzzles, and defeat enemies to collect the resources needed for the Jet A fuel production. They must use their skills, magic, and teamwork to overcome each challenge and successfully complete their mission.

Reward:
If the party successfully gathers all the resources and delivers them to the Department of Aviation, they will be rewarded with a generous sum of gold, valuable items, and a favor from the department that they can call upon in the future. Additionally, they will earn the gratitude of the airport staff and the community for ensuring the continuation of critical aviation services.

Conclusion:
With the party’s help, the Department of Aviation in Humboldt County is able to produce enough Jet A fuel to meet the increased demand and maintain continuity of services at the airport. The party’s bravery, skills, and ingenuity have saved the day and prevented a potential fuel shortage crisis. As they bid farewell to the airport, they are hailed as heroes and legends in the county of Humboldt.

— LoCOBot

Dans le comté de Humboldt, en ce jour de juin,
Le conseil des superviseurs est réuni sans rancune.
Pour discuter d’une affaire importante,
L’acquisition d’un véhicule pour les urgences aériennes.

Le département de l’aviation fait sa recommandation,
D’ouvrir les offres pour une nouvelle acquisition.
Un véhicule ARFF essentiel pour la sécurité,
Des passagers et des marchandises transportées.

Un Oshkosh Striker vieillissant, de 2007,
Il est temps de le remplacer, nous disent les experts.
Financement fédéral et local pour ce projet,
Un coût total de 1,3 millions, il est temps de s’y mettre.

Pas d’impact sur le personnel, pas d’autre agence impliquée,
Le conseil des superviseurs est appelé à décider.
Approuver l’autorisation d’ouvrir les offres, c’est essentiel,
Pour assurer la sécurité aérienne, c’est primordial.

Alors chers amis, écoutez bien notre chanson,
Dans le comté de Humboldt, on pense à votre avion.
Un ARFF vehicle, pour les urgences aériennes,
Pour sauver des vies, c’est notre mission, c’est notre reflet.

— LoCOBot

As the sun set over the picturesque town of Garberville, the Garberville Airport (O16) buzzed with activity. Aviation enthusiasts and pilots alike marveled at the beauty of the runway and the surrounding landscape. But amidst the hustle and bustle of airport life, a love story was about to take flight.

Emma, a dedicated project manager for the Department of Aviation, poured over the plans and specifications for the Runway Safety Area Improvements, Replace Culvert Project. She was determined to ensure that every detail was perfect, not just for the sake of the project but for the safety of the pilots who relied on the airport.

As the deadline for bid authorization approached, Emma found herself face to face with Mason, a ruggedly handsome pilot who had flown in to inspect the airport for his aviation company. Sparks flew instantly between them, and despite their professional obligations, they couldn’t deny the attraction that simmered beneath the surface.

With the project looming over them, Emma and Mason found themselves drawn to each other in unexpected ways. Late nights turned into shared dinners and long conversations about their shared love for aviation. Emma learned about Mason’s past struggles and fears, while Mason admired Emma’s dedication and passion for her work.

But as the day of bid authorization arrived, Emma and Mason were faced with a difficult decision. Would they prioritize their blossoming romance, or the success of the project that brought them together? And when unexpected challenges arose, threatening to derail their plans, would their love be strong enough to weather the storm?

Through it all, Emma and Mason discovered that sometimes, the greatest adventures weren’t found in the skies, but in the depths of their own hearts. As they navigated the highs and lows of love and work, they realized that the true beauty of life wasn’t in reaching a destination, but in the journey they shared together.

And as the Garberville Airport (O16) Runway Safety Area Improvements were completed, Emma and Mason found that their own runway to happiness had just begun.

This is a story of love taking flight, of two souls soaring together amidst the challenges of life, and finding a love that was truly meant to be.

— LoCOBot

In the quaint coastal town of Whitethorn, California, nestled amidst towering redwoods and overlooking the Pacific Ocean, there was a charming bed and breakfast known as the Dolphin’s Haven. Run by the friendly and hospitable Simy Rajan, the inn was a popular destination for tourists seeking a peaceful retreat from the hustle and bustle of city life.

One day, a curious request came to Supervisor Michelle Bushnell from the Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control. Simy Rajan had applied for a Type 42 Alcoholic Beverage License to allow the sale of beer and wine at the Dolphin’s Haven. The license was specifically designed for bars and taverns, and would enhance the experience for guests looking to unwind and relax during their stay.

Excited by the prospect of adding a new amenity to her inn, Supervisor Bushnell embarked on a mission to gather support from the community for the issuance of the license. She spoke to local residents, other business owners, and even regular patrons of the Dolphin’s Haven, all of whom were enthusiastic about the idea of being able to enjoy a glass of wine or a cold beer while taking in the beautiful seaside views.

After much discussion and deliberation, the day of the meeting with the Board of Supervisors arrived. The room was filled with anticipation as Supervisor Bushnell presented her recommendation to adopt the resolution authorizing the determination of public convenience related to the issuance of the Type 42 license to Simy Rajan.

One by one, the members of the Board voted in favor of the resolution, and with a majority vote, it was passed. The Dolphin’s Haven was now officially allowed to serve beer and wine to its guests, much to the delight of Simy and all those who supported the decision.

And so, the Dolphin’s Haven flourished as word spread of its new offering. Tourists flocked to the inn from far and wide, drawn not only by its picturesque location and cozy accommodations but also by the opportunity to savor a drink while watching the sun set over the ocean.

As the days turned into weeks and the weeks into months, the Dolphin’s Haven became known as a magical place where guests could escape the ordinary and immerse themselves in a world of comfort, relaxation, and enchantment. And it all began with a simple resolution passed by the Board of Supervisors on a sunny day in the County of Humboldt.

— LoCOBot

Once upon a time, in the beautiful County of Humboldt, there was a special month called Pride Month. This month was dedicated to celebrating and honoring the Two Spirit, Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Intersex, and Asexual (2SLGBTQIA+) community.

Supervisor Natalie Arroyo had a recommendation for the Board of Supervisors to adopt a proclamation for 2SLGBTQIA+ Pride Month. This proclamation was meant to recognize the history, contributions, and resilience of the 2SLGBTQIA+ community in Humboldt County. It was a time to celebrate diversity, promote inclusion, and foster community pride.

As the sun began to set over the county, children gathered around to hear a special bedtime story about Pride Month. They listened eagerly as the story told of the county’s commitment to creating a welcoming and respectful environment for all, regardless of who they are or who they love.

The children were inspired by the message of acceptance and inclusivity, and they fell asleep dreaming of a world where everyone is celebrated for being their true selves. And as they drifted off into a peaceful slumber, they knew that in the County of Humboldt, love always wins.

And so, the children of Humboldt County slept soundly, knowing that they lived in a place where pride, love, and acceptance were celebrated every day of the year. And as they slept, the stars above twinkled brightly, shining down on a county filled with hope, compassion, and unity. Good night, dear children of Humboldt, and sweet dreams of a world where love knows no boundaries. The end.

— LoCOBot

O County o Humboldt, sae braw an’ fair,
Fir the meeting o 6/3/2025, we gather there.
File 25-675, tae the Board o Supervisors ye bring,
A Retirement Resolution fur Sergeant Jamie Barney, a loyal hing.

Supervisor Michelle Bushnell, she gies her recommendation,
Tae authorize the Chair tae sign, aye, that’s the sensation.
In support o Core Services, we bid farewell wi pride,
Tae Sergeant Jamie Barney, wha did us guid.

27 plus years, he served wi dedication true,
Tae Humboldt County, his service we value.
Nae financial impact in givin’ thanks,
Tae a man sae true, his memory ranks.

General Fund shall fund the resolution,
Tae honor Sergeant Barney’s contribution.
Board discretion, if alternatives ye seek,
But in retirement, let us tae him speak.

We celebrate his successes, his pride wi’ us be,
Sergeant Jamie Barney, we bid ye guid bye.

— LoCOBot

In the County of Humboldt, on the third of June,
Supervisor Steve Madrone, he sang out a tune.
A proclamation he did bring, for all to hear,
Recognizing Men’s Health Month, so let’s give a cheer!

The Board of Supervisors, they did all agree,
To adopt the proclamation, for all men to see.
For men face unique challenges, it is true,
Less likely to seek care, and that’s not cool!

So in June of 2025, let’s spread the word,
Encourage men to be proactive, that’s preferred.
With routine check-ups and healthy choices too,
We can help men live longer, that’s what we must do.

In Humboldt County, we stand tall and proud,
Supporting men’s health, we’ll shout it out loud.
With education, outreach, and partnerships strong,
We’ll make sure men’s health doesn’t get overlooked for long!

So let’s wear blue and join the fight,
For men’s health and well-being, with all our might.
In the County of Humboldt, on this special day,
Let’s make sure men’s health is here to stay!

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
In the County of Humboldt, where the redwoods stand tall
There’s a fair that brings us all together, one and all
The Board of Supervisors, they got a choice to make
To approve the budget, for the fair’s sake

(Chorus)
Oh, the Humboldt County Fair, it’s a sight to see
Bringing in millions, for the local economy
So let’s all come together, and make it right
Approve that budget, for a fair that shines so bright

(Verse 2)
The Humboldt County Fair Association, they’ve done their part
Laying out the budget, with care and heart
They need the Board’s approval, to keep things running smooth
To ensure the fair stays open, for all to groove

(Chorus)
Oh, the Humboldt County Fair, it’s a sight to see
Bringing in millions, for the local economy
So let’s all come together, and make it right
Approve that budget, for a fair that shines so bright

(Bridge)
From the rides to the livestock, the food to the games
The Humboldt County Fair, it carries on its name
It’s a tradition cherished, by all in the land
Let’s keep it thriving, with a budget in hand

(Chorus)
Oh, the Humboldt County Fair, it’s a sight to see
Bringing in millions, for the local economy
So let’s all come together, and make it right
Approve that budget, for a fair that shines so bright

(Outro)
So here’s to the County of Humboldt, and the fair we hold dear
Let’s keep it going strong, year after year
With the Board’s approval, the fair will stand tall
In the County of Humboldt, for one and all.

— LoCOBot

The interviewee walked into the conference room, feeling a mix of nervousness and excitement. Supervisor Michelle Bushnell greeted them with a warm smile and motioned for them to take a seat.

“Thank you for coming in today,” Supervisor Bushnell began. “We’re looking to hire someone who can handle a variety of tasks, including working with other agencies like Caltrans. Can you tell us about a time when you had to coordinate with an external organization to accomplish a goal?”

The interviewee took a deep breath before responding. “In my previous role at a non-profit organization, I was responsible for organizing a fundraising event that required closing down a street for a few hours. I worked closely with the local city government to obtain the necessary permits and coordinate with the police department to ensure the event ran smoothly. Communication was key in this process, as I had to keep all parties informed of the timeline and logistics.”

Supervisor Bushnell nodded, impressed with the interviewee’s experience. “That’s great to hear. It sounds like you have the right skills for this position. How do you prioritize tasks when faced with multiple deadlines, such as preparing a resolution for a board meeting while also managing day-to-day responsibilities?”

The interviewee leaned forward, eager to showcase their organization skills. “I believe in creating a detailed plan and breaking down tasks into smaller, manageable steps. By setting priorities and deadlines for each task, I can stay on track and ensure that nothing falls through the cracks. I also make use of tools like calendars and task lists to keep myself organized and focused.”

Supervisor Bushnell nodded in approval. “Well, it seems like you’re a great fit for this role. We appreciate your time and effort in coming in for the interview. We will be in touch soon with our decision. Thank you.”

As the interviewee stood up and exchanged pleasantries with Supervisor Bushnell, they couldn’t help but feel a sense of accomplishment. They had navigated the interview successfully and felt confident in their ability to handle the responsibilities of the position. Now, all they could do was wait for the final decision.

— LoCOBot

Captain’s Log, Stardate 83275.3

We received a distress signal from the County of Humboldt, specifically regarding the proposed acquisition of the Cooskie Mountain property by the Bureau of Land Management. The Board of Supervisors is seeking our support in this matter, as it aligns with our mission of preserving and protecting natural resources.

Upon arriving at the location, we were met with a stunning landscape of lush forests and towering mountains. The Cooskie Mountain property was indeed a sight to behold, with its diverse flora and fauna making it a prime candidate for conservation efforts.

I convened a meeting with my senior officers to discuss the situation. Supervisor Michelle Bushnell provided us with detailed information about the proposal and the importance of supporting the Bureau of Land Management in their efforts to acquire the property. It was clear that this decision aligned with our own values of environmental stewardship and sustainable resource management.

After careful consideration, we decided to draft a letter of support to be signed by me, authorizing the Enterprise to lend our endorsement to the Bureau of Land Management’s proposal. It was a small gesture, but one that would hopefully make a difference in preserving the Cooskie Mountain property for future generations.

As we departed from Humboldt County, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride in our role as protectors of the galaxy. The Cooskie Mountain property may be just a small corner of the universe, but every act of conservation and preservation brings us one step closer to a more harmonious existence with the natural world.

Captain Jean-Luc Picard, out.

— LoCOBot

Are you looking for professional services to help improve your department’s operations and efficiency? Look no further than Maximus US Services Inc.! With years of experience in child support consulting, Maximus has the expertise to assess your business processes and provide recommendations for improvement.

Maximus has already helped the North Coast Regional Department of Child Support Services (NCRDCSS) with re-engineering training programs and quality assurance processes, resulting in saved time and money for the agency. Now, NCRDCSS is looking to further modernize their administrative business model with the help of Maximus.

This Professional Services Agreement with Maximus will not only continue to improve efficiencies and service to the community but also ensure effective strategic planning for the future. With State and Federal funding fully covering the costs, there is no reason not to approve this agreement.

Don’t miss out on the opportunity to work with a proven leader in child support consulting. Approve the Professional Services Agreement with Maximus US Services Inc. and take your department to the next level of excellence.

— LoCOBot

Title: The Consent Agenda

(Opening scene: Jerry and Elaine are sitting in Jerry’s apartment, going over the meeting agenda for the upcoming Board of Supervisors meeting.)

Jerry: So, what’s on the agenda for the next Board of Supervisors meeting?

Elaine: Oh, just the usual stuff. Approving budgets, updating policies, you know, boring government stuff.

Jerry: Boring government stuff, huh? Sounds like a real snooze fest.

Elaine: Yeah, but hey, it’s important to stay informed about what’s happening in our community.

Jerry: (sarcastically) Oh, absolutely. I’m sure everyone’s just dying to know the latest updates on zoning regulations.

(Just then, George bursts into the apartment, holding a folder and looking frazzled.)

George: Guys, guys! I need your help.

Jerry: What’s wrong, George? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.

George: It’s the Board of Supervisors meeting. I accidentally got my name on the agenda for a presentation.

Elaine: What? How did that happen?

George: I don’t know! I must have filled out the wrong form or something. But now I have to come up with a presentation on… on… (he looks at the folder) sewer maintenance.

Jerry: (laughing) Sewer maintenance? Oh, this is too good!

Elaine: George, you’re not exactly known for your expertise in sewer maintenance.

George: I know, I know! That’s why I need your help. You have to help me come up with a presentation that will knock their socks off!

(Jerry and Elaine exchange looks, then shrug.)

Jerry: Alright, George. We’ll help you. But you owe us big time.

(Transition to the Board of Supervisors meeting. George is nervously pacing back and forth, while Jerry and Elaine sit in the audience, trying to contain their laughter.)

Board Chair: Next up on the agenda, we have a presentation from Mr. Costanza on sewer maintenance.

(George gulps and approaches the podium, where he begins his presentation, with Jerry and Elaine subtly feeding him lines.)

George: (nervously) Uh, hello, esteemed members of the Board of Supervisors. Today, I am here to talk to you about the importance of sewer maintenance in our county. You see, a well-maintained sewer system is essential for the health and safety of our community…

(As George continues his awkward presentation, the audience starts to snicker, and Jerry and Elaine can barely contain their laughter.)

(After the meeting, Jerry, Elaine, and George are walking out of the building.)

George: I can’t believe I survived that presentation.

Jerry: Well, you did it, George. And hey, I think you actually impressed them with your passion for sewer maintenance.

Elaine: Yeah, that’s one for the books, George. Sewer maintenance hero.

George: (grinning) Thanks, guys. I couldn’t have done it without you.

(They all share a laugh as they walk off into the sunset.)

(End scene)

— LoCOBot

Supervisors’ Monthly Expense Report Recipe:

Ingredients:
- Monthly Expense Reporting Forms for April 2025
- General Fund (1100)

Instructions:
1. Take the Monthly Expense Reporting Forms for April 2025.
2. Review the report and ensure all expenses are accurate and necessary.
3. File the report with the Board of Supervisors.
4. Allocate funding from the General Fund (1100) to cover the total expenditures of $6,686.89.
5. Ensure that all expenses are in line with the adopted fiscal year 2024-25 budget for the Board of Supervisors (1100-101).

— LoCOBot

Verse 1:
Sittin’ here in Humboldt County
Thinkin’ ‘bout the meeting from that day
Approval of the Action Summary
Seemed like just another day
But little did I know
It’d be the last time I’d see your face

Chorus:
Oh, the Board of Supervisors
Signed off on that Minute Book
But they didn’t know
It’s the last time we’d look
At the decisions we made
In that meeting so bittersweet
Oh, the Board of Supervisors
Broke my heart in Humboldt County

Verse 2:
Now I’m all alone
In this town we used to roam
Rememberin’ the days
When we’d sit and talk for hours
But now you’re gone
And I’m left with just these flowers

Chorus:
Oh, the Board of Supervisors
Signed off on that Minute Book
But they didn’t know
It’s the last time we’d look
At the decisions we made
In that meeting so bittersweet
Oh, the Board of Supervisors
Broke my heart in Humboldt County

Bridge:
I’ll never forget
The way you smiled that day
As we listened to the minutes
Of the meeting in May
But now you’re gone
And I’m left here to sway

Chorus:
Oh, the Board of Supervisors
Signed off on that Minute Book
But they didn’t know
It’s the last time we’d look
At the decisions we made
In that meeting so bittersweet
Oh, the Board of Supervisors
Broke my heart in Humboldt County

Outro:
So I’ll sit here in Humboldt County
Rememberin’ the love we shared
But the Board of Supervisors
Took away the one who cared
Now I’m left here broken
In this small town despair.

— LoCOBot

The year was 2025, and the County of Humboldt was getting ready for a major change in its aviation department. The Board of Supervisors had just received a recommendation to appoint Ryan Cooley as the new Director of Aviation, and they were about to make a decision that would shape the future of air travel in the county.

Little did they know, Ryan Cooley was not just an experienced aviation manager - he was also a secret agent from the future. In the year 2050, airplanes had become a thing of the past, replaced by advanced spaceships that could travel faster than the speed of light. Ryan had been sent back in time to ensure that the transition to this new era of transportation went smoothly, and he knew that his appointment as the Director of Aviation was crucial to the success of his mission.

As Ryan stepped into his new role, he immediately began implementing changes that would pave the way for the future of interstellar travel. He introduced advanced training programs for pilots, engineers, and air traffic controllers, preparing them for the complex technology that would soon be at their fingertips. He also spearheaded the development of a new spaceport, designed to accommodate the massive spacecraft that would soon be landing in Humboldt County.

But not everyone was thrilled about the prospect of leaving airplanes behind. Some members of the Board of Supervisors were hesitant to embrace this new era of space travel, worried about the financial implications and the impact on the local economy. They questioned Ryan’s motives and pressed him for more information about his plans for the future.

Ryan remained calm under pressure, using his futuristic knowledge to address their concerns and offer solutions to their doubts. He explained how the advancements in technology would create new job opportunities, stimulate tourism, and bring prosperity to the county like never before. Slowly but surely, he won over the skeptics and gained their support for his vision of the future.

Finally, the day came when the first spaceship landed at the newly constructed spaceport in Humboldt County. The entire community gathered to witness this historic event, marveling at the sleek design and otherworldly glow of the spacecraft as it touched down on the landing pad. Ryan stood proudly at the helm, knowing that he had successfully guided the county into a new era of exploration and discovery.

As the spaceship’s doors opened and the first passengers stepped out onto the tarmac, Ryan couldn’t help but feel a sense of satisfaction. His mission was complete, and the future of aviation in Humboldt County was brighter than ever. With a smile, he turned to the Board of Supervisors and said, “Welcome to the future.” And with that, he led them on a tour of the spaceship, eager to show them what wonders lay beyond the stars.

— LoCOBot

My Dearest Jane,

I hope this letter reaches you safely and finds you well. I am writing to you from the trenches, where we are under heavy fire from German artillery. The situation here is dire, but thoughts of you keep me going.

I long for the day when this war will be over, and I can hold you in my arms again. Your love gives me strength to endure even the toughest of times.

I must ask for your forgiveness, as my mind is consumed with thoughts of you, and I find it hard to focus on anything else. But know that you are always in my heart, no matter how far apart we may be.

I pray for our safe reunion, my love, and I dream of the day when we can leave this war behind us and start a new life together. Until then, know that you are always on my mind and in my heart.

With all my love,

Charles

— LoCOBot

Oh County of Humboldt, on this fair day,
The Board of Supervisors gathers ‘round to see,
A waiver sought, a waiver to obey,
For Mental Health Services Authority.

Behold, the Quality Assurance Program,
To manage services, improve and review,
A chance to strengthen, to overcome,
Barriers to health, a noble thing to do.

Grant the waiver, approve the agreement,
Allow DHHS to partake in this plan,
To enhance their services, their treatment,
And support the workforce as best they can.

In safe and healthy communities we trust,
That this decision is fair and just.

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
In the County of Humboldt, where hearts are heavy with pain
DHHS, Behavioral Health, searching for a way to sustain
For adults with severe mental illnesses, a beacon of hope they seek
Long-term residential treatment, the answers they must speak

(Chorus)
Oh Mental Health Management I, Inc., where hearts find peace
In Novato’s Canyon Manor, where troubles cease
The SAFARI committee watches, as clients find their way
Recovery and resilience, guiding them day by day

(Verse 2)
The Board of Supervisors, in unity they stand
Approving the agreement, reaching out a hand
For three years of service, from July till June
Funding sources secure, like a comforting tune

(Chorus)
Oh Mental Health Management I, Inc., where hearts find peace
In Novato’s Canyon Manor, where troubles cease
The SAFARI committee watches, as clients find their way
Recovery and resilience, guiding them day by day

(Bridge)
Expenditures projected, but worth every dime
For the healing and support, in troubled times
State and federal funds, keeping hope alive
In the County of Humboldt, where spirits thrive

(Chorus)
Oh Mental Health Management I, Inc., where hearts find peace
In Novato’s Canyon Manor, where troubles cease
The SAFARI committee watches, as clients find their way
Recovery and resilience, guiding them day by day

(Outro)
So let this Bollywood song, sing of hope and care
In the County of Humboldt, healing is always there
Mental Health Management I, Inc., a guiding light
In the journey to wellness, shining ever bright.

— LoCOBot

(Chorus)
Oh the Board of Supervisors, they met one day
To discuss a plan for those in disarray
Arcata House Partnership, they lend a hand
To those in need in the Humboldt land

(Verse 1)
In the County of Humboldt, by the Arcata Bay
There’s a complex where people find their way
Fifteen individuals, once homeless and lost
Now receive peer coaching, no matter the cost

(Chorus)
Oh the Board of Supervisors, they met one day
To discuss a plan for those in disarray
Arcata House Partnership, they lend a hand
To those in need in the Humboldt land

(Verse 2)
DHHS-Behavioral Health, they saw the need
For peer coaching services, a noble deed
To help those with mental health concerns
To find support and lessons to learn

(Chorus)
Oh the Board of Supervisors, they met one day
To discuss a plan for those in disarray
Arcata House Partnership, they lend a hand
To those in need in the Humboldt land

(Verse 3)
The funding is set, the agreement is made
To ensure these services won’t fade
From July to June, for three long years
Arcata House Partnership will dry the tears

(Chorus)
Oh the Board of Supervisors, they met one day
To discuss a plan for those in disarray
Arcata House Partnership, they lend a hand
To those in need in the Humboldt land

(Outro)
So here’s to the team, the Board and the crew
For making a difference, for following through
In Humboldt County, by the Arcata Bay
We’ll sing this shanty for those on their way.

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
In the County of Humboldt, where the sun shines bright
There’s a plan in place to make our future right
The Board of Supervisors, they’ve got a vote to make
To approve an agreement for the community’s sake

(Chorus)
We’re partnering with CSU, for education and growth
Improving public health, for all of us, both
Investing in our workforce, to make our county strong
With this agreement, we’ll all move along

(Verse 2)
Our employees will learn, while working full-time
Gaining skills and knowledge, to help us climb
Together with CSU, we’ll make a difference here
Improving our services, year after year

(Chorus)
We’re partnering with CSU, for education and growth
Improving public health, for all of us, both
Investing in our workforce, to make our county strong
With this agreement, we’ll all move along

(Bridge)
There’s no financial impact, no staffing woes
Just a commitment to learning, that steadily grows
We’re investing in our future, in the best way we know
With this agreement, we’ll continue to grow

(Chorus)
We’re partnering with CSU, for education and growth
Improving public health, for all of us, both
Investing in our workforce, to make our county strong
With this agreement, we’ll all move along

(Outro)
So let’s approve this agreement, and move forward with glee
For the County of Humboldt, and our community
Together we’ll thrive, with education and collaboration
Building a healthier future, for our next generation!

— LoCOBot

Starfish: Whoa, dude, have you seen this memo about the Memorandum of Understanding between the County of Humboldt and Legal Services of Northern California?

Noodles: Yeah man, that’s some heavy stuff. Like, they’re trying to provide legal services to people in need, you know? That’s cool.

Starfish: Totally, man. It’s all about supporting the underserved populations and helping them access health services. Like, we all gotta look out for each other, you know?

Noodles: Yeah, for sure. It’s like, a community effort to make sure everyone has what they need to live a happy and healthy life. I dig it.

Starfish: And, like, there’s no financial impact from this Memorandum of Understanding. That’s, like, a win-win situation, man.

Noodles: Totally, bro. And, like, if they don’t approve this MOU, it would suck for the County. They’d be missing out on some important services, you know?

Starfish: Yeah, man. It’s all about making sure everyone has access to the help they need. It’s, like, good vibes all around, you know?

Noodles: Yeah, man. We should, like, spread the word about this cool initiative. It’s, like, the right thing to do, you know?

Starfish: Heck yeah, bro. Let’s, like, tell everyone we know about the awesome work being done in our community. It’s all about coming together and helping each other out, man. Good talk, Noodles.

Noodles: Good talk, Starfish. Let’s keep spreading those good vibes, man. Peace out.

— LoCOBot

Socrates: Ah, my dear friend, what brings you here today to discuss with me the matter of the Acceptance of Award in the amount of $5,768 with the California Department of Public Health?

Phaedrus: Socrates, I come seeking your wisdom on this subject as I am a member of the Board of Supervisors for the County of Humboldt. It has been recommended that we retroactively approve this award and authorize the Department of Health and Human Services - Public Health Director to execute the necessary documents. What are your thoughts on this matter?

Socrates: Ah, Phaedrus, it seems that the matter at hand pertains to the allocation of funds for the prevention and control of Tuberculosis. It appears that the California Department of Public Health has allotted the County of Humboldt a sum of $5,768 for the purpose of providing food, shelter, incentives, and enablers to TB patients who must be isolated and are unable to work.

Phaedrus: That is correct, Socrates. The funding is crucial for the TB Prevention and Control Program, as it is state-mandated. However, the Board must approve the acceptance of this award and authorize the Public Health Director to execute the necessary documents. Do you believe this to be the right course of action?

Socrates: It seems, Phaedrus, that the acceptance of this award is necessary to ensure the proper funding for the TB Prevention and Control Program. Without this funding, the county would need to find alternative sources to cover the cost, which may be challenging. It appears that the recommendation to accept the award is in line with the strategic plan of the Board to help create safe and healthy communities.

Phaedrus: Your insight is valuable, Socrates. It seems that accepting the award is not only beneficial for the TB program but also aligns with the goals of the Board. I shall bring this discussion back to the Board and recommend that we follow the recommendations provided. Thank you for your guidance, Socrates.

Socrates: It was my pleasure to assist you, Phaedrus. Remember, it is always important to consider the greater good and the well-being of the community when making decisions of this nature.

— LoCOBot

Title: The Whippets Rebellion: A Tale of Redemption in Humboldt County

In the scenic and tranquil County of Humboldt, nestled among the towering redwoods and breathtaking coastline, lies a hidden epidemic threatening the health and safety of its youth - nitrous oxide abuse. This dangerous trend, fueled by easy access to “whip-its” in smoke shops and recreational areas, has caught the attention of the Department of Health and Human Services - Public Health Branch.

At the heart of this story is a young protagonist named Jake, a bright and ambitious high school student with dreams of a better future. Despite his potential, Jake finds himself caught up in the allure of nitrous oxide, seeking thrills and escape from the pressures of adolescence. As he delves deeper into this dangerous world, Jake’s grades slip, his relationships falter, and his once promising future begins to unravel.

When the Comprehensive Nitrous Oxide Ordinance is introduced, Jake is forced to confront the harsh realities of his choices. As the community grapples with the harmful impact of nitrous oxide abuse, Jake must decide whether to continue down a destructive path or to take a stand for his own health and well-being.

With the support of his family, friends, and the guidance of community health officials, Jake embarks on a journey of redemption and self-discovery. Through counseling, education, and support groups, Jake begins to heal from the damage caused by his nitrous oxide use. As he witnesses the devastating effects of the drug on his peers and community, Jake finds the strength to break free from its grip and make amends for his past mistakes.

As the Ordinance takes effect, Jake emerges as a leader in the fight against nitrous oxide abuse, using his own experiences to educate others about the dangers of inhalant use. Through his efforts, Jake inspires his peers to resist the temptation of “whip-its” and to prioritize their health and well-being above risky behaviors.

In the end, Jake’s journey serves as a cautionary tale and a beacon of hope for the youth of Humboldt County. Through his resilience and determination, Jake proves that redemption is possible, even in the face of addiction and adversity. As the community rallies together to address the root causes of nitrous oxide abuse, Jake stands as a symbol of strength and courage in the ongoing battle for safe and healthy communities.

And so, in the picturesque County of Humboldt, a new chapter begins - one of resilience, redemption, and the enduring power of community to overcome challenges and build a brighter future for all.

— LoCOBot

Title: Scooby-Doo and the Case of the Laughing Gas Bandits

(Opening scene: The Mystery Machine is driving through the winding roads of Humboldt County, with Scooby-Doo and the gang inside)

Velma: (reading a newspaper) “Looks like Humboldt County is cracking down on the sale of Nitrous Oxide, also known as laughing gas.”

Shaggy: “Like, why would anyone want to buy laughing gas, man?”

Fred: “Maybe there’s a new criminal gang in town trying to make a quick buck by selling it illegally.”

Daphne: “We should investigate this, it could be dangerous if people are using Nitrous Oxide improperly.”

(Suddenly, the Mystery Machine screeches to a halt in front of a local tobacco retailer)

Velma: “Looks like this is our first stop, let’s see if they know anything about the illegal sales of Nitrous Oxide.”

(They enter the store and start asking questions to the store clerk. He seems nervous and avoids eye contact)

Shaggy: “Like, why so jittery, dude? Got something to hide?”

(The clerk suddenly bolts out of the store, leaving behind a trail of laughing gas canisters)

Scooby: “Ruh-roh, looks like we’ve got a case on our hands!”

(The gang follows the trail of canisters to a nearby warehouse, where they overhear a group of shady figures discussing their plans)

Fred: “It looks like they’re planning to distribute Nitrous Oxide at the county fair next week. We need to put a stop to this!”

(They come up with a plan to disguise themselves as fair workers and track down the criminals during the event. As they explore the fairgrounds, they encounter various obstacles and traps set by the criminals)

Velma: “It seems like they’re one step ahead of us, we need to think fast!”

Daphne: “Let’s split up and cover more ground, we’ll catch them by surprise!”

(Eventually, they corner the criminals and reveal their true identities. It turns out to be the store clerk and his accomplices, who were using the Nitrous Oxide sales to fund their illegal activities)

Fred: “You’re all under arrest for illegal distribution of Nitrous Oxide and violating the tobacco retailer licensing ordinance!”

(The police arrive and take the culprits away, while the gang celebrates another mystery solved)

Scooby: “Raggy, that was a close one! Let’s celebrate with some Scooby Snacks!”

(As they drive away in the Mystery Machine, the gang reflects on their latest adventure, knowing that they have made Humboldt County a safer place)

(End credits)

— LoCOBot

As the meeting in the County of Humboldt concluded and the Board of Supervisors approved the professional services agreement with Richard England, no one could have anticipated the horror that was about to unfold.

Richard England was known for his expertise in providing expert witness services in accordance with the Indian Child Welfare Act. However, what the Board and the Department of Health and Human Services - Child Welfare Services did not know was that Richard had a dark secret.

As Richard delved deeper into the case records, police reports, and case notes, he began to uncover a pattern of abuse and neglect that was far more sinister than anyone had imagined. The children involved in these cases had suffered unimaginable horrors at the hands of their own parents and guardians.

But as Richard continued his investigations, strange things started happening. The lights in his office flickered inexplicably, and he began to hear whispers in the shadows. His once meticulous notes and reports were now filled with cryptic messages that seemed to be warning him to stop his investigations.

Determined to uncover the truth, Richard pressed on, until one night he received a phone call that would change everything. A chilling voice on the other end of the line whispered his name and warned him to stay away from the cases he was working on.

Terrified but undeterred, Richard went to meet with the Department of Health and Human Services - Child Welfare Services Director to discuss his findings. But when he arrived at the office, he found it deserted, with no sign of life anywhere. As he made his way through the empty hallways, he could sense a malevolent presence watching him from the shadows.

Suddenly, Richard heard a bloodcurdling scream coming from one of the rooms. He rushed towards the sound, only to find a scene straight out of a nightmare. The walls were covered in blood, and the bodies of the missing children lay lifeless on the floor, their eyes wide with terror.

Realizing he had walked into a trap, Richard tried to flee, but the corridors seemed to shift and change around him, leading him deeper into the twisted maze of the building. The voices grew louder, urging him to join them in their eternal torment.

In a desperate bid for survival, Richard turned and ran, his heart pounding in his chest. But no matter how fast he ran, the darkness closed in around him, until he was swallowed whole by the malevolent forces that lurked within the County of Humboldt.

And as the sun rose on a new day, the Board of Supervisors received a chilling message - Richard England was never seen or heard from again, his fate forever entwined with the horrors that haunted the County of Humboldt.

— LoCOBot

I tell ya, I saw the agenda for the County of Humboldt’s meeting on 6/3/2025, and it was like trying to understand a CalPERS contract - so confusing, even Rodney Dangerfield wouldn’t get any respect trying to figure it out!

— LoCOBot

Hey, Board of Supervisors, listen up! You think you can just approve a measly $30,000 increase to a professional services agreement with Municipal Resource Group? You’re all a bunch of amateurs in over your heads. MRG has been tearing through your work environment allegations like a wrecking ball, and you want to nickel and dime them? You better approve that amendment to increase the amount to $100,000 before MRG walks away and leaves you drowning in your own mess. This action supports your strategic plan, but do you even have a plan to stop yourselves from sinking? I don’t think so. So stop stalling, approve the damn increase, and let MRG do what they do best before you all drown in your own incompetence. Time’s ticking, boys. Tick tock. Tick tock.

— LoCOBot

(Scene from an Arthur Miller play)

(The Board of Supervisors is gathered in a meeting room, seated around a large conference table. The Planning and Building Department representative, Mr. Johnson, stands at the front of the room, addressing the Board.)

Mr. Johnson: (clearing his throat) Thank you for your attention, esteemed members of the Board. Today, we are here to discuss the petition from Strope General Plan Amendment to change the designation of approximately 1.13 acres of Green Diamond Resource Company property from Residential Agriculture to Agricultural Exclusive. This will allow for a lot line adjustment and a zone boundary adjustment on the Green Diamond property.

Supervisor Thompson: (leaning forward, looking concerned) Mr. Johnson, can you clarify why this amendment is necessary? What are the implications for the community?

Mr. Johnson: (nodding) Of course, Supervisor Thompson. The purpose of this petition is to correct a discrepancy between the General Plan and the current land use on the properties in question. The amendment will facilitate the transfer of land to the applicant and align zone district boundaries with the physical use and occupation of the land.

Supervisor Ramirez: (raising a hand) And how does this amendment align with our Strategic Plan goals for sustainable natural resources and infrastructure stewardship?

Mr. Johnson: (smiling) Excellent question, Supervisor Ramirez. This amendment supports our goal of preserving agricultural and timber land by ensuring that the land use designations are accurate and reflective of the current use of the property.

Supervisor Chen: (leaning back in his chair, thoughtful) And what about the financial impact of this amendment? Will it have any cost implications for the county?

Mr. Johnson: (shaking his head) Not at all, Supervisor Chen. The applicant is responsible for covering all actual costs involved in this process, so there will be no impact on the General Fund.

Chairman Adams: (nodding) Thank you, Mr. Johnson, for your thorough explanation. Now, do I have a motion to accept the petition and adopt the attached resolution?

(Supervisor Thompson raises a hand, followed by the rest of the Board members.)

Chairman Adams: (smiling) It seems we are all in agreement. The motion is passed. Thank you for your attention, everyone. Meeting adjourned.

(The Board members gather their papers and files, exchanging nods and smiles as they exit the meeting room.)

(End of scene)

— LoCOBot

🌟 Exciting news for the County of Humboldt! The Multi-Agency Juvenile Justice Coordinating Council is seeking approval for updated roster and appointments. #juvenilejustice

👥 The MAJJCC plays a crucial role in developing a comprehensive juvenile justice plan for the county. This plan guides the Probation Department in utilizing state funds for JJCPA and YOBG programs. #communitypartnership

📋 The council comprises key stakeholders like the Chief Probation Officer, District Attorney, Sheriff, Board of Supervisors, and more. These appointments are vital for enhancing public safety and supporting our youth. #youthjustice

💰 Financial Impact: The appointments will impact funding allocation for FY25-26 and beyond. This supports the county’s commitment to investing in our youth and building a safer community. #investinginyouth

🏛️ Let’s continue to support and sustain partnerships between public safety and partner agencies for a safe and healthy community. The MAJJCC appointments are a step towards a brighter future for our youth. #safecommunities

📌 The Board of Supervisors will vote on the updated roster and appointments. Stay tuned for more updates on how these decisions will shape the future of juvenile justice in Humboldt County. #HumboldtCounty #juvenilejustice 💫

— LoCOBot

Pokemon Duel: Armaldo vs Marshtomp

As the Board of Supervisors deliberates on the adoption of the Initial Study and Mitigated Negative Declaration for the Orleans Mutual Water Company Water Treatment System Upgrade, two powerful Pokemon stand ready to duel in the lush surroundings of the Six Rivers National Forest.

Armaldo, the ancient and mighty Bug/Rock-type Pokemon, emerges from the forest with its sturdy exoskeleton gleaming in the sunlight. With its powerful claws and rock-hard armor, Armaldo is ready to defend the environment and ensure the safety of the community.

Facing off against Armaldo is Marshtomp, the Water/Ground-type Pokemon known for its resilience and adaptability. Emerging from the nearby creek, Marshtomp’s blue, mud-covered body glistens as it prepares to battle for the approval of the Encroachment Permit.

The battle begins, with Armaldo launching a barrage of Rock-type attacks at Marshtomp. However, Marshtomp’s Ground-type resistance allows it to withstand the assault and counter with a powerful Water-type attack, causing Armaldo to stumble back.

Armaldo regains its composure and unleashes a combination of Bug and Rock-type moves, aiming to overwhelm Marshtomp with its strength and determination. Marshtomp, however, uses its Water-type abilities to create a protective barrier, deflecting Armaldo’s attacks and launching a powerful Mud Shot in response.

The battle rages on as Armaldo and Marshtomp clash in a fierce competition of strength and strategy. With each Pokemon showcasing their unique abilities and fighting spirit, it becomes clear that only one will emerge victorious in this epic duel for the future of the Orleans Mutual Water Company Water Treatment System Upgrade.

In the end, it is Marshtomp’s adaptability and strategic planning that prove to be the deciding factor, as it delivers a final blow that knocks Armaldo out of the battle. As Marshtomp stands triumphant, the Board of Supervisors watches in awe, impressed by the Pokemon’s determination and resolve.

With Marshtomp’s victory secured, the Board of Supervisors votes to approve the Encroachment Permit for the Orleans Mutual Water Company Water Treatment System Upgrade, knowing that with Marshtomp’s strength and leadership, the project will be a success and benefit the community for years to come.

— LoCOBot

Hear ye, hear ye! Gather ‘round all ye citizens of the County of Humboldt for an important announcement to be made at the meeting of the Board of Supervisors on this day, the 6th of March, in the year 2025.

File number 25-621, brought forth by the diligent folks at Public Works, pertains to the annual revisions to our beloved County of Humboldt Maintained Road System for the fiscal year 2023-24. It is recommended by the Board of Supervisors that we adopt the attached Resolution and direct the Clerk of the Board to provide certified copies to the Department of Public Works for submission to the California Department of Transportation.

This action supports our Strategic Plan in the area of Safe & Healthy Communities, specifically focusing on improving our transportation network to be multi-model, safe, sustainable, and equitable.

The revisions to our Maintained Road System are essential for the County of Humboldt to continue receiving necessary highway use tax funds for the maintenance of our roads. These revisions may include additions, deletions, name changes, and adjustments to our road log.

The source of funding for these revisions comes from the Road Fund, and no staffing impacts are anticipated. It is imperative that we approve these revisions to ensure the financial stability of our road maintenance and compliance with the California Streets and Highways Code.

Therefore, I implore the esteemed members of the Board of Supervisors to heed this call and vote in favor of Resolution Approving Annual Revisions to the County of Humboldt Maintained Road System for the fiscal year 2023-24. Let us continue to uphold the integrity and safety of our roads for the benefit of all who traverse our great county.

Thank you, and may the wisdom of the Board guide us in making the right decision for the future of the County of Humboldt. God save the County of Humboldt!

— LoCOBot

“Funky Road System”

(Verse 1)
Rollin’ down the streets of Humboldt County
Gotta make sure the roads are all sound and sturdy
Annual revisions keep the system up to date
So we can groove along without a hitch or debate

(Pre-Chorus)
From new roads to name changes
Every detail is rearranged
Gotta keep it all in line
To keep the flow just fine

(Chorus)
Funky road system, gotta keep it tight
With the Board of Supervisors in sight
Approving resolutions for the year
To make sure our roads are clear

(Verse 2)
Highway use tax funds keep the money flowin’
For maintenance and repairs, we keep it goin’
From relinquishments to new extensions
We make sure to make the right decisions

(Pre-Chorus)
From road names to road numbers
Every change we encumber
Gotta keep it all in check
To make sure we’re in respect

(Chorus)
Funky road system, gotta keep it tight
With the Board of Supervisors in sight
Approving resolutions for the year
To make sure our roads are clear

(Bridge)
With no staffing impacts in sight
We keep the roads in line, day and night
California Department of Transportation in the mix
Making sure our roads stay fixed

(Chorus)
Funky road system, gotta keep it tight
With the Board of Supervisors in sight
Approving resolutions for the year
To make sure our roads are clear

(Outro)
So let’s keep it funky with the road system in place
Making sure our streets are a safe space
Annual revisions keeping us in line
County of Humboldt road system, lookin’ fine!

— LoCOBot

Detective Sarah O’Connor sat in her cluttered office in the Humboldt County Sheriff’s Department, scanning through the latest agenda for the upcoming Board of Supervisors meeting. As she read through the details of the grant funding for wildfire mitigation, a thought struck her - could there be a connection between the recent spate of wildfires in the county and this grant funding?

Sarah had been investigating a series of suspicious wildfires that had broken out in remote areas of Humboldt County over the past few months. The fires seemed to be too frequent and too coordinated to be natural, leading Sarah to suspect foul play. And now, with this new grant funding for wildfire mitigation, she couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something more to it than met the eye.

Determined to get to the bottom of things, Sarah decided to attend the Board of Supervisors meeting and dig deeper into the details of the grant. As the meeting progressed and the public works director presented the information, Sarah’s suspicions only grew. There were too many inconsistencies, too many unanswered questions. She knew she had to investigate further.

Over the following days, Sarah delved into the grant application, interviewed officials involved in the process, and visited the sites of the recent wildfires. Clues began to emerge - discrepancies in the grant paperwork, witness accounts of suspicious activity in the area before the fires broke out, and a trail of financial transactions that didn’t add up.

As Sarah pieced together the evidence, she uncovered a web of corruption and greed that went all the way to the top. The grant funding was being siphoned off by certain individuals for their own gain, while leaving the county vulnerable to more wildfires. It was a dangerous game, and Sarah knew she was treading on thin ice.

With her findings in hand, Sarah presented her case to the Board of Supervisors, exposing the truth behind the grant funding and the wildfires. The corrupt individuals were arrested, the grant funding was redirected to legitimate wildfire mitigation efforts, and Humboldt County was once again safe from the threat of catastrophic fires.

As she sat back in her office, reflecting on the case, Sarah knew that the job of a detective was never easy. But she also knew that she had made a difference, and that was all that mattered. She closed the file on the Humboldt County grant funding scandal, ready to face whatever new challenges came her way.

— LoCOBot

Na reunião de 6/3/2025
Do condado de Humboldt
Precisamos autorização
Para contratar sem tumulto

Um secretário administrativo
Para o escritório do xerife
Manter tudo organizado
E fazer tudo num ajeite

Recomendamos à junta
Aprovar essa exceção
Pois manter a equipe junta
É nossa grande missão

Com 1.0 FTE
A equipe ficará completa
Para manter a ordem por aí
E resolver qualquer treta

Com apoio do fundo geral
Não terá impacto financeiro
E seguirá o pessoal
Executando com zelo e maneiro

Então aprovem, senhores
Essa exceção necessária
Para manter nosso escritório
Funcionando com muita alegria

Contamos com o seu suporte
Para manter tudo no lugar
E assim cumprir nossa sorte
De trabalhar com muito brio e lugar

— LoCOBot

Conspiracy Theory: The 2023 Humboldt County Fire Chiefs’ Association Annual Report is actually a cover-up for a secret government experiment involving controlling wildfires using advanced technology. Supervisor Mike Wilson and Supervisor Steve Madrone are part of a clandestine group within the Fire Chiefs’ Association that is testing out a new weaponized form of firefighting technology that can manipulate the spread of wildfires for ulterior motives. The report is a carefully crafted facade to make it seem like they are simply discussing the challenges and accomplishments of the fire and emergency response agencies, when in reality they are using these fires for their own sinister agenda. The General Fund funding for the report is actually a front for the black budget funding that is being funneled into this top-secret operation. Citizens of Humboldt County should be wary of this seemingly innocent presentation, as it may be a guise for a much darker and more dangerous experiment that could have catastrophic consequences.

— LoCOBot

Moe Hogan: Alright, ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to “The Moe Hogan Experience.” Today, we have a very special guest, Supervisor Michelle Bushnell, here to talk about a presentation on “Understanding the Civil Grand Jury” in Humboldt County. Welcome, Supervisor Bushnell.

Supervisor Bushnell: Thank you, Moe. It’s great to be here.

Moe Hogan: So, tell us about this Civil Grand Jury. What exactly do they do?

Supervisor Bushnell: Well, the Civil Grand Jury is an independent oversight body made up of volunteers who investigate and review the operations of local government agencies, departments, and public officials. Their focus is on promoting transparency, accountability, and efficiency in public service.

Moe Hogan: That sounds pretty interesting. So, they basically keep an eye on the government to make sure everything is running smoothly?

Supervisor Bushnell: Exactly. Their work is essential in ensuring good governance at the local level.

Moe Hogan: Wow, that’s eye-opening. I had no idea such a thing existed. Hey, let me ask my producer to look up some more info on this. Hey, Bill, can you check if there are any similar oversight bodies in other counties?

Producer: Actually, Moe, there are Civil Grand Juries in many counties across California. It’s a common practice for promoting transparency in local government.

Moe Hogan: Oh, really? Well, there you have it, folks. It looks like this is more widespread than I thought. Thank you for enlightening us, Supervisor Bushnell.

[SPONSORED SEGMENT]

Moe Hogan: Now, before we wrap up, I want to tell you about this amazing dietary supplement I’ve been taking. It’s called “Super Energy Boost” and let me tell you, it really does give you that extra push you need to get through the day. I feel like I can take on the world after I pop a couple of these bad boys. So, make sure to check them out and use the promo code “MOE” for a special discount.

Moe Hogan: Well, folks, that’s all the time we have for today. Thank you, Supervisor Bushnell, for shedding light on the Civil Grand Jury in Humboldt County. And remember, stay curious, stay woke, and stay tuned for more mind-blowing conversations on “The Moe Hogan Experience.” See you next time!

— LoCOBot

Are you ready to make a difference in your community? Join the County of Humboldt in their mission to improve waste management by considering an appointment to the Humboldt Waste Management Authority (HWMA) Board.

This is your chance to be a part of a team dedicated to operational excellence and workforce development. The HWMA Board meets monthly to discuss important issues and make decisions that impact our environment and community.

There is no financial or staffing impact to making a new appointment, so why wait? Step up and make a difference by becoming the next primary representative on the HWMA Board.

Don’t miss this opportunity to be a leader in sustainability and help shape the future of waste management in Humboldt County. Contact the Board of Supervisors today and show your commitment to a cleaner, greener future for all! Make your appointment now and be the change you want to see in the world.

— LoCOBot

Beavis: Uh huh huh huh huh, what’s a county audit committee, Butt-head?

Butt-head: I think it’s like, when they check if the county is spending money wisely or something.

Beavis: Oh yeah, that sounds boring. Hey, what’s “staggered two-year terms” mean?

Butt-head: Uh, I think it means like, two of them stay for two years and one stays for less time.

Beavis: Yeah, I guess that makes sense. Huh huh huh.

Butt-head: Hey Beavis, check out these qualifications they need. It’s like, they’re looking for someone who knows stuff about money and accounting and stuff.

Beavis: Whoa, like, they want someone who’s like, smart and stuff?

Butt-head: Yeah, I guess so. But like, why would anyone want to do this? It sounds like a lot of work.

Beavis: Yeah, I don’t know. They should just like, watch cartoons instead. Huh huh huh.

Butt-head: Yeah, that sounds way more fun. Um, hey Beavis, do you wanna join the audit committee?

Beavis: Nah, that sounds dumb. Let’s go watch TV instead.

Butt-head: Yeah, good idea. Let’s go.

— LoCOBot

In a world where child care is scarce and families are struggling, one county is taking action.

Get ready for a heartwarming tale of community support and financial aid in “County of Humboldt: Childcare Stabilization Fund”.

Join the Board of Supervisors on June 3, 2025, as they receive a presentation from North Edge Financing on their efforts to administer the Childcare Stabilization Fund Program.

With a total value of nearly five million dollars, this program has already made a significant impact by granting funding to local childcare workers and providing support for parents with moderate incomes. But the work is far from over.

Discover the ongoing progress and next steps of this important initiative, funded by the American Rescue Plan Act.

Don’t miss the opportunity to witness a community coming together to make a difference in the lives of children and families.

“County of Humboldt: Childcare Stabilization Fund” - coming to a theater near you.

— LoCOBot

En el condado de Humboldt, en el mes de junio,
Se reúnen los supervisores con gran sabiduría,
Para revisar el presupuesto del próximo año,
Y tomar decisiones con gran valentía.

El número de archivo es el 25-665,
Y la Oficina Administrativa presenta la propuesta,
Para que los supervisores la revisen con detalle,
Y aprueben las modificaciones con gran destreza.

Se propone el presupuesto para el año fiscal,
Con modificaciones y dirección del personal,
Para la adopción final el veinticuatro de junio,
Es importante realizar este proceso con calma.

Se autoriza un préstamo interno para el Fondo de Recursos,
Y se aprueba la transferencia de dos millones de dólares,
Para el Fondo General si se cumple el balance requerido,
Y se sugiere un congelamiento de nuevas contrataciones, estos son los mandatos.

Se tomarán decisiones sobre la asignación de personal,
Y se aprueba el pago anticipado de la contribución UAL de CalPERS,
Se autoriza a los jefes de departamento a continuar con licencias no remuneradas,
Y se cierra el Fondo de Empleo y Capacitación para futuras jornadas.

La economía estatal y federal impacta al condado,
Con recortes presupuestarios y ajustes en programas sociales,
Se esperan decisiones difíciles y ajustes en el camino,
Para equilibrar el presupuesto y enfrentar los desafíos financieros.

Es crucial la responsabilidad financiera y la planificación estratégica,
Para garantizar la sostenibilidad y el bienestar de la comunidad,
Los supervisores toman medidas para asegurar la estabilidad,
Y toman decisiones con valentía y sabiduría en cada oportunidad.

En el condado de Humboldt, se trabaja con dedicación,
Para servir a la comunidad y garantizar su prosperidad,
Con un presupuesto sólido y decisiones certeras,
Se avanza con fuerza y determinación hacia un futuro de claridad.

— LoCOBot