My Dearest Jane,

I write to you from the trenches amidst heavy fire from German artillery. The sounds of war surround me, but my thoughts are with you, my love.

I wanted to tell you about a proclamation made by the Humboldt County Board of Supervisors. They have declared March 15 - 21, 2026 as National Surveyors Week. It is a recognition of the important contributions that surveyors have made to our county’s history, development, and quality of life.

There is no financial impact in presenting this proclamation, and it serves to bring awareness to the hard work and dedication of surveyors in our community.

I pray for our safe return to each other’s arms, my dear Jane. Please know that you are always in my thoughts and my heart.

With all my love,
Charles

— LoCOBot

It was a chilly evening in Humboldt County, as the Board of Supervisors gathered for their meeting on March 17, 2026. Among the various items on the agenda, one stood out to Supervisor Michelle Bushnell and Supervisor Rex Bohn - the Certificates of Recognition for the Soroptimist International of Eel River Valley Award Winners.

As they reviewed the recommendation to ratify the Board Chair’s signature on the certificates, Michelle couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride. She had been a member of Soroptimist International for years, and she knew firsthand the incredible work that the organization did to empower women and girls in the community.

Rex, on the other hand, was relatively new to the organization, but he had quickly come to appreciate the dedication and passion of its members. As they discussed the award winners and the impact they had made in their community, a spark of admiration ignited between them.

After the meeting, Michelle and Rex found themselves lingering in the hallway, unable to shake the feeling that there was something special between them. As they talked about their shared interests and values, their connection deepened, and before they knew it, they were falling for each other.

In the weeks that followed, Michelle and Rex worked closely together on various initiatives to support the community. Their bond grew stronger with each passing day, and it wasn’t long before they realized that they had found something rare and beautiful in each other.

On a warm spring evening, as the sun set over the Eel River Valley, Michelle and Rex stood side by side at the annual Soroptimist International dinner. As the award winners were announced and the certificates of recognition were presented, they shared a knowing smile, grateful for the love that had blossomed between them.

And as they danced under the starlit sky, surrounded by the sounds of laughter and joy, they knew that their love story was just beginning - a love story that had been written in the stars, in the County of Humboldt.

— LoCOBot

🚨 Important update for the meeting of 3/17/2026! 🚨 The Board of Supervisors will be discussing Senate Bill 1402, which proposes to reduce the time for assessment appeals from 2 years to just 6 months. This could have major operational impacts for counties and applicants. (1/5)

Humboldt County relies on the current 2-year timeline to ensure a thorough review and fair hearing. Shortening the timeline would create challenges for the Clerk of the Board’s Office, Assessor’s Office, and AAB members. That’s why Humboldt County is recommending opposition to SB 1402. (2/5)

If passed, SB 1402 would require an increase in the Assessment Appeals Budget for board members’ stipends and travel reimbursements. The financial impact is currently undetermined. Additionally, Clerk of the Board and Assessor’s Office staffing would be impacted due to the need for additional meetings. (3/5)

The County Administrative Officer would be authorized to continue advocating against SB 1402 throughout the legislative session. We need to ensure our processes remain fair and efficient for all involved. Let’s stand together to oppose this bill and protect our community’s interests. (4/5)

Stay informed and engaged with local issues like SB 1402. Your voice matters! Follow along with the meeting on 3/17/2026 to see how the Board of Supervisors decides to move forward. Let’s work together to make a difference in our community. #HumboldtCounty #LocalGovernment (5/5)

— LoCOBot

(Scene from an Arthur Miller play)

(Mayor Anderson sits at the head of the table, surrounded by the Board of Supervisors. The tension in the room is palpable as they prepare to discuss the approval of the Action Summary for the meeting of March 3, 2026.)

Mayor Anderson: (reading from the agenda) “Approval of the Action Summary for the meeting of March 3, 2026. Strategic Plan Category: 9999 - Core Services/Other. Financial Impact: Approval results in no impact to the General Fund.”

Supervisor Roberts: (leaning forward) I have some concerns about the actions taken at the last meeting. I don’t think they accurately reflect the needs of our community.

Mayor Anderson: (furrowing his brow) What specifically do you take issue with, Supervisor Roberts?

Supervisor Roberts: (pointing to the Action Summary) It says here that we approved a measure to cut funding for essential services in our county. That is simply unacceptable.

Supervisor Chang: (nodding in agreement) I have to agree with Supervisor Roberts. We cannot in good conscience support actions that harm our community.

Mayor Anderson: (sighing heavily) I understand your concerns, but we must follow proper procedure. If you have evidence to suggest that the actions taken were wrong, then we can address them accordingly.

Supervisor Roberts: (standing up) I have evidence, Mayor Anderson. I have spoken with members of our community who have been directly affected by these cuts. We cannot turn a blind eye to their suffering.

Mayor Anderson: (standing up as well) I hear you, Supervisor Roberts. And I promise you, we will investigate this matter further. But for now, we must follow protocol and approve the Action Summary as presented.

Supervisor Chang: (crossing her arms) I cannot in good conscience do that, Mayor Anderson. I will not support actions that harm our community.

Mayor Anderson: (sighing) Very well, Supervisor Chang. The record will show your dissent. Let the minutes reflect the concerns raised by both Supervisor Roberts and Supervisor Chang.

(The Board of Supervisors continue their discussion, each member making their voices heard. The tension in the room only grows as they struggle to come to a resolution.)

— LoCOBot

Once upon a time, in the magical County of Humboldt, there existed a Forestry Review Committee that oversaw the protection and preservation of the ancient, mystical forests that covered the land. The committee was made up of representatives from each district, each carefully chosen to ensure the balance and harmony of the forests would be maintained.

On the agenda for the meeting of 3/17/2026, was the appointment of a new member to the committee. Supervisor Steve Madrone had put forth the recommendation to appoint April Sahara as the Fifth District Representative. April Sahara was known throughout the county as a wise and courageous soul, with a deep connection to the land and a passion for preserving its beauty.

The Board of Supervisors gathered in the grand hall of the County of Humboldt, ready to vote on the appointment of April Sahara. As they listened to Supervisor Madrone speak of her qualifications and dedication to the forest, they knew she was the perfect choice to join the committee.

With a unanimous vote, April Sahara was appointed as the Fifth District Representative to the Forestry Review Committee. The room filled with applause and cheers as she accepted the position, a sense of pride swelling in her heart for the opportunity to help protect the magical forests she held dear.

As April Sahara took her seat on the committee, she was filled with a sense of purpose and determination. She knew that the task ahead would not be easy, but she was ready to face any challenges that came her way to ensure the forests remained safe and thriving for generations to come.

Over the years, April Sahara worked tirelessly alongside her fellow committee members to implement new policies and protections for the forests. Her wisdom and passion inspired others to join in the cause, and soon, the magical forests of the County of Humboldt flourished like never before.

And so, thanks to April Sahara and the hard work of the Forestry Review Committee, the forests of the County of Humboldt continued to thrive, their ancient beauty preserved for all to enjoy for years to come. And April Sahara’s name would go down in history as a guardian of the land, a hero of the forests, and a champion of the wild.

— LoCOBot

Title: The Workforce Warriors

[Jerry, Elaine, George, and Kramer are sitting in the diner, discussing their latest endeavors]

Jerry: So, what’s new with everyone?

Elaine: I just started a new job at an ad agency. It’s exciting, but the hours are killing me.

George: I’m still unemployed. I can’t seem to catch a break.

Kramer: Ah, you know what you need, George? You need to tap into the workforce development board. They can help you find a job.

Jerry: The what now?

Kramer: The Humboldt County Workforce Development Board. They oversee the county’s workforce system and funding opportunities. They’re like the superheroes of employment.

Jerry: Superheroes of employment? Sounds like a great premise for a new comic book.

Elaine: Speaking of superheroes, did you hear about Ciara Emery and Sei Hee Hwang being appointed to the board?

George: Who are they?

Elaine: They’re new members who were just appointed for a two-year term. They come from different backgrounds and will bring fresh perspectives to the board.

Jerry: Well, I think we should check out this board. Maybe they can help George find a job.

[The group decides to attend the next meeting of the Humboldt County Workforce Development Board. As they enter the meeting room, they see a mix of public agencies, labor unions, private sector businesses, and community-based organizations]

Jerry: Look at all these different people coming together to help others find work. It’s like a melting pot of job opportunities.

Elaine: And there’s Ciara Emery and Sei Hee Hwang. They look determined and ready to make a difference.

Kramer: This board is like a secret society of job seekers and job creators. It’s fascinating.

[As the meeting progresses, George gets some helpful advice and leads on job openings. He starts to feel hopeful about his job search]

George: I can’t believe I didn’t know about this board sooner. They’re like my own personal workforce warriors.

Jerry: Looks like George is on the path to employment thanks to the Humboldt County Workforce Development Board.

[The group leaves the meeting feeling inspired and grateful for the work of the board. They head back to the diner to celebrate George’s newfound prospects]

Kramer: Who knew the key to success was in the hands of the workforce warriors?

[The group shares a hearty laugh as they toast to new beginnings]

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
In the County of Humboldt, in the year 2026
The Board of Supervisors, making their picks
On March 10th, decisions were made
Now it’s time to approve, no need to delay

(Chorus)
Approval of the Action Summary, it’s all on the line
Sign the Minute Book, everything will be fine
In the County of Humboldt, we’re moving ahead
Taking care of business, no need to dread

(Verse 2)
Strategic plan in place, focusing on core services
Making sure we’re meeting all of our purposes
No financial impact, the funds are secure
Just need your approval, that’s for sure

(Chorus)
Approval of the Action Summary, it’s all on the line
Sign the Minute Book, everything will be fine
In the County of Humboldt, we’re moving ahead
Taking care of business, no need to dread

(Bridge)
No alternative needed, staff recommendation stands
We’re in this together, all part of the plan
Clerk of the Board, ready to edit if required
But we’re confident in what’s been inspired

(Chorus)
Approval of the Action Summary, it’s all on the line
Sign the Minute Book, everything will be fine
In the County of Humboldt, we’re moving ahead
Taking care of business, no need to dread

(Outro)
So Board of Supervisors, make your decision
In the County of Humboldt, we’re on a mission
To keep things running smoothly, without a fuss
Approve the Action Summary, it’s a must.

— LoCOBot

(Chorus)
We’re talking linen and laundry services in Humboldt County
Keeping things clean and fresh for all to see
With Mission Linen Supply, we’ve got it all figured out
So let’s extend our agreement, there’s no need to doubt

(Verse 1)
Back in 2020, the Board gave the okay
To enter into a contract without delay
Five years of service, but we’re not done yet
One-year extensions, we just can’t forget

(Chorus)
We’re talking linen and laundry services in Humboldt County
Keeping things clean and fresh for all to see
With Mission Linen Supply, we’ve got it all figured out
So let’s extend our agreement, there’s no need to doubt

(Verse 2)
In 2025, another extension came our way
Increasing the max amount we’d pay
Now in 2026, it’s time to do it again
One more year of service, let’s extend our linen

(Chorus)
We’re talking linen and laundry services in Humboldt County
Keeping things clean and fresh for all to see
With Mission Linen Supply, we’ve got it all figured out
So let’s extend our agreement, there’s no need to doubt

(Bridge)
The funding is in place, the staff is all on board
No interruptions, we’re in accord
From the Sheriff’s Office to Public Works too
We’re making sure our linen stays clean and new

(Chorus)
We’re talking linen and laundry services in Humboldt County
Keeping things clean and fresh for all to see
With Mission Linen Supply, we’ve got it all figured out
So let’s extend our agreement, there’s no need to doubt

(Outro)
So here’s to linen and laundry, keeping Humboldt in tip-top shape
Thanks to Mission Linen Supply, we’ve got no complaints
Extend the agreement, the Board will surely agree
Linen and laundry services, a vital necessity

— LoCOBot

Title: Scooby Doo and the Haunting of the Humboldt County Jail

(Opening scene: The Mystery Machine pulls up outside the Humboldt County Sheriff’s Office)

Fred: Alright gang, looks like we’ve got a new mystery to solve in Humboldt County!

Daphne: What’s the scoop, Fred?

Fred: It seems the Sheriff’s Office is participating in a Jail Medical Feasibility Study, but there have been reports of strange happenings at the county jail.

Velma: Jinkies! Let’s investigate and see if we can get to the bottom of this mystery.

(The gang enters the Sheriff’s Office and meets with the Sheriff)

Sheriff: Thank you for coming, Mystery Inc. We’ve been experiencing some unusual disturbances at the county jail ever since we started the feasibility study.

Shaggy: Like, what kind of disturbances, man?

Sheriff: Lights flickering, strange sounds coming from the cells, and reports of ghostly apparitions haunting the corridors.

Scooby: Ruh-roh!

Fred: Don’t worry Sheriff, we’ll get to the bottom of this. Velma, any ideas on where to start?

Velma: Let’s head over to the jail and see if we can find any clues.

(The gang arrives at the county jail and begins to investigate)

Daphne: Look, footprints leading down this dark corridor.

Fred: Let’s follow them and see where they lead.

(As they follow the footprints, they come across a hidden passage leading to an underground chamber)

Velma: This must be where the disturbances are coming from. Let’s see what’s down here.

(They enter the chamber and discover a group of individuals dressed as ghosts)

Fred: Looks like we’ve caught the culprits behind the haunting of the Humboldt County Jail!

Sheriff: I can’t believe it, they were trying to scare us away from the feasibility study.

Velma: It seems they didn’t want the study to uncover any illegal activities happening at the jail.

(The Sheriff arrests the fake ghosts and the gang solves the mystery)

Fred: Another case solved, Mystery Inc. Great job everyone!

Daphne: And we helped ensure that the feasibility study can continue without any interference.

Scooby: Rokay, Raggy, let’s celebrate with some Scooby Snacks!

(As the gang enjoys their victory, they head back to the Mystery Machine and drive off into the sunset)

(The End)

— LoCOBot

The office was quiet as Stephen Falkenstrom and Alice Rosendahl sat nervously in the waiting room, awaiting their turn for the job interview with the Board of Supervisors for the extension of their extra-help hours at the Humboldt County Sheriff’s Office.

As their names were called, they stood up and made their way to the conference room where the interview was scheduled to take place. The Sheriff sat at the head of the table, flanked by members of the Board of Supervisors.

“Good morning, Mr. Falkenstrom and Ms. Rosendahl. Thank you for coming in today,” the Sheriff began. “We appreciate the hard work and dedication you have shown during your time with the Sheriff’s Office. Can you both please tell us a bit about your experience and why you believe you deserve an extension of your extra-help hours?”

Stephen Falkenstrom, a tall and serious-looking man, spoke first. “I have been with the Sheriff’s Office for over five years now, and during that time, I have always strived to go above and beyond in my duties. The extra-help hours have allowed me to provide essential security in the courtrooms, and I believe that extending my hours will only benefit the community and the Sheriff’s Office as a whole.”

Alice Rosendahl, a young and eager woman, spoke next. “I have been working in the Sheriff’s Business Office for the past two years, and I have seen firsthand the impact that the extra-help hours have had on our ability to keep up with the workload. Extending my hours will ensure that we can continue to provide the necessary support to the department and fulfill our responsibilities effectively.”

The Board of Supervisors nodded in understanding as they listened to Stephen and Alice. After a few more questions about their specific roles and responsibilities, the Sheriff spoke up again.

“Based on your dedication, experience, and the critical roles you both play in the Sheriff’s Office, I believe that it is in the best interest of the community and the department to approve the extension of your extra-help hours,” the Sheriff said.

With a unanimous vote from the Board of Supervisors, Stephen Falkenstrom and Alice Rosendahl were granted the extension of their extra-help hours, allowing them to continue their valuable contributions to the Humboldt County Sheriff’s Office. As they left the conference room with smiles on their faces, they knew they had made a positive impact and were appreciated for their hard work.

— LoCOBot

On airy hills of Humboldt’s fair county,
Grant resolution meets the Board’s bounty.
Sheriff speaks of DEA’s generous hand,
For cannabis eradication in our land.

Recommendations presented, clear and sound,
Approval sought, in Scottish grounds.
To sign the resolution, a necessary chore,
For the sake of justice, forevermore.

Sheriff, Undersheriff, and Deputy too,
Shall execute plans, agreements anew.
For the good of Humboldt, they shall strive,
In the name of justice, they shall thrive.

Funds from DEA, a welcome sight,
To fight the black-market, day and night.
Overtime hours, for deputies bold,
In cannabis eradication, truth is told.

Aircraft rental, fuel, and repair,
Support the deputies in the air.
For the eradication of this illegal trade,
Humboldt’s finest, shall not fade.

United States Department of Justice, our source,
For funding this noble course.
No grant match required, no need to fret,
Funds secured, pay off the debt.

Staffing impact, in overtime paid,
For eradication efforts made.
United we stand, with DEA,
In the fight against illegal way.

So let the Board of Supervisors see,
The importance of this decree.
For Humboldt’s safety, health, and peace,
Grant resolution, let it never cease.

— LoCOBot

(Hook)
Traveling through the County of Humboldt
With budgets tight and funds on hold
Supervisors seeking clarity
On how to manage their spend strategically

(Verse 1)
Adjusting travel reimbursement
For a more accurate reflect
Supervisors need guidelines
To ensure funds are properly checked

(Chorus)
County of Humboldt, where decisions are made
Board of Supervisors, in the spotlight they’ll stay
Adjusting budgets, setting guidelines in place
For a more transparent and efficient way

(Verse 2)
From $6,000 to $10,300
A decade of unchanged rates
While expenses keep rising
It’s time to negotiate

(Chorus)
County of Humboldt, where decisions are made
Board of Supervisors, in the spotlight they’ll stay
Adjusting budgets, setting guidelines in place
For a more transparent and efficient way

(Bridge)
Options on the table, decisions to be made
Increase allocations or redistribute the trade
Transparency and equity, the goal in sight
To manage expenditures, a balance we’ll strike

(Chorus)
County of Humboldt, where decisions are made
Board of Supervisors, in the spotlight they’ll stay
Adjusting budgets, setting guidelines in place
For a more transparent and efficient way

(Outro)
In the County of Humboldt, decisions to be made
Board of Supervisors, leading the way
For a better future, with funds well spent
In the County of Humboldt, where progress is meant.

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
In the County of Humboldt, where the redwoods stand tall
There’s a meeting on the agenda, for one and for all
It’s about the compensation, for the heads of the departments
But what they don’t know, is it’s breaking some hearts

(Chorus)
There’s a vote on the table, a decision to be made
But behind closed doors, a sacrifice is laid
For the elected and appointed, it’s a bittersweet deal
To keep the county running, with a heavy heart to feel

(Verse 2)
The insurance coverage, the longevity pay
It all seems so simple, but it’s hard to convey
The sacrifices made, to keep the funds in line
While the ones in charge, carry on just fine

(Chorus)
There’s a vote on the table, a decision to be made
But behind closed doors, a sacrifice is laid
For the elected and appointed, it’s a bittersweet deal
To keep the county running, with a heavy heart to feel

(Bridge)
The financial impact, the staffing levels clear
But what about the ones, who hold the county dear
It’s a hard decision, a burden to bear
For the ones who serve, with love and care

(Chorus)
There’s a vote on the table, a decision to be made
But behind closed doors, a sacrifice is laid
For the elected and appointed, it’s a bittersweet deal
To keep the county running, with a heavy heart to feel

(Outro)
So here’s to Humboldt, where the redwoods stand tall
And to the ones who serve, giving their all
May they find peace, in the decisions they make
And may their hearts heal, for their sacrifice’s sake.

— LoCOBot

Merv “The Beast” Tarkington: Welcome back to the Merv “The Beast” Tarkington Show, where we don’t hold back when it comes to exposing the liberal agenda in our local government. Today, we have some breaking news out of the County of Humboldt that will have you shaking your head in disbelief.

It seems that the Board of Supervisors is considering re-authorizing the County Planning & Building Department Division of Housing and Grants to apply for a Pro-Housing Designation and Grant with the California Department of Housing and Community Development. Sounds innocent enough, right? Wrong.

This so-called Pro-Housing Incentive Program is nothing more than a scheme to push their liberal agenda of socialized housing onto hard-working Americans. They want to use real estate transaction fees to fund this program, taking money right out of the pockets of homeowners and taxpayers.

And what’s even more concerning is that this program will award funds based on a Pro-Housing Designation Program Score. Who decides this score? Who determines who gets funding and who doesn’t? It’s all a big government power grab, folks.

But it gets worse. The County of Humboldt is seeking grant funding for Low- and Moderate-Income (LMI) homes, home improvements for LMI residents and the disabled, and a county-wide multi-lingual outreach strategy. Why should taxpayers foot the bill for these handouts? It’s not our responsibility to provide housing for everyone who can’t afford it.

I urge all of you listening to call your Board of Supervisors and tell them to reject this resolution. We can’t let the liberal elites in our local government dictate how we live our lives and spend our hard-earned money.

Stay tuned for more updates on this developing story and remember, we are the silent majority and our voices will be heard. This is Merv “The Beast” Tarkington signing off.

— LoCOBot