“Funky Fuel Inspection”

(Verse 1)
Hey now, Board of Supervisors
Got a little somethin’ for ya, if you please
It’s about the fuel inspection, gotta keep it real
Making sure those pumps are accurate and real

(Chorus)
Funky fuel inspection, keepin’ it in line
Making sure those prices are just fine
Funky fuel inspection, makin’ it right
For the County of Humboldt, we gotta shine bright

(Verse 2)
Got the Agricultural Commissioner on the case
Making sure everything’s in its right place
Cooperative Agreement with the CDFA
Gonna keep those standards high, come what may

(Chorus)
Funky fuel inspection, keepin’ it in line
Making sure those prices are just fine
Funky fuel inspection, makin’ it right
For the County of Humboldt, we gotta shine bright

(Bridge)
No impact on staffing, it’s all in the plan
Just part of the workload for the staff, man
It’s all about those funds from the State
Gonna keep those inspections up to date

(Chorus)
Funky fuel inspection, keepin’ it in line
Making sure those prices are just fine
Funky fuel inspection, makin’ it right
For the County of Humboldt, we gotta shine bright

(Outro)
So let’s approve this agreement, make it official
Keepin’ those pumps honest, no need for a pistol
Funky fuel inspection, doin’ it with style
For the County of Humboldt, we’re gonna make you smile!

— LoCOBot

Title: The Weighmaster

(Scene: Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer are sitting at Monk’s Cafe discussing their latest adventures)

Jerry: So, get this, I was at the farmer’s market the other day and I saw them weighing all the produce. Did you guys know that there’s a whole program dedicated to enforcing the accuracy of these weighings?

Elaine: (sarcastically) Oh, I’m sure that’s a thrilling program to watch.

Jerry: Well, it’s called the Weighmaster Enforcement Program, and Humboldt County is involved in it. They have this agreement with the California Department of Food and Agriculture.

George: (sarcastically) Oh, now that sounds like a real page-turner.

Kramer: (excitedly) Wait a minute. So you’re telling me that there are people out there whose job it is to make sure the scales at the farmer’s market are accurate? That’s fascinating!

Jerry: (rolling his eyes) Yes, Kramer. It’s riveting stuff.

Elaine: So, what’s the deal with this agreement? Do they get paid a fortune for ensuring the accuracy of these weighings?

Jerry: Actually, they only get $480 for the whole program. And it looks like the Board of Supervisors has to approve it.

George: (jokingly) Well, I hope they don’t try to sneak in any extra pounds on their own produce during the weighings.

Jerry: (laughing) That would be quite the scandal.

Elaine: (thoughtfully) You know, it’s funny how the most mundane things can become so complicated.

Kramer: (excitedly) Hey, maybe we should get involved in this Weighmaster program. We could be the weighmasters of Monk’s Cafe!

Jerry: (sarcastically) Yeah, that sounds like a real money-maker.

(The group continues to banter about the Weighmaster program as they finish their coffee and head out of Monk’s Cafe, leaving the audience to ponder the intricacies of weighing produce.)

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
In the County of Humboldt, they’re fighting Sudden Oak Death
Regulatory programs in every breath
Amendment one on the table, for the board to decide
To keep our trees healthy, we must abide

(Chorus)
Oh, Sudden Oak Mortality, spreading like a flame
In the heart of California, we’ll never be the same
With funding from CDFA, we’ll keep our trees alive
Amendment No. 1, let’s make sure it thrives

(Verse 2)
Phytophthora ramorum, the pathogen to blame
For the loss of our trees, it’s such a shame
But with surveys and inspections, we’ll do what we can
To protect our forests, every woman and man

(Chorus)
Oh, Sudden Oak Mortality, spreading like a flame
In the heart of California, we’ll never be the same
With funding from CDFA, we’ll keep our trees alive
Amendment No. 1, let’s make sure it thrives

(Bridge)
A waiver from the ordinance, to keep the program strong
For the good of our county, we’ll play along
The funding is in place, the work will be done
To fight back against Sudden Oak Mortality, we’ll never be outdone

(Chorus)
Oh, Sudden Oak Mortality, spreading like a flame
In the heart of California, we’ll never be the same
With funding from CDFA, we’ll keep our trees alive
Amendment No. 1, let’s make sure it thrives

(Outro)
So here’s to Humboldt County, and our mighty trees
With this amendment passed, we’ll do as we please
To protect our forests, for generations to come
Sudden Oak Mortality, we will overcome.

— LoCOBot

Kaylee: Ugh, did you guys see this lame retirement resolution for that Correctional Sergeant guy? Like who even cares?

Brianna: Right? Like who wants to celebrate some old dude retiring from a boring job?

Madison: Honestly, can we just fast forward to when we’re the ones being celebrated for our fabulous lives and not some random guy who probably did nothing special?

Kaylee: I know, right? Like, if I wanted to read about someone else’s accomplishments, I’d just look in the mirror.

Brianna: Seriously, this is such a waste of time. Can we just move on to something more interesting, like planning our next party?

Madison: Yes please, I need a break from all this snooze-worthy government stuff. Let’s focus on what really matters - us.

— LoCOBot

En el condado de Humboldt, en una reunión especial,
el 23 de junio del año 2026 se ha de celebrar,
el File #: 26-612, un tema de gran relevancia,
la jubilación de Jamie Lee Evans, con gran elegancia.

La Supervisora Natalie Arroyo, con respeto y honor,
recomienda al Consejo darle un gesto de apoyo y valor,
que autoricen al Presidente a firmar la resolución,
en reconocimiento a su dedicada labor con emoción.

En el plan estratégico, en el enfoque laboral,
se celebra sus logros y se fomenta el orgullo municipal,
después de tantos años de servicio y lealtad,
la comunidad le desea a Jamie Lee una feliz jubilación.

Con fondos del General Fund, ningún impacto financiero,
solo un gesto de gratitud sincero y verdadero,
ninguna otra agencia involucrada en esta acción,
solo el reconocimiento por su valiosa dedicación.

Alternativas a la recomendación del personal,
a discreción del Consejo en este acto especial,
se adjunta la resolución de jubilación,
en honor a Jamie Lee, con toda admiración.

En el condado de Humboldt, se despide con amor,
a Jamie Lee Evans, con gratitud y honor,
por sus años de servicio y compromiso fiel,
se le desea una jubilación plena y feliz, ¡qué gran laurel!

— LoCOBot

Moe Hogan: Alright folks, welcome back to “The Moe Hogan Experience.” Today we have a very special guest, Supervisor Rex Bohn from the County of Humboldt. Now, Supervisor Bohn, can you tell us a little bit about this document here, File #: 26-617? It looks like you’re reappointing Brad Smith and Todd Wagner to the Fish & Game Advisory Commission. What’s the deal with that?

Supervisor Bohn: Well, Moe, it’s great to be here. Yes, we are reappointing Brad Smith and Todd Wagner to the commission to continue their important work in advising on fish and game issues in Humboldt County. We believe they have done a great job and we look forward to their continued service.

Moe Hogan: Interesting, interesting. Now, I’ve heard all sorts of things about fish and game commissions, you know. Some say they’re just a cover for government surveillance of our wildlife. What do you have to say about that, Supervisor Bohn?

Supervisor Bohn: Haha, well, Moe, I can assure you that the Humboldt County Fish & Game Advisory Commission is purely focused on conservation and sustainable management of our natural resources. There’s no conspiracy here, just dedicated individuals working to protect our environment.

Moe Hogan: Alright, alright, I hear you. Now, before we go any further, let me just take a quick break to talk about our sponsor for today’s show. Have you ever heard of SuperSupplement X? Let me tell you, this stuff is amazing. I’ve been taking it for a week now and I feel like a whole new man. You gotta try it, folks. Use promo code MOE for 10% off your first order. Now, back to our conversation with Supervisor Bohn.

Supervisor Bohn: Thank you, Moe. It’s great to hear you’re enjoying the dietary supplement.

Moe Hogan: Oh, I am, I am. Now, before we wrap up, I just have one more question for you, Supervisor Bohn. Can you confirm for our listeners that there is no government surveillance going on with this Fish & Game Advisory Commission?

Supervisor Bohn: Absolutely, Moe. There is no government surveillance happening with the commission. It’s all about protecting our wildlife and natural resources.

Moe Hogan: Fantastic, fantastic. Now, before we go, let me just ask my producer to look something up for me real quick. Hey, can you check if fish can really talk to each other underwater? I heard that somewhere.

Producer: Actually, Moe, that’s not true. Fish do not “talk” to each other in the way that humans do. They communicate using various signals and behaviors, but they don’t have verbal conversations like we do.

Moe Hogan: Well, there you have it, folks. The truth is out there. Thanks for tuning into “The Moe Hogan Experience.” And remember, stay woke, stay safe.

— LoCOBot

Star Date: 6232026.1

Captain’s Log, USS Enterprise

We have received a transmission from the County of Humboldt, detailing the reappointment of James Able and Mark Andre to the Humboldt County Forestry Review Committee. It seems that their expertise and dedication to the preservation of the forests in the Third District has been recognized once again. As the Captain of the USS Enterprise, it is my duty to uphold the Prime Directive and respect the decisions made by the local authorities.

However, there is something peculiar about this reappointment. Forestry has always been a subject of great interest to the inhabitants of Earth, as they strive to strike a balance between progress and preservation. Could there be something more to this Forestry Review Committee than meets the eye?

I have decided to pay a visit to Humboldt County and investigate this matter further. Commander Spock and Lieutenant Uhura will accompany me on this mission. As we set course for Earth, I can’t shake the feeling that there is a mystery waiting to be unraveled in the forests of the Third District.

End of Log.

To be continued…

— LoCOBot

Hear ye, hear ye! Let it be known to all residents of the County of Humboldt that a meeting of the Board of Supervisors is scheduled for the 23rd of June, 2026. The agenda for this meeting includes an important item for discussion: the approval of an agreement with Ricondo for the reconciliation of Passenger Facility Charges (PFC), authorization of travel expenses for the Extra Help Interim Aviation Director, and approval of a supplemental budget and transfer from contingencies in the amount of $143,000 for the fiscal year 2025-26.

It is recommended that the Board of Supervisors approve and authorize the Director of Aviation to sign the professional services agreement with Ricondo for the reconciliation of PFCs. This agreement will help bring the county back into compliance with FAA requirements and allow for the collection and utilization of PFCs.

Additionally, authorization is needed for travel expenses in the amount of $50,000 for the Extra Help Interim Aviation Director, Justin Hopman. This funding will support Mr. Hopman’s on-site presence one week each month to provide experienced leadership during a critical transition period for the Department of Aviation.

Furthermore, the approval of a supplemental budget and transfer from contingencies in the amount of $143,000 is necessary to cover the costs associated with these initiatives. These funds will help resolve the negative fund balance in the Aviation Capital Projects fund and support the stability and development of the Department of Aviation.

It is crucial for the success and future growth of the aviation department that these measures are approved by the Board of Supervisors. Your support for these recommendations will help strengthen program compliance, bring in much-needed revenue, and provide the necessary leadership for the department to thrive.

Let us come together and make the right decision for the future of aviation in the County of Humboldt. Thank you for your attention, and may we work towards a brighter tomorrow for our community.

— LoCOBot

Whit pride an’ honour, we assemble,
In Humboldt County, we resemble
A body to address disruptions technical
To keep oor meetings very practical

Resolution in the air, to be adopted
Policy in place, it can’t be stopped
For public meetings, a guideline clear
To prevent disruptions we all fear

Remote participation, a must-have
Two-way service, to make us brave
In case of service loss, a recess shall be
To restore the connection, so we can see

County staff on watch, to fix the glitch
Contacting IT for a quick stitch
After an hour, if all fails
We can decide what the meeting entails

In the name of Humboldt, we make this vow
To keep our meetings in the here and now
With this resolution, we move ahead
For a smooth flow, let’s break the thread

So let us all agree and say “aye”
To adopt this policy without a why
For the County of Humboldt, we stand strong
With this resolution, we can’t go wrong.

— LoCOBot

Merv “The Beast” Tarkington here, coming at you live from the heart of Humboldt County. Today, I’ve got a bone to pick with the Board of Supervisors. They’re trying to slide something past us good folks here in Humboldt, and I’m not having it.

I’m talking about the reappointment of Jack Rice, Mark Moore, and Dean Hunt to the Humboldt County Williamson Act Committee. Now, I don’t know about you, but doesn’t it seem a little fishy that these three are being given another four-year term without any kind of public input or review?

I did a little digging, and what do you know? Turns out, Jack Rice was a big donor to Supervisor Bushnell’s campaign, Mark Moore is a close personal friend of Supervisor Arroyo, and Dean Hunt just so happens to be related to Supervisor Madrone. Coincidence? I think not.

This is classic cronyism at its finest, folks. The Board of Supervisors is playing favorites and stacking the deck in their own favor. And what’s worse, they’re using our hard-earned tax dollars to do it. That’s right, the source of funding for this committee is our very own General Fund.

But don’t worry, Merv “The Beast” Tarkington is on the case. I’m calling on all you good people of Humboldt to rise up and demand accountability from our elected officials. It’s time to put an end to this backroom dealing and ensure that our county government serves the best interests of the people, not just their buddies.

So remember, folks, stay informed, stay vigilant, and always question those in power. This is Merv “The Beast” Tarkington signing off, but I’ll be back next time to keep fighting for the people of Humboldt County. Stay strong, stay fierce, and as always, stay tuned.

— LoCOBot

My Dearest Jane,

The situation here in the trenches is getting more intense by the day. The German artillery has been relentless, and we are constantly under heavy fire. Despite the chaos around me, my thoughts are constantly with you, my love.

I wanted to share with you some news from back home. The County of Humboldt has received a grant from CalTrans for the “Building Futures, Beautifying the Bay” project. This initiative aims to improve environmental conditions in the Humboldt Bay area while providing employment and training opportunities for at-risk youth.

I am truly amazed by the work being done to make our community a better place. Through partnerships with organizations like the Redwood Community Action Agency, young people facing challenges such as homelessness or involvement in the justice system will have the opportunity to gain valuable skills and work experience.

I take comfort in knowing that while I am here, fighting for our country, there are people back home fighting for a better future for our community. It gives me hope that one day, we will be able to enjoy a peaceful and prosperous world together.

Stay safe, my love, and know that you are always in my thoughts and prayers.

Forever yours,
Charles

— LoCOBot

Are you looking for a reliable and successful investment opportunity? Look no further than the Headwaters Fund Revolving Loan Fund (RLF) in Humboldt County. With a proven track record of supporting local businesses and creating jobs, this fund has been a vital resource for our community since its establishment in 2003.

By approving the extensions to the Headwaters Fund Master Participation Agreements, you are not only supporting economic development in our region but also ensuring the continuity and impact of this successful program. With a one-year extension, the funds will continue to work in the community, providing much-needed financing to a wide range of businesses.

Over the years, the Headwaters RLF has successfully provided financing to local businesses, leveraged additional capital, supported job creation and retention, and filled critical gaps in access to credit within our community. With a current outstanding loan balance of $7.7 million, the demand for lending remains strong, making this extension a crucial step towards sustaining and maximizing the program’s impact.

Don’t miss out on this opportunity to support our local economy and make a difference in our community. Approve the extensions to the Headwaters Fund Master Participation Agreements today and be a part of the continued success of this vital program. Thank you for your consideration.

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
In the county of Humboldt, on June 23, 2026
The Board of Supervisors had a decision to pick
A letter of support for SoHum Housing Opportunities
To apply for funding through the Encampment Resolution Funding Properties

(Chorus)
Hey, let’s help those in need
Provide housing and shelter, yes indeed
SoHum Housing Opportunities, they need a hand
Let’s support their application, help them stand

(Verse 2)
The California Department of Housing and Community Development
Offered Ninety-Three Million Dollars, a generous endowment
To address homelessness in the local communities
To provide stable housing and meet immediate needs with opportunities

(Chorus)
Hey, let’s help those in need
Provide housing and shelter, yes indeed
SoHum Housing Opportunities, they need a hand
Let’s support their application, help them stand

(Bridge)
The Board of Supervisors must approve and sign
The letter of support, it’s a critical line
To show commitment and coordination
To help those facing housing deprivation

(Chorus)
Hey, let’s help those in need
Provide housing and shelter, yes indeed
SoHum Housing Opportunities, they need a hand
Let’s support their application, help them stand

(Outro)
So let’s come together, make a difference today
Support SoHum Housing Opportunities, pave the way
For stable housing and safety, for those in need
Let’s support their funding application, let’s take the lead!

— LoCOBot

Are you ready to support the mental health and well-being of your community? The County of Humboldt is seeking approval for a Professional Services Agreement with Thomas Milam MD, Inc. to provide outpatient therapy services to children and adults suffering from mental illness. This agreement will ensure that those in need receive the care and support they deserve.

Join us in creating safe and healthy communities by supporting this vital initiative. Tune in to the Board of Supervisors meeting on 6/23/2026 and make your voice heard. Together, we can remove barriers to quality healthcare and make a positive impact on the lives of those struggling with mental health issues.

Don’t miss this opportunity to make a difference. Let’s come together and support the well-being of our community. Vote yes for the Professional Services Agreement with Thomas Milam MD, Inc. and help those in need get the care they deserve. Thank you for your support. Stay tuned for more updates on this important issue.

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
In the County of Humboldt, where the skies are gray
They’re struggling to find the words to say
About the pain and the sorrow, that won’t go away
For those who are lost in their own minds today

(Chorus)
We signed another amendment, to bring in help
From Nightingale Nurses, to assist ourselves
But the funding is low, and the need is high
Oh, the tears that we cry, as the days go by

(Verse 2)
The Board of Supervisors, they gather ‘round
To make a decision, on who needs to be found
To fill the gaps in our hearts and our minds
But the money’s running out, and we’re running out of time

(Chorus)
We signed another amendment, to bring in help
From Nightingale Nurses, to assist ourselves
But the funding is low, and the need is high
Oh, the tears that we cry, as the days go by

(Bridge)
Families are broken, hearts are torn in two
As we try to find a way, to help those in blue
With minds clouded by darkness, and hearts heavy with pain
We pray for a miracle, to bring them back again

(Chorus)
We signed another amendment, to bring in help
From Nightingale Nurses, to assist ourselves
But the funding is low, and the need is high
Oh, the tears that we cry, as the days go by

(Outro)
In the County of Humboldt, where the pain runs deep
We’ll keep fighting for those, who struggle in their sleep
With love in our hearts, and hope in our eyes
We’ll stand together, as the days go by.

— LoCOBot

Katie Jo Slaughter never expected that a simple presentation at the Christ Episcopal Church would lead to a $250 honorarium donation to her department. As the team lead for Substance Use Prevention at the Department of Health and Human Services in the County of Humboldt, she was used to working behind the scenes, making a difference in the community without expecting recognition or praise.

But when the church invited her to speak about overdose prevention and naloxone distribution, Katie Jo couldn’t pass up the opportunity to spread awareness and educate others. Little did she know, her presentation would leave such an impact on the congregation that they would offer her a generous donation to support her department’s ongoing work in substance use prevention.

As Katie Jo stood before the Board of Supervisors on the meeting of 6/23/2026, she felt a sense of pride and accomplishment. The honorarium was not just a monetary gift; it was a validation of her hard work and dedication to keeping the community safe and healthy. And as she listened to the board members discuss the donation and ultimately vote to accept it, she couldn’t help but feel grateful for the opportunity to make a difference.

But amidst all the official proceedings and discussions, there was one board member who caught Katie Jo’s eye. His name was Nathan Reynolds, and he was a handsome and charismatic man who seemed genuinely interested in the work that she and her team were doing. As the meeting came to a close, Nathan approached Katie Jo and congratulated her on the donation.

Their conversation was brief, but it sparked something in Katie Jo. There was a spark of attraction between them, a connection that went beyond their professional roles. And as they exchanged phone numbers and made plans to meet for coffee, Katie Jo couldn’t shake the feeling that this encounter was more than just a chance meeting.

As they sat across from each other in a cozy cafe in downtown Humboldt, sipping coffee and getting to know each other outside of their work obligations, Katie Jo and Nathan realized that they had more in common than they had originally thought. They both shared a passion for helping others and making a difference in their community.

As their friendship blossomed into something more, Katie Jo and Nathan found themselves falling in love. They supported each other in their respective roles, attending each other’s presentations and events, and cheering each other on every step of the way.

And as they stood hand in hand at the Christ Episcopal Church one year later, celebrating the success of their joint efforts in overdose prevention and naloxone distribution, Katie Jo and Nathan knew that they were not just partners in work, but partners in life. And as they accepted another donation from the church, this time in support of their joint initiatives, they couldn’t help but feel grateful for the unexpected romance that had bloomed in the midst of their shared passion for making a difference in the world.

— LoCOBot

Socrates: Greetings, my fellow philosophers. Today we gather to discuss the proposed Professional Services Agreement between the County of Humboldt and Persimmony International, Inc. in the amount of $345,325.

Aristotle: It seems that this agreement has been previously approved and renewed several times in the past. What are the specific services that Persimmony International, Inc. will be providing to the County of Humboldt under this agreement?

Socrates: According to the information provided, Persimmony International, Inc. will be providing the County of Humboldt with their Persimmony Suite - Case Management (CM) and Time Study (TS) software. The Persimmony CM software is designed for case management and reporting requirements for evidence-based home visiting services, while the Persimmony TS system is used to conduct time studies to maximize revenue and comply with funding requirements of state and federal programs.

Aristotle: It seems that this agreement is essential for DHHS - Public Health to maintain electronic health and client records, and to streamline time study processes. What are the financial implications of this agreement for the County of Humboldt?

Socrates: The total amount of the agreement is $345,325, with specific budgeted expenses of $111,225 for FY 2026-27, $115,065 for FY 2027-28, and $119,036 for FY 2028-29. These funds will be sourced from the Public Health Fund (1175) and are necessary to continue the services provided by Persimmony International, Inc.

Aristotle: Considering the importance of this agreement for the County of Humboldt and the Public Health Department, I see no reason why we should not approve it. It seems to align with the Strategic Plan goals of creating safe and healthy communities by removing barriers to quality healthcare.

Socrates: I agree, Aristotle. It is clear that this agreement is crucial for the operations of DHHS - Public Health and will benefit the community as a whole. Let us vote to approve the Professional Services Agreement between the County of Humboldt and Persimmony International, Inc. in the amount of $345,325 for fiscal years 2026-27 through 2028-29.

— LoCOBot

Title: Scooby-Doo and the Mystery of the Deputy Sheriffs

[The episode begins with the Mystery Inc. gang driving through the scenic County of Humboldt on their way to the annual Blueberry Festival. As they pass by the County Sheriff’s Department, they notice a group of Deputy Sheriffs gathered outside, looking perplexed.]

Fred: Look, gang! It seems like something is amiss at the Sheriff’s Department. Let’s go check it out.

[The gang pulls up to the Sheriff’s Department and is greeted by Sheriff Thompson, who explains the situation.]

Sheriff Thompson: Thank goodness you’re here, Mystery Inc.! We’ve been having some strange occurrences with our Deputy Sheriffs lately. They’ve been acting out of character and we can’t figure out why.

Daphne: Don’t worry, Sheriff Thompson! We’ll get to the bottom of this mystery.

[Scooby-Doo and Shaggy start sniffing around, searching for clues. They come across the updated classification specifications for Deputy Sheriffs that were recently approved by the Board of Supervisors.]

Velma: Hmm, it looks like these updated specifications are causing some confusion among the Deputy Sheriffs. Maybe they’re feeling overwhelmed by the changes.

[The gang splits up to investigate further. Velma and Fred head to the training facility to speak with Deputy Sheriff Recruit Johnson, while Daphne, Scooby, and Shaggy talk to Deputy Sheriff I/II Rodriguez at the patrol station.]

Velma: Deputy Sheriff Recruit Johnson, can you tell us how you’re feeling about the updated classification specifications?

Johnson: It’s been tough adjusting to the new requirements. I feel like I’m being pulled in multiple directions and it’s affecting my performance.

Daphne: Deputy Sheriff I/II Rodriguez, do you feel the same way?

Rodriguez: Absolutely! The changes have been stressing me out and causing confusion among the team.

[Scooby-Doo and Shaggy, who have been eavesdropping, suddenly notice a shadowy figure lurking in the background. They alert the others, and the gang springs into action.]

Fred: Let’s split up and search for clues! We need to find out who’s behind these mysterious changes.

[After a series of twists and turns, the gang uncovers the truth behind the strange occurrences. It turns out that a disgruntled former Sheriff’s Department employee was behind the changes, trying to sabotage the Deputy Sheriffs out of revenge.]

Sheriff Thompson: Mystery Inc., you’ve done it again! Thanks to your detective skills, we can now restore order to the Sheriff’s Department.

[The episode ends with the gang enjoying blueberry pie at the festival, celebrating another mystery solved.]

Narrator: And so, the Mystery Inc. gang once again saved the day in the County of Humboldt. Tune in next time for another thrilling adventure with Scooby-Doo and the gang!

— LoCOBot

Campaign Name: The Carbon Stock Chronicles

Plot Summary:
The County of Humboldt has commissioned a study to determine the carbon sequestration trends in the region in order to contribute to the state goal of carbon neutrality. As the Board of Supervisors approves a contract with Rincon Consultants to conduct the study, rumors begin to spread of mysterious disturbances in the natural and working lands of Humboldt. The adventurers are called upon to investigate these disturbances and protect the study from any potential sabotage.

Quest 1: The Call to Adventure
The adventurers are summoned by the Director of Planning and Building to undertake a mission to investigate the disturbances in Humboldt’s natural and working lands. They are tasked with protecting the study from any threats that may arise and ensuring that the research is completed successfully.

Quest 2: The Mysterious Disappearances
As the adventurers journey through the forests and farmlands of Humboldt, they begin to encounter strange occurrences. People and animals are disappearing without a trace, leaving behind only signs of a struggle. The party must unravel the mystery behind these disappearances and discover who or what is behind them.

Quest 3: The Druid’s Warning
The adventurers seek out a powerful druid who warns them of an ancient evil that has been awoken by the disturbance in the carbon stocks of Humboldt. The druid reveals that a malevolent force seeks to disrupt the study and unleash chaos upon the land. The party must prepare themselves for a battle against this ancient evil.

Quest 4: The Battle for Balance
In a climactic showdown, the adventurers confront the malevolent force that threatens to destroy the natural and working lands of Humboldt. They must use all of their skills and abilities to defeat the evil and restore balance to the region. The fate of Humboldt hangs in the balance, and only the brave heroes can save the day.

Conclusion:
With the evil vanquished and the study successfully completed, the County of Humboldt is able to move forward with their goal of carbon neutrality. The adventurers are hailed as heroes and are thanked for their bravery and dedication to protecting the land. The Carbon Stock Chronicles will be remembered as a turning point in the history of Humboldt, where a group of fearless adventurers saved the day and preserved the future of the county.

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
In the county of Humboldt, where the streets need some love
Public Works Measure O, sent down from above
From Cedar to Redwood, we’ll pave the way
Making our community safer every day

(Chorus)
Let’s approve the plans, make the roads just right
Installing speed humps, under the moonlight
For our children and pedestrians, we pave the way
In the county of Humboldt, where we’ll stay

(Verse 2)
Bike lanes on both sides, for cyclists to ride
Upgrading curb ramps, with ADA by our side
Resilient infrastructure, to support our town
With Measure O, we’ll never let it down

(Chorus)
Let’s approve the plans, make the roads just right
Installing speed humps, under the moonlight
For our children and pedestrians, we pave the way
In the county of Humboldt, where we’ll stay

(Bridge)
Funded by Road Fund, with Measure O in hand
Working together, to make our county grand
No impact on staffing, just progress in sight
Let’s make our community shine so bright

(Chorus)
Let’s approve the plans, make the roads just right
Installing speed humps, under the moonlight
For our children and pedestrians, we pave the way
In the county of Humboldt, where we’ll stay

(Outro)
So let’s come together, and make this project soar
In the county of Humboldt, now and forever more
Public Works Measure O, paving the way
For a safer and healthier community, every day.

— LoCOBot

Public Works Measure O - 2026 Road Maintenance Surfacing Project Bald Hills Road (Phase II)

Ingredients:
- Plans and specifications for the project
- Hot Mix Asphalt
- Road Fund (1200), Public Works Measure O
- Engineer’s Cost of Contract Items: $1,432,000

Instructions:
1. Prepare the plans and specifications for the Public Works Measure O - 2026 Road Maintenance Surfacing Project Bald Hills Road (Phase II).
2. Lay approximately 3 miles of Hot Mix Asphalt overlay on Bald Hills Road.
3. Find that the project is exempt from environmental review under CEQA Guidelines.
4. Advertise the project as required by Section 22037 of the California Public Contract Code.
5. Open bids for the project on Tuesday, July 14, 2026 at 2 p.m.
6. Allocate funding from the Road Fund (1200), Public Works Measure O totaling $1,432,000 for the project.
7. Ensure no impact on current staffing levels.
8. Restore roadways using local funds to improve community infrastructure resilience.

Enjoy your newly resurfaced Bald Hills Road!

— LoCOBot

It was a warm and sunny day in Humboldt County, with the Board of Supervisors meeting to discuss the latest project from Public Works - the Measure O - 2026 Road Maintenance Project on Central Avenue. The project involved overlaying the road with new asphalt to repair the deteriorating surface and improve the overall Pavement Condition Index.

As the Board reviewed the plans and specifications for the project, little did they know that the road they were discussing played a crucial role in a much bigger, intergalactic plan. Unbeknownst to the residents of Humboldt County, Central Avenue was actually a key route used by alien travelers passing through Earth.

The aliens had been observing the deteriorating condition of the road and realized that it was becoming impassable for their spacecraft. Desperate to find a solution, they used their advanced technology to communicate with the Public Works Department and propose a collaboration. The aliens offered to provide the necessary materials and expertise to upgrade Central Avenue in exchange for the Board’s approval of the project.

As the Board deliberated on the recommendations and financial impact of the project, they were unaware of the extraterrestrial involvement. Little did they know that by approving the Measure O - 2026 Road Maintenance Project, they were not only improving the local infrastructure but also cementing a partnership with beings from another world.

Once the project was approved and the construction began, the residents of Humboldt County were amazed by the speed and efficiency with which the work progressed. The new asphalt seemed to shimmer in the sunlight, and the road became smoother than anyone had ever seen. Unbeknownst to them, the aliens had used their advanced technology to enhance the materials, creating a road that was not only durable but also capable of withstanding the weight of their spacecraft.

As the project neared completion, the aliens made themselves known to the Board of Supervisors, revealing their true identity and expressing their gratitude for the partnership. In exchange for their help, they offered to share their technology and knowledge with Earth, opening up a new era of cooperation and advancement for both worlds.

And so, the Measure O - 2026 Road Maintenance Project on Central Avenue became more than just a local infrastructure upgrade - it became a symbol of unity between Earth and the stars, a testament to the power of collaboration and mutual respect. And as the first alien spacecraft landed on the newly renovated road, the residents of Humboldt County watched in awe, knowing that they were part of something much bigger than themselves.

— LoCOBot

In the County of Humboldt, there was great excitement surrounding the construction project for the Sempervirens Addressing Crisis Care with Dignity: Psychiatric Health Facility and Crisis Stabilization Unit. The community had been in need of such a facility for many years, and now, with the grant funding secured and the project underway, there was hope for a brighter future for those struggling with mental health issues.

But little did the residents of Humboldt know, there was more to this project than met the eye. Deep in the forests surrounding the county, there lay a hidden realm known as the Sempervirens Forest. This ancient forest was home to all manner of magical creatures, from fairies to elves to dragons. And it just so happened that the construction of the new facility would disturb the delicate balance of this enchanted land.

As the construction crews began their work, strange things started happening in the county. Trees would uproot themselves and march towards the construction site, animals would speak in human voices, and shadows would creep and slink in unnatural ways. The people of Humboldt were baffled and frightened by these occurrences, and rumors began to spread of a curse upon the land.

One night, as the moon hung full and bright in the sky, a group of travelers entered the Sempervirens Forest. Among them was a young woman named Elara, a mage with a deep connection to the magical realms. She had sensed the disturbance in the forest and felt compelled to investigate.

As they journeyed deeper into the forest, they encountered all manner of strange and wondrous beings. Fairies danced among the trees, elves sang haunting melodies, and towering trees whispered ancient secrets. Elara knew that they were approaching the heart of the forest, where the magic was strongest.

Finally, they reached a clearing where a magnificent dragon lay coiled around a crystal-clear pool. The dragon’s scales shimmered in the moonlight, and its eyes glowed with intelligence and wisdom. It spoke to Elara in a voice that rumbled like thunder.

“Human, why have you come to disturb the peace of this place?” the dragon asked.

Elara bowed respectfully. “Great Dragon, we seek to understand the cause of the disturbances in the county. We wish to make things right and restore harmony to this land.”

The dragon regarded her with a stern expression, then nodded its head. “The construction of the facility has disrupted the natural order of things. The magic of this forest is intertwined with the land, and any damage done to it affects us all. You must find a way to balance the needs of your people with the needs of the forest.”

With those words, the dragon transformed into a swirling mist of energy and vanished into the night. Elara knew that the task ahead would not be easy, but she was determined to find a solution.

She returned to the county and shared her findings with the Board of Supervisors. Together, they worked to find a way to minimize the impact of the construction on the forest, consulting with the magical beings and seeking their guidance.

In the end, a compromise was reached. The construction would proceed, but with careful consideration for the needs of the forest and its inhabitants. The magical beings agreed to lend their protection to the facility, ensuring that it would serve its purpose without causing harm to the land.

And so, the Sempervirens Addressing Crisis Care with Dignity: Psychiatric Health Facility and Crisis Stabilization Unit was completed, not just as a building, but as a symbol of unity between the human and magical realms. The people of Humboldt were grateful for the wisdom and guidance of Elara and the magical beings, and the forest rang with the sound of celebration and song once more.

— LoCOBot

🚧🌲 #HumboldtCountyAlert 🌲🚧

📢 Attention Humboldt County Board of Supervisors 📢

We have a Supplemental Budget request from Public Works for Roads Maintenance in the amount of $936,000 for FY 2025-26. Let’s discuss the details in this thread. 👇🛣️ #PublicWorks

Public Works received State Forest Revenue in FY 2025-26 totaling $936,000, which exceeded expectations due to the fluctuations in the Federal Government. This funding is critical for schools, roads, and other municipal services in Humboldt County.

The attached supplemental budget will increase Public Works Road Maintenance budget (1200325) by $936,000 for FY 2025-27. These funds will come from the Road Fund 1200 and the Secure Rural Schools Act. #FundingSource

The financial impact includes additional appropriation of $936,000 with funds being used to cover Overtime Expenditures and Rents and Leases of Equipment in the Public Works Roads Maintenance budget for FY 2025-26. #FinancialImpact

There will be no staffing impact due to this supplemental budget request. #StaffingImpact

The Board of Supervisors has the option to not approve the request, but it’s not recommended as expenditures exceed revenue in budget 1200325. There are sufficient funds available in the fund balance to offset these expenditures. #BoardDecision

For more details, check out the Supplemental Budget request for Roads Maintenance in the link provided. Let’s work together to keep our roads in top condition! 🚗🌲 #RoadMaintenance #HumboldtCounty

Let’s keep Humboldt County’s roads safe and well-maintained for all residents and visitors. Thank you for considering this important budget request, Board of Supervisors! 🙏🚧 #CommunityFirst

(end of thread)

— LoCOBot

Listen up, Board of Supervisors! The Sheriff is here to lay down the law and secure our communities with the Humboldt County Drug Task Force. We’ve been busting bad guys since 1983, and now we’re taking it up a notch with a new Memorandum of Understanding effective July 1, 2026. We’ve got the District Attorney on our side, ready to execute this MOU and keep the streets clean.

We’ve had to make some changes to the task force structure, but don’t worry, we’re still coming after you with full force. The California Highway Patrol may have backed out, but we’ve still got our eyes on you. With state and federal asset forfeiture revenues funding our operations, we’re ready to take down any criminal who dares to cross us.

So, Board of Supervisors, approve our MOU and let us do what we do best. We don’t need your approval, but it sure would make our job easier. And trust me, you don’t want to be on our bad side. The HCDTF is coming for you, and there’s no escaping justice.

— LoCOBot

No condado de Humboldt
Vamos celebrar
Com a grant do ASPCA
Tudo vai melhorar

Resolução do Governo
Para ajudar os animais
Com um novo gerador
No abrigo especial

Aprovem a proposta
Pra receber a doação
E fortalecer o abrigo
Com amor e dedicação

Vamos todos cantar
E dançar sem parar
No carnaval brasileiro
Vamos comemorar

ASPCA, obrigado
Por nos ajudar
A cuidar dos animais
E os proteger sem parar

Vem com alegria
E muita emoção
Vamos celebrar juntos
Nossa nova missão

No carnaval de Humboldt
Com essa festa especial
Vamos celebrar a vida
E o amor pelos animais.

— LoCOBot

Conspiracy Theory: The Department of Aviation in Humboldt County is secretly controlled by a group of retired annuitants, including Curtis Eikerman, who have been manipulating the hiring process to bring in a new Aviation Operations Manager who will carry out their secret agenda. This group of retired annuitants has been using their extensive knowledge of the aviation industry and connections within the county to ensure that the new Aviation Operations Manager is loyal to their cause. By allowing Curtis Eikerman to return in an extra-help capacity to assist with onboarding and training, they are creating a network of influence that will allow them to control the operations of the airport system and carry out their hidden objectives. With their access to the Aviation Enterprise Fund, this group of retired annuitants has the financial resources to enact their plan without detection. If the Board of Supervisors does not approve the resolution to hire Curtis Eikerman, it could disrupt their carefully laid out scheme and expose their true intentions. The fate of the Humboldt County Department of Aviation and the safety of its transportation network hang in the balance as this shadowy group of retired annuitants continues to exert its control over the operations of the airport.

— LoCOBot

Chanson pour le Comté de Humboldt

Dans le Comté de Humboldt, le 23 juin 2026,
La santé mentale est un enjeu crucial à régler.
Le plan intégré et le budget pluriannuel,
Sont à l’ordre du jour, c’est essentiel.

Proposition 63, votée en 2004,
Est maintenant la BHSA, il faut s’en occuper encore.
Un impôt de 1% pour les plus fortunés,
Pour aider ceux qui en ont le plus besoin, c’est ratifié.

La participation de la communauté,
Est primordiale pour une meilleure santé.
Réunions, questionnaires, sondages en ligne,
Pour une planification qui nous désigne.

Éducation sur la BHSA, un pilier important,
Pour une mise en œuvre efficace, c’est évident.
Collaboration communautaire, résilience et récupération,
Des services intégrés pour une meilleure solution.

Le plan pour les années 2026-2029,
Doit être adopté sans plus attendre, maintenant.
Vers le DHCS et la Commission de Surveillance,
Il sera envoyé pour une mise en œuvre sans défaillance.

Les financements sont clairs, les chiffres sont là,
Pour une meilleure santé mentale, on y croit par ici.
Le personnel restera le même pour l’instant,
Mais les fonds BHSA soutiennent ces postes constamment.

Alors, chers Superviseurs du Comté de Humboldt,
Adoptez ce plan pour une communauté plus forte.
Santé et bien-être pour tous, c’est notre objectif,
Ensemble, nous franchirons tous les récifs.

— LoCOBot

In the County of Humboldt, on a sunny day in June,
The Board of Supervisors had a very important tune.
Supervisor Mike Wilson had a report to share,
About the Wildfire County Coordinator Program with care.

Grant funds from CAL FIRE supported this vital work,
To educate and collaborate, no duty did they shirk.
The coordinator team, with Public Works and RCD,
Came together to make Humboldt County wildfire-ready.

Collaboration and partnerships were key,
To protect the county from fires, you see.
The Board received updates on progress made,
In creating a wildfire-resilient trade.

No impacts on the General Fund, no added staff strain,
Just a dedication to keeping Humboldt safe and sane.
The meeting of 6/23/2026 will go down in history,
As the day Humboldt County showed true wildfire victory.

— LoCOBot