I married my cousin

Some responsibility settles on your shoulders like the heavy yoke of an ox cart but other responsibility, no matter its weight, lightens your load and gives joy. This weekend, I married my cousin. (In spite of how the photo looks, I’m performing the ceremony—not wedding my beautiful cousin.)I cried when they asked me to do it, I cried when I spoke the words to them, and I get teary now thinking of how hopeful a marriage, especially theirs is.

At Bret and Elly’s request I wrote the ceremony for them—that and a few photos are below the fold.

The Bride’s Brother—Ren

The Groom, Bret

Looking at Bret

Kissing is catching

Mingling

Bride’s Aunt

Mischief

Wedding smiles

The photos above were taken by me

The Photos below by Kevin

Seeing the Bride

Groom’s Father and the dogs

My two oldest and me

Groom and his mother

The Ceremony

Like the ocean is made up of millions of droplets of water, a marriage is made of millions of moments. Elly and Brett, right now take a moment to promise yourselves and promise each other that you will make most of those small moments. Join  hands. Try to fill the moments with kindness, respect and understanding. Scoop up handfuls of life, splash each other with love and laughter.

Remember, like the tides, love ebbs and flows. Yes, hard as you find it to believe, there are times when you will wonder why you married this person—you won’t even be sure you like them. But, just as the tides always return so too will love’s intensity if you give each other time and attention. Enjoy each other’s sense of humor. And laugh. Always, Laugh often.

Spend time with each other. Spend time apart. Spend time taking care of each other. Spend time taking care of yourselves. Spend time laughing. Spend lots of time laughing.

Refresh yourself and your marriage with time together in nature. Walk together along the seasons of life—splash through the Spring wind tossed waves, wander hand in hand along warm sandy summer beaches, explore tide pools lit by autumn sunlight and, wrapped in each other’s arms gaze towards the magic of whales across Winter waters. And laugh with the sheer joy of sharing your life together.

Vow to help each other out of the dark gray waves of troubled times. Vow to wrap each other in the warmth of understanding even when the waters of daily life are cold.—Remember why you chose each other. And when you cry, try and cry together and when you laugh, try not to laugh at each other. (But you will and that will be alright, too.)

A marriage, like a ship at sea, requires the crew—the husband, the wife—to put in more than a fair share of work. Each person must do more than required. Spouses must do more than half the work in a relationship. When each of you does more than half willingly—eager to make the partnership stay afloat—-unworried about whether the other is currently pulling his or her share, then you and your marriage will not only survive but thrive. So be willing to carry more than your load, I promise the warmth and laughter, the ease and trust that will result will be worth the extra work.

vows

Elly and Brett, we—your family, your friends gather here on the shore of your marriage to share your day with you. Remember we love you and will be here to lend a hand, to offer shoulders to cry on and always, always we will help you laugh.

Here with your family and friends, by the power you have entrusted in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for here and forever. For now, for always, may our love surround your love. May your love always last. May your laughter echo in your great granchildren’s ears. May the ocean of life treat you kindly.

Remember we love you.

Let the kisses and laughter begin…..

Photo by Kevin Church