Crabs Close Series, Open Zippers [NSFW?]

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Mike Dronkers / Sunday, June 16, 2013 @ 7:08 p.m. / Humboldt Crabs

Crabs Close Series, Open Zippers [NSFW?]

[Fourth in our series of Pulitzer-losing sports coverage]

Crabs won, barely, in an above-average game whose pleasant tension only amplified the end result. It wasn’t until the bottom of the ninth that the Crabbies seized control. The Menlo Park Legends (henceforth referred to as the Bums) go home having lost three of four games in Arcata.

“What a great day to watch the Crabs win a close game,” said Lord Ellis drummer Steve Bohner. “Congrats and happy Father’s day. Go Crabs!”

It was Father’s day
It was KHUM day
It was Cher-Ae-Heights-Gives-You-A-Seat-Cushion Day (thanks!)
It was kids-run-the-bases day, followed by kids-run-through-the-sprinklers day, followed by kids-soak-through-the-booster-seat day

Most visibly, it was Suspenders Day in memory of the great Jerry Nutter. Many suspenders were rocked and subsequently britches were held up.

Also visible was a particular right-handed Crabs hitter whose zipper was blatantly open.

PRO TIP: If you’re in front of 1,200 people, check your fly.

The Bums’ catcher was ejected & the crowd predictably went berserk [Pictured, top]. Your reporter was told that the catcher articulated his frustration physically with Don The Ump, which apparently carries a two-game suspension.

You want to know the only imperfection of the day? The root beer float line. Woefully overwhelmed concessionaires wore brave faces while the line of unquenched fans grew ever longer. The line was asked to curve left, then re-asked to form a U, if you don’t mind. Nobody minded.

By The Numbers: